In My Ideal World, I am a man.

Maybe I'm still trans, or maybe I'm cis. But either way I am a man.

In My Ideal World, I am a content man.

Not happy, there is no way in life to ever truly be happy from day to day, every second of every hour. Not in My Ideal World. Not for me. But I would be content. I would have my bad days, and I would have my good days. But overall, I'd be okay.

In My Ideal World, I do not have my family.

Perhaps they never existed. Or perhaps they did. If they did, maybe they were bad. Maybe they were good. Maybe we were poor. Maybe we were mildly well-off. Maybe they died, maybe they didn't. I do not know. It does not matter. In My Ideal World, they are not there, and their presence does not matter, because I am still me and that's all that matters.

In My Ideal World, I am flawed.

I'm not perfect. I don't want to be perfect. I only want to be okay. So, I'm not perfect, I'm still flawed. I still have anxiety, and it would be off the charts. I still have depression, but my depression would be a little bit better than what it actually is.

In My Ideal World, I have a dog.

Probably a service dog, for my anxiety. It might be a girl, or it might be a boy. It might have been a rescue. It might be mixbreed, or a Husky, or a German Shepherd, or an Australian Shepherd. Their name would either be Noah or Ryan. In My Ideal World, they are fluffy and they are nice and they aren't useless.

In My Ideal World, I also have a cat.

I do not know what kind of cat, nor do I know what name they would have. All I know is that we would love each other. We would be a family, my dog and cat and I.

In My Ideal World, I have a found family.

My dog and my cat, and the few friends I truly feel close to. Not my actual family, not a family by blood or paper. But we'd be a family by understanding, a tacit family.

In My Ideal World, I'm not afraid of bugs.

Or I am, but not so bad as I actually am. I do not run away at the meer sight of a moth in the same room, or scream my loudest scream at a fly flying right in front of me. In My Ideal World, I am still afraid, but it does not stop me from being able to live my life.

In My Ideal World, I have friends.

They are not fake, and I think they would actually be pretty cool- to me at least. They would be funny. They would be nerdy or dorky and would play D&D with me. They'd be like my actual friends, but closer to me. They would be like a family of sorts to me. They would think I'm cool and they would accept me and help me when I need it. It would be nice.

In My Ideal World, I am an artist.

Art is my passion. In My Ideal World, I would be able to do it and get enough money each month to survive with a little extra. Maybe I would take another part-time job to help, but I would mostly do art. I would enjoy it, and I would have fun.

In My Ideal World, I may have a partner.

Or maybe I don't. I don't know when I would meet them, or if there would be anybody before them. I don't know who they would be, or what. I don't know much about them. I haven't met my own yet, I do not know if I will. I do not know if I will love them completely or simply stay content. But they will accept me, and we will at least like each other. Probably a lot.

In My Ideal World, things are not perfect.

I am flawed. My friends might not be the coolest people. My dog and cat might look worse than others. I do have my family. I am not rich. I might not have found a significant other. I am not the coolest person on the block. I might get ridiculed for being who I am. My Ideal World is not perfect, but that is exactly what makes it perfect.

In My Real World, I am a man.

I am trans, and I struggle, and I have obstacles I still have yet to overcome. But I plan to, with enough patience and then with enough effort.

In My Real World, I am not always content.

I usually feel nothing, or am miserable. I've been told it's the depression, but it is what I feel. I deal with it. And sometimes it pays off, and I'll feel a little content sometimes. I like those times. It doesn't feel so bad when they happen.

In My Real World, I have my family.

They are not the greatest family. But they are also not the worst. We are lower-middle-class. My family is transphobic. My family is homophobic. My family is acephobic. It is not ideal, but I manage, and I live, and hopefully, one day, I will prevail.

In My Real World, I am flawed.

I have social anxiety, and it can be bad. I do not know when I have panic attacks, I do not know what the signs are in myself until I look back. It is not as bad as in My Ideal World, but it's probably worse than I really think it is. I have depression, and it effects my life greatly. I try to fix it, I go out with friends and I try to do things now. I didn't used to, but I do now. I try to make things better, because they won't on their own so I have to give it all a little push. It helps, a little.

In My Real World, I have a dog.

He is a puppy, and he is a he. He is not a service dog, and he is a Mini Australian Shepherd. His name is Ace. He is fluffy and he is energetic and he is smart. Too smart, at times. Perhaps I could teach him to be a service dog for me, later in life. Or maybe not. For now, he is just a regular dog, and he is my dog. He loves me, and I love him.

In My Real World, I also have a cat.

She is a big cat, and she is a she. Her name is Sabrina, although no one calls her that. She is a mixbreed, probably Ragdoll. She is very fluffy. We love each other. She completes my little family, my little dog my cat and me.

In My Real World, I don't have a found family.

I have friends, and I have my pets. But my friends are not close enough to consider true family, just close friends. And the pets are not exactly what I mean, even if they are family to me. I do not have a found family, but I do not need one. My friends and my pets are plenty, and I'm happy with what I have.

In My Real World, I am afraid of bugs.

I do not know why, I do not know when, but I have always been terrified of bugs. Anything associated with that word for a five-year-old has and always will be horrifyingly terrifying to me. In My Real World, I do run at the sight of a moth in the same room as me. I do scream my loudest scream whenever a fly flies right in front of me, no matter how small. I steer clear of areas that used to have ants, even if they are definitely gone. I am wary of places that used to house a small spider, even if it was only for a day. In My Real World, it is a phobia, and I cannot live my life without going outside and being mildly afraid of even the possibility of the sight of a bug.

In My Real World, I have friends.

They are not like family, but we lean on each other when we need to. We support each other, and we talk to each other, and I think they are all pretty swell in their own right. They do not all get along, but that's okay, because each of them individually is great and I can share my love for them. They are cool to me, though not ideally so, and they are nerdy and dorky and they do play D&D with me. We hang out outside of school and we don't forget about each other. It's not ideal, but it is anything far from bad. I would say it's actually a pretty good deal.

In My Real World, I plan to be an artist.

I do not yet know how it will go, I have barely even decided on a college, but art is my passion, and I would like to work towards it becoming my job as well. Even if I have to take some part-time jobs to get enough money to survive. It is my one true goal in life, if I had to pick one, and I plan to keep at it until it happens.

In My Real World, I do not have a partner.

I have not found anybody I am interested in, and I do not know if I ever will. I hope that they will accept me, and I hope that I will at least like them a lot. But I have not met them yet, and I do not know.

In My Real World, things are not Ideal.

They are not perfect, and they are not ideal. They are far from either option. But in My Real World, I can work to make it Ideal- or at least something like it. It will take time, and it will take a lot of effort, but in the end, it will be well worth it, because in the end, I will have a version of My Ideal World, and then it will be perfect.

My Ideal World does not exist.

Perhaps it does in the vast multi-verse, but to me it does not. To me, I only have My Real World, and My Ideal World only exists in my imagination. My Ideal World does not exist, but that's okay. I still have My Real World, and I've been told I am a very creative and imaginative person, so I believe I can use my imagination to create My Ideal World out of My Real World, and in the end I would end up making...

My Perfect World.