Karma

After a few hours, Nagisa left and I was left alone to think about everything we said.  After we talked about our past, we went on to lighter topics. Like what our favorite color was and why he smelled so much like lavender.  Apparently, it's the lotion he uses. He asked me if he should change it since it was so strong, but honestly, I kinda enjoy smelling lavender when laying with him.  It helps me imagine we are anywhere but here.. In a  hospital.  

.  .  .  

I fell asleep after one of the doctors gave me a some type of medicine meant to ease the pain in my lungs.  It didn't do much but it stopped the pain until I was fully asleep.  I'm supposed to have another check up in the morning, but I'm not sure much has changed. It feels the same.  But, when Nagisa was laying next to me, I felt a lot calmer. 

.  .  .

I woke at seven with a knock from the door. It was harder than Nagisa's so it couldn't have been him.  My mother and father never knocked, regardless of how many times I ask. Which meant it had to be the hospital staff. Which, I didn't even think they knew how to knock.

I stood up and quickly fixed my outfit.  I don't care if this might be the last time they see me, I need to look presentable.

Behind the door stood an older nurse with gray hair running through her ponytail.  She was shorter than me and looked more serious that all my teachers combined.  Which is saying a lot since they had to deal with kids for most of their life. 

"You'll be having your check up at two.  Don't eat anything large before the check up.  Pudding and fruits, like grapes, are allowed.  This is just encase you get sick and need to throw up. I rather you do it somewhere else then on my shoes," she said while handing me a small container of grapes and a fake cup with orange juice.

I smiled and allowed the door to close as she walked away.  This appointment might just be my last if nothing has changed.. But, if their is still hope, this might just be one of many. 

.  .  .

My appointment came and I followed the older nurse from before.  She told me I was going to be getting another lung scan. Like last time, it would be somewhat quick and painless. I just had to cooperate, which wouldn't be so hard for me since I'm used things like this.  And it's not like I'm still a child. 

.  .  .

I was told to go back to my room after the scan was over. It had taken more time than I thought it would but they said they had to take pictures before they were able to tell me anything.  They wanted the higher ups to be the first to tell me if anything changed or if.. If I was the same as before. 

.  .  .

It took a few hours but before long there was another knock at my door.  This time it was one I recognized. I pushed back my hair and looked down at my outfit.  Comfortable .  Normal. Just what he would like.  Before opening the door I switched the lights back to blue and red.  My phone rang.  A new text message.  I check it.  A text from "My Blueberry💕". Nagisa. He was at the door, waiting for me. 

I smiled and set my phone down.  The results would be in soon and I wanted Nagisa there for me when I received the results.  Good or bad, he had to be there.

"Hello," I said while opening the door and looking at the blueberry before me.

"Hello, Strawberry," He said to me while smiling.  It wasn't just a one sided nickname. We both decided the night he was in my room to give each other nicknames with a certain things.  We both love fruits so why not?

"Welcome.  Come in, Blueberry?" I opened the door fully and moved to the side. I took his hand and led him to the guest chairs.  I moved it closer to me and I sat on the bed. He was still smiling at me, but I could tell he was just as nervous as I was..

.  .  .

We talked for a while and we seemed to both relax.  Only to tense up once more as we heard a knock on the door. We both knew who it was and what they were bringing.  I was going to have my results in just minutes. 

"Come in," I shouted while tightening my grip onto Nagisa's hands. 

Two doctors came in, one with a folder and the other with a smile.  Well, that's always good. 

"Hello, I'm Doctor Suki and this is doctor Muyoki and we are here for Karma Akabane," one of the doctors said while looking between us. She, doctor Suki who had the smile, had long, golden hair which was pulled to the side in a low ponytail.  She had thick, round glasses and a slender face.  She wore what every doctor I've seen in my life wears. Formal clothing and and white coat. 

I raised my hand to signal who, between Nagisa and me, was Karma Akabane. 

"These results, Karma, might be shocking but it's wonderful," said the one named Muyoki, who began shaking the envelope. He was a plumb male with dark brown hair, cut short and who wore small spectacle glasses.  He had the same white coat as the women, but shorter to match his height. 

"We can either read it to you, or we can give you the folder for you to read on your own." Muyoki shook the folder once more and pointed it at me.  I was finally my choice.  I haven't told my mother about this appointment so now I had to pick for myself. 

I squeezed Nagisa's hands one more time before letting go and reaching for the folder. "If you don't mind, I would like to read it myself."

"Okay," They both said and the male walked over and put the file in my hand.

They both smiled at me, then each other, and finally at Nagisa. They both turned and made their way to the door. Leaving the file behind with me and Nagisa.

When they both left, I kissed Nagisa on the cheek and sat him next to me on the bed. He put his hands on mind and nodded his head.  Slowly, I opened it. He let my hands go as I reached to pull out the picture and notes inside. 

Once I did, I was honestly shocked.  The picture was much different from the last scan.  The flowers were still there, but they were smaller.. So much smaller.  I was so happy I almost started crying, the tears were there but I still had one more thing to do.  Read the notes. 

I looked at Nagisa and smiled before turning back to the note and began reading. 

"Dear Karma Akabane," the noted began. "We believe we found out something new about your sickness.  It's believed to be caused by a surprising amount of stress and no type of happiness.  A lot of stress can cause more problems then just this but we don't see any other problems? We're taking a strong guess that it's not just stress but we are unsure what else it could be. We are still looking into it and hopefully we can tell you one day, but it seems you are getting better. The flowers are smaller and you even seemed happier during the scan. Meaning stress might have some part in your life. By any chance, are you happier? Maybe even in love with someone? We did research on this one disease that seems to be made up but hey, don't knock it until you've tried it. So, we searched it up and hey, maybe love can actually change someone. So, after you're done reading this, please reach out to us and, if you can, tell us what has changed recently. Sincerely, those trying to help people like you."

I took a deep breathe and looked at Nagisa.  There were tears falling from his puffy eyes.  He was rubbing around them, wiping the tears off quickly.  I smiled and kissed his forehead gently.  Tears were slowly falling from my eyes but it wasn't from sadness, I was truly happy. Nagisa gave me hope and I actually believed there was chance for survival. And now I know there really is a chance! I honestly can't believe it..

I pulled Nagisa closer to me and he looked me right in the eyes. He was looking me right in the eyes and that was all I  saw before I kissed both his eyes gently and then his lips. He pushed back and looked me in the eyes. He had the smallest blush along his face. He looked at the floor and then at me.  He leaned in and kissed me softly, before pulling back and blushing harder. His hand, which were on both of my arms, tightened and trembled. I smiled and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

"I like you, Nagisa." I pulled away from him and held his face in my hands. "And I want you to stay with me.  You are the reason I'm getting better. You gave me hope I didn't think I had. And I want to continue to have that hope. I want to still be with you, I like you. I really like you." I smiled and put my head on his..

"Karma," He whispered, "You are the first person I really cared about and the first one to make me feel so loved and wanted." He said, with a kiss on the lips and then a tight hug. "I would love to be with you but you have to promise me something."

"What is it?"

"If we do get together, can I still work here? Can I still help all these people?" He was looking down at the floor when he asked me and I knew he wasn't expecting a yes for an answer. 

I laughed gently and kissed him on the nose.  "Why wouldn't you be able to? You live in the city, right? Well, I work there and live there as well.  You can still come to work and date me.  It will be no different."

He looked up at me and his eyes were glistening with tears.  Like he was about to cry again. I laughed softly and that's when I knew I was going to be truly happy with Nagisa..

.  .  .