UA is hell.

Yes. You read that previous sentence correctly. Why?

BECAUSE I CAN DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! LIKE, HALF THE SHIT I NORMALLY DO IS IN THE RULE BOOK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I WAS FORCED TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF BREAKING THE RULES?! TOO MANY FUCKING TIMES! IT LAST ONLY TEN MINUTES, BUT THAT TIME BUILDS UP!

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CAN DO IN TEN MINUTES?! MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!

They're on the right track on how to punish me, but damn!

I will say that has one benefit, though: I'm starting to build an immunity to Nemuri's quirk. That's how much they are knocking me out. The time of being asleep is going down, and it takes more to knock me out like drugs.

If I'm correct, however, Nemuri is being forced. I don't know what they are hanging over her, whether it be her costume taken away or her sex toys (don't ask how I know that), but she is forced. She and Hizashi let me get away with whatever. Nezu sometimes. I only get in trouble if the others are around.

Either way, I'm issuing a rebellion! With my ultimate creativity, I have built the symbol of resistance and set it in the middle of the dining table of the teacher's apartments: the rule book ashes continually burning in a glass box.

I think I did my job well there.

But let me tell you something: the drama doesn't end there. Damn, a lot of colons are being used today. Anyway, I wish it does, but it doesn't.

The students have been going nonstop trying to learn the relation between Shouta and I. Now, I wouldn't mind this if it wasn't for the fact that they are damn determined to know! The worst part is that I can do nothing about it! For some damn reason, I don't get the right to give students detention! Shouta can, but not me! I swear he's trying to torture me. For the shit I pull, I'm not surprised. But still, I have a life to live here, mate! Thankfully, I spend less time with them because I'm a teacher's assistant.

Well, with all this stress, I decided to break out of UA and go to Mom's house. I already finished grading everything the teachers gave me, so I have nothing to do here. I even got the helmet fixed! I'm just waiting for the parts to be replicated to build CAT 2.0 or something. I don't know on that shit yet. Maybe DOG will finally be a thing for all I know.

I arrive at the house and knock on the door because that's called being polite. Mom should be off today if I remember her schedule correctly. I'm glad I did because she opens the door, noticing me and pulling me into a hug.

"Oh, Izu! I'm surprised you're here today! Come in!" Mom exclaims as she welcomes me in. The first thing I notice is how disorganized it is. I'm about to set to work because I'm not allowing my mom to live in a dump. I was going to.

Until this ball of brown fur crashes into Mom. Then it looks up, revealing this black-faced animal. Mom giggles before lifting the mass fur ball into her arms. It's about ten pounds, probably. It takes me a moment to recover.

"Mom, why the flip do you have a bear cub in your apartment?" Before you laugh it me, it seriously looks like a bear cub.

Too bad, Mom does laugh at me, "Izu, this is a puppy, not a bear cub! It's a Saint Bernard/Golden Retriever Mix" Thinking about it. It does look like a dog. The little fucker has the nerve to look at me and wag its overly fluffy tail. Don't get me wrong; I don't mind animals. I just don't like them in my home because they leave fur, get dirty, and are overall not clean creatures. That's why I never had a pet. Hold up, wait a moment.

"Those are both large breeds of dogs." Like, Golden Retrievers I don't know. I think that's more in the medium range. BUT A SAINT BERNARD? I HAVE SEEN THE PICTURES OF THEM IN THE SNOW! THEY ARE SOME BIG FUCKERS!

"It called for me," I swear if this dog has a quirk, I'm leaving.

"Not literally, I hope."

"No, no, no! Its eyes did."

"Uh, how?"

"Something you don't understand, my heartless child." The puppy reaches its paw towards me, "Aw, I think he wants you!"

"Tell it I don't want it." I get hit with her free hand.

"Don't be rude when it has done nothing to you!"

"It has invaded my territory, and now I must obtain my territory once more."

"You're not jealous of the puppy, are you?"

"I'm not!" Why would I be jealous of a dog? Messy thing, " How about you hold the doggo, and I will clean this place up?"

"You're really not going to hold the puppy?" The puppy looks at me.

"No. I'll clean your house instead."

"I guess I can take that."

For the next hour, Mom and I chatter mainly about what to name the replacement me. Before you say 'dumbass, a dog isn't going to replace you,' I will have you know that my mom has been obsessing over this puppy for the past hour. It's getting away with biting her! I can't blame her, but still, I don't get the cute factor. Anyway, I recommended all these fantastic names, and she didn't accept any of them!

Whiskey - "I'm not naming a dog after an alcoholic drink when my son was an alcoholic." Calling me out.

Bear - "Too obvious."

Serial - She agreed to it initially because she thought I meant the food cereal. However, when she learned I meant a serial killer, she said no and whacked me upside the head.

Killer - "Too aggressive." Sigh...I hope that if this dog does anything useful in its life, it's to protect my mom.

Dog - Nope.

Doggy - "Are you kidding me?"

Little Pup - This got a conversation going. Good thing I finished cleaning!

"Of all names you could come up with, why Little Pup?"

"I saw this AU of Undertale called Mafiatale, and a child was called Little Pup who then turned into Big Pup."

"So a mafia thing?"

"Imagine this: your friends come over, and you call for 'Little Pup.' They expect this cute little dog, but this bear comes out instead. The perfect trick!"

"No, I'm no-" She's cut off by a phone call. When Mom looks at the collar, she gives a confused look before answer, " Hello Shouta, how are you? Yes, Izu is here. Why? Oh, I can do that. Talk to you later. Oh, and tell Izu to stop being jealous of the dog!" Well shit. First off, when did they get on first name terms? I guess if you're dealing with me, that's bound to happen quickly. Second, shit. Why isn't Shouta calling me, you may ask? Well, he can't because I have him blocked at the moment. I glare at the phone, take it, and press it to my ear.

"What's up, Sho?" I get straight to the point. He wouldn't call me if he didn't need me, after all.

I hear a sigh, " I don't know where to start. I will clear this punishment if you come back and do something for me." I can't help but get worried. Fuck my anxiety, but if he is willing to clear consequences, it must be something right?

"I need you to make official documents stating that, when signed, they can't tell anyone else without permission." Why is he asking me? I thought we already got that done for All Might. He has to be pretty desperate for something to ask me for something like that.

"We already did All Might's papers though-"

"Not for All Might, for us. The students keep coming up with creative ways of asking me to avoid getting into trouble. I will tell them if that's in place." I purse my lips for a moment. I'm still reluctant, but it's his choice.

"Why me?"

"I know you can be much more concise and strict on it than a normal lawyer can. I'm not permitting you to do it all the time, but this once, you can."

". . .I can get them within two hours."

"Understood. See you soon." With that, Shouta hangs up. I look at Mom.

"Welp, I got some illegal stuff to do! I'll see you this weekend, alright?" Mom glares at me before shaking her head.

"Don't get caught. Love you, dear!"

"Love you too!"

And the second point, I OUTLASTED SHOUTA, THE PUSSY! HE COULD HAVE LASTED LONGER, BUT NOPE! HAHA!

---

Warning: This is a bunch of information explaining why I can do lawyer papers.

Most people, at this point, maybe wondering, "Hey Izuku, can you do legal documents legally?"

And to that, my fellow stalkers, is a no. As Izuku Midoriya anyway.

Let me explain.

You see, I technically have multiple degrees ranging from programming to law to science to fucking medical.

So people can stop shit-talking me over the 'doing surgery on my arm incident.' I may have no experience, but I know what I'm doing!

Moving forward, those are not under Izuku Midoriya. Don't you find it odd I'm at UA with all these stupid degrees that do nothing for me? Well, that's because all those degrees are under a different name.

Mikumo Akatani.

This isn't just a person in the system, though. This is a living person. I went to the school as Mikumo. Heck, I have a whole personality just for him! For him, I can be calm. I call it the 'taking two pints (1 liter)' character. What does that mean? Well, if I have to be Mikumo, I take two pints of blood. It wears me down, but it settles me down enough so I can get the job done!

Thankfully, I don't have to dress like him or draw blood because it's doing paperwork only. That becomes a bitch, mainly because I have to change my height with silts, and the blood draw is a little inconvenient. Thinking about it, I haven't done anything related to him in a while. I only really use that form for more degrees and if people disrespect me for being quirkless. Mikumo has an intelligence quirk (totally fake, but it works), so they have to respect me then.

Perfect plan. But what's the point?

Besides wasting my time, it's an emergency identity in case I ever need to run! It would plant a target on my back if I did it as Izuku, so I do a fake person. Everything is secure, so if they do try to look for me, they will find shit.

Well, it's still illegal as the person is a fake, but the actual process is legal; therefore, it all works out!

Shouta asked for something rather simple. I already have the basic format of it. I only have to do the specifics now, so time to lock myself away!

---

Time to present my secret in front of my stalker peers! I have the papers done. I have a complicated relationship beside me. I think we're ready to do this! Everyone looks at me strangely, probably wondering why I am here of all people. I'm supposed to be All Might's slave right now. Nice, right?

Shouta clears his voice, making everyone shut up. I start passing out the forms to let him speak, " Listen up. You kept asking, so we decided we will tell you our relationship. However, similar to All Might's case, this is confidential and requires you to sign. If you do not sign, you must leave the room. You may only discuss this amongst everyone in this room," Momo is quick to raise her hand, the smart girl, " Yes?"

"Why is this confidential?" Always question the man, girlfriend!

"That will be explained once you sign the form. I made sure there is nothing else involved." Blunt and to the point. Good job, Sho. You don't want to spread anything before the actual signing. I watch the kids skim the pages, sign, and I quickly pick them up. I set them on Shouta's desk for now. I can officialize it later.

I notice how Shouta seems off. I can't blame him. I rather not spread this, but this could be used as a sign of trust.

I nod to Shouta, and he continues, " To answer Yaoyorozu's question, the reason this is confidential is that Izuku's and I's connection can and has got us into trouble. It can be used against us. That is the reason we have not shared it. I rather not have Izuku in more danger as is as he is currently the most wanted from the League of Villains," I take note of how the students seem to be paying more attention now, " Izuku and I have known each other since he was 12...I don't know how much you want to reveal your past, so you explain." Shouta states as he leans against his desk and looks at me.

"Fine, you dumbass. As Shouta has stated, we have known each other since I was 12. The first time we met, I don't remember because I was drunk and possibly high- " Iida is quick to cut me off.

"You drank!?" Of course, he worries about that.

"Yip-a-roo, macaroon! Honestly, it shouldn't be surprising at this point. I was an alcoholic at 12 years old! Impressive, right? Anyway, the first time he arrested me, but I escaped. A few months later, we met again, me not knowing the again part, and we become the gossip sisters! Slowly, Shouta convinced me to get off alcohol and cigarettes since I did those bitches too. From then on, we somehow grew, and he finally accepts the connection!" Shouta glares at me. I swear I see Todoroki breaking mentally.

Iida is the first to question, " What is the 'connection?'" Well, attempts.

Ashido is quick to blast him out, "How close are you two?! How do you explain it?!" I asked Sho this question before all this so that we can have an answer.

"For Iida's question, I can't explain. It's like a bestie thing. As for Ashido, I consider him my best friend and brother." Shouta cuts the questions.

"Izuku forgot to mention that I had partial custody of him. When he came to UA, every one of you saw how troublesome he is. He still is, but he is better. In an attempt to settle him, I asked for partial custody, starting with full custody and, over time, gaining days back with his mom. She agreed, and from there, I welcomed myself into hell. He was with me three days a week and his mother four days a week, but I have full custody with the dorm system in." FUCKING OFFENDED MATE!

"THAT'S SO CUTE!" Hagakure and Ashido scream. Shouta is quick to shut them up with a glare and his quirk on.

Momo claps her hands together, " I have to admit that you two hid your relationship well. If anything, you two seemed like you hate each other. I would have thought he was close to Present Mic or even Midnight. Never you, though."

Jiro corrects her, " Izuku has to be close to those two too. You see how they act together with their concerts."

"I am. It's different compared to Shouta." I clear. They nod.

Then Mineta has to ruin it all.

"Wouldn't that be favoritism? He could have been given the grades he got." That makes the class shut up for a moment.

Not me!

"Uh, no offense, but if I weren't happy with my grade, I would have just hacked it. Besides, Nezu would call Shouta out if he was. " True. Kirishima sees an opportunity to defend me.

"If anything, he probably goes through the most work. You see how he assigns Izuku more reps than all of us. Aizawa-sensei breaks limits. He wouldn't hold him down like that. That's so unmanly, dude."

Good thing that got Mineta trembling like a grape about to turn into wine. Otherwise, I will fight and win. I'm not scared of the knockoff version of the animals you throw at the walls and watch them stick.

Shouta shakes his head, " End of class. Go back to the dorms except for Izuku."

"Fuck, what did I do now?" I ask. I watch the kids scramble out of the room, and I don't blame them.

"Nothing yet. Why are you jealous of a dog?"

"I'm not."

"You're mom says otherwise."

"Mom is teasing me. I wouldn't touch the dog because dogs are dirty."

He sighs, "I'm not even going to bother." With that, we head back to our dorm.

---

"Izuku, want to explain the fire going on in the kitchen?" Shouta asks, watching the fire.

"Well, you see the ashes?" Might as well make this amusing.

"Uh-huh?"

"Those are the ashes of the rules book."

"...you're impossible."

"I'll take it as a compliment!"

Hizashi comes in from his apartment, going to cling to Shouta, " You have to give him credit because that's pretty creative. Won't burn down."

I smirk, "I mean, the table needed something. I think fire has the perfect aesthetic."

"Only you would think that," Shouta states tired.

"Nezu would agree."

"Nezu doesn't count."

"Maijima might agree."

"Prove it." I, of course, pick Maijima's lock, disappointed at the mess of the place before grabbing the man and dragging him out.

"You think that's a nice centerpiece?" I point to the fire at the table.

Maijima sighs, " Aizawa, something is wrong with your kid."

"I'm well aware."

"BITCH, I'M RIGHT HERE!" Yes, I'm salty.

"Glad you heard it. I would have been worried otherwise."

"You're lucky Hizashi is behind you, or I would bring it on like the terrorists did the Twin Towers, you bottom."

"Why do we keep you around? That whole sentence just wrong."

"It's the cute-factor mixed with some genius that attracts the eye."

"You forgot the sociopath part."

"I may be a sociopath to you, but ya'll are psychopaths to me. Besides, do you really want to release me out into the world?"

"The worst part is that I want to release you for freedom, but I know you would take over the world within a week."

"I feel underestimated. Give me three days."

"Go, do your thing. I won't get through to you. Stay out of trouble."

"What's trouble?"