Yeah she's alright.

She's the only person I would call my friend. I've known her since we were 3 and to be honest, if that wasn't the case, she would probably abandon me, as we have nothing in common.

She's hot, I'm not. I'm a genius, she's not. She has other friends, I don't.

No I'm not jealous, I am brilliant, but sometimes I wish I could be a bit more like Isla. Then maybe others would like me. I wouldn't want to change who I am, because I am wonderful but I don't know, there's just something that she has that I'd like.

I don't remember life without her, she's the sister that I never had. It's partly because, I've known her for so long and because I moved in with her for a couple of months, after the divorce.

Pete and Mina are like an extra set of parents. They were the lucky 20%! They met at university and have been together ever since, now complete with three children: Malcolm (Cole), Lorna and Isla.

The five of them are my family, not that waste of space, biological family. They supported me through the tough times. Where were my real family? Oh yeah, my Mum was sofa surfing, after her release from the cells. Never once did she contact me. At least Dad acknowledged me, but he was far more interested in starting his new life with Sara.

Yet, Isla's family took me in with open arms. They put up a mattress on Isla's floor, gave me room to study, play my music and grow as a person. That was the family I needed.

From a young age Cole was the idealist big brother figure. No one touched his little sisters, he would always be there to protect them. Despite not actually being his sister he still treated me as though I was.

Even I have to credit his insaine ability to play the guitar. He is better than I am, but in my defence he is three years older than me. We have spent many years picking up our guitars and playing together. He possesses a beautiful voice, which harmonies nicely with my own. He is also an amazing songwriter - one area of talent I just don't have. You can see why he's at Oxford University reading music.

I love Cole, I really do, sometimes I wonder if he's more important to me than Isla. Don't get me wrong Isla is a good friend but we share nothing but childhood memories.

With Cole I have those memories, but we also have the future. We have our music, and his brains are not far from my own. I could see myself drifting from Isla in our adulthood but I cannot imagine life without Cole.

Despite him being older and miles away at Uni, he still makes time for me. We often video call while he's away, keeping tabs on one another, plus we can try out some new musical ideas he has.

***

Whoops. I was dedicating this chapter to Isla, but Cole appears to have taken over. I'm sorry but Isla just isn't in my league, whereas Cole is.

I haven't given Isla enough credit, she does also possess musical ability. She is a very good flautist, who does sometimes join in with our musical conflab. However, a flute is a very unique instrument and doesn't always work well with the songs Cole composes.

And my childhood memories with her are very fond. Imitating Peppa, while jumping in muddy puddles. Dressing up, travelling to far away magical kingdoms. Having top secret midnight feast at our 'stay awake-overs.' Going to discos. Learning to skip, dance, sing. Messing around in our mums' make-up.  Competing at inter-school sporting events - usually losing. Worrying about our first exams. Saying goodbye to our primary school. Moving to different schools. Keeping in touch. Studying together. Laughing about the good times.

Those were the good days before life got complicated. The time before hard reality set in. The days when emotions were uncomplicated. Each moment truly lasted forever. But life moves on, and summer turns to winter, bringing its cold icy loneliness.

I'm being dramatic I know but that's how I truly felt. Obviously moving to a private secondary school was the right option for me. As you had to pass an entrance exam, I would only be amongst other intelligent people. But financially this was something unavailable to Isla. So we went our very separate ways. We stayed in touch, still staying at each others but we just drifted. I didn't change much, but she did. Each day she became more and more like Lorna. Your classic cute popular girl. Friends with everyone, even losers like me. Sporty, fashionable and still sorta bright.

Just saying but my point still stands about relationships. Lorna is now 18 and has had her fair share of relationships, none of which seemed to last five minutes.

To be fair to Isla she does have a boyfriend, Dan, they've been together for nearly a year. I have to say, they are pretty cute together. He is such a sweetheart, he goes out of his way to do activities I would never have expected. He even puts up with hours of shopping, I really don't have the patients for that. I'm glad that they're happy but I have doubts it'll work out.

A tiny part of me is jealous. Only a tiny bit. Maybe companionship wouldn't be too bad. I know it won't last forever but perhaps I can enjoy it in the interim.

Let's just see what happens.