Now, I know what you're thinking, from the title, this is probably a guy I'm talking about, and he's probably my boyfriend. Ehe, he's not. But I ended up getting one along the way. He is rn my ex-friend (my used to be partner). For those who know what it's like to lose a BFF... ya, it's painful isn't it? The guilt... the memories...
I've always wanted a guy best friend, well a BFF in general to talk too like I used to but she didn't have classes with me anymore so I wanted someone to talk to. He happened to want one too, and... well I'll explain along the way. If you are bored, you don't have to continue.

His name is Sam, real name Samuel, he's Asian and well... let's start from the beginning:

We met in mid June i think, it was in 2018 summer, the last summer before high school. I didn't really know much about him, I remember texting him before and hearing from what my cousin (Kelly) and her friend said about him. Whenever she spoke of him, she made him sound like a fuck boy and a complete weirdo. I didn't like him. Now I know you're not really supposed to judge a person and it's rude but the way her friend described him made me want to punch him in the face for annoying and liking my older cousin.
So back to the present, he was ringing my cousin, texting her, and she just seemed so annoyed with him. I was a bit mature then, not from the time I texted him what, two or a year ago.
I sat there and tried peeking at the messages. He looked desperate to me. He went on about hw and how her day was. He brought up anime- oh ya, where are my Tokyo ghoul fans?- and they talked a bit, she put down the phone, and this one text, it, disgusted me.
"Ya it's too gorey for a sweet girl like you" (or something like that) and I was angry, the way this guy tried to flirt with my cousin and the smirk face right after, nearly made me pop my eye balls out. He and her talked some more and she sighed, from him and her hw.

Here's the thing with me. I am too kind, like seriously, if you were to say something or do anything mean to me, I would forgive you in a heart beat not bec I persuade myself to think you didn't have those intentions but I don't want that person who hurt me, to feel guilty. So in this situation, my anger kinda was fast to subside, and the way she didn't text back kinda made me... idk tempted to find out about him myself, even tho I knew he kinda liked her; I was too wanting a friend at the moment. I asked her about him and why she didn't respond, knowing "she's annoyed with him/ she doesn't like him"

*I know, this is confusing, I was mad first now I want to be his friend, it's not pity but... I just wanted to make him feel special after I heard her say he didn't have much friends*

She sighed, saying that he was annoying and probably liked her and I know my cousin quite well, she's very kind and never thinks anyone like that so... this guy, must be a real idiot for pissing her off.
Her phone kept ringing a bit and I rem-I'm not good with memory-she said something about him not having a lot of friends, which, well, I don't rem if that surprised me or not but then, I wanted to become friends with him. He, seemed a like a nice guy in a way I guess, he might have been annoying but maybe he wanted to just talk and not feel lonely ya know?
I asked her if I could text him, I pleaded her for about a good three minutes and she went over rules, (btw, this all happened on an app called hangouts, it's a nice app, yall should try) I sat there bored asf, and the moment she was done, I started texting right away and he seemed to have remembered me too. We texted this and that the rest of the day, exchanged discord accounts and had more jokes but the one joke that got me a bit annoyed was "she breathes she a thot!" And that was meant towards kelly. I didn't say anything about it, at this point, we were texting daily now. It was fun getting to know him, he only watched Tokyo Gould, his favorite color was beige (I believe this was the color) and he had... depression too...-

*Those with depression, anxiety, other disorders, know what's it's like to want to make other happy don't you? Who makes you happy?*

-I went on about mine (I believe that's how it started) and how stressed out I was about taking care of 9 of my cousins in house, and he went on about his, the thing is... he first went on about committing suicide one night not long after we texted each other and... I cried... I was scared... I didn't know him but the burden of not stopping someone from suicide was... scary to think of. He was my new friend anyway and I wanted to meet him, I kinda guess I had intentions of making him my boyfriend- well not making but thinking of dating him. We're young, y'all get it, we kinda all want a girlfriend/ boyfriend, anyway-
It took me while, prob up to an hour to convince him not to and my mom prob heard or saw me crying, since we slept on the same bed.
I walked into the bathroom to not get my suspicions up and I tried desperately to convince him to not kill him self on a call.
Idk if he was going to go or not if I hadn't met/ texted him at all, not just this night. I was scared.
He ended up not going, he said he would live for me and didn't want to cause me pain. Now you may think he's manipulative from those words, that's what my boyfriend said later on. But for now, let's just focus on tonight. This night, scared me, and thinking back to it now... it was just... a moment... a moment that will be forgotten...

Thank you guys for hearing about my first chapter. I hope you guys still forgive me about being gone for nearly half a month, I will make it up hopefully soon! See you guys later! I love y'all! Happy birthday to any if it's you guys birthday today! 🖤🧸🌺🎂💕🎃