Ima annoy you people with more incorrect quotes and now I'm doing Danganronpa v1. 

The characters I'm doing are: Naegi, Kirigiri, Monokuma, Junko Enoshima, Toko Fukawa, and Celeste 

(If the pronouns are they/them thats what the generator does and I'm too lazy to fix it)

*The squad is over at Naegi's house*
Kirigiri: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Naegi: ... N-No...
Naegi, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Kirigiri, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Monokuma: I see a-
Naegi, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Kirigiri: Oh, well I-
Naegi: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Naegi, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Junko Enoshima: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Toko Fukawa: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Naegi: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Naegi: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Naegi, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Naegi: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Celeste, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Naegi:
Kirigiri: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Naegi:
Naegi, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Naegi: Thanks fam!
Kirigiri: oh no
Monokuma: *cries* I love you too
Junko Enoshima: Sounds fake but okay
Toko Fukawa: *A flustered mess*
Celeste: can i get a refund

(God the accuracy 😂😂)

Naegi: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Kirigiri: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Naegi: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Monokuma: Actually I did the math, Kirigiri would have $225, not $0.15.
Kirigiri: Dude I'm right here....
Junko Enoshima: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Naegi: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Junko Enoshima: Sorry I only have a dollar
Naegi: :(
Monokuma: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Kirigiri would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Junko Enoshima: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Monokuma: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Toko Fukawa: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Monokuma: Apply juice to what
Celeste: Directly to the forehead
Kirigiri: Great chat everyone

*The squad right before Naegi's wedding*
Kirigiri: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Monokuma: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Junko Enoshima: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Toko Fukawa: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Celeste, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

(The fact that Junko and Monokuma are going to Naegi's wedding is just astonishing. Also, Kiri get to your own wedding!)

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Naegi: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Kirigiri: ...I did. I broke it.
Naegi: No. No you didn't. Monokuma?
Monokuma: Don't look at me. Look at Junko.
Junko Enoshima: What?! I didn't break it.
Monokuma: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Junko Enoshima: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Monokuma: Suspicious.
Junko Enoshima: No, it's not!
Toko Fukawa: If it matters, probably not, but Celeste was the last one to use it.
Celeste: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Toko Fukawa: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Celeste: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Fukawa!
Kirigiri: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Naegi.
Naegi: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Toko Fukawa: Naegi... Monokuma's been awfully quiet.
Monokuma: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Naegi, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Naegi: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Naegi:
Naegi: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

(this shouldn't be this accurate)

Naegi: Rules are made to be broken.
Kirigiri: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Monokuma: Uh, piñatas.
Junko Enoshima: Glow sticks.
Toko Fukawa: Karate boards.
Celeste: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Naegi: Rules.
Kirigiri:

(Kirigiri just would)

Naegi: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Kirigiri: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Monokuma: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Junko Enoshima: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Toko Fukawa: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Celeste:
Celeste: I have emotional scars.

(Wait.....where did Monokuma get a hair dryer???)

Naegi: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Kirigiri: Okay, but what is updog?
Monokuma: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Junko Enoshima: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Toko Fukawa: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Celeste: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Naegi: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Junko Enoshima: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Monokuma: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Kirigiri: What's a henway??
Naegi: Oh, about five pounds.

(Kiri just got played)

Naegi, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Kirigiri: Hey.
Monokuma: Hi.
Junko Enoshima: Hello.
Toko Fukawa: Hey!
Naegi: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Celeste: We were out of Doritos.

Naegi: Hewwo.
Kirigiri: Hihiiiiii!
Monokuma: Greetings, Humans.
Toko Fukawa: Three kinds of people.
Junko Enoshima: I want pudding.
Naegi: Four kinds of people.
Celeste: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Toko Fukawa: Five kinds of people.

(This is too accurate)

Naegi: I CAN'T DO IT!
Kirigiri, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Naegi: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Monokuma: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Naegi:
Naegi: I appreciate it,
Naegi: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Junko Enoshima: Naegi-
Naegi: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Toko Fukawa: Naegi we gotta-
Naegi: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Naegi: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Naegi, motioning to Celeste: NOT FUCKING THIS

(switching websites cause why not)

Naegi: From now on we will be using code names.
Naegi: You can address me as Eagle One.
Naegi: Toko Fukawa is "been there done that".
Naegi: Kirigiri is "currently doing that".
Naegi: Celeste is "it happened once in a dream".
Naegi: Monokuma is "if I had to pick a dude/gal/enby".
Naegi: And Junko Enoshima is..
Naegi: Eagle Two
Junko Enoshima: Oh thank god.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Celeste : So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Kirigiri: ...I did. I broke it.
Celeste : No. No you didn't. Naegi?
Naegi: Don't look at me. Look at Monokuma.
Monokuma: What?! I didn't break it.
Naegi: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Monokuma: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Naegi: Suspicious.
Monokuma: No, it's not!
Toko Fukawa: If it matters, probably not, but Junko Enoshima was the last one to use it.
Junko Enoshima: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Toko Fukawa: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Junko Enoshima: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Toko Fukawa!
Naegi: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Celeste .
Celeste : No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Toko Fukawa: Celeste ... Naegi's been awfully quiet.
Naegi: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Celeste , being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Celeste : I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Celeste :
Celeste : Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Toko Fukawa: Stressed.
Junko Enoshima: Depressed.
Celeste : Possessed.
Monokuma: Obsessed.
Kirigiri: Impressed.
Naegi: Chicken breast.
Everyone: ...What?
Naegi: I just wanted to join in.

(Naegi 😂😂😂)

Toko Fukawa, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.
Junko Enoshima: But Fukawa, we don't smoke.
Toko Fukawa: Cut the crap, Junko. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.
Toko Fukawa: *points at Kirigiri* One! *points at Naegi* Two! *points at Celeste * Three! *points at Monokuma* Four! *points at Junko Enoshima* Five!
Toko Fukawa: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!
Monokuma: *puts a cigarrette in Toko Fukawa's hand*
Toko Fukawa: Thank you. ...Light?
The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

(TOO ACCURATE)

Toko Fukawa: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
Monokuma, watching Celeste screaming, Naegi trying to set a sleeping Kirigiri on fire, and Junko Enoshima choking on air: I don't know either.

Junko Enoshima: I CAN'T DO IT!
Kirigiri, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Junko Enoshima: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Naegi: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Junko Enoshima:
Junko Enoshima: I appreciate it,
Junko Enoshima: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Monokuma: Junko-
Junko Enoshima: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Celeste : Junko we gotta-
Junko Enoshima: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Junko Enoshima: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Junko Enoshima, motioning to Toko Fukawa: NOT FUCKING THIS!

Toko Fukawa: The floor is lava!
Naegi: *helps Junko Enoshima onto the counter*
Celeste : *kicks Kirigiri off the sofa*
Monokuma: *lays on the floor*
Toko Fukawa: ...Are you okay?
Monokuma: No.

(Celeste would do that tho)

Junko Enoshima: Christmas lights?
Celeste : Check.
Monokuma: Thermos of hot cocoa?
Celeste : Check.
Naegi: Santa suits?
Celeste : Check.
Kirigiri: Shovel?
Celeste : Check.
Toko Fukawa: Alibi and bail money?
Celeste : Check- wait, WHAT?!

Monokuma: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Monokuma: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.
Kirigiri: Socks are Feetie Heaties.
Junko Enoshima: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.
Naegi: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.
Celeste : Stamps are Lickie Stickies.
Toko Fukawa: I hate you guys so much.

Kirigiri: Is it still visible? Where Fukawa slapped me?
Junko Enoshima: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.
Monokuma: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.
Celeste : A palm reader could tell Fukawa's future by looking at your face.
Naegi: The phrase 'talk to teh hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.
Kirigiri: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

Celeste : Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.
Toko Fukawa: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...
Kirigiri: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Monokuma: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
Naegi: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Junko Enoshima: Mental stability, my old friend!
Celeste : Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Naegi: When do you usually go to sleep?
Kirigiri: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Celeste : Monokuma is playing hard to get.
Celeste : Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

(Ultimate Gambler y'all)

Naegi: What do we think of Junko?
*pause*
Monokuma: *sighs* Nice pal.
Toko Fukawa: I think she's gay.

(Junko is strange. No gay vibes or straight or bi or pan or omni or ace or aro or trans BUT SHE STILL HAS LGBTQ+ VIBES)

Naegi: Ugh, there's always that weak bitch in the group who isn't down with murder.
Naegi: *glares at Toko Fukawa*
Toko Fukawa: Well, sorry I have morals!

(Until Sho comes out)

Celeste : We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Toko Fukawa: ... Your what?
Celeste : My friends.
Kirigiri: is she saying "friends"?
Junko Enoshima: I think they're being sarcastic.
Monokuma: No, no, no, this is delirium, she's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Celeste! All of your friends are in this room.

Naegi: I'm allergic to death.

Toko Fukawa: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
Junko Enoshima: Opposite over hypotenuse.
Junko Enoshima: Dipshit.

Celeste : Hey, I see those leaves, where are you from?
Kirigiri: Illinois.
Celeste : AAYYYE, I KNEW IT! ME TOO!
Toko Fukawa: Did you just identify a state by looking at its leaves.

Junko Enoshima: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?
Celeste , sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

Toko Fukawa: Hi-
Junko Enoshima: Leave before there's a terrible misunderstanding between my foot and your ass.

Monokuma: If we lose, you're out of the will.
Celeste : I was in the will?

Kirigiri: What happened?!
Junko Enoshima: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Kirigiri: Sh-short??
Junko Enoshima: Shit's fucked.
Kirigiri: Okay, long.
Junko Enoshima: Shit's very fucked.

Teacher: Your child was in a fight.
Toko Fukawa: Oh no, that's terrible!
Monokuma: Did they win?

Toko Fukawa: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Toko Fukawa: And I started thinking.
Toko Fukawa: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Toko Fukawa: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Junko Enoshima: Are you ok?

Congratulations! You've stumbled upon a secret message from me (the programmer of this generator): Remember to drink water. And also take your meds if you have those and are supposed to take them. Also, have a nice day if that's a possibility.

Junko Enoshima: Why doesn't Celeste find me sexy when I bite my lip?
Kirigiri: What do you look like when you bite your lip?
Junko Enoshima: *bites lip*
Kirigiri: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

Celeste , holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?
Toko Fukawa: Tea.
Celeste : Wrong. It's coffee.

Naegi: All of your existences are confusing.
The Squad: How so?
Naegi: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

Celeste : I warned you.
Celeste : I'm perfect.

Kirigiri: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Celeste : But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Kirigiri: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Celeste : Is it working?

Junko Enoshima: STOP!
*Everyone stops*
Junko Enoshima: wAiT a MiNuTe-

Kirigiri: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?
Monokuma: A pet WHAT?!
Toko Fukawa: William Snakespeare.

Junko Enoshima: What the fuck is wrong with you??
Monokuma: What? No good morning?
Junko Enoshima: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

Celeste: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer.
Kirigiri: You're right, Celeste.. Violence can't be the answer.
Celeste: Correct, Kirigiri. Now, on to the next lesso-
Kirigiri: Violence is the question.
Kirigiri: And the answer is yes!
Celeste: Kirigiri, no!!

Toko Fukawa: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!
Toko Fukawa: *sprays hairspray in their mouth*
Toko Fukawa: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Celeste, to Kirigiri: We had a date!
Celeste: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

Naegi: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego.
Naegi: My facebook photo is a landscape.

Kirigiri: You're charged with.....breaking into a pet store?
Monokuma: I thought the animals might be lonely.

Naegi: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?
Kirigiri: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.

Junko Enoshima: I'm very scary.
Monokuma: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.
Junko Enoshima: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.
Monokuma: And small.
Junko Enoshima:
Junko Enoshima: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

Junko Enoshima: Naegi, remember when you said you weren't going to interfere with my love life?
Naegi: No, that doesn't sound like me at all.

Kirigiri: Well, Celeste and I finally did it!
The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*
Kirigiri: That's right... We kissed!

*Toko Fukawa sends more than 5 messages in a row*
Naegi: I ain't reading all that.
Naegi: I'm happy for you tho.
Naegi: Or sorry that happened.

Toko Fukawa: I am in charge of this disaster!
Celeste: I have a name, you know.

Kirigiri: We need to distract these guys.
Toko Fukawa: Leave it to me.
Toko Fukawa: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Junko Enoshima & Monokuma: *immediately begin arguing*

Celeste: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.
Monokuma: Cool.
Celeste: Do you know who Joe is?
Monokuma: JOE MAMA!
Junko Enoshima, not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

Monokuma: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.
Junko Enoshima: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That's not hate it's just a fact.

Junko Enoshima, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
Celeste: Toko Fukawa's in the kitchen.

Naegi: Hey Monokuma, I've got an idea for how to solve this.
Monokuma, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah?
Naegi: Wh- No! That's not the idea, Monokuma!

Monokuma: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.
Toko Fukawa: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.
Junko Enoshima: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.
Kirigiri: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

Kirigiri: Monokuma! I thought you were dead!
Monokuma: No, just in deep cover.
Kirigiri: ...But it was an open casket.
Monokuma: It was very deep.

Naegi, Entering Toko Fukawa's room: Monokuma did it again.
Toko Fukawa: Peace disturbance?
Naegi: What no-
Toko Fukawa: Arson..?
Naegi: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-
Toko Fukawa: uh....Attempted murder?
Naegi: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

Junko Enoshima: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Naegi: You sleep with a teddybear.
Junko Enoshima: He's my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

Toko Fukawa: *speaking Spanish*
Junko Enoshima: I know, I know.
Celeste: You speak Spanish?
Junko Enoshima: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Toko Fukawa speaks.

Celeste: I like your new pants!
Junko Enoshima: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Celeste: I'd like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Junko Enoshima: The store can't just give away clothes for free.
Celeste: Thats's... not what I meant.
Junko Enoshima: That's a terrible way to run a business, Celeste.

Celeste: I'm genuinely surprised you haven't gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.
Junko Enoshima: Nat 20 Charmisma.
Celeste: That is NOT how that works-

Kirigiri: What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Naegi: Burn the house down.
Kirigiri: And what did you do?
Naegi: I made dinner.
Kirigiri:
Naegi:
Kirigiri:
Naegi: And burnt the house down.

Junko Enoshima: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Naegi: We're chopsticks!
Junko Enoshima: Well... that's cute!
Junko Enoshima: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Kirigiri: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

Celeste: Can I have some water?
Junko Enoshima: *starts chugging their water bottle*
Junko Enoshima: *chokes from drinking too fast*
Junko Enoshima: *spills water all over themself*
Junko Enoshima, coughing: I don't have any water.

Toko Fukawa, smugly, after security arrives to escort Kirigiri and Celeste out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out?
Kirigiri, in defeat: Let's go.
Celeste: Wait.
Kirigiri: What?
Celeste: I'd kinda like to be carried out...

Junko Enoshima: I am your queen, long may I reign!
Kirigiri: Well I didn't vote for you!
Junko Enoshima: You don't vote for queens.
Kirigiri: Well how'd you become queen then?
Junko Enoshima: Celeste of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Junko Enoshima, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your queen.
Kirigiri: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Kirigiri: Toko Fukawa-
Toko Fukawa: *sighs* Monokuma used to call me Toko Fukawa...
Kirigiri: ...Because it's your fucking name.

Toko Fukawa: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter?
Junko Enoshima: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes.
Monokuma: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

Junko Enoshima: *slams books down in front of Toko Fukawa*
Junko Enoshima: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It's gonna be a long night.
Toko Fukawa: You could of said literally anything else.
Junko Enoshima: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.
Toko Fukawa: I'm going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won't win. I realize this now.

Neagi: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Toko Fukawa , Kirigiri, & Junko Enoshima: Okay.
Neagi: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Toko Fukawa : Bold of you to assume I have money.
Kirigiri: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Junko Enoshima: Bold of you to assume I can die.

Celeste : Can we go out to get icecream?
Kirigiri: Did you ask Neagi?
Celeste : They said no.
Kirigiri: Then why did you ask me?
Celeste : They're not the boss of you.
Kirigiri, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Toko Fukawa : Is this your plan B?
Neagi: Technically, this is plan P.
Toko Fukawa : Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Neagi: Yes, but I marry Monokuma in plan M.
Monokuma: I like plan M.

Neagi, walking into Toko Fukawa and Celeste 's bedroom in the middle of the night: I had a bad dream.
Toko Fukawa : What was it about?
Celeste : No, don't ask them that!
Toko Fukawa : Why not?
Celeste : Cause they'll answer!

Junko Enoshima: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!
Neagi: Oh-? Even more humiliating than-
Junko Enoshima: We are not doing this!

Junko Enoshima: Who the fuck-
Celeste : Language!
Junko Enoshima: Whom the fuck-
Celeste : No.

Neagi: Kirigiri... How do I begin to explain Kirigiri?
Toko Fukawa : Kirigiri is flawless.
Monokuma: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Junko Enoshima: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Celeste : One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Celeste : I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Kirigiri: A doll.
Monokuma: A cinnamon roll.
Toko Fukawa : A sweetheart.
Celeste :
Celeste : ...stop it.

Toko Fukawa : Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

Junko Enoshima: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Kirigiri periodically send me texts saying 'we need to talk.'
Junko Enoshima: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

Neagi: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Neagi: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Toko Fukawa : What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?
Neagi: Ominous positivity.

Toko Fukawa , texting Neagi: Hey do you like anyone?
Neagi: Yeah you
Toko Fukawa : Oh, I'm sorry we're just friends
Neagi: *Yeah, you?
Neagi: Oh haha sorry lol
Toko Fukawa : *dies inside*

Kirigiri: Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.

Kirigiri: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?
Junko Enoshima: IT.
Toko Fukawa : Annabelle.
Celeste : Paranormal Activity.
Monokuma: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

Celeste : I'm proud to say I've come over my fear of ghosts!
Neagi: Eyy, that's the spirit!
Celeste : *gasps* whErE???!!!??

Toko Fukawa : Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.
Junko Enoshima, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Celeste : What's your favorite color?
Neagi: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.
Celeste : How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?
Neagi: My favorite color is pink.

Neagi & Junko Enoshima: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*
Neagi: We need an adult!
Junko Enoshima: Neagi, you are an adult!
Neagi: We need an adultier adult! Get Monokuma!

Junko Enoshima, texting Neagi: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater...
Neagi′s phone, auto-replying: I'm driving right now–I'll get back to you later.
*Later*
Neagi, texting back: Fuck you.

Kirigiri: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
Junko Enoshima: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

Neagi: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?
Monokuma: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*
Neagi: Aww, it's a love not for Toko Fukawa ?
Monokuma: No-
Neagi: *opens it*
Neagi:
Monokuma:
Neagi: I can't read this.