Today is the day that 19 of the 20 students become legal heroes, hopefully. Well, they are taking the first step anyway. The first step is to pass the provisional license exam. The exam is divided into two parts. The first part is what I call natural selection, where they get rid of the scraps. This is randomized, but the idea is the same; pin everybody against each other and have them get rid of themselves. It's like the hunger games except for the lack of death. The second part is where the remaining work on the rescue of civilians while fighting some villain. You start with a max score, and every mistake causes you to lose points. This can range from injuring a civilian more to not comforting them correctly.

Guess whose going to fail that part?! Me! The same person who continually causes the elder in his dorm to throw up blood! I'm going to hope my acting skills are up to par.

Don't worry; we aren't even close to the exams. It's two in the morning, and I'm at my job at this time, stalking teenagers. Before you call me out, let me explain. I'm in the security room right now to watch over all the dorms plus more. With my unlimited energy, Nezu concluded that it would be a good idea to assign me as the security leader. I'm in charge of making sure the students don't leave their dorms to go fuck their classmates.

Or kill, I guess. The main job is that if villain breaks in, I'm supposed to alert and fight. That hasn't been a problem yet. The problem that I have run into a couple of times is students going to see one another. Does that mean I face them myself? No. Do I look like I want to walk in on the miracle of life? I don't. I send robots to deal with them and to drag them back to their rooms. Then, they have to deal with Nezu.

Nobody wants to deal with Nezu. After a couple of rounds, there have been no problems out there. The only thing that happens is the beep at around two, which is when Shouta arrives.

Inside is a different issue. It's boring in here, and I'm here for eight hours! I do Stain's routine for speed for an hour. Then I grade everyone's bullshit, which takes an average of two hours depending on the assignments. Out of pure boredom, I would clean the already clean place for an hour somehow. From there, I work on these dumbass cases that everyone can figure out, but do they?

NO! NO, THEY DON'T!

"BEEP!" One of the monitors goes off. I look up to see Shouta entering UA. Honestly, watching him go to his room is more entertaining than these cases. Once I get that other license, I'm telling them to shove their cases up their asses. THEY ARE SO EASY THAT I CAN DO IT IN MY SLEEP IF I DID SLEEP!

Wait, why isn't Shouta going to his apartment? It looks like he's going toward the security room?

FUCK, WHAT DID I DO NOW? THINK, DUMBASS, THINK!

I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG TODAY! FUCK!

Knock Knock

Alright, Izuku, you need to act natural.

"Come in!" The door opens to reveal a tired Shouta, " What are you doing here? Are you hurt? Did I do something-"

"Calm down, problem child. I'm fine. As far as I know, you have done nothing wrong unless you have something to admit now?" I shake my head, " It's about tomorrow. More like later today." Oh. I can work with that.

"Shouldn't you sleep first?"

"This is the only time you aren't distracted."

"True, but you sure this can't wait?"

"Brat, I'm fine."

"I'm just checking! What did you want to talk about?"

"Your hero name. You still haven't told me anything."

"It's Big Daddy!" He gives me the most unamused look ever.

"You're actual name."

"That is my actual name."

"I know, for a fact, you would not want to stick with that."

"Come on!"

"Do you really want me calling you that?"

"It's not like your yelling, 'skinny pee-pee, stop beating that guy off!' and I will be like, 'no worries, I'm beating myself!'"

Shouta sighs and goes to sit in the spare chair, " Problem child, I never wanted to hear that. Are you done with your games now?"

I decide to get straight to the point, "Virus." It takes a moment for him to recover from the roller coaster I just put him. When he does, he watches me with a curious look in his eye.

"May I ask why?"

"A virus can take over a computer like me, and it's a menace like me." Shouta hums.

"I'll accept it. There is no dramatics? No explosions for the revealing the name?"

"Thank god because I had nothing else! Also, no. I'm not always dramatic." He shakes his head before sitting up and looking over me.

"When was the last time you rested?"

"I don't remember, and don't bother trying. I won't sleep in here. You need to sleep more than me. Go. I'll be fine, Sho." Shouta huffs before standing up.

"Still waiting for the day you pass out."

"When do you have a free night?"

"Tomorrow. You'll sleep then and not play with your machines in your room?"

"I'll try."

"I'm taking your word for it. See you in a few hours."

---

Oh boy, is this going to be fun! We are stepping off the bus for our exam when my fellow classmates are already shivering like pussies. I mean, I get we are the only first-year class here. Typically, we don't take these till year two.

WELL FUCK THAT! WE BREAK STANDARDS! PLUS FUCKING ULTRA!

"I-I think I can do it," Mineta whimpers, the wimpiest of us all.

Shouta, being the fucking dad he is, bends down and tells him, " Not think, can, " He stands up, facing the rest of the class, " This is your first step to becoming a pro-hero. Once you pass this, you break from your eggshell and become chicklings, semi-pro heroes. Do your best."

Kaminari tries to start our quote, "Plus-"

Only to be ruined.

"ULTRA!" We all turn around to see this dude Shiketsu High, UA's rival school. Oh wait, he's familiar. I recognize his face from when I hacked UA to look at their recommendation list. He continues by slamming his fucking head into the ground, which causes actual damage, " I AM SO SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR SPEECH! I JUST WANTED TO SAY IT ONCE! I AM EXTREMELY HONORED TO COMPETE AGAINST UA STUDENTS! I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!" I notice him look at Todoroki before walking off to join his class with blood going down his forehead.

And ya'll say I'm dramatic!

"Aizawa-sensei, do you know who he is?" Uraraka asks.

He responds, giving you the full story, "Yoarashi Inasa, he took the recommendation exam and passed with the highest scores. He then declined"

"Higher than Todoroki!?" The class exclaims amongst themselves.

"Why would someone give up that position?" Sero asks. I shrug. I looked at the footage, and I'm willing to admit his quirk is powerful. He has reasonable control of it as well. While they recover from the news, another voice breaks through.

"OH, ERASER! IS THAT YOU ERASER!?" I see him visibly flinch. He looks like he's about to kill somebody.

I grin and pull out my phone to record. This is going to be great. I look to see Mrs. Joke, someone I like already! Anyone who makes him suffer is a good friend of mine! Her quirk makes anybody laugh. Does that mean her humor is good?

No. It just means Joke can make people laugh. Looking at her now, she has green eyes and hair. Sure, the hair is more of a peppermint green, but that makes me wonder if I'm related to her. That combo isn't common, you know! I can see the gears rolling in Todoroki's head as he looks between us.

Anyway, back to their conversation.

"I've seen you on TV and at the sports festival. Let's get married!" I'm sorry, Shouta, but this is amazing.

"No." He scoffs. At this point, I'm laughing at his pain and suffering. He has the nerve to glare at me with his quirk on. Like that benefits you.

"No? Good one! Oh, hi, Izuku!" I walk over to join them with a devious smirk. Shouta is looking at me, confused.

"What up?! Sorry I haven't texted you today. I got distracted with life being a - OUCH, WHAT THE HELL, MAN!?" Shouta just whacked me upside the head!

"The least you can do is control yourself while you're here. Now, how do you know Joke?"

"Well, I hacked into your phone."

"Uh-huh."

"And I noticed her number with a lack of response from you. So I texted her with my number and told her to text me."

He sighs, " How long?"

"Two months at least. Also, this isn't my conversation. You still have to accept Joke's marriage proposal." I step back before he can hit me, waving to Joke as I join the jaw-smacked class.

"You two are unbearable."

Then Tsu has to call him out, " You seem close, Sensei." YOU GO, GIRL!

Joke grins, " Yep! Our agencies used to be right next to each other! In our cycle of helping and being helped, our mutual love for each other bloomed-" Then Shouta has to cut her off. I was having fun here!

"It did not. Joke, since you're here, that means..."

"That's right. Come here, everyone! It's UA! Ketsubutsu Academy, second years, Class 2!" One of the kids from the class runs over to us as I turn off my phone. He has the same hair-style as me except its brown hair, brown eyes, and he's taller than me.

Of fucking course.

He grabs my hands and looks me in the eyes.

It takes everything not to punch him, especially when it seems like he's trying to throw us off. I see the more emotional students tense around me as they watch, probably thinking I will punch the guy. Shouta is specifically watching me.

"I'm Shindo! UA this years had trouble after trouble, so it must've been tough!" Finally, he lets go of my hands, and I proceed to put on germ-x while he continues his stupid speech, " A heart of fortitude is what I believe all heroes should have from now on! From among you, there's Bakugo, who experienced being the center of the Kamino incident. " He then raises his hand, offering a handshake to Bakugo.

Why the fuck didn't I get the offer? Why was I forced to be touched?

Disrespectful dude continues, " Today, I'll do my best while learning from you!" Bakugo decides to do revenge for me by slapping his hang away. For once, I approve. Other students come over to study us. One girl even asks for Todoroki's autograph! Jeez, I get we stand out, but fuck off!

Shouta, bless that man for once, catches our attention, "Hey, change into your costumes and go to the orientation."

"Yes, sir!" Everybody but me yells to him.

I have different plans, " Wait, so there's no brunch?" He stops to look at me.

"Where did you get that idea from?"

"You talked about little chicklings. In my term, that translates into food."

He pinches the bridge of his nose, " I have my fruit pouches; that's it, brat."

"Damn it."

"No cursing. Pass your test, and I will get you something before the other exam you have to take."

"Okay!" I'm easy to satisfy when it comes to food. As long as I see it made in front of me or take those damn meds Sho got me, I'm good!

---

We are in our costumes, and I think I found Shouta's twin. The man who is commentating this looks and sounds more tired than him.

The man starts his speech once everyone is in the room,

" Well then, let's do that provisional license thing..." add drunkness into the mix, " I'm Mera from the Heroes Public Safety Commission. Frankly, all 1,540 examinees here will have to win through a free-for-all exercise! Our society is currently said to be saturated with heroes. Many have shown doubts about the current state of heroes. Well, as a private citizen, no matter what the motivation, to tell someone risking their lives to save others not to seek any reward is...It's a ruthless story of these modern times...the result of many heroes working hard together to help people and defeat villains is so short that it'd make you sick. Accordingly, what you'll be tested on is speed! The first hundred to fulfill the requirements will pass"

Tsu does the math for us, "This means less than one percent will actually pass."

That's expected. With Japan struggling to stand, you can't risk throwing random people out there. I mean, you can, but you want the minimum damage and maximum effort. Now is not the time to be taking those risks.

Mera continues, " The examinee will put three of these targets on his or her body. They can not be put on the soles of your feet or armpits. The person who lights up your third target will have it count as their defeat." This is going to be fun! Suddenly, the walls around us fall, revealing my playing field with all sorts of styles around, "I believe you all have a terrain that you like and dislike. Anyway, we arranged for the terrain to be announced like that. You have one minute to move." With that, the guy gets out of here, and everyone starts scrambling except us. We put on our targets.

I'm immature, so I put two on each of my tits and one on my crotch. Kill me. Anyway, I look around and think of everything I have.

I'm in my public costume, so I have CAT right next to me along with Patchy. I have my electric gloves, a bunch of different types of bombs, throwing knives, nanobots, and my extendable nunchucks that I have been practicing recently.

Something tells me I can't kill them, so I have to hold back on my fun.

I run through everything I know through my head.

1. Every person has three targets. Once those targets are lit, you're out.

2. You can not have them on your feet or pits. He never specified that you couldn't cover them.

3. We know nobody's quirk. It takes me a moment, but I realize that they know ours through the sports festival. That could be an advantage if used correctly.

4. No rules of how to use your quirks, or gear in my case. That means you can play dirty.

5. Everyone knows I'm quirkless. That probably makes me the biggest target in our class.

Want to have your best bet at winning?

"It would be best for us to stay like this. However, I know some of you will separate, so whoever wants to go alone, go ahead." I state as I zip up my coat to cover two of my targets. I will give them one. After a moment, Bakugo, Kirishima, and Kaminari leave as a group, and Todoroki goes by himself, "Alright then, let's move out!" I start leading us out of the center-field towards the dirt tower. While we run, I put on my mask, something I haven't used in so long, turn on my heat vision, and see them hiding.

They are going to jump us, aren't they? I can work this to our advantage. I can hear the countdown starting. I slow down to stop us in the middle of the madness.

"What's the deal, Izuku?!" Mineta freaks out.

"Here's the deal: We are going to be jumped. We need as much room as possible, thus why we are here. Right now, we need to get rid of them as quickly as possible, and I have an idea. Uraraka, come here." Uraraka looks at me, confused before walking over. I pull out a second pair of glasses, a copy to the ones I use to control my robots, and put them on her. "CAT, make Uraraka Ochaco your temporary master. Then suit-up on her."

CAT meows, and the robot transforms Uraraka into an ultimate being.

"Izuku, what's going on?!" Uraraka asks as she looks at me with shock. I don't let random people play with my robots, after all.

"Okay, basics: think, and you will move where you want. This will make you much faster. Your goal is to pick up as many balls as possible, float them in the air, and then drop them on the cowards. Everyone else, we will distract."

"Wait, so like I did with Bakugo?"

"Yip yip! Nanobots, on." Everyone prepares to defend, "Everyone, let's plus ultra these extras!" Taking a page out of Bakugo's book.

"PLUS ULTRA!" "STOP CALLING PEOPLE EXTRAS!" If you don't know who that second statement is from, I'll be surprised. It's Iida.

"First test, start!"

On cue, everyone pops out of their hiding places, and balls start flying at us. A reckless plan as that sacrifices their ammo, but if it works for me, alright! I pull out my nunchucks and start dashing forward, avoiding the balls as I only have one revealed on my dick.

Of course, the touchy boy from earlier is leading this and is now trying to distract, "Who would have thought we would be going against a quirkless to become a hero? A cocky one at that?! Sure, you've been shown to do some work, but I think this is all just a pity party towards you! We will bring you down from there, Midoriya!"

I grin under my mask, take a deep breath, and clear my mind.

"Wait, where did he go?!" "I don't know!" "I thought he was quirkless?!"

I extend my nunchucks, wrapping both around the idiot to catch him off guard before throwing him at another. Instinctively, I imagine a barrier, and the nanobots appear to cover me. I take a deep breath before laughing.

"AND YOU SAY I'M COCKY?! THE COCKY ONE JUST GOT YOU, YOU COCK-SUCKER!" I turn my back on the barrier to notice a girl with extendable fingers approaching me. I slide to the left, hearing Patchy slam into someone there as they are on defense mode. I swing my nunchuck to wrap around her wrist, tug to make her lose her balance, and pull her to the ground. I take that momentum by turning her to hit another person.

The whole point of me doing this? I'm trying to give the others as much space as possible to come up with a plan.

I growl when they start approaching me. Kick to the left. Get on the ground. Focus on my surroundings despite the earthquake. Avoid-IS THAT SPIT?! CALL ME OUT ON QUIRK DISCRIMINATION IF THIS IS YOUR QUIRK, BUT THAT'S DISGUSTING! I can hear someone bashing the nanobots behind me.

Okay, so maybe this isn't my most fabulous plan.

"PATCH, SCREECH ATTACK!" Patchy flies in front of me and emits a high-pitch noise, which forces the kids to cover their ears. That gives me a moment to recover. A large bash echoes from behind me, and something grabs the back of my jacket to pull me towards them. I drop the nunchuck in my right hand and slam it into my chest while turning it on. Sparks explodes around my body, causing whoever was grabbing me to let go. I spin around and kick whoever it was in the face only to fucking miss. Forcing my body back to the ground, I swing my only nunchuck at them, and, using the electric gloves, have the electricity flow through the nunchucks to electrocute them.

Patchy stops its attack, and I run. I'm willing to sacrifice my nunchuck. The nanobots are crawling with me, so I don't care about them. I'm not willing to go against fifty kids anymore, especially when the one that grabbed me has a kangaroo quirk.

And I thought kangaroos boxing was a myth. It's true! I'm not willing to get kicked by one of those bastards!

"Hey, Izuku, can you hear me?" That sounds like Momo!

"Am I going fucking insane, or did you get through the communication lines?"

"No, you hear me. With your stupid distraction, we were able to create a fort. We had to. You have to fly in with Patch. Say your command while I explain."

"Patchy, wing mode! What do you mean you created a fort? Where is it?" Patchy slams into my back and start to transform when I feel the tips of my fingers start growing painful, slowly crawling up my arms. Before I go entirely lose touch, I slam the nunchucks on my belt and turn around to receive a pussy punch to the face. Not enough to damage anything. Just enough cause some pain.

I can't help myself as I look at this emo girl, " A pain quirk, huh? Kinky." She growls at me like a little kitty cat. I take the chance and fly off, watching everyone around me as I dodge a stray ball here and there.

"You're flying, right?" Momo asks, seeming a little uncomfortable.

"Yeah. Update me, Momo."

"Your plan worked at first, but CAT started malfunctioning. We had to do an emergency shutdown on it and get Uraraka out of it."

"What do you mean?"

"It started disobeying Uraraka. We don't know if that it's the programming or what. We have Jiro, Shoji, and Koda for surveillance. We have Aoyama, Ashido, Tsu, Sero, Mineta, Hagakure, and Tokoyami defending from the base while collecting balls. Then, we have Ojiro, Sato, and Iida outside fighting. Uraraka is collecting, and I believe we should be able to attack now."

"Then do it. You don't need me there. I'll bring the extras over so we can land more hits. Once it stops, ya'll need to get out and take advantage of that distraction."

"Got it, Izuku."

I fly higher when I see the balls floating midair, the pain disappearing with it. I make sure I'm above them, but my distance from the group in case I need to attack again. However, I'm more aware now. CAT would never malfunction like that. That has to be someone's quirk. I see their base, and I smirk. There were somehow able to force the ground down some to make a bunker. Iida, Ojiro, and Sato are running back to base. Then, the balls start raining down, causing the ants below me to start dropping.

Mera announces, "Uraraka Ochaco has passed." As soon as that storm stops, a new one appears as my teammates hope out. Obviously, with all the new ones, Mera gives up partially, " Iida Tenya, Ojiro Mashirao, Shoji Mezo, Tokoyami Fumikage, Sero Hanta, Hagakure Toru, Ashido Mina, Asui Tsuyu, Yaoyorozu Momo, Mineta Minoru, Sato Rikido, Koda Koji, Jiro Kyoka, and Aoyama Yuga have all passed." I see the majority of my class walkout in success.

My turn. I start flying down when the wings suddenly stop before wrapping around me and start crashing down. I start freaking out as I slam the emergency button.

It's not working.

"COME THE FUCK ON!" I scream as I prepare for landing. My shoes are shock-absorbent, so they can take some damage. However, I'm expecting some pain. When I crash, I grit my teeth as a shockwave spreads from my barely standing feet.

The pain isn't as bad as I expected it to be. I press the emergency button again. This time, Patchy breaks off of me and falls on the ground, becoming a bird again before shutting down.

"Your robots are fun to play with, you know; however, they take a lot of energy." I look up to see a small boy who looks like he has been playing way too much Fortnite. I'm not too surprised that there isn't anyone else here. UA is already out, so they need to get others.

"You can control them, huh? That's your quirk?" He nods before running at me with this massive hammer.

Yeah, like I'm letting myself get hit with that. It slows him down too much. It's not suitable for someone his size. Gritting through the pain, I manage to grab the hammer from him and throw it to the side. I pull out my ball and quickly smash his final target. I look at him, " Might want to work on something better adapted for your size. If you want to do heavy damage with a hammer, don't do a Fortnite hammer." Damn, this kid looks like he is about to cry.

Like I give a damn! I start stumbling as my legs hate me towards some people to find my final target. Thankfully, I find this random guy suck on one of Mineta's balls (not that way). Without sympathy, I slam my ball on his targets, watching the guy wailing. Still, all I hear is that sweet sound of victory, and I spoke too early about the pain because now I feel the throbbing pain in my legs.

"Midoriya Izuku has passed."

TAKE THAT, BITCHES!