So I can officially say that I have killed a man!

Apparently, I electrocuted the idiot to death, which is expected, but I guess my brain didn't realize that electrocuting someone to death means, you know, death. My body count is officially one now!

Of course, Shouta was trying to protect me from the fact that I had a body count in the first place, but after pestering him about it, he did tell me. I didn't like that I had to pry that information from his greasy disgusting hands, but I can't say much when he has always done that with certain things.

I should you inform you about who the guy actually was.

His name was Nine. Apparently, he and his cult were trying to take over the world and make it natural selection literally with the idea that the powerful survive while the weak die. That makes sense seeing how the guy wanted to kill me since I am quirkless.

Jokes on him because the quirkless killed his dumbass!

Returning to the topic, the quirks he had were stolen from other heroes. To make the tea boiling, the quirk that allowed him to steal quirks was an artificial quirk! Thank fuck that bitch had a limit. I kind of knew about this case, but I wasn't allowed to participate in it due to how sensitive it was. They also didn't want a teenager outdoing their shitty detectives even though they should be making them detectives better anyway.

I'm just spitting facts.

Anyway, after that whole drama (I might as well be on Drama Island), class 1-A decided that we should stay on the island and help fix it with the residents. We got to work, and by the time we were done, it looks just like before!

What's weird is that the whole time, those kids stuck around me. I guess it makes sense given their trauma.

OH, THE KIDS! So you are probably wondering 'hey, how did this greasy shithead find out about these kids?' Well, their father had a more limited version of Katsume's quirk. I say was because it was stolen, but it didn't work on the bitchass, so they saw that he had kids and went on a trip to steal them. Their father is in hospital now, but he should be dispatched soon and return back to his kids finally as a good father should.

Ahem, sperm donor, you better be taking notes.

With that out of the way, Shouta wouldn't let me fly back, so we took a yucky boat back to the mainland and rested for a couple of days before returning to class.

But not everyone is returning to class.

- - -

On the first day of class, I stop Ashido, Kaminari, and Ochaco from going. Why?

Well, remember how we said that we were going on a rebellion until I got my bank account back? Well, our rebellion involves skipping class until we get it back. That doesn't do a big thing for me as I am not in class anyway, but to have those three with me? We have a chance!

And then the chances increased further when Nemuri heard about my plan. When she asked for our plan during the run away trip, I literally looked at her and said, "Ma'am, do you ever have a plan when running away?"

Since she heard that, she has determined that we should all go shopping. And before you ask, yes. She did skip her own class to do this. Thankfully, she got Hound Dog to substitute for her.

That is how we made our way to the mall where I originally got my choking trauma!

"Okay, but like, should you really bring us to a place where I nearly died?" I question Nemuri as my class squad and I follow after her.

"You nearly die everywhere so no big deal!" Nemuri points out. I hate to admit it, but she is right.

"You're mean for pointing out the truth."

"You literally told me that I needed to stop purring last night."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You destroy me, and I destroy you," Nemuri offers a smile that is concerning. Everyone but me steps back.

"And I oop. Whatever, this conversation is not getting us anywhere. Where are we going?"

"I don't know. I thought you guys would have told me if we need to stop some place."

"Uh, no? We were just following you."

"Ohhhhh. That makes sense why we have been around the mall multiple times, and you guys said nothing."

"Ma'am, the instructions were unclear." My squad nods in agreement.

"I get it now, settle down. Where do you kids want to go? And no, I'm not taking you to Walmart."

My depression increases tenfold hearing that. I pout, but she doesn't seem to budge. Kaminari pats my shoulder.

"If that's the case, to the dress store!" Ashido announces as she marches her way to the nearest one.

"I like that idea!" Nemuri follows after. Ochaco seems shocked at the store they are heading into, but she comes along anyway. Kaminari and I join with them.

Apparently, we are the judges.

The girls start trying on dresses left and right, and I can tell they are having a great time as they aren't going to buy them. However, it lets them feel pretty for a little bit. Kaminari enjoys the show while I offer my critique.

Nemuri being herself, she gets bored of that. While Ashido and Ochaco are choosing each other's outfits, Nemuri brings me a dress. It doesn't take a genius to know that it is too small for her.

"Ma'am, your cahoots are too big for that," I point out. Kaminari covers his mouth to keep from laughing aloud.

Nemuri huffs, "I know that! It's for you, Izu!"

"Uh, no thank you."

"Do you really think you have a choice?"

"Yes."

"Well, you don't. Come on!" Nemuri suddenly starts dragging me away.

"Kaminari, help me!" I whisper yell to hopefully have her not hear me, but the glare from her says otherwise.

Kaminari shakes his head, "Nah, man! This is your issue, not mine!"

"YOU TRAITOR!" I cry as I am shoved into the dressing room with the dress.

Logically, I look to see if there is anyway to get out of here.

Nope. Of course there isn't. In fact, I bet one of my ballsacks that Nemuri checked to make sure there was no way for me to escape before throwing me in here.

Big sad.

I can't believe I am being forced to wear a dress. Not that I haven't, of course. There's nothing wrong with dresses. I'm just not in the mood to feel high class right now.

Damn. This must be how rich people feel like sometimes.

I remove what I have on in exchange for the dress, and it is at this point I realize why Nemuri had me try this on.

It looks pretty similar to Elsa's dress in the first movie. The shiny one, not the first one. Nobody cares for the first one. Sure, it has its differences, like it is a light green rather than a blue, less sparkles, and more fancy stitch work, but it looks similar otherwise.

It's a bitch to get on with one arm, but I manage and I am fucking slaying this dress! I just need someone to zip it up!

"Hey, Nem?"

"You have it on?" Nemuri immediately asks.

"Yes, and I fucking love it, but I need someone to zip up the back."

"Oh, I got you handled! Come on out and I'll do it for you!" As requested, I strut out like the queen I am, "I knew you were going to love it, but damn you are one with it!"

"Uh-huh! Now zip zip so I can enhance the world with my new beauty!"

"Calm down, I am getting to it, Izu! Patience."

Nemuri zips me up, and I strut over to my friends.

"LET IT GO! LET IT GO! OH, FUCK OFF, REGISTER MA'AM!" I sing as I approach with Nemuri behind me. Of course, the lady at the register is glaring at me, so I'm going to call her out.

Am I supposed to be nice?

Well, even if I am, I'm going to call her out. I'm just living my best life while she is having a job she probably hates. Maybe she needs to lose an arm-

Wait, way too far, Izuku. You can't go around wishing for people to lose their limbs. Only their fingers and toes.

Moving on.

"YAS QUEEN, STRUT IT, GIRLFRIEND!" Ashido encourages as she comes to my side, "DANG, YOU WORK IT GOOD!"

Kaminari claps, "Go Izuku!"

Ochaco grins at me, "Wow, you really know how to make a dress look good, Izuku!"

I bow, "Thank you, thank you! I'm here all week!"

Nemuri comes beside me, "I know how to choose them, huh?"

Ashido nods quickly, "Uh-huh! Hey, can you pick one out for me?!"

"Sure! Come on!"

Just as they are about to walk off, my phone goes off.

"Shouta is calling. Would you like to answer?"

I pull out my phone and answer, "Hi, hoe!"

Shouta growls over the line, "Where are my students and Nemuri?"

"Your students? Possessive, are you? You really are a true dad!"

"Izuku, answer the question."

"Oh, you know, holding them ransom for my bank account."

"I will expel all of them if they don't return now."

"And Nezu will revoke it because he owes me for something, so I don't recommend that method."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Have I ever lied to you? Either way, I'm holding a gun to Kaminari's head now. I recommend you release my account or he is gone." Obviously, that's false. I just like drama.

"We both know you are lying."

"Come on, this ain't hard. Just fork it over and I will return everybody."

"You can only keep them for so long."

"I would like to remind you of who you are talking to. I'm giving you five seconds to withdraw that last line or they are never going to return to UA again. They'll go to Shiketsu instead and be taught by Ms. Joke."

Shouta sighs over the line, "Fine. Come on now."

"Release my bank account first."

"You're killing me."

"You were killing me first. I'm just returning the favor and making sure I survive."

"...give me five minutes. You better return when I get this done."

"I'll consider it."

Shouta doesn't even respond when he hangs up. Ouch. How do I deal with him again?

I huff, "Guys, get your shit together. I think Aizawa is giving me my account back."

Kaminari looks at me with surprised, "Really?! That quickly?"

"Yeah? He knows what I can do. Will he fight me over it later? Probably. But he knows when to not mess with me, and this is one of those instances."

Ochaco smiles, "Awesome! Do you think we will die if we return, though?"

"Aizawa is too lazy to deal with the law, so he won't. I promise my left arm!"

"Please don't."

Nemuri and Ashido get the message and put their large pile of dresses away.

Five minutes later, I get an email saying that my account is back. As it fucking should be!

"Alright, I had fun with y'all, but it's time to return to hell."

"Damn it," Everyone responds.

"Same, same."

When we return, we all receive a glare from the bitch who decided to mess with me in the first place. However, he can't say shit when Shouta did this to himself.

Oh, and I may or may not have brought that dress.

- - -

With that out of the way, it's back to usual business for us. Cases, bullying, and dealing with my ever-growing depression!

It's been a week since we have returned, and I am surprised it's not as dramatic as I thought it would be. I thought the HC would be at me like horny dogs desperate for their top detective back, but no. They have been chill.

Are they still overworking me? Obviously yes. I'm free labor. However, it could be worse. They aren't sending me out on the field yet, though that is in preparation I hear.

I ain't excited. I feel like Gretchen from Mean Girls where I just follow whatever orders are given to me, and I accept just to keep my place. Trash.

Whatever. I'll get paid one day.

Anyway, I am working on one of the cases in my dorm when Shouta comes in without knocking, "Be ready at the training grounds in ten minutes."

I glare at him, "Sir, why should I? You didn't even knock."

Shouta returns that glare and knocks on the open door three times.

"You petty bastard."

Shouta sighs, "Izuku, I just need you on the field. There's a class training that I need everyone involved in including you."

"Oh really?! Do I get to set off the bombs?!"

"No. You're participating in the exercise with your classmates."

"...sir, I know we're going again 1-B. You just want me to beat his class just to spite Vlad." I understand why. Vlad is a bitch, but still. Why can't Shouta deal with his own petty fights?

"Yes."

"You know Vlad will rebel like the bitch baby he is, right?"

"I don't care. You need practice anyway. Don't change into your hero costume. Stick with your UA uniform."

"I feel like I should be allowed my hero suit since I am missing my arm."

"That reminds me: don't bring the arm either. Just what you wear when you are a TA."

"Can I drop out of high school while I am at it?" I ask because these rules are ridiculous.

Shouta leaves while I am saying that. Fucking bitch.

Seeing how I am already in uniform, it doesn't take long for me to arrive at the field on top of a building where my peers are.

"Izuku, you're with Uraraka, Ashido, and Mineta," Shouta quickly explains when I arrive.

I nod, "Cool. Sounds like fun!"

"Give me your phone."

"Why?"

"You're not allowed to hack the camera bots or anything for that matter."

"Okay...so I can't hack. I don't have my weapons. I don't have my arm. Do I get anything?"

"Yes," Shouta pulls out- wait, is that a fucking gun?!

HOLD UP! THIS HOE DOESN'T WANT ME USING ANYTHING ELSE, BUT HE WANTS ME TO USE A GUN?!

Shouta sees my expression, "It's fill with darts that temporarily shuts off a person's quirk factor. I wouldn't give you actual bullets."

"Sir, you're still giving me a gun," I walk through the crowd slowly yet dramatically, "A gun. You could have given me anything else. Fuck, you could have given me your scarf! Yet, you give me a gun." Yeah, I'm getting attention now, but that is the point.

"You know how to use my scarf well enough. I'm expanding your skillset."

"To include guns?"

Shouta facepalms, "Izuku, it's the only weapon that you don't have much experience with that would even out the field. If I give you something you have more experience with, you could take down everyone by yourself with your techniques. I'm making you think."

"...but I'm missing an arm. And you're giving me a gun. And I got striked by lightning recently. I deserve sympathy." And I completely agree with my own sentiment. I deserve the sympathy card for the trauma I have. Too bad Shouta doesn't see it my way.

Shouta is just done with my shit at this point. He groans and goes to join Vlad, Nemuri, and Yagi.

Wait, why are the other two here? Like, I get Vlad. But do Nemuri and Yagi have nothing else to do?

Well, Yagi is retired. But Nemuri could take my cases instead of watching us fight.

UGH!

With a huff, I join my teammates' side to chat and figure something out. I don't know what, but we'll figure it out. That's how my goddamn life works now anyway.