This is for all the people who are always there for me, believing I will continue this story.

For you, Thank you! :)

"Do you want me to be your BFF?"

"BFF?" I ask. "What is that?"

He rolls his eyes, as if BFF is the most used word in the world.

"BFF?" I repeat.

"Best Friends Forever," he emphasizes the word 'forever'.

"Where did you get that?"

"Before I went here, I was watching a cartoon, and then I changed the channel. I heard someone, a girl in a TV show, said to his guy friend that he is her BFF now."

It's amazing how a seven year old kid can think about great things. Look who's talking, as if I'm not seven either. I'm overwhelmed with a sudden feeling; my heart is melting like a chocolate inside me.

"So," he continues shyly, "do you want me to be your BFF?" His eye lashes are so long, they look cute on him.

"Are you sure you want me to be your Best Friend Forever?" I ask hesitantly, afraid he will reject me. "Forever is a long time, you know."

"Your silly." A chuckle escapes from his mouth. "Of course I want you to be my best friend forever."

A grin spreads from my face; I bet I smile like Ronald McDonald, grinning from ear to ear. I can't help myself, I jump up and down. Soon enough, Alex does the same. We hold hands, jumping up and down, sharing a good laugh until we're both exhausted.

Suddenly, he puts his arms around me. I freeze, my own arms at my side not knowing what to do. Then, like it's an instinct, they ends up in his neck. How I love the feel of his arms around me, promising nothing will ever come between us.

"Why are you hugging me?" I mumble in his shoulder, not that I'm complaining.

"I watched in that TV show that BFF's hug each other."

"What is that TV Show?" I ask; curiosity is clearly in my voice. He is silent for a while, so I look at his face. His eyes are narrowing slightly, looking at nothing in particular. His brows furrows and I know he's thinking deeply. His eyes have that faraway look when he's working something out.

"Aha!" he says, after a moment. "It's called--"

Kamille snaps her fingers in front of my face which brings me back to the present. "See," she says sarcastically, "He's W-O-W."

I'm shock to hear the name Alex. There's only one Alex that I've known in my whole life. Maybe that's why another memory of him resurfaced.

Ignoring her, I continue to look at Alex. I study his face carefully, trying to see the Alex in my past with him. He has ashy blonde hair, and his eyes are the color of the sea. They are so blue you want to go swim in them. They have depths --

"You can sit here," a girly voice says, interrupting my thoughts. I look around and spot Victoria moving out of her chair. I bet Maegan bribe her to move so that she can sit beside Alex.

Alex smiles and looks questioningly at Mrs. Dorothea, asking her permission.

"You can sit anywhere you're comfortable."

Alex takes the seat beside Maegan and I hear her talk about herself. Eh, narcissism much?

While Mrs. Dorothea discusses about the popular compositions of Beethoven, my eyes darted to Alex. If he's my best friend, does he remember me? I continue to stare at the back of his head, squinting to see clearly.

If only he will turn.

Kamille nudges me on the elbow trying to hide a wicked smile. I return her gaze innocently and pull my eyes off Alex. What do I care if he was my best friend? There are lots of Alex's in the world, not only him.

I have an idea; I'll talk to him after the class, and introduce myself.

Music passes slowly. I don't learn a thing; my mind drifts in and out of focus. So when the bell rings, I'm daze. I get my things slowly. Before I forget, I look for Alex. I search for him frantically, but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Woot woot," Kamille say teasingly. "Looking for Mr. Vandom, eh?"

"I'm not!" I state defensively. Am I that obvious? She rolls her eyes and walks out of the room. I follow her and link my arms to her.

"Okay!" I confess, "I'm interested in him, but not the way that you think."

She narrows her eyes. "So what is it then?"

"I think I saw him somewhere, before," I murmur. I didn't tell my friends about my past.

Everybody has their own dirty little secret.

"Okay. Whatever. Don't worry, I don't call dibs. "

"Dibs?" I mumble.

She winks. One of the things I like about Kam is she's not pushy. I'm glad she drops the subject.

The bell rings, indicating it's time for History. Kamille goes to the Science Building, and I'm left on my own. I feel sorry for Mr. Tyree for teaching this subject. While he's not yet discussing, I find myself day dreaming. Thank goodness my seat is on the back of the classroom.

First subject passed in a blur. My thoughts were clouded by the mystery guy. As Mr. Benitez discussed about the themes of To Kill A Mockingbird, my thoughts were focused on the soft blue eyes of the guy. Now I'm waiting for second subject, Music, to start. I hope I can learn something this day.

Tick tock. One more minute, and then the bell will ring and all the students will fill in their seats.

Tick tock. Thirty seconds to go and I already hear the loud clicking of Mrs. Dorothea's stilettos in the hallway.

Twenty seconds before the bell rings, the door opens. A startle gasp escapes from my lips. The world suddenly stops revolving at the mere sight of him. Even my quiet little gasp didn't escape from his hearing.

Our eyes lock gaze at each other for a moment and when he realizes it's me, the girl he bumped a while ago, he gives me a nod.

The ringing of the bell and the entrance of Mrs. Dorothea breaks our small connection. The guy sits directly on the aisle across from me. I find myself staring at him again, like before. Mesmerize by his appearance, maybe. I wait impatiently for the roll call to end so that Madam Dorothea can let the guy introduce himself. I raise my hand automatically when she calls my name. A little later, she, I mean everyone, stops and looks directly at him.

"You're Mr. Perkins, right?"

"Yes ma'am," he answers politely.

"Why don't you introduce yourself in front, since you're a new student here?"

A small smile appears on his mouth as he stands confidently in his seat and walks to the center of the room.

"Good morning!" He greets the class. "I'm Daniel Perkins. I hope we can be friends." In the word 'friends' he's looking directly at me. And then he winks which makes the class erupt in laughter.

"What a humorous student we have here," Mrs. Dorothea purrs, "Welcome to Hamilton High School!"

In that one hour, all I do is stare at his back, hoping he will turn to smile at me. I can't form a coherent thought, as if my mind is blocked with rational things. When the class ends, I put a smile to my face, thinking, 'this is it!' he'll talk to me.

My hope crashes when Maegan leads him out of the classroom leaving me staring at their retreating form. I should have at least said hi!

Don't worry, I tell myself, maybe he has third subject with you.

When I enter the room for History class, my eyes scan every corner. Eh, I shouldn't let myself hope, I have no such luck.

Going towards the cafeteria with other students milling in the hallway, and walking out of their classrooms feels like eternity. I walk in line and pick a tray and wait to order my food. Picking a cheeseburger and milk, I put them on my tray. As soon as I pay the cashier for my food, I look around for someone familiar.

I usually eat alone in the courtyard but I think I need a company right now. I walk without looking where I am going. Suddenly, my tray bumps into someone's chest; the milk pouring onto his shirt. My tray falls to the ground making a loud clattering noise.

An eerie kind of silence fills the cafeteria. I hear a sigh from someone and I look up to see Daniel running a hand through his hair. Daniel Perkins! I duck my head in embarrassment and that's when I see my milk on his black shirt.

"Oh no!" I gasp, my hand automatically going to my throat. I get my handkerchief in my pocket and pat his shirt, as if it will dry, but I'm so hopeless, I don't know what to do.

"It's okay," he mutters.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, "Really sorry." I continue to pat his shirt.

"I said it's okay!" I look up with surprise at the sudden change of his voice. He's glaring at nothing in particular.

Looking away, I see the students in the cafeteria gaping at us. They are whispering with one another, and some are smirking. I feel the hotness on my face because of the embarrassment of the situation I am in.

Why me? Why? See what I'm talking about when I said I have no such luck?

"Daniel!" I hear a high pitch voice shouts. "Are you okay?" Okay is an understatement. Maegan runs towards us, her fake auburn hair bouncing as she moves, and puts her hand on Daniel's chest.

He frowns, looking slightly annoyed. "Yeah, I am." I guess it's my cue to leave.

"I'm sorry," I once again mumble.

I turn around and walk out of the cafeteria. My appetite is now lost because of what happened. I decide to go to my next class. I'm alone in the room because the students are still in the cafeteria, enjoying their food. My stomach grumbles suddenly with the thought of food. I haven't eaten my breakfast, I'm so hungry.

I have three classes left before I can go home. I put my head on my hands and I try to stop my mind from repeating the embarrassing scene over again. I stopple my milk to the new guy. That's two for this day already, first was when I bumped into him this morning. I'm not clumsy, so why did that happen? I bet they think I intentionally did it.

WAIT! When did I care about what other people think?

It's so early; class will start after forty minutes. I get my copy of To Kill a Mockingbird and decide to read it because this is the book we're studying in Literature. I'm on the part where Calpurnia decides to take Jem and Scout with her in the church, when a sudden clearing of the throat makes me jump and stops me from reading. I turn around to see Daniel beside me, a playful smile on his lips.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, panic clearly in my voice.

Maybe he's here to charge me for his shirt. I don't have a lot of money saved. And my allowance is for buying books only; nothing more, and nothing less.

In answer to my question, he puts a cheeseburger and milk on my desk. I look at him questioningly.

"You didn't eat, right? So I bring you your food here." He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why?" I ask, raising my eyebrow. Why does he care? He doesn't even know me. He should be mad at me because I ruined his shirt. His shirt! Instead of wearing a black shirt, he is now wearing a blue polo shirt.

He catches me looking and says, "Lucky I bought an extra shirt. Maybe my subconscious mind knew it will happen."

He walks and stands in front of me, nudging the food towards me. He grabs a chair and takes a sit, facing me. My stomach suddenly grumbles again making me flush in embarrassment. He smirks at the sight of my blush creeping on my cheeks.

I grab the burger and take a bite. Its taste fills my mouth and I eat it faster than I'm used to. I'm so hungry; I don't care what my face looks like.

Daniel chuckles and I stop eating, feeling self conscious. He leans to me, his hands move closer to my face making me freeze. What is this guy doing to me? He touches my lips lightly and brushes something off. My heart beats a thousand miles per second as his breath tickles my cheek. He gazes at me for a moment, not removing his fingers in my lips. I'm proud I can return his piercing gaze steadily.

He's the first one to look away, mumbling, "There's a bit of crusts on your lips,"

And that's when I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I rub my lips furiously, albeit I know he already brushes whatever it was.

Being impatient has its disadvantages. "Why are you really here?" I ask him. "I don't believe it's just for the food."

He wipes an imaginary sweat on his brow. I just wait for him to answer my question. "Fine," he says," I want you to be my friend."

"Why do you want me to be your friend?" I ask. "There are a lot of popular people here." I bet, waiting in line to talk to you. "I'm just nobody."

He frowns. "Don't say that."

I shake my head and roll my eyes at him.

"I want to be friends with you because you're the only person here who's not looking at me the way people other people do."

"Huh?" I ask, confused.

"I mean," he begins to explain, seeing my expression, "you don't care about my physical appearance. And I feel comfortable with you."

"How do you know that?" I ask him suspiciously, "it's your first time to see me."

"This is the second time," he states. "Did you already forget I saw you a while ago?" He asks in a mocking tone.

Of course I didn't forget it! I'm not ignorant. I want to ask him why he was running a while ago but that can wait for later so I ask him a different question instead. "What if I'm pretending?"

His mouth hangs open in shock. I laugh at his facial expression and to my surprise, he glares at me.

"What's funny?"

"You're face," I say between laughs, "it was priceless!" I wish I have a camera with me to take a picture of him. "And I'm just kidding a while ago. I don't care about your looks." I meant, not really.

He shakes his head and tries to fight off the smile that is now forming in his cupid bow lips.

"I'm just, you know." I can't find the right words to describe my self, so I try in a different direction. "I just am not comfortable with a lot of people, especially if I don't know them. And I'm usually alone in doing things."

"Like?" He probes, urging me to continue.

"Eating, going to the library, walking to and from school; those kind of things."

He chuckles and I can't help but be confused as to why he found those things amusing. "That's why I'm here! We can do those things together."

Because of his cheerfulness, and enthusiasm, a smile crepts into my mouth. "You should smile often," he says, changing the topic, "it increases your face value."

My face value? Is he for real? "You just met me. You don't know if I'm a bad girl or maybe I'm a bad influence." I don't know why I'm saying these things to him. This feels like I'm not interested in him so I rewind the scene in my head and delete that part. Or maybe not, I'll just think of a witty come back.

"You're not the bad girl type," he states.

"Looks can be deceiving," I retort.

"So you're saying that you're mean?"

"Of course not!" I flushed. "I'm not."

Daniel's laughs cuts my words. I should have count how many times he already laugh in this day. "Come on, I know you're a good person." He smiles. "There's something in you that makes you trustworthy."

"Thanks," I mumble, not knowing what else is there to say.

"Don't worry, I'm not bad either."

I hope our definition of good and bad are the same.

I decide to end my imagination here and continue it later so I open my eyes and am taken aback to find someone sitting beside me. Caleb Vandom. This is still History class, right? Or am I too careless as not to know about the time? Looking in front of the class and seeing Mr. Tyree makes me sigh in relief. I have to be careful next time in day dreaming in class.

"Hi," Caleb whispers, to my surprise.

"Hello," I murmur. Why is he talking to me?

He extends his right hand, and it takes me a second to realize that he wants to shake hands with me. Extending my hand, he gives it a gentle squeeze, too short for my liking. Wait, what? Did I think about that?

"I'm Caleb," he says softly. As if I don't know. I bet this guy doesn't like History too, he's speaking to me and that means he's not listening to the lesson. "You're Annalise, right?"

"Yeah," I mutter. He remembers my name!

"Can I sit here beside you for the rest of the school year?"

My throat is dry so I clear it before I can say, "Sure."

Two subjects with him, two subjects with him sitting beside me. I can't wait to tell Puppy about it. As I'm about to ask him about Alex, Mr. Tyree orders us to listen to his discussion if we don't want to have a pop quiz. Because of that, Caleb and I end up our small talk. I don't really mind, I can ask him about it later, or tomorrow, or next week. I have all the time I need.

At the thought of Alex, another realization hits me.

Before, whenever I want to think about him, I am slammed into a wall. It's a sold brick wall that prevents me from accessing those memories I had with him. That's why when I tried to compare Alex Vandom with him a while ago; I couldn't because I don't really remember what he looked like. Maybe my subconscious mind did the trick, saving me from the sorrow and pain I will surely get after thinking about the past. I'm afraid what will happen if I can't remember everything about him anymore.

What if I realized one day that he was just a figment of my imagination? I don't know how that happened. I hate these kinds of thoughts. The only time I did that was when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, and then I was afraid I was losing my sanity, my life, everything. But then, I got a hold of myself, learning in the end, that the only person who can save me is me.

That was the time I started reading books. They were, and still are, my salvation. They were my anchor back then when everything was falling apart. They helped me temporarily escaped the nightmare I was in. I don't understand what is happening right now.

And then when I think about him, it feels like a long, long time ago. I don't have memories of him then, like he was banned from my mind. When my mind goes deep, trying and really wanting to see him, even with just a glimpse, my head started to throb. It was like someone was punching it on both sides. I don't need him anymore. So why do these memories come, haunting me, flooding my mind, never wanting to be stopped?

The pain was unbearable that's why I stopped. I occupied myself with throwing things, screaming in my pillow so that the sound will be muffled, and Margarett will not here me. Afraid that when she did, she might take me to a hospital, worse, a mental one.

It was the feeling when you depended on someone. And then when they died, or left -- in my case, they take away some part of you, leaving you hollow. You can't function well. And if you survive, you will never be the same as before.

Believe me, I know the feeling.

***

Thank you so much for waiting. I really appreciate it ♥

The song is Even Angels Fall by Jessica Riddle.