Karma

I've been sick for a long time.  Maybe not as long as a lot of people who have what I have, but I say six years is a long time for anyone really.  Being sick, knowing you might just fall and die that day, and not having a real cure for your illness? Of course I would lose hope eventually. There is a way to save me, but it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  Not that many people diagnosed with my illness can actually find the cure. A lot spend their whole life searching, but can never achieve it.  I'm someone who knows I can't find the cure, so I don't try.  I'm not the type that can have the cure.. It wouldn't be right. 

.  .  .

I don't have a plan for my daily life.  I'm supposed to be free, living my own life but my family controls me and everything I do.  They planned my future like they do my everyday activity. I know they just want to find the cure, to help and save me.. But all these hospital visits, the new towns and new faces is not going to help me.  Not much is known about my illness and there is really no one trying to find out more about it.  It is what it is.  My parents just haven't given up yet.  They keep looking while I just walk behind them, waiting for the day they realize it was all pointless. 

And I supposed today might have helped push them in that direction.

.  .  .

It started off like usual, my mother waking me up to tell me I had another appointment at a new hospital.  Getting dressed, eating breakfast with medicine, and walking out the door to the train station.  Everything was like usual.. Until I made it to our second to last stop.  Where my mother couldn't stop repeating how this was the last hospital.  The one that could really help. 

yada yada- big fight later- I find myself with my arms wrapped around another guys back.  A little blue haired male who seemed rather young, but at the same time older? If that even makes sense.  We didn't say anything as he simply just smiled and boarded the train. The one I was meant to go on, if I hadn't left the women with the tickets.  I watched him as he left, curious to where he was going, how he could still be able to smile at me even after I said all those mean things, and why he smelled like lavender.. If that was even a normal thing to smell like. 

.  .  . 

After making up with my mother, we headed to the hospital with my father (like usual) not saying anything about the fight.  Which is what he (probably) thought would be for the best.  I don't know how true that really is, but the silence felt safer than actually talking at that moment. 

I was in the hospital room waiting to have my usual check up.  My father went off to find himself some coffee to stay awake and my mother was.. well, who knows where.  The room was one of those private rooms for guest who were most likely going to be stuck there for a while.  The bed in the corner with just enough space from the wall in order to fit a few machines.  like an usual hospital bed.  The walls, floors, sheets, and basically everything in the room a bright white.  A window on the wall nearest the bed, the opposite from the door.  The window was one of those where you could sit down on. I can't remember the name at the moment..Maybe it will come to me later.  

I wonder how long I'll be staying at this hospital? Maybe I'll have enough time to decorate it.  Add some color to it. Or, like usual, leave the first chance my mother sees that there will be no help at the hospital.  The only reason I'm here is because they have a new drug trial for my illness. Nothing more...

I was looking around the room, trying to decide what I could add to make a difference on how it looked, when the door suddenly opened.  I turned to look at who came in, only to see the boy from the train station. The same one with the blue hair and blue eyes.  The same male whose name I never learned. 

He looked just as surprised as me.  His hair slightly messed up, the ends sticking up all around.  The files in his hands sticking out from every corner of the pale folder. He didn't say anything.  He just.. stared.  Stared at me.  Then, he took a deep breathe in, grabbed the door handle, and slammed it shut with him outside and me stuck inside. 

"What the.." I said while taking a few steps closer to the door, only for it to suddenly open and almost hit me in the face.  There he was, the same blue boy who had just walked into my room seconds before.  But now he was calm and collective.  Files organized, hair down, and a small smile stuck on his face. 

"Hello. If I'm not mistaken, you should be Karma Akabane.  My name is Nagisa Shiota but you can call me whatever you want. I'll be helping you today," He said while looking down at the file.  

"Did you read all that from the files or were stalking me after this morning?" I said jokingly. He didn't seem amused. 

"Okay.  You must already understand how the check up works seeing this is a usual routine for your family," The boy, Nagisa said, continuing to look at the files. Completely ignoring what I said. 

I sigh heavily. "Yeah, I'm used to this.  Let's just get the test over with so I can go back to figuring out what I should put in this room." I  said, sitting on the bed as Nagisa moves from the door back outside, dragging in a cart filled with different items for my check up.  

"If you do decorate," he says after a long pause, "Try to use photos of drawings, scenery, or really anything without people in it.  It makes it feel like you're not missing out on anything."  

I look up from the cart to him, to see he was already looking at me. I smile and chuckle lightly.  "I'll think about it. But I don't just want that.  Any other suggestions?" 

"Those lights that change.  Maybe posters instead of pictures. You can even bring in your own bed covers if you wish.  Pillows to match the light and blankets.  Maybe a little fur carpet." I watched as his face change, he was frowning, then smiling, and finally laughing. I knew the fur carpet was a joke.  But now I'm really considering it just because I want to see him laugh once I bring it in..

I can feel my lips twitch up into, what I think is, a smile. "Hm, sounds perfect." After a few more minutes of talking, we started the check up.  We went through it while talking about different things. Learning more and more about each other.  I'm surprised he calmed so much.  He is most likely just used to things like this. 

.  .  .

It's been a few hours since Nagisa left my room.  He had to attend to the other patients.  When he left, I looked up the different  items he suggested to really make my home away from home, really feel like home. I ordered a lamp with three different colored bulbs.  One red, one blue, and one green.  All shaped in little flowers. Then I ordered a dark red (fake) fur rug to put right next to my bed.  As well as dark red blankets, blue and red pillows, and a few pictures of trees and different drawings.  All blankets, rugs, and pillows just a singular color without any designs on them. I wonder if he would like it...

.  .  .

My day went by quickly.  Night rolled in like nothing and my father and mother never showed up again after the check up.  I hope they are getting the proper rest they needed.  Taking care of a spoiled brat, one that does work when he has the chance, seems rather hard.. especially a sick spoiled brat. But still, I'm a CEO to my own company.  I have my own money to pay for everything, but my mother and father insist on doing it because they know I won't visit any of the hospitals or do my weekly check ups if I had control. Which, I guess, they are correct. I really wouldn't go to anything.

The company I ordered from said it would take up to two days to be delivered at the nearest post office.  The nearest was only about six minutes away with a car. I could probably have someone pick it up since it seems I'm not allowed to leave. 

What a time to be interested in someone..