I can’t stand him. I just can’t. Kabir is horrible, a real and living nightmare to share a roof with. But which man has an iota of understanding of what it’s like to cohabitate with a woman without getting on her nerves? That is exactly why I’ll never get married in this lifetime. Never.

Like he just acts so uptight and treats me as if I’m a ghost (unless I’m in the kitchen cooking my supposedly unhealthy meal). He hardly talks to me, even if we’re in the same room. Always has to nag me if I have my music playing in my room on a moderate volume because he’s noise sensitive. He has partitioned the only shelf in the bathroom, that now leaves me with only enough space for my shampoo, conditioner and a face wash. Don’t even get me started with the grooming essentials he has for himself, like, for God’s sake he is a man! Why does he have a stricter self care routine than me, a woman? I’m mortified! And the shoe rack…I’ve never felt that poor in my entire life. I mean it’s not like I own only two pairs of footwear, I have five...but this devil of a man has twelve and has taken up all the space. And the kitchen? Everywhere I look, there are only veggies and veggies. I feel like I’m living a nightmare where only green vegetables exist and those vegetables which aren’t green because apparently he doesn’t eat carbs (or anything tasty) and prefers to follow a strict diet. Should I now be ashamed of my very Indian food choices as well that doesn’t mirror a goat’s diet? I can’t even make my simple dal chawal in peace because he keeps saying stuff like I shouldn’t use refined oil or I'm adding too much salt and spices. JUST LET ME EAT MYSELF TO DEATH, WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM????

‘I have no issues with what you eat or do, you're your own person. The only time I interfere is when I see you eating unhealthy because as a doctor, I just can’t stand people foolishly damaging their bodies with an improper and unbalanced diet. And I don’t think just because we’re sharing an apartment, we have to act like friends or whatever. As for the music, you know I told you I’m noise sensitive. I just can’t concentrate on my work or sleep peacefully if there’s even a little noise. I don’t know why are you overreacting.’

Did he just shrug his shoulders? At me?
Can I kill this man?