Trigger Warning: SA and gore content.

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I faced the wrath when I returned back, Saad wasn't happy. I had prepared myself for that, I knew what was coming my way. So I stood in the room as he went on...

Screaming with rage.

I didn't feel anything as he shouted, his words were forceful and his actions far from gentle. But my mind was completely unaffected, I was dreaming of somewhere else. My mind was one thousand eight hundred kilometres away, thinking about a particular person.

He had promised to send me a letter whenever he reached. I would have declined if I wasn't worried of his wellbeing, the letter could cause a stir in my life. But the situation now wasn't any better, I was reprimanded for small instances.

Saad pulled at my wrist making me wince in pain and I looked into his eyes.

"Are you even listening to me?" His grey eyes were filled with rage, I blinked as I search for the honey coloured ones. My mind was playing tricks on me again, I was lost in my own thoughts.

Saad became annoyed because of my lack of response. So he pushed me down on the bed, his grip bruising. My head landed on the pillow and I closed my eyes.

And imagined the rivers, the sky, and the serenity of the hilltop. I could feel the breeze on my skin, almost smell the roses and hear the birds chirping.

My arms were pushed on top of my head, and then I felt the tug of my clothes. He had settled himself in between my legs, my clothes were still on, he was punishing me.

Since I was lost in my own dreamworld I hadn't heard the extent of his wrath.

But I could feel it. As my pants were torn off, his hold on me was far from gentle. I was sure it was going to leave a bruise, but beyond this physical pain remained a psychological one. He had assaulted me for months now, and I had accepted it by laying like a dead bird. He had always made the act the least enjoyable for me, and right now he was doing his best to break me.

I screamed in pain as he thrusted in, my cry of anguish was met by his moan of pleaure. I couldn't keep my eyes open as he continued, it was burning, I felt my legs shivering as he went in with full force.

I struggled against his hold and cried but he covered my mouth with his hands. Gazing at those heartless eyes I recognized the monster. I couldn't forget how he had shot his sister dead, without an ounce of emotion.

He had the dead look in his eyes.

Looking into his eyes, I saw the anger.

Why was he angry?

He had two wives, this made me struggle, this was the first time he was intimate with me after his wedding. And I was disgusted by the thought of ...

I pushed at his chest and struggled against his hold.

"Leave my hands, you asshole", I screamed with rage. He stopped and looked at me with shock. Then my head whipped to the other side and I felt my face burning.

I felt extremely weak, as he went on and I couldn't control my cries. He shuddered after a few minutes and released himself inside me.

"That was amazing ", he whispered with a satisfied smile, my body ached. It felt raw, I wasn't ready for this and he was harsh.

I realised I was sobbing because of the pain. The hot tears fell down my cheeks and I wiped them away as he released my hands from his tight grip.

There was blood on my face, he had split my lip open. I was tired of being a victim, tired of crying, not being able to fight back.  I had no control over my life.

"Why?"I couldn't help but ask between my sobs, "Why can't you leave me alone? You are married to the love of your life, why bother me?"

Saad got that look back into his wife, "Because you are my wife as well. And you don't get to question me", he said as he caressed my cheeks with his hands. It was more of a warning as they settled on my neck, I don't know where the ferociousness came from, but I caught his hand and bit it hard. And I attacked his face, going for his eyes, I wanted to poke them out. Those disgusting grey eyes that had mocked me, my nails digged in, and as I kneed him in the crotch. He struggled against me, and I scratched his face, then I felt a kick into my stomach, and I doubled over in pain.

He got the upper hand and pushed me off the bed.

The fall sent shockwaves through my body, and the first sensation was a searing pain radiating from my lower abdomen. It felt like a sharp, intense cramp that stabbed through me, making my muscles contract involuntarily. The sudden impact made my stomach churn, the collision reverberating through my core. It was a jolt that seemed to tighten my pelvic region, a gripping sensation that intensified with each passing moment.

As I attempted to rise, the initial pain dulled slightly, but an achy discomfort persisted. It was a persistent feeling, as if my abdomen was clenching, almost as if in protest to the unforeseen collision. The sensation wasn't just on the surface; it felt deeper, as though something had shifted within me, a sensation I couldn't quite comprehend in the immediate aftermath of the fall.

Was I having my periods? I touched my thighs and was shocked to see a large clump of blood. I was bleeding heavily, Saad finally realised something was wrong with me.

I felt the world blur around me, and I passed out in my own pool of blood.

----

The world around me was a blur as I struggled to swim through the murky waters of consciousness. My eyes slowly adjusted to the stark white of the hospital room, a place foreign yet strangely familiar. Panic surged within me, my heart pounding in frantic rhythms as I grappled with the disorienting haze that clouded my mind.

And then it hit me—the agonizing ache in my lower abdomen, a relentless reminder that something wasn't right. The searing pain that tore through me as I collided with the floor surged back into focus, a phantom sensation that left me gasping for breath.

I tried to move, to piece together the fragments of my shattered reality, but a profound weakness tethered me to the hospital bed. The sterile scent of antiseptic mingled with an overwhelming sense of dread, casting a suffocating pall over the room.

A nurse approached, her presence a fleeting beacon of hope in the tumult of my emotions."What happened?" The words escaped my lips in a trembling whisper.

Her eyes held a compassion that transcended words, yet the weight of the unspoken truth bore down on me. "You've been in an accident. I'm so sorry, but you've had a miscarriage."

The world stopped spinning. Time itself seemed to freeze as the nurse's words reverberated in the caverns of my mind. A miscarriage? The air was sucked out of my lungs, replaced by an inexplicable emptiness that hollowed me from within. I clung to the fringes of a reality I desperately wanted to reject, yet the pain, the nurse's gentle yet sorrowful eyes, affirmed the devastating truth.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I found the courage to articulate the questions that tormented my shattered heart.

"My baby... How old... What was it?" The words emerged in a broken whisper, a plea tinged with desperation, carrying the weight of an unspoken fear. The tremor in my voice betrayed the depth of my pain, the unknown swallowing me whole, leaving me gasping for answers that might offer solace in this sea of despair.

The nurse's gaze softened, a silent understanding passing between us. Her gentle touch, a fleeting reassurance, conveyed a shared sorrow as she gathered the courage to address my plea. "I'm so sorry," her voice, laden with empathy, mirrored the ache in my heart. "Your pregnancy was in its early weeks. I'm afraid there's no way to know."

I longed for something tangible, a memory, a connection, yet the absence of answers added fuel to the flames of my despair.

"I have given a call to your husband-" I cut her off.

"All of this happened because of him." I couldn't help but sob. The pain was too intense. It was tearing me apart, my heart ached for the child I could have had.

"Your husband?" The nurse asked calmly, I nodded my head. She placed her comforting hand on my head and caressed it slowly as I cried.

"I will talk to the doctor, don't worry. I want you to rest now, okay?" I nodded my head as she gave me some injections to calm me down. I laid on the bed thinking about the joke my life has turned into.

My husband killed my child.

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