I can't stop making print-on-demand products. It's addictive. I'm using Shutterstock with Printify to fill up my pop-up store. It's been amazing. Now I just need to get a sale. I've made over 200 products in a few days.

Many more to come. I'm so tired. I want to do more but I'm kind of spinning out. I'm having herbal tea, and writing this to wind down. I have a lot of weird feelings. Not that abstract existential crap but thinking about the future of this country.

I can't stop. It's been in the back of my mind. It's filled me with purpose, oddly enough. I really can't help but wonder where I'll be and where this country will be in five years. I feel like we're all going to Hell but the bad people will too and I find that very funny.

I have some hope that for myself, I can be happy. I'm happy with what I've been doing. That's something. I narrated IHNMAIMS to celebrate 500 subscribers on my YouTube channel. It only has nine or so views so far, but it's one of my favorite stories of all time and I would narrate it if it got zero views.

Now with that said back to fan service. I should do something sexy next. God what a weird channel to be subscribed to. One day you see a notif for IHNMAIMS and the next you get a notif that you're about to get railed by a rodeo clown or some dumb thing I'll do next.

I watched a video yesterday from a channel with around 120 subs. It was an autistic guy telling people that if they're neurodivergent they should start a YouTube channel because it's very isolated but also interactive.

It's the perfect ratio for autists really. At least in my opinion, and that other guy's opinion. He's homeless living out of his car, looking to get a van. I took his video as a sign from God that I should indeed keep going and doing what I do.

It'll keep you in beans and rice. I think he said something like 50K subs to earn a decent amount, but you can start earning at 1K something like $100 a month. I obviously don't intend to stop growing at that point.

Patreon doesn't hurt, that's for sure.

I've always lived an austere life, no fun bought outside of a vibrator. I have to have some hedonism. I'd write that off as a work expense. In any case, it would not be much different going forward.

Except I won't have to wallow in shame and self-pity anymore. I can earn my right to live and stop being a burden. I know in a perfect socialist utopian future that the liberals want no person would be a burden.

Sadly I live in the bad timeline. I'm very lucky though by most metrics. With the joy that I get from entertaining people in this way. If that dude can do it with his phone in his car, I can do it. I'm great with people as a disembodied voice behind a screen.