I am not excited. I have a lot of shit to talk about with Shouta. He didn't even specify what we are going to talk about! For all I know, I could be entering another argument!

Of course, I'm trying to be positive about it and thinking maybe he just wants to talk about me stealing his motorcycle, but I am also aware that's far from the mark that he wants.

Welp, no use wondering. I'll just have to enter the cave and see.

"Do you mind if Hizashi and Nemuri join us?" Shouta asks as he drags me out of my thought process.

I tilt my head in confusion, "Usually, you try to get rid of them at all cost."

"Thought that they deserve to know as well since they seen you too. I also believe that you trust them enough to spare some information to them." He's not wrong. At least I won't be alone with Shouta. I do care for Shouta, but sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall. A brick wall covered in spikes.

"I don't see why not." We enter the teacher's dorms and head to Shouta's dorm.

"I would prefer a yes or no."

"Logically, I mean yes, dumbass."

Shouta rolls his eyes as we enter his dorm. Now, when I first went to Shouta's apartment almost a year ago (I can't believe it has been that long), it was a mess. Then, I moved in and organized the crap out of it. And then we came here and did the same thing. Believe it or not, Shouta didn't trash the apartment after that. On the opposite, he keeps it rather clean as he just puts stuff where ever it is supposed to go. It lasts quite a while too without me having to go in and clean it.

This time, it looks like a tornado went through it. It's not as bad as when I first visited him that time ago, but it's out of sorts compared to the usual. If someone normal came here, they would think it is fine.

But I have a few loose bolts in my head, so I am concerned about the slightest differences.

Empty pouches overflowing from the trashcan. A blanket on the couch sits on the back and looks thrown aside. Papers are covering the coffee table in no particular order, which Shouta is especially picky about given he is a teacher. There's more, but I won't get into the details. That's not the point I am getting at here.

There's a saying out there, and I can't remember what it specifically says, but the gist is that the organization of the room represents someone's emotional stability. I'm not saying that someone with a messy room is about to lose their marbles. I'm just saying that that they may not be the happiest.

I know these are small things, but Shouta is diligent with things like this.

Then, I remember how Shouta looked when he came in this morning. Exhausted. Drained. You can put a lot of negative words there.

Putting all that information together, it clicks.

I'm aware that I am terrible at emotions, but I know something happened here. I'm also aware that it has something to do with me considering the earlier words of Hizashi. I'm not that ignorant, even if I don't like where this is leading me.

I'm still standing at the entry way, and Shouta is already in the kitchen making tea, probably to calm me down enough to have a conversation without trying to destroy a wall.

I should tell Hizashi and Nemuri about my concerns and have them handle it. They would know what to do. They've been friends for years while I have only known him for a couple. They are also better at these kinds of things in general.

That's what I do with every situation. If I am worried about someone, I get someone more qualified to handle it so I don't fuck things up.

But this time, I just want to help Shouta anyway I can. At the bare minimum, I can hear him out. That's better than nothing. If I'm still concerned after, then I'll tell them.

If I can't do that, Shouta should just kill me right here.

I finally move from my place to take a seat at the bar. Shouta peers over his shoulder at me, but he doesn't say anything as he just focuses on the keeping an eye on the boiling water.

I consider how to start the conversation, though I don't know why. We're not good at tippy-toeing subjects. As Shouta would say, it's illogical. So I just go for it.

"Hey, Shouta?" He gives me a hum of acknowledgement, letting me know that he is listening, "Are you okay?"

This time, Shouta does turn to face me. Shouta watches me to try and pick up on any signs for why I am asking, something he hasn't done in a while. Usually, he just knows. He's good at predicting my actions and reasonings to some extent. However, he has a decent idea even then. When you have trauma, you just know a person who you shared the trauma with, and that is Shouta with me.

Apparently not so much the other way around.

Have I never asked him if he was okay before? Or just checked in on him in general? If I have, it's been a while since I did because I legit am not remembering a thing. I've been concerned and shit, but I don't think I have ever asked him that to his face.

Damn, I'm an asshole.

Thinking about it, if Shouta didn't ask as much as he did and suddenly asks me if I am okay, I would be questioning his motives too.

Shouta stops inspecting me and looks away, trying to come up with something to say. I get it. If we ignore the 'me being an asshole' part, there's also the age difference. While I believe we do see each other as equals for the most part, age still plays a role. He wants to be the protective big brother while I am the traumatized little brother. He's not likely to take comfort in a stable 16 year old, let alone a 16 year old who should really be in a psych ward by now. I understand to some extent, but I want to punch him out because I worry about him too.

When Shouta still doesn't come up with an answer a couple of minutes later (or he was hoping I would move past the topic, which is not a me thing) , I decide to take the lead.

I sigh, "When you came in this morning, you looked like shit. I don't mean your usual hobo look either. I mean you looked- rephrase, you still look more worn out than usual. Therefore, you can't tell me that it's illogical to go just based of your apartment," I look down at my hand as I try to figure out the right things to say, "I-"

This is so difficult. This is why I don't do emotional talks.

I shake my head to snap out of whatever I was going to say, "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't to. I get that telling me shit is not exactly desirable. However, I do expect you, if you are not okay, to talk to someone. Even if I am a bit of an ass about it, I do care about you just as much as you do me at least. You don't have to always be okay, you see how fucked up I am, but I want you to be able to have the ability to become okay as well," I huff, "Sorry for the ramble."

There isn't a response.

But then, Shouta chuckles. I snap my attention onto him to find him facing away from me. He clicks something off on the stove.

After moving the teapot, Shouta joins me at the counter on the other side with a small smile, "I appreciate the concern, Izuku, but I promise you that I am better now," The smile switches to a frown as he sighs, "I was just really worried about you, kid. You were already not okay, and then you threw yourself into that. I was doing everything I can do be by your side. That's why I'm a bit of a mess right now." Oh, so that's where this conversation is going.

I mean, I knew it, but still.

Don't I feel like the worst friend? As I said before, I knew Shouta was not going to react well, but to throw away his fucking health? Yeah, unexpected. I didn't think he would go that far. Hizashi told me too, and maybe I was hoping otherwise.

"I'm sorry for stressing you out. I knew you were going to react badly, but I thought you would just beat my ass when I got back. I didn't think you would try to come to me or anything like that since you have the rest of my class to worry about."

Shouta runs a hand over his face and pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly unhappy with my response, "Izuku."

"What? In my head at the time, it was a logical deduction."

"...it's a logical deduction, yes. However, you're also in my custody and, in a way, one of my students too. It's not just that either. The stupid shit you pull to protect me? I would do the same thing for you. I'm going to follow you whenever I can, and when UA has multiple teachers, I am going to do everything in my power to find you and protect you." Yeah, I forget that.

"I can tell you that I did not consider that part of the equation."

"Anything involving you is not apart of any equation, Izuku."

"Yeah, I did not consider myself once. Like, I went 'I don't want to do this but I don't trust this bitch so I'mma do this myself.'"

"And that's what we're trying to shove in your head. You can't do everything. You have to trust others, and you need to value your health more because you will destroy yourself otherwise. That's a terrible combination of problems to have."

"I know, Shouta, I know. We had a whole argument about it this morning, in case you forgot."

Shouta rolls his eyes at me, "I rather you not joke about that."

"Hashtag trauma issues," I sigh, "Either way, sorry for worrying everyone."

"We're going to worry about you no matter what, dumbass."

"Damn, you really going low blow on the names."

"Because that's what you are."

"Sho, I think we're both dumbasses. Would you like me to bring up the reasons why?"

"No."

"Then shush. Anywhos, when are they getting here? I just want to get this over with and then do something." Thankfully, it seems that the conversation has settled for now, so there is no need to worry about an argument. It's just casual chat now.

"Give them a few minutes, you impatient brat."

After bickering with Shouta for a few more minutes, Hizashi and Nemuri come in without knocking.

"Hello, everyone! Who is ready to party?!" Hizashi yells as he closes the door.

I raise my hand with one finger up, considering, "Wait, we partying?"

Hizashi plops himself on the couch, "I don't know, but I am tired of life, so I think we should."

"Agreed," Nemuri states as she joins right next to him.

Shouta facepalms, "Izuku has some things to say. Then you three can go do whatever dumbasses do."

Nemuri clicks her tongue, "Alright then. Izu, spill the tea. Let's get this over with."

While Shouta moves to sit down next to his boyfriend (future husband), I can't help but be confused, "What are we talking about?" Like, he's not expecting me to spill out my trauma about the even, is he? If so, jail.

"You said you have some things to discuss with me," Shouta explains as if it was obvious. It wasn't. I thought he wanted me to unload my trauma.

"Oh, that!...wait, you aren't expecting anything else?"

"No. I assume you don't want to open up about your emotions more, so you can do that with Hound Dog or me later. We just want to know what needs to be said."

"Thank fuck!" I exclaim as I walk in front of them, "I thought you were going to have a whole conversation with me about something I rather not hear!"

"That might still happen if you bring up something concerning."

"Well, twist my foot 360."

Nemuri claps, "Shouta, stop distracting him. Izuku, dear, what did you need to tell us?"

I stand on the coffee table, wanting to feel taller as I consider my conversation topics. Let's see, I have to reveal my involvement in the LOV case again. Not sure how that will go with the contract now, but I should be back on it with no problems. I might have to reveal the drinking issue, but I think I will reveal that if my withdrawal symptoms get bad enough. I can cover the shaky hand with being cold and the headache with stress because that's been there. However, if I start getting sick or shit, I'm going to have to drop the bomb.

I hope to god I don't have to drop that mess. I don't know the chances of that happening since it's not like I drank like a monster like before. It was only a couple of beer bottles...I think.

On second thought, I don't remember how many beers I drank, and that probably means I drank way more than expected. I don't know how I survived that mess if I was in that mindset.

Either way, Shouta would hate me and probably suffocate me more.

Actually, Shouta might hate me more if I hide it. I will have to balance the pros and cons of that decision. Maybe I can strike a deal with him.

Other than that, there's not a lot to talk about-

"Oh, before I forget, here!" I pull the mini motorcycle out of my pocket and hand it to Shouta, who is glaring at me, "Hey, wait now! Don't get pissy at me yet! I only brought it for emergencies! I didn't use it, promise!"

Shouta sighs, "I didn't even notice it was gone."

Hizashi bumps his shoulder, "Probably because it was an impulse buy during your midlife crisis."

Shouta kicks Hizashi off the couch, earning a whine from the man, "It was not a midlife crisis. I thought it was a logical buy since motorcycles are more convenient to use than cars."

"You're just not admitting it!"

Nemuri then kicks Hizashi, though lighter than Shouta did, "Unless you want to miss out on cuddles for a while, I recommend you shut up, " Hizashi does the zipper over his mouth motion, "Good boy. Now, Izuku, continue."

I click my tongue, "Cool, alright. So, the contract, right? Shouta got me to sign a new hero contract that makes it difficult AF for them to give me work."

"We know that. Sho was so happy that you signed it." Shouta glares at Nemuri for that comment, but doesn't say anything.

"Okay, that makes my life easier. Question: if I was already on a case before the contract, am I still on the case or do I have to reenter it?"

"That depends on the case. I won't make you reenter it, but if I decide to remove you, I can," Shouta explains.

"Um, the League of Villains case?"

Shouta sighs, "I thought you were kicked off that again."

"I was. Multiple times. But now I am a permanent addition!"

"That's a big no."

"What if I am working with other people?"

"I'm not joining the case so that-" I interrupt this man's ridiculous assumption.

"No, not that! I'm already with a group!"

"With who?"

"Hawks, Sir Nighteye, Detective Tsukauchi, and Gran Torino."

Nemuri whistles, "Damn, they really put the greatest minds together for this. Outside of Nezu, anyway."

"Uh-huh," Hizashi mumbles, but then his attention snaps to me, "Wait, why did she put you guys together? Did you see them there or something?"

"Because she is worried about them." I don't bother with the second question. He either assumes the answer or asks for clarification, which I can't provide him. It's classified for me to even reveal that I was there, let alone that. That's why I didn't give a straight-forward answer to Shouta about where I was in our argument. The only reason I can reveal that I am on the LOV case is because they are heroes within that ring.

"Because they were there?" Hizashi asks again.

"Classified."

Shouta rolls his eyes, "Of course that's classified. We're going to assume yes since it just wouldn't make sense for her to put you back on the case permanently otherwise."

"Pop-off, I guess. Does that mean I can stay on the case?"

"Only because you are with other heroes."

"Oh goodie! That makes my life so much easier!"

Shouta makes sure to lock eyes with me as he says, "Remember that Nezu or I can remove you from the case at any time if I deem it necessary to do so for your health."

"Would have thought I was the dumb one for how you are reminding me of a conversation we had a little over an hour ago."

"You're someone that would decide that they don't want to go by the terms anymore and do it anyway."

Hizashi, the fucking traitor, supports his boyfriend, "No offense, but it's true."

I click my tongue, "The law doesn't apply to anybody. It just gives you a piece of mind that people are willing to follow fake rules."

"He's no wrong," Nemuri states with a grin.

Shouta proceeds to try and kick Nemuri off the couch, but seeing how she is on the other side of the couch from it, that doesn't work out well. Instead, he just glares at her again, hoping to do something, I guess.

I slowly nod, "Hoes be mad about the truth."

Hizashi faces away from everyone, trying to settle down before he says something while Nemuri full-on cackles at the truth.

"I don't get paid enough for this," Shouta mutters, "Enough about that. Is there anything else you want to say?"

Since the appeal of height difference doesn't amuse me anymore, I hop off the coffee table and waddle off to get myself into trouble (and to avoid direct anger), "Just a question for you."

"What?"

"So say something happened, right?"

"...right?" I find myself in front of his bookcase, which is random hero law books. I pluck a random one off the shelf and start to skim it over.

"Like something you wouldn't like."

"Um, Izuku, I don't think you can do much worse than running away without telling anybody, " Nemuri attempts to explain, but Shouta cuts her off.

"This is Izuku. He goes beyond expectations. Either way, cut to the chase, problem child." I really go beyond expectations in every way possible. Plus ultra!

I invest myself more in that book despite not liking the beginning, "If I admit to you what I did, will you grant me some mercy?"

I can hear Shouta sighing from here, "You already came this far. You might as well admit it to me now."

"Admit what? This is all hypothetical."

"You wouldn't be asking me any of this if it wasn't."

"Why would you ask that anyway? Couldn't you get away with it? You're screwing yourself over, Izuku," Hizashi asks.

"Hizashi, don't encourage the kid to keep secrets."

"I'm just saying! Besides, Izuku would normally do that no matter what it is. Why would he ask now? And you can't tell me he is turning over a new leaf this early on, Sho. He would still keep it to himself." Shit, shut the fuck up, Hizashi!

"Not unless he is likely to be caught eventually." Oh my god.

I huff, "Zashi, my mans, you need to shut up."

Hizashi claps, "I'm just telling the truth here!"

"But what was the point of bringing it up, you snitch?!"

"Because it's concerning?"

"You're just making it worse for me."

Nemuri adds her two cents, "We were all thinking the same thing."

"I wasn't!"

"Okay, rephrase: everyone was thinking the same thing except you." I'm blocking her on Facebook later.

Shouta snaps, "You two, stop it. Izuku, if it's going to affect you eventually, we should know. I promise I will try to not get mad at you since you are trying to tell me before it happens."

I finally put the book away and walk back over to Shouta to offer my pinkie, "Pinkie promise?"

Shouta does not respond for a moment, trying to see if I am serious or not.

I am.

When he realizes that I mean it, he eventually follows through and wraps his pinkie around mine.

Of course, he notices the shakiness in my hand because withdrawal a bitch, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no worries. It's about that actually."

"Do you need to sit down or anything?"

"No, because you'll suffocate me once I say it."

"Izuku, I will not suffocate you, and you know that."

Hizashi stands up from the floor only to shove me on the couch beside Shouta, "I'll stop him if he does, tiny listener!" Blocked.

"I don't think you can, but I'll trust you this time. Anyway," Once I correct myself on the couch, I look down at my hand because I rather not look at Shouta, "I had a tactical relapse."

I can feel the confusion in the room, and everyone is quiet for a moment. Hizashi and Nemuri don't get it, and I don't expect them to given they weren't around during my drunk years.

Shouta, on the other hand, gets it almost instantly, "You drank?" I nod, and I can feel Hizashi and Nemuri's shock, "Damn it, kid." I can't really tell how he feels about it. I guess he's hiding his emotions to prevent himself from getting angry at me as promised.

"Yeah...I decided to search for information in a bar and didn't want to stand out."

"How many did you drink?"

"Considering I don't remember, I think that says enough. However, I wasn't blackout drunk. I also only drank beer."

"That's not much better. You're telling us because of the withdraw symptoms?"

"Yeah, I basically drank the whole time."

Shouta sighs, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love and care for me like the best big brother you are?" I can hear one of dumb dumbs snort behind me, but I can't tell who. However, I do know that Nemuri is giggling, so maybe it was Hizashi.

Here's the thing: Shouta actually thinks about my idea. What the actual fuck? I was just trying to win brownie points from him! Why is he considering it?!

When I finally have the balls to look up at him, the man has a stupid 'logical ruse' grin on. He proceeds to wrap an arm around my shoulder and pulls me right against his side.

"Hey, what the fuck?! Let me go!" I yell as I struggle against him only to get trapped further.

The grin turns into more of a smirk, "Why should I? I'm just trying to be the caring big brother you wanted me to be." The bastards beside me are laughing, and I am going to beat their asses later.

"I was joking! You're supposed to take my phone or something!"

"That's what I usually would do. However, you still cause trouble."

"So?"

The smirk disappears, and Shouta looks away as he starts to run a hand through my hair, "So it seems that it doesn't have an effect on you. You just build another of whatever I take or you completely ignore my order. So instead of punishing you the traditional way, what if I treat you the opposite way?" I smack his hand away with a glare, though this man doesn't know fear as the hand just returns to its previous place.

"Nope. No thank you. You can scream at me now."

"That's what you expect. Instead, I'm going to be the overbearing big brother."

"Shooooo. Noooooo," I try to get up, but I am still held down. The head scratches become stronger! My only weakness!

"Finally, you're thinking outside the box, Sho!" Nemuri cheers. BITCH! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

"Izuku gave me the idea," Shouta explains, "This is only the beginning."

"Oh, I bet! Hizashi, are you taking notes? You might need a page from Izuku's book."

"Already on it!" Hizashi responds, and I can hear him tapping away on his phone barely.

"Both of you be quiet. I'm trying to get my little brat of a brother to sleep to escape the withdrawal symptoms for a bit," Shouta says as the head scratches force me to close my eyes.

"Rude ass mother fucking bitch," I mumble.

I hear Shouta says something, but it's fuzzy as I lose against my greatest enemy.

I really need to start wearing a hat.