When I said I was going to fuck some shit up, I was serious. But first, let me give you the real serious stuff. Well, serious in my case. You could probably give two fucks about it, but if you decided to stalk me this far in my life, you are obviously interested.

First off, Nezu is a lifesaver. If I wasn't for him convincing them that I could act sane because I'm actually a genius, I would have had to take the stupid sanity test. In addition to that, I have a little scene to show you. I can't really explain it here.

Snip Snappity

Yes, I'm that dramatic. Just pretend I am snapping and that a black and white movie comes on with this.

---

First Day Back At UA

You probably think I'm going to tell you all the class reactions of us being back, right? Nope because everyone kept on aggravating me. The Stain Incident was a big deal in there, and they kept questioning me because, well, insanity. Thankfully, I'm only stuck with them in homeroom and the hero course.

I walk into Nezu's office and sit in the chair across from him as usual. I honestly have no idea how he has time to teach me shit when he's the principal of UA. Still, he is intelligent, so he probably has it all figured out. He spins around in his too-large chair to face me.

"Ah, Izuku! Welcome back!" Nezu exclaims though I catch a certain glint in his eye. He has taught me that stalking people gains you the ability to read their souls. However, I have been around Nezu too long, so that could be it also.

"Good to be back from a free vacation from Shouta! Now, I know you're up to something, so talk." The rat chuckles before putting his serious face on.

"I see your analysis skills are coming along fantastically if you were able to catch that. However, I do have something to talk about with you specifically." Nezu pulls out his teacup, sits up, and faces me, looking me in the eye.

Welp, this is some serious shit. Nezu starts.

Before you read that junk, if you want a summary, I'll tell you one after this bull shit. I don't blame you for not wanting to read it because it is pretty much the same thing the dog says. This is pretty much for the nerds.

Skip to the dot after this dot if you don't want to read.

.

"I would first like to commend you with how you handled the Stain incident. If it wasn't for your quick ingenuity, we could have problems with villains wanting to join the League of Villains as it is believed the two sides collaborated. You and I both know that you did not prevent it entirely, but you did provide a strong argument to overshadow Stain's for most people. This, however, lays all the problems on you.

Midoriya Izuku, you are officially a target now. You are one of the few students I've had who managed to capture the public's eye quickly merely with how you act. At the Sports Festival, you proved that a quirkless can fight against someone with a quirk. At the Stain incident, you were a completely different person, especially with your aura. This has caused the public to become uneasy, though you smartly let out the results that you are quirkless, and that you are not related to Stain. That has given people some peace; however, they would still like for you to be analyzed for your sanity. This is entirely up to you, but I would personally recommend it.

For once, being quirkless could be saving you as they still believe you are weak.

Izuku, I need you to be extra careful. Usually, I would move you to the school; however, as you live with Eraserhead, you already have some protection along with yourself and CAT. For extra protection, I want you to make yourself a new defense weapon that you can legally carry around. It can be a taser or something unique. I need it powerful enough to allow you to fight in case something happens. In addition, I would like you to continue sparring with one of the teachers to keep your skills sharp. Do you understand?"

.

First, the dog. Now, the rat. Welp, at least I'm not forced to fight Shouta. That was a pain in the ass.

"Yes, rat. I already understand the consequences of my actions. I didn't know at the time, as I don't remember the incident itself. Or maybe I was? I'd rather not overthink this." Nezu nods.

"I know you do, but I just wanted to make sure. Now, time to get to work!"

Yeah, I'm not going to make you suffer my boring-ass class, so let me attempt to organize it for you.

1. I fucked up Stain's media plan. We all should know this. If you didn't, now you do.

2. I'm a target. Once again, expected. Too bad, the public is involved because they are worried that I have a quirk. I already took the test and disproved it.

3. Speaking of tests, Nezu recommends I get evaluated to settle the public further. I swear the world is becoming pussier (this is a word) with each generation. I'm not your biggest worry here, ya'll.

Okay, maybe I am but not yet, so settle down!

4. Finally, Nezu wants me to continue sparring and to make a new weapon to defend myself. It has to be legal. I wonder how many laws I can circle around with my weapons.

That's pretty much it. Let's skip back to current, shall we?

---

Present Bitch!

Let me tell you something: I got myself evaluated. I may or may not have done it for curiosity's sake. Yeah, I decided to risk my life to be sent to a psych ward by taking this test. I mean, might as well!

Basically, the instructor asked questions, and I sat there and answered them with a lie detector machine hook up to me. An example question would be, " Do you have a fascination with sharp objects?" We all know I carry around a knife, but obviously, I'm going to fucking lie.

If you admit to somebody you have a fascination with knives, you might as well be sent to the asylum right there. You probably think that 'Hey, I'm on a lie detector machine. They can detect a lie.' Well, it can.

To an extent.

Let me explain as you might as well learn something while you stalk my fucking life. You see, a lie detector machine does not pick up on lies but instead body signals. Specifically, signs that you are becoming nervous. If you're a nervous Suzie and you're completely innocent, you're fucked. It will pick up that you're lying. When you get nervous, your heart rate increases, your body language may stiffen, your breathing hitches, and you start sweating. I know the last one is gross. Now, if you are someone emotionless like my ass, you can pass this test with lying all over the place. It's almost pitiful how easy it is to pass.

Yes, I did. I lied about half the exam away. I did make sure to be reasonable, of course. I'm not stupid. If you smartly do it, you can pass the exam! You are welcome, future psychopaths! You now have a way to cheat the system! Once the results were released, the public finally chilled their tits a tiny bit.

Like damn, just calm down, bitches.

Now, on to MUCH more critical shit. Vital shit.

Hizashi's and Shouta's date! Yes, we are finally doing something about these desperate bitches! Don't worry, I have a plan! Remember before I went to Hosu that I took that nap, and Hizashi said he would give Shouta and me dinner if I do so?

Yeah, I'm taking advantage of that. The 'squad' is having dinner tonight. Yes, Nemuri is coming too, but more for my sanity reason. I'm not willing to be a third wheel, and I can do this with someone. I told her to bring a spare outfit and a wig. I won't specify it as it would ruin the whole surprise, but yeah. I told the boys to dress nicely. Does that mean I trust them to?

Fuck no!

Rephrase, I trust Hizashi to dress night. He is a fucking show host for god's sake. It's Shouta that is going to have some problems, and he and I are going to get it on like Donkey Kong.

---

"SHOUTA. WEARING. BLACK. FUCKING. SWEATPANTS. AND. A. SWEATER. IS. NOT. ACCEPTABLE. GET OUT OF YOUR EMO WEAR AND WEAR SOMETHING ACTUALLY FUCKING NICE, OR I WILL DRESS YOU MYSELF!" I am clapping between every word in the first sentence because drama.

"We're just eating."

"Yes, BUT I'M SITTING WITH YOU, AND YOUR APPEARANCE REFLECTS ON US!"

"Like your height reflects on us?" That fucking dipshit.

"I at least look fucking good, unlike the hobo beside me. I didn't get a choice for this height. YOU GET A CHOICE TO BE HOT, SO FUCKING BE IT!"

"...you are planning something, aren't you?" Shouta, Jesus Christ, just shut up and change into something lovely. This isn't hard! I'm trying to save your future of being a hobo, yet you aren't accepting it!

"No proof. The proof you will state would be estimations, not pure facts. You're just sticking shit together. Now, are you going to fix your mess of a self, or do I need to get involved? It's not like I'm asking you to shave. You just need to dress nice." The hobo has the nerve to huff at me before walking off, grumbling some bull shit I don't care about.

I'm saving your life here.

Meanwhile, I manage to get myself ready because I have a real fashion sense. I get on a short-sleeved white polo top with skinny black jeans and my signature red shoes. I make sure to unbutton that top button to look somewhat natural. Now my hair. Normal boys probably say done and leave.

Not my over-dramatic ass. Before you ask, yes, I can do hair. Starting off, let's minimize them curls. Curls are cute and all, but I want a more hot style. I may or may not have copied Todoroki's hairstyle. Like, it's fucking perfect. It should be perfect for me. Except it's not because I'm not Todoroki. THE AGONY! Basically, imagine me with Todorki's style but with light curls and a little more messy style. I still look bomb, though.

Damn, I'm hot. I am glad I'm buff. Otherwise, this would be awkward AF. I have my yellow book bag at the door as well because I need it for this to work.

No, I'm not hacking their relationship yet.

Knock Knock

Shouta better be looking decent. I'm keeping my standards low within reasoning. I open the door to reveal the hobo himself. He is wearing a white v-neck t-shirt with black pants and shoes. Better than before. He has done shit with his hair, so that needs work as well. Besides that, he made the right choice on that v-neck.

"Hey, welcome to society, man!" I had to. Shouta has not responded. In fact, he is actually looking me over surprised. He was probably expecting something worst.

"I'm surprised you can do that to your hair. Did you seriously steal Todoroki's style?" Oh yeah, that.

"So what if I did? Come on, you're missing something." I walk past him and head to his room before opening his closet. To anybody else, this is probably strange. To us, this is a weird-ass relationship that we are stuck with. I quickly shuffle through his clothes before I find the perfect fit and throw it at him.

"A leather jacket?" He asks as he slips it on. PERFECT, YAS! YOU ARE READY TO SLAY, MAN! I'm not going to say that out loud.

"Yes, there you go! You look like you match now! Alright, now go sit on the floor in front of the couch. I need to deal with satan on your head."

"My hair is fine." Who said you had a choice?

"I don't care. That was a demand. Now, move it before I use the same hair to drag you." Asshat groans and moves to the living room, "YOU'RE NOT THE KID HERE! GROW THE FUCK UP!" Shouta smartly shuts the fuck up.

Welp, we know who the breadwinner in this family is and who is the housewife. We don't even need to be married to see that.

Back on topic, I head to my room to grab a spare brush that I have never used. I go to find Shouta where he is supposed to be, which is the floor. Good man. I sit on the couch behind him, grab his hair, and start brushing it. Somehow, his hair feels smooth even with the knots.

"Gentle, you brat," Shouta complains.

"I will find a way to stab this into your head," I tell him bluntly. I ain't fooling around, Joey! Don't ask who that is, please.

"Expelled." Of course, the pussy would.

"Excuse me, but this is nothing like you faced at the USJ." We both shiver as I continue, though I decide to show him mercy only because I don't want him getting up on me in the middle of it. I already know I would lose in a fight against him, so I'm preventing such a conflict. I hold his hair in a ponytail and brush the ponytail to prevent me from ripping his hair out.

"Is that something you should be joking about?"

"Probably not, but oh well!" With that, we become quiet. I manage to brush his hair out within twenty minutes, and we have twenty minutes to get there. I pull back and start to stand up, expecting Shouta to stand up with me only to realize the shithead fell asleep. Don't ask how, but he did. I'm guessing I was too gentle on him. I take the chance to fix my hair before kicking him lightly in the side, "Get up. It's time to leave." He grumbles before looking up at me. Well, at least he doesn't look like a hobo now. He raises his hand.

"Help me."

"Seriously? And here I thought you were a hero."

"Respect your elders and help me."

"The moment I respect my elders is the moment the world ends." The man sighs.

"True, but you are also part of the next generation of heroes, so practice now."

"I thought I was part of the next generation of strip dancers?" Shouta pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You seriously over-complicate everything." I finally offer my hand and help him up.

"That's what I'm known for! Now come on!" With that, we head out.

---

Achievement: Shouta and I have made it to the restaurant without killing each other! You would think this is easy, but no! He kept telling me to shut up!

Like, when have I ever shut up beside that one time? Never. THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN! AND HE LIVES WITH ME TOO! HE SHOULD KNOW THIS BY NOW! When we finally arrive in front of the restaurant a few minutes later, Hizashi and Nemuri are there. They both fixed up nice, though Nemuri laid down on the dressing for a reason. You will see why, later on.

Nemuri is wearing one of those long sweater dresses that go just above her knees, with her hair tied up. Her red glasses are replaced with cute black ones and simple black tennis shoes. Overall, a great outfit yet simple. Now Hizashi. OH BOY! He has his hair up in that sexy man bun with regular glasses on as well. He looks like he put effort into himself.

You know it's sad when I've been around Shouta too long when I'm proud of someone for putting effort into their outfit.

Hizashi's outfit is handsome, to say the least. I have to stay appropriate. He is wearing an average t-shirt with a tan leather jacket, blue jeans, and ordinary sneakers. Yes, we all look human now.

"Wow, Izuku! I didn't know you can do your hair like that. Looks fantastic!" Hizashi compliments excitably.

"Thank you! Now, who's ready to waste Hizashi's money!?" Shouta is already done with my shit.

Don't worry, darling. You're about to be freed soon.

"I think I waste more money anyway, so let's go!" Hizashi leads the way. I stay beside Nemuri as Shouta walks ahead. However, when he looks beside him to notice me missing, he looks back and glares. He raises his finger to tell me to come forth.

"I'm right next to Nemuri, okay? I'm not being a predator like you right now."

"I seriously don't trust you, especially with her," Shouta states. Nemuri, thankfully, steps in.

"Come on, Sho. The kid can take care of himself. We are right behind you." He gives up and walks ahead, leaving us to catch up. We keep an eye on the man, but we look at each other with a grin and wiggle our eyebrows. Yeah, we look like psychopaths. Anyway, we are in line, and Hizashi is being asked how many when my phone starts blasting a certain song.

This is my baby daddy! Who that is? This is my baby daddy! Who that is? This is my baby daddy! Who that is?

I may or may not have started to do the floss for a moment. That is until Shouta glares at me yet again. At least two people get it as Hizashi and Nemuri are laughing. The rest of the restaurant watches in confusion.

"Sorry, I will shut it off, darlings!" I quickly answer the phone, "Nezu! I wasn't expecting you to call! How may I help you?" I can see a vein popping in Shouta's head. Yes, Nezu's ringtone is that just to piss him off.

"Ah, yes! One of your inventions has broken and is currently causing Power-Loader some trouble. He can't figure out how to fix it. I need you to come by and fix it as quickly as possible." Nezu tells me. I raise my eyebrows as I grip the collar of my shirt and step back. Shouta looks at me with something along with Hizashi and Nemuri.

"I will be by soon. Tell Power-Loader to leave the room. I don't know if whatever it is will attack him or not. If it does, it's going to be accurate because of how the programming is."

"Of course!" I keep him on the phone as I start walking out, but Shouta grabs my shoulder and forces me to turn around.

"Izuku, what is going on?" He asks, keeping his grip.

"Nothing. It's just one of the inventions causing a tissy fit. You three have fun, have some quality time!" I smile. I try walking off again, but the grip is tighter.

"I'm coming with you if that is the case." I glare up at him.

"Yeah, we can all go!" Hizashi joins. Shit. Nemuri quickly steps to my aid once more.

"I can go with Izuku. You two need some time together, and I need to make sure Izuku is using protection. Come on, sweetie!" She grabs my shoulder and guides me out, leaving behind the two baffled men. Once we are a ways from the restaurant, I realize the phone is still on call.

"Did it work?" Nezu asks, and I can practically feel the grin.

"Yip! Thank you, Nezu! I owe you!" Yes, there is a plan for this. No, there is no broken machinery. I VERY rarely have machines that cause me problems.

"No problem! You make sure they become a couple is all I ask."

"Of course! See you, sir!" With that, I hang up and grin at Nemuri. STEP ONE COMPLETE! YASSSSS, "WE GOT THEM ALONE!" Nemmy grins.

"Yes, but now we need to begin step two!" She takes the lead, leads us to the nearest store, and shoves getting us in the unisex bathroom," Think you can change yourself?"

"You make it sound like I have never done this before?" She looks at me.

"Please tell me you didn't dress as a girl to the strip bar." That's out of the bag now.

"I mean, they pay girls more. Like, WAY MORE!"

"True." With that, we enter our own stall and change. We are both switching genders because we are stalking their asses while setting the mood. Anytime you want to stalk your besties, switch your gender. It hides you better. Yeah, too bad my hair is being ruined now, but oh well! I remove my clothes. Then, I pull fake breasts out of the bag. They don't look great, and they are small. But they will suffice. I put them on with little difficulty. I put a cute little school uniform on from a particular game I won't name yet. After that, I put on some long black socks, black flats, and step out. Yep, my body looks like a girl, but this is restricting as hell. However, Nemuri is going to have the worst time because she has some bust, man! I go in front of the mirror to start doing my makeup to looking like a girl. Logically, I should wear contacts, but I hate contacts. It hurts like a bitch.

A few more minutes, Nemmy steps out and damn: she made herself look like a man.

"How are your boobs doing?" I can't help but ask.

"It feels like I'm suffocating. Damn, you look great! You even made the boobs look real! I have a feeling you based it off of something for how specific it is." She says as she starts her makeup.

She knows me so well!

I put out a long, light brown wig, put my hair in a cap, and slap it on my head. I adjust the bangs before putting it up in a white bow. Let me tell you.

I decided it would be a fantastic idea to be Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club! Why? Well, she literally destroys the game if you don't choose her or something like that! If that ain't me, I don't know what is! I don't look exactly like her, but I look pretty close. Just a little more muscular. Welp, at least I shaved my legs.

Please don't ask about the experience.

"I decided to be a girl from a video game who literally destroys her game!" I look at Nemuri with a broad grin.

"I should have expected that. Hey, your height might be of use for once!"

"Bitch, shut up." She bursts out laughing as she makes herself masculine. Nemuri puts her hair up and places on a short black wig and a different pair of glasses, " How many glasses do you have? You look like a man, by the way!"

"Too many." She switches to her man voice, a little deeper than her normal voice, but whatever works.

"Alright, then. Let's go!" I say in a high-pitched voice. Advantages of not going through puberty yet!

We enter the restaurant again and are quickly guided to a table. Good news, we have a view of the boys! Bad news...

"I hate skirts." I move around constantly, but now I have to keep my legs together to make sure I don't show off my boxers! Like, harsh!

"And here I thought you were a genius. You would have noticed the issue otherwise." Nemuri smack-talks me. Offended.

"I have to maintain the integrity of the cosplay!"

"I think you didn't think this through. Also, eat your soup before you forget it exists, and it gets cold."

"Shut up. It's Shouta's job to complain, not yours." I'm glad the two lovebirds don't notice us. They are too focused on the other. I'll take it.

"Someone has to take care of you."

"I am having regrets." Nemuri bursts out laughing as I finish eating. Then, we hear tapping through the speakers. We turn to face a young female waiter on the stage with all sorts of instruments around her. Yes, this is a restaurant with a stage. Think of it as a bar without alcohol. Sadly.

"Do I have everyone's attention?" The girl asks. Multiple people nod, " Alright~! So tonight, we have a special performance here! She has never performed here before, but I believe you are in for a surprise! Monika, come up and show us what you got!"

Yes, I'm performing. This is my first time performing that doesn't involve pole-dancing. Actually, first time performing outside a strip-club. Eh, take it how you like. Weird as fuck or 'hey, I'm finally maturing!' I'm only doing this for them, even if you believe otherwise. I will still prefer pole-dancing any day!

Here is the thing: I can't go singing Ridin' Dirty or Talk or Crazy Bitch or anything that would get me recognized. So anything stupid is off the list. And since it is the first song, it has to be an upbeat song. Welp, I'm stealing from the movie Sing! and we are doing Shake It Off!

The great thing is that I have a loop machine, so I don't go back and forth between instruments. Don't worry, I know how to play all of them. The first thing I go to is the drums. We set the beat for that and loop it. The same goes for a bass guitar, regular guitar, acoustic guitar, violin, and the grand piano. I know, random, but you got to work with what you got. Everyone is looking at me strangely.

No, I can't duplicate myself, dumbasses.

I also have a DJ table. Time to have some fun! I start everything up. I smirk as I start the bass guitar and drums up. Another problem I face is the fact I have to sing like a girl. I actually changed the pitch and made it more unique, so it makes it less like me.

"I stay out too late. Got nothing in my brain. That's what people say-ay-ay, mmm mm, that's what people say-ay-ay, mmm mm."

The first line is done, more pain and suffering to go! I add the other two guitars. I already got the people's attention too, so bonus.

"I go on too many dates, but I can't make 'em stay. At Least that's what people say-ay-ay mmm mm, that's what people say-ay-ay mmm mm."

Add in that piano.

"But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving. It's like I got this music in my mind, sayin' it gonna be alright."

Finally, the violin. I can't have multiple mes singing, so the violin was the best thing.

"Cause the players gonna play play play play play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate hate. Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.

I shake it off, I shake it off!

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break. And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake. Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake shake.

I shake it off, I shake it off!"

I got the people moving, yes! Mission accomplished! Sure, Shouta and Hizashi are still sitting, but at least they are enjoying it. Now, if you excuse me, I have people to entertain and My Reality next. I mean, if I don't sing that in this outfit, someone needs to kill me.

---

About an hour after playing and looping shit, it is time for me to end this and get out of these fake breasts! Oh, and Shouta and Hizashi got up and danced at one point, but sat back down at the table later. I plan on getting them back up.

I have a special song I want to do that no-one expects. The instruments I loop is a cello, violin, electric piano, and two different soft drum beats. Unlike my other songs, I will be playing the piano throughout it.

This song has a special meaning to me. It reminds me of my childhood. I sit at the piano and taking a deep breath. I start playing the grand piano and humming before beginning. I'm putting my soul into this.

(Please, look up "For Fruits Basket" by annapantsu on Youtube for full effect. One of my favorite songs of all time.)

"I was so happy when you smile.

Your smile breaks through the clouds of grey.

Far from the sunny days that lie in sleep...

Waiting with patience for the spring.

When the flowers will soon bloom again.

Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today."

I put on the electric piano loop. I see Shouta and Hizashi stand along with other couples, and they sway.

"Although the scars of yesterday remain.

You can go on living as much as your heart believes...

You can't be born again although you can change.

Let's stay together, always."

The loop for the cello, violin, and the beat come on.

"You came to me when I was alone.

All by myself again today.

The rain just keeps coming down and washes away...

All the pain we hold inside.

We have to break free and come alive.

No more holding back our love anymore."

I start trembling. This song always reminds me of certain nostalgia I barely have anymore. I got to keep going. The two of them are close.

"Even though times are hard and seem to go on.

We'll move past that point in time to find our futures.

Never again alone cause I'm finally home.

Let's stay together, forever."

This is where the real power comes in. I look to see people shakey, smiling, and crying? That wasn't part of the plan! The two lovebirds are really close. I start singing a bunch of las, moving with the music.

"Although the scars of yesterday remain.

You can go on living as much as your heart believes.

You can't be born again although you can change.

Let's stay together, always."

A loud applause echoes from the crowd as I finish the song. They look extremely happy for some reason. It's a great song but damn settle. But that isn't the important part.

Hizashi pulls Shouta in to finally fucking kiss.

Not on the list, but that works too!