I remember opening up to my youth pastor about it, and I remember walking up to him, and not being able to speak because I was so embarrassed. I remember wanting to just turn around (because that wouldn't have look weird lol), because I was so embarrassed. I just stood in front of him, in silence, while crying...because I was so embarrassed. I totally get where you're coming from! It was difficult to be open about it, because sexual sin (in my opinion) is so incredibly private, and for some reason labeled as the "worst" sin (***But it's not, all sin is equal to God). It was uncomfortable in the moment, but it was so worth it. Being open with them made the journey a lot easier, and honestly possible.

Community is key. The longer you keep this to yourself, the longer you're going to stay enslaved to this.

It's kind of like deciding to go running every morning. Personally, I hate running. So when I say I'm going to run it's really easy for me to just skip it, and put it off until the next day. But when I have a running buddy, it's much harder to skip because I know that I'm not only letting myself down, but also the person who was looking forward to running with me. And if my running buddy/ accountability partner is a good one, then they won't let me skip out. They'll push me, encourage me, and not let me give in. It works the same way with sexual sin, and honestly any addiction/ habit.

When other people know, you have people to turn to when you're weak and/or mess up, and you also have people to help hold you accountable. There was a time when I would constantly go through cycles of being "clean", and cycles of viewing porn. I'd go maybe 3 weeks free, but in a moment of weakness I'd slip up. There were times that I'd just give into my temptation because I had no one to encourage me, and I knew that I'd only be letting myself down...and that wasn't a big deal to me. With an accountability partner none of that would have happened. Well occasionally because no one is perfect, but it'd be less frequent, and much more difficult.

This Christian walk is not easy. It's actually far from that...and it's for that reason that God never intended for us to do it alone. The church isn't a building, it's a body of people; it's a community designed to follow Jesus as a whole, and to build each other up in their walks.

If you get anything from this, GET IN COMMUNITY. It can be uncomfortable at first, but in the long run it's so worth it. Whether it's your parents, aunt, youth pastor, or a mature Christian; LET SOMEONE IN.

Here are some freedom tips for you 😊👍

[] IT STARTS IN YOUR HEAD.

It all starts with a thought, which gets entertained, and then acted on... leaving you looking at something you shouldn't be viewing. Simple solution: cut that thought off early. I know it's easier said than done (believe me), but it really is a slippery slope. Slippery slopes are dangerous because everything just happens so fast! But the good thing about them is that you can prevent sliding down by just not getting on the slope to begin with. Does that analogy make sense lol? I hope so xD

Here's a link to a post I did on it! :D http://fightingforpurity101.tumblr.com/post/108259913582/fighting-mental-temptations

[] HAVE QUIET TIMES

This one is soooooooo important! I've found that on days I skip quiet times I'm so much weaker, and vulnerable to falling to temptation...and 60% of the time end up doing so. Spending time with the Lord gives me strength like no other...and idk about you, but I need the Lord's strength to beat this thing daily. And even if you're not dealing with temptation quiet are still a must. The Lord reveals so much, and it's one of the best ways to be close to Him.

Here's a link to a post I did on quiet times, and how/why to have them :) http://fightingforpurity101.tumblr.com/post/107816068322/quiet-time-tips

[] FLEE &GET OUT OF THERE ASAP

Here's a link to a post I did on fleeing temptation, instead of trying to stand up to it...because that's when we're most likely to fall to it. http://fightingforpurity101.tumblr.com/post/114846215577/get-out-asap

[] Remember (but not abuse) His unconditional love and forgiveness

Here's a link to a post I did on it :D http://fightingforpurity101.tumblr.com/post/114276612987/unconditional-love-forgiveness

[] Sex drives are from God

Having a sex drive doesn't make you a pervert...it makes you human. It's not having a sex drive that's bad, it's the way that you handle it that can get messy.

Here's a link to a post I did on it! :) http://fightingforpurity101.tumblr.com/post/113628176502/sex-drives-are-god-given-and-can-be-managed

[] Properly feed yourself so you don't binge later

Here's a link to post I did on it! http://fightingforpurity101.tumblr.com/post/138294801192/properly-feeding-yourself-prevents-binge-eating 

Some of my favorite resources!

Here's one of my favorite spoken words. X It's amazing, and always lifts me up. Whenever I feel tempted I listen to this and I always feel encouraged, and able to flee temptation

"Sincerely Freedom" by Nick Vitellaro :

A book called "No stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction" by Marnie C. Ferree

A book called "Every young woman's battle" by Shannon Ethridge and Steve Arterburn

"You don't miss a thing" by Bethel 

"Start over" by Flame ft. NF 

"Mercy" by Amanda Cook 

"How can it be" by Lauren Daigle 

I recieved a tumblr ask on this topic, so I went through my archive and pulled together some of my favorite sources. I think there's a lot of great stuff in here, so I wanted to share it with you all as well. X I know there's a lot of stuff in this post, so it's probably a bit overwhelming, but I truly believe it'll all help!! I love you, I'm here for you, and I'm praying for you! Lots of love, and God bless. X