True to his word, Vio never brought up his offer again. The only other time I was able to see him before that delve was another conversation-filled evening with Melva in tow this time. It ended with us having to help her home, she got so drunk. So much for me being a klutz, but it wasn't like she would see the irony in it.

   We all ended up seeing Vio off the morning he left, with Syele inviting us over for breakfast so we could do so. It wasn't an inconvenience for me or Melva since this was for Vio, and Aedia naturally wanted to come with us as well. Lissy was definitely surprised and happy to see her mentor show up at her door instead of the other way around.

   Of course, we didn't have much time to enjoy the food and conversation. Soon enough, Syele was ushering a mostly-awake Vio out the door, and that was enough to wake him up fully so he could say his goodbyes.

   "Have a good delve, Papa!" Lissy said cheerily as she hugged him, pulling him away from Syele in the process. She had actually grown a few inches taller than him, so she had to bend down a little so she could wrap her arms around him properly. She then leaned in close to his ear, and I heard her whisper, "Don't forget to bring something back for me."

   "I'll try my best," Vio said, squeezing her tightly. "Good luck with your delves, you two," he then said to me and Melva before focusing on me. "You and Aedia take care, okay? You know who you can go to if you need anything."

   Of course I knew by this point. "You say that every time you go on a delve like this," I said. "I-I'll be just fine, we both will."

   "I'm just making sure," Vio said with a nod.

   "Good luck yourself, shrimp," Melva said. "Be careful."

   Vio nodded again, pursing his lips. "Believe me, I will. No matter how many times I go down there, I do." They shared a somber look for a moment, only for it to be broken by Vio as he smiled. "See you in... well, when I get back." I watched with a heavy heart as he waved to all of us before joining a few of his teammates in the road, and it wasn't just because I was going to miss him.

   The moment Vio was out of sight, Lissy turned her attention to Aedia, excitedly talking up a storm like she usually did. It was jarring, but we all had to get back to our normal routines now, and Lissy would be Lissy.

   "Okay, you said you were gonna start teaching me surgery techniques, right?" she asked. "I wanna be able to really impress Papa with something I've learned, and that means I have to start learning now."

   Aedia didn't skip a beat with a response. "Yeah, but too much excitement isn't the best thing to have," she said. "It makes your hands shake, and believe me, ya don't want that." She made a squishing sound with her mouth as she mimed a small explosion with her fist. While I was mildly horrified by what she was insinuating with that, Lissy hardly batted an eye. I actually did trust Aedia with a scalpel, but the idea of teaching that to someone made me nervous. It was why I wasn't interested in taking on an apprentice of my own besides... not being able to show them everything in the Abyss they would need to know.

   "How do you do it?" I asked Syele. She looked at me, confused, and I clarified. "How are you fine with... letting him go?"

   Syele arched a brow but responded. "I'm surprised you would ask that, Len. But I can say while it's hard, I can't stop him. You know that well enough by now," she said, and I nodded. "I've come to accept it years ago. I don't think he's told you this? The first time I met him, he was coming back from a delve. He was cut up and bloodstained, Bellan scolding him for being so reckless while climbing. But he was grinning all the while. Delving is just a part of him, though I don't need to tell you that."

   Of course she didn't... I held back a sigh. "You're... right about that," I replied, albeit through gritted teeth. Melva clapped me on the back a moment later, clearing her throat loudly.

   "Guess it's our turn to go," she said. "C'mon, we're burning daylight. See ya, Syele."

   "Good luck," she said with a smile, waving as Melva tried to drag me off with her. I called out a goodbye to Aedia, though she was caught up with Lissy. Hopefully she heard me. But now it was back to the usual.

—~*~—

For the most part, life from there progressed how it had for the past few years. Wake up, head to the Abyss, delve and turn in excavated Relics, head home, sleep, and repeat. It was always the same, and there was nothing wrong with that. That was what I kept telling myself. Even though I had to look at my black whistle every day, it meant nothing.

   Eventually, Vio safely returned to Orth with the exception of a fractured arm, bringing with him a few Relics to turn in and stories to tell. He'd told us about his Fourth Layer delves before, and even though he had been on half a dozen at this point, he had so many new things to say each time.

   I couldn't help but be sucked into his stories whenever he told them. Whether it was something as grand as standing among the great stalks that gave the Goblet of Giants its name, or something simple like him talking around the campfire with his teammates at night. I hung onto each and every word as if it was the last thing I would ever hear. And to me, I wouldn't have minded if they were the last things I heard.

   Of course, I didn't want to keep these stories to myself, I had to tell someone. While Llyr heard them, he was naturally more interested in the kinds of flora Vio had encountered. Those specific instances weren't enough for me, and fortunately there was somebody else who was willing to listen.

   "Near the bottom of the Fourth Layer is a field of Eternal Fortunes. Just this sprawling meadows, nothing but the flowers," I recounted. "The place is unnaturally bright for the Fourth Layer, but that just lets you see the flowers even better. Then there's the water pouring from the amagiri stalks, and it's all illuminated by the sunlight. Vio wanted to bring some of the flowers back, but there wasn't enough room for them."

   Aedia listened quietly the entire time I spoke. She leaned forwards with her chin propped on her elbows, a smile spread across her face. She continued smiling like that even when I finished relaying the story.

   "What's with the look?" I asked.

   "It's kinda funny how you always retell those stories like that," she said. "Ya say that like you've been there yourself."

   I really did. Vio's words plus the information from what I'd read was enough for me to paint a vivid picture of things in my mind. It was easy to express it after that. "I do, don't I?" I said.

   She nodded. "It's just like when we were little..." Her smile slowly faded, and she straightened up, albeit with slouched shoulders. "I miss you talkin' like this. You only ever seem to do this whenever you get a new story from Vio," she said quietly. "What happened to your stories?"

   My words caught in my throat, halted by mild shock. I shrugged, casting my gaze to the side. "They... they became less important," I said simply.

   "And I've never understood that," she said.

   I looked back at Aedia. "Because when I start looking at things in the Abyss, I zone out. When I zone out, I leave myself vulnerable or lose track of time. I literally can't afford to waste time, not when I could be finding Relics."

   Now Aedia was frowning. "You sound like Melva when ya say that, and I don't like it," she said. "What happened to the Len who would have begged to have that black whistle?"

   My shock became more defined, almost making my jaw drop. "You're saying that? You, of all people?" I asked incredulously. "I thought you didn't want me to delve."

   "I-I don't, but if you're gonna do it, at least enjoy it! You've been like a walking husk for the past four years, and it scares me even more than you delving does."

   I was more than taken aback. Was that how she saw me? The looks both she and Melva had been giving me, even Vio when I had turned down his offer. "Do you think I wanted to delve like this?" I asked, my words slow and enunciated. "I had to give up becoming a White Whistle because I wanted to make sure we would be okay. And now I'm just... here. Day after day, it's the same thing, but it has to be that way so I know we have enough money!"

   "Now you're sounding like Dad!" Aedia squeaked, her face twisting with worry. "The clinic hasn't been getting the most business, but the pharmacy is doing just fine. We have enough money from that alone to get by every month. That should be fine, right?"

   "And for when you get sick?" I countered.

   "I haven't gotten sick in nearly two months now. Isn't that a good thing?"

   She was right, and I was happy that she hadn't been bound to her bed. But it didn't stop my frustration from turning into anger as I said, "Yes, but what will happen when you do get sick again? It could be something truly bad, and then I'll have to take care of you. I believe Lissy is a promising doctor, but I still wouldn't trust her with you yet, and Syele has her own worries..."

   Aedia gave me an incredulous look. "When did you become this worried?"

   When? It was like something snapped in me then. "I've been worried since the moment I came home from that damn delve!" I shouted. Aedia went silent, her eyes widening. In seconds, my anger became deep, gnawing regret. "I-I need a moment..." I stood up and went to my room before she could say anything else.

   Once inside, I closed the door behind me and began pacing my room. Exercise of any kind was usually enough to calm me when reading couldn't, but I could already tell it wouldn't be enough here. I couldn't believe I'd just done that. I mean, I'd yelled at Aedia for no reason. What was wrong with me? My gaze drifted to the floor, and in doing so, I saw my whistle. I still hadn't taken it off today... I numbly took hold of it, staring at it.

   The longer I stared at the whistle, the more bitter I began to feel. I used to fantasize about the day I would become a Black Whistle. Sometimes I'd even have dreams about it. It'd be a mark of pride, a cause of celebration like Melva had said. Then right after that celebration, I would descend to the Fourth Layer as soon as possible. The Goblet of Giants was more fantastical than anything I'd experienced up until now, and it would've been amazing to see it for myself. Vio's stories weren't enough, stories had never been enough ever since I came to Orth.

   My fingers clenched tightly around the whistle, the edges digging into my palm. For the past four years, I'd done nothing but scrape by on the First Layer, only going further when I wanted a chance of finding higher-grade Relics. The amount of value I'd accumulated was what earned me this whistle, not any genuine effort. It was perfectly serviceable for my situation, smart, even. But for my pride as a Delver, it was ruinous.

   To me, being a Delver meant I was an explorer. Indulging in one's curiosity, throwing it all to the wind to discover, it was why I even wanted to delve in the first place. And what was I doing? Shirking everything that came with being a Delver. But I had to forfeit my curiosity to take care of Aedia. Yet... thinking of that was starting to sound more like an excuse. Thoughts churned in my mind like a whirlpool. It made me want to scream. Instead, I yanked hard on my whistle. The tough string was nothing to me, and I felt it break against my neck.

   "Why am I like this, dammit!" I shouted, throwing the whistle against the ground. It bounced once and skittered across the floor, coming to a stop at the doorway. I stared at the instrument, shaking as I bit my tongue to quell my anger. Damn whistle, damn thoughts, damn curiosity...

   Hours seemed to pass as I stood there, choking on curses I could never hope to speak and fighting tears that stung my eyes. It was likely only a minute or so, since the inevitable occurred as a light knock came at the door. I didn't say anything, and the door opened slowly. Aedia took her time coming in, hesitance in every motion she made.

   "Len? A-are you—" Her foot kicked the whistle a little, enough that it made her look down at it. She was obviously confused, but I had no right to tell her. I took a step back, the backs of my legs colliding with my bed. They gave out then, and I fell down onto the mattress.

   "Leave it," I muttered, "please."

   Her brow furrowed before she picked the whistle up. "It's your black whistle," she said as she brought it over to me. I didn't take it, just sat there until her arm tired, and she placed it on my nightstand. She stood there for a moment, her arms folded defensively. Though her face was stoney, her lip quivered. It broke my heart to see her trying to act strong when she was clearly scared, and it had been my fault.

   "I-I'm sorry, Addy," I said. Words weren't enough for this, but I didn't know what else to do then. "I'm sorry for yelling, and I'm sorry for worrying you so much."

   Aedia sighed and sat beside me. "You're always gonna worry me, th-that's just how I am," she said. "I... know you haven't been happy with how things are, but I didn't think it was this bad."

   "I didn't want you to have to know all this. You already have enough to think about, especially since you began running the clinic," I said. We were treading familiar ground again, but I didn't care. "And it shouldn't be an issue at all. I don't know why it is."

   "Because like you said, you'd given up your dream. But just because you don't think you can become a White Whistle doesn't mean you should give up on delving altogether." She gave me a slight smile. "You can go on a delve to the Fourth Layer, if that's what you really want. I want the old you back, Len."

   I raised a hand to wipe away a stray tear that had escaped my eye, grazing my scars as I did so. "The me who let his curiosity almost get him and his mentor killed?"

   Aedia shook her head. "The you who let his curiosity keep his worries away and used it to make his life more interesting."

   "Interesting" was a funny way of looking at it. "Do you want me to go?" I asked.

   She hesitated, then said, "Well, no, but—"

   "Then I can't," I stated.

   "Forget about me for a second!" she exclaimed. "Do you want to go?"

   I gritted my teeth, two answers desperately fighting against each other. I ended up spitting both out. "I want to see the Fourth Layer. More than that, I-I don't want to risk losing you, I don't want to die! I want to think we'll be okay, that just one trip won't do any harm, but that one trip to the Third Layer was enough for Mother and Father and almost myself. My curiosity cost me so much already, and I don't want it to happen again." I... didn't want to risk paying the price, it was as simple as that.

   Aedia looked down at her hands, her fists clenching her apron. "I know it did. I-I don't plan on dying, but ya gotta make that choice yourself." Her voice was clearly shaking. "A-after all, you've always made the choices yourself."

   I always have. I wrapped an arm around Aedia, holding her close for a few moments as she trembled against me. This hadn't gone anywhere, only worsened things. Why did I have to drag her into this? "Let's stop talking about this tonight, okay?" She wordlessly nodded, and I let her go so she could stand up.

   "'Night," she said softly, and she left the room, closing the door behind her. When I knew she was gone, I buried my face in my hands. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to childishly curl up in a ball and stew in my frustration and sadness. But I couldn't.

   Briefly, I thought about trying to talk to Melva about this, but that was shot down within moments. I already knew how she would respond: she would follow me no matter what. That woman seemed ready to follow me to the ends of the earth. While I knew she saw me as family, we both knew what was down there. Yet she was willing to accompany me...

   With a sigh, I stood and made my way to my dresser. For once, I had no desire to read or do anything of the sort. Instead, I just got ready for bed. Before I turned out the lights, I took one last look at my whistle. I couldn't stand to leave it in that state, so I re-tied the string, knotting it as tightly as I could. It deserved to look presentable.

   The next day was a special one. It was the one day a week I allowed myself to take off. Most of the time I spent it reading or helping Aedia around the clinic. There were some jobs I knew she and Lissy could always use help with. Today, I did neither of those things. I admittedly didn't want to be around Aedia all day after what happened last night, so I picked up the list of what we needed from the market that week and set out into the streets.

   As I browsed the market stalls and shops, my mind wouldn't stop buzzing. Admitting what I had last night was like unearthing a nest of stinging insects that kept gouging at me over and over. The lively din of the people around me did nothing to lift my spirits like it usually did, and it was difficult to not grimace.

   I desperately wanted to feel excited at the prospect of delving to the Fourth Layer. After all, Aedia did say I could go. But there was her hesitance combined with a sickly gnawing in the pit of my stomach that only seemed to worsen the longer I thought about this. I knew what it was, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. The moment I did, everything would come down altogether.

   There was nothing spice-related on the list, but I still decided to pay Morgan's a visit. Hopefully Llyr wouldn't be delving today. When I opened the shop door, a corner of my mouth lifted into a smile when I saw my friend stocking a shelf. While he hadn't noticed me come in, his aunt had. She was running the front counter and greeted me with a smile.

   "Hey there, Len!" she said warmly, and I waved to her. I'd only met her along with Llyr's parents a couple times, but she was nice and definitely outgoing, far more so than her nephew and his parents. Her loud greeting was what pulled Llyr's attention away from the shelf. He glanced at me and looked away a second later, though I could still see he was happy to see me.

   "Oh, good afternoon, Len," he said. "I always forget you take this day off. Is there something you need?"

   I shook my head. "Actually, no. I just wanted to come by and talk for a few minutes," I said. "If you have the time to spare, that is. Since there's two of you here today, you must be busy."

   Llyr gave me a quick, apologetic look. "It was shipment day, so that's why I'm here and not delving. And I'd like to talk with you, but I need to finish stocking these first," he said, only for his aunt to interject.

   "I can finish that up for you," she said. "You've been working since before I got here, and you haven't taken a break. Besides, it's not like we're beating off customers with a broom."

   Llyr cringed, his face flushing. "I-if you don't mind, then I'd appreciate that," he said. "Thank you, Auntie." He gestured for me to follow him, hurrying into the back room as I gave his aunt a quick, awkward apology.

   "You're fine," she reassured me. "It's either you talk with him or he buries his nose in his sketchbooks when we're done for the day. You're doing us a favor," she said with a wink. That was a relief to hear.

   I should have been more than used to the mess in Llyr's home by now, but I couldn't help but tense up briefly every time I stepped into his kitchen. He took a moment to clear two chairs this time, telling me I could leave my bags wherever I wanted. He must have not seen me leave them downstairs with his aunt, because I didn't want to risk losing anything in the clutter.

   "Do you want me to get you anything as well? It feels awkward to only have food for myself," he said. Though I didn't want to impose, I also didn't want to turn down his offer, so I agreed.

   We chatted as Llyr put everything together, about our work, what was going on with our families, and other unimportant things. Small talk was among some of my favorite talk, and it was nice to think about other things. Well, at least try to. Soon Llyr handed me a small plate of slightly mishappen rice balls.

   "They're sort of messy, but I made them, so what else can you expect?" he said sheepishly.

   Admittedly the looks weren't the best, but the taste made up for it. Llyr was a much better cook than he gave himself credit for. The enwrapped fish was even enriched with a little onion powder I knew came from the shop. "They're good. You don't always have to sell yourself so short," I said. Like I expected, Llyr's face flushed, but that didn't stop him from smiling.

   "Can I say I'm glad you came by today? You hadn't visited all week, so I thought you'd forgotten." He quickly shoved a rice ball in his mouth. His next words were partially muffled by the rice, though I could mostly understand them. "Tha jush makes me shound overattashed..."

   "It doesn't," I again reassured him. "It's good to know you've been doing well, though."

   He shrugged, swallowing. "Mostly. With how it's been so cloudy these past couple of days, my Eternal Fortunes are starting to wilt a little. They always perk back up quickly though, so I'm not too worried." I could feel his stare on me as we both concentrated on our food. "Ya sheem like there's somethin' else on your mind," he said through another full mouth. A pause, then, "Would you like to talk about it?"

   Did I? Again, Llyr knew nothing of what had led to me feeling like how I did now. He wouldn't understand. But perhaps that was what I needed... "Why do you delve, Llyr?" I asked.

   This seemed to catch him off-guard, and he thought for a moment. "Well, to start, there's so little knowledge about the Abyss published. Botany will be my passion regardless, but I hope to attract the eye of the guild one day so they can maybe publish my work. So much information is only spread through word of mouth, and for good reason. Still, it needs to be documented. That's why I delve."

   "If someone told you that they didn't want you to delve, would you still do it?"

   He nodded. "Yes, I would. It was easier to convince my parents since they met on a delve before they retired, but you already know that."

   "So that doesn't mean you're... afraid of delving," I said.

   "Of course I'm afraid of delving," Llyr said, surprised. "At any moment, I could die. People tell me all the time that I fixate on things when I delve and ignore everything else. It sent me off a cliff once, and I snapped my arm because of it." His hand unconsciously went to his right arm, gripping it firmly. "I hardly realize I do it half the time, but I love studying the Abyss' plantlife too much to not delve." He briefly met my eyes to show his confusion. "What does it have to do with you?"

   "Addy and I had a bit of a fight last night," I said. Llyr's eyes widened, and I added, "It was about making a delve to the Fourth Layer."

   Llyr started to nervously twist his hair around his fingers. "And what happened?" he asked tentatively.

   "There was no conclusion." I took a breath, letting it out slowly. "The reason why I asked why you delved was because of this. I delve because I believe it's a Delver's job to explore. It's not about the money or fame, it's about seeing the sights and bringing them back for others in the forms of stories. But of course... I can't do that."

   "Because Aedia doesn't want you to?"

   "Yes, but also no. I-I... I don't, yet I..." I forced myself to stop, noticing that Llyr was becoming visibly nervous by my stuttering. His whole hand looked like it was enwrapped in his hair by now with how much he was twisting it.

  "You don't want to?"

   "It's so complicated," I said, my voice breaking as I did.

   Llyr was silent, letting his hands drop into his lap. Quietly, he asked, "Th-then can I ask why that is?"

   I hesitated despite myself. This was what I got for bringing it up. Still, it was about time he learned this, and I'd essentially walked into having to explain it. After taking a moment to steel myself, I started with, "Four years ago, I had just become a Moon Whistle. Of course, I wanted to make a delve to the Third Layer, and I did so with Melva and Vio..."

   I proceeded to tell him everything, from the moment we descended into those tunnels to the moment I found out my parents had passed. I was fighting tears by the end of it and thankfully holding them back, though it still didn't stop my voice from trembling as I finished my explanation.

   Llyr's hand had moved from his lap to his mouth, and his eyes had grown wide. "That's why... I-I'm so sorry," he muttered.

   "I can't risk going through that again, I just can't." The sick feeling had returned. I pushed the remainder of my food away, having lost my appetite. "That's the reason why I was asking you those questions."

   Again Llyr was silent, but it seemed like he was thinking this time. "I don't think my thoughts will be worth anything, but I-I'll say this. It sounds like because of what happened along with constantly being around Aedia's fears afterwards, you've inadvertently scared yourself into not wanting to go."

   The sickness in me lurched, and I swallowed hard. I was scared of delving. Said aloud, it sounded ludicrous, even if that was the case. I was afraid to pay, therefore I was afraid of delving. "I'm not—Okay, yes, I'm afraid!" I admitted. "It sounds like it's so beautiful down there, and I truly want to see it, more than anything. But I'm afraid that my curiosity might truly get me killed this time. I-I don't even know how it's possible for me to feel that way."

   "You nearly lost your mentor and your eye, and then you come back to find everything in your life torn apart," Llyr said. "Of course it makes sense you would be scared."

   "Addy has tried to help me, but I can't stop having nightmares about that delve and my parents. I-I haven't gone back to the Third Layer since because I know what's in those tunnels." I sounded like a child saying that aloud, but it was how I felt. "Yes, I know I couldn't have prevented some things that happened, but I could have chosen not to go into that tunnel. I wouldn't have gotten myself and Melva trapped, I wouldn't have gotten hurt, and I could have made it home sooner. It was my damn curiosity. Always has been..."

   Llyr was quiet, seemingly debating something in his mind. Then, timidly, he said, "What makes you think you being here could have saved your dad?" He visibly tensed but continued to speak. "From how it sounds, what your dad passed from wasn't anything your mom or sister knew about. They surely spoke with other doctors about illnesses and such, like how my parents talk with other store owners. While another doctor might have known, they easily couldn't have as well. There's just too much uncertainty with those kinds of things."

   I couldn't help but think about what he said there. According to Aedia's research, there had been other deaths on the victims' birthdays before and after Father passed, though that was over a period of ten years. With how many people there were in Orth now, it was almost expected for there to be coincidences like those.

   "Wh-what I'm trying to say is that there's a likely chance you couldn't have saved your dad no matter what," Llyr said. "Some guilt should be expected because of that, but it shouldn't eat away at you for so long, not to the point that it's affecting you like this. It truly seems like you want to do this, and you should, even if it's just once."

   "And what if my curiosity yet again comes back to bite me?" I asked.

   Llyr tilted his head, confused. "How will you know your curiosity will fail you again?"

   "I don't know, Addy doesn't know. And that's... scary," I said.

   "But if you stay up here, how can you know how to handle everything deeper down without experiencing it yourself?" Llyr pointed out. "Curiosity's what pulled the first Delvers down, and they wouldn't have learned without it."

   It was like I had been punched in the chest then. Llyr sounded almost exactly like I had when I was younger, arguing my case to keep delving to my parents. I couldn't believe I'd let myself get to the other side of that argument.

   "My own curiosity is why I want to go further," Llyr said. "Now, do you want to go further?" 

   "More than anything," I said instantly.

   "Then do it. I'd be happy to try and help you accomplish that, if you want." My brows lifted as he met my gaze, and he smiled. "As soon as I get my black whistle, let's both go on the next guild-sanctioned Fourth Layer delve. I don't know if I'll get it next week or next month, but still, we should do it together."

   I appreciated the offer, but I couldn't help but be curious (irony) about why Llyr made the offer in the first place. "Why with me, though?"

   Llyr's face grew redder than I'd ever seen it before. "I-I said I'd need help carrying up specimens I want to study, and I already have a feeling nobody else will want to help me since they'd rather carry up Relics. Also, I want to spend more time with you. I-I meant it when I said I'm happy that you stop by, and I've been glad ever since you came back to tell me about that potato soup you tried to make."

   "The potatoes weren't crunchy, and that's all that matters," I said. And I didn't think he felt that strongly about me as friends; it made me feel a bit bad for not feeling the same way.

   "I still wish you brought the leftovers to me, I would've appreciated them," Llyr said. I casually rolled my eyes at that comment, finally able to smile then. So I was really agreeing to this, I'd be making a delve to the Fourth Layer. After fighting it for so, so long, something like relief came over me. Because of course I had to give in to my curiosity, no matter how much I struggled against it. It was what brought me so far, after all, and it would continue to carry me.

———————————~*~———————————
I have more fanart from AaronThePrime on Amino, this time of Melva with her new design! As shown in the last chapter, from now on, I'll just feature any artwork that's made either by myself or others as the chapter media. But I've never gotten so much art for a story, and it honestly makes me tear up a little knowing that even with how small this story is compared to my others, it's left such an impact on those who do read it that it warrants such amazing artwork being made. Thank you all so much!