Disclaimer: What I am about to tell you may come as a surprise to many Islamophobic folks, Ignorant Muslims, or people who just accept everything the news says about Muslims. So make sure your jaw doesn't hit the floor too hard. I don't want ya'll to get hurt.

For some reason, a lot of men seem to think they can simply force women to observe hijab. Instead, the Quran and Prophet Muhammad are clear: in Islam, we are not actually allowed to do that at all. The burden of modesty lies with us.

~Qasim Rashid

I am just going to get straight to the point with this: When addressing hijab, the Quran (Islams Holy Book) does not address women's modesty first. It addresses men first. Shocker right? No, what you just read is not a typo. Islam places the primary responsibility of observing hijab not on women – but on men.

It is very common for people to associate the "hijab" and the"headscarf". Wearing the headscarf only one form of hijab, but men often forget that hijab is much more. The Quran (islamic holy book) commands men to not stare at women and to not be condescending in a sense of sexual harassment. 

The Quran chapter 24 verse 31 obliges men to observe modesty: "Say to the believing men that they restrain their eyes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely, God is well aware of what they do."

This verse is so freaking beautiful in a sense that it completely destroys the entire western rape culture, that "women must cover otherwise men are distracted". It destroys rape culture because it commands men to reform themselves first and foremost. It demolishes complaints that what a woman is wearing is "too provocative", because it flat out forbids men from gawking and giving woman unwanted attention.

This point was illustrated when the Prophet Mohammad was on a trip with his companion Al Fadl bin Abbas. A woman who was described as strikingly beautiful approached the Prophet to seek his guidance on a religious matter of some sort. Al Fadl began to stare at her because of her beauty.

After witnessing this, the Prophet Muhammad did not scold the woman for dressing provocatively or revealing her beauty. Instead, he "reached his hand backwards, catching Al Fadl's chin, and turned his face to the other side so that he would not gaze at her". Thus, the Prophet Muhammad once more established that the primary burden to observe hijab rests on men.

Men should remember that they have not been given powers to police others and they should restrain themselves. Men are commanded to restrain their eyes, they should fulfill their own obligations. There is not even any commandment in the Quran to forcibly cover the heads of Muslim women, let alone non-Muslim women.

Hijab is an essential component to the Islamic teaching. No one denies this. But it seems to me that too many men forget it applies to them first. 

Men: Stop obsessing over women, and worry about reforming yourselves first. That is the purest form of jihad and true meaning of hijab.

And finally, here's another brilliant idea for those seeking to understand how hijab applies to Muslim women.

Ask them.

Next Chapter: A Muslim Woman's Confession