Prompt: Izuku commits yeetus deletus.The reason why I am not using the S word is because I know that it can be triggering to some, so I am avoiding that to avoid triggering people who just want a glance. However, after this point, I will be saying it, so just a warning there.

I don't know why, but this is the most requested prompt that I have. It's concerning. I know suicidal Izuku is common and expected from him, but damn. I feel sorry for my homie.

This will also be focusing on Shouta afterwards. Some people wanted me to make the man suffer, and you definitely have the right idea for how.

Without further ado, let's do this ):

Warnings: Suicide, Disassociation, Denial.Basically, be careful when reading this chapter please.

- - -

Quirkless teens have the highest suicide rate in Japan. Concerningly high to the point that it is expected for quirkless to just throw their lives away. That's why they are seen at the bottom. That's why nobody hires them since they are going to die soon anyway. That's why insurance companies charge so high for quirkless. That's why health professionals are allowed to turn away quirkless.

Being quirkless is setting you up for failure. It's like throwing a bird without wings out of a nest and expecting them to fly.

It's just not possible.

And you know what? I realize that now. I like to believe that I am making a difference, but one step forward leads two steps back. If anything, I am fucking shit up.

For example, quirkless can now be heroes, but they are technically slaves since they aren't paid by the government. This leads to people believing that quirkless are slaves rather than human beings. It's why there are now issues with people not paying quirkless at all.

Another failure on my part is becoming a hero myself. I know I said that I would become a hero just to spite everyone who said that quirkless can't be heroes, and that's still true. However, due to my abilities, quirkless are now expected to be able to do so many different things like me when that is simply not the case. They are expected to compensate for themselves when they are plenty already.

We're going to ignore the fact that the world believes that having a quirk means you have plenty of talent beyond quirkless.

Overall, I'm just fucking up over and over and over again, and I'm tired.

I'm so fucking tired.

I'm already fucked up in the head. I am well-aware of that. I have issues. There are times where I just drown in my own thoughts, so I tend to be louder to try and blast them out. I think most people around me are aware of that to at least some extent. This is especially true for Shouta, who is the first person to confront me that, if I am feeling suicidal, that I need to call him. That is not to say that he knows that I am. He said that out of concern for my jokes. He has no basis for that besides my jokes, and most people would push that idea aside, especially since I'm quirkless.

However, he isn't wrong with his assumption. I don't think he realizes how right he is.

How many times have I tried to get alcohol poisoning to kill myself?

How many times have I searched online for the most desirable way to end my life?

How many times was I so close, yet something would fuck up to stop me?

So many times. So many fucking times.

Maybe I sound dramatic, but when I have so many people that hate me including myself, it's suffocating.

I never mentioned it before, but my quirkless status follows me everything. Insurance is so high that Mom can barely pay for it. Anytime I go shopping, I am charged more because I don't need money apparently. I've been rejected from so many places such as restaurants and gyms and even parks. Just walking down the street, shit is thrown at me literally and figuratively.

It's gotten worse since UA.

Sure, if I am with somebody else, nobody dare does it. However, by myself, I am dragged to the alley and beaten everywhere that can't be seen usually.

I could tell my friends, but I don't want to make it harder on everyone. That's unfair on them. It's my fault that my genes are so-called shitty.

Then, let's add the fact that I am considered insane to some people, and you are ostracized like an insane asylum patient. The only place that treats me like normal is UA.

But you know, shit sneaks through there too obviously.

I love UA, and I owe them so fucking much for protecting me.

So, this is my thank you to them. I'm finally giving up like I should have long ago. They don't have to deal with my bullshit anymore.

I'm done.

Maybe this seems sudden, but it's been building for a long time. With the recent events, I am fucking shattered.

Destroyed.

Numb.

I know I am supposed to call Shouta, but he deserves away from me too. All of them do.

I hope they have no problems with it.

I hope they have happier lives without me.

I hope that, by removing myself, they will be safer than before.

And by doing this, they get rid of the boulder slowing them down.

I stand at the edge of the cliff that is so far from town that I am unlikely to be found.

Perfect for someone who wants to be forgotten.

My back is to the cliff, and I express one final smile,

"I'm sorry, but I hope you are happier without me. I will miss you guys."

Then, I fall back and let gravity do its work.

My family's faces flash across my eyes as I get closer to the ground.

"I love you-"

.

.

.

- - -

Shouta's POV

Today is a normal day, but something is off.

Something is wrong.

But nobody was hurt in class today. There were no significant attacks today. If anything, it is calmer than usual.

Too calm.

Entering the teacher's dorm, it's quiet. No arguments or laughter. It's just everyone doing their work.

I scan the room to find Izuku missing. Where is he? He's normally causing some sort of trouble by now.

I clear my throat, "Has anybody seen Izuku today?"

Everyone looks at me and shakes their head.

Hizashi looks at me with concern, "Was he supposed to go out today?"

"No, as far as I know. I'll check his room."

I go to his dorm to find the door unlocked. That's not unusual, but he typically locks it before leaving.

When I enter, it's cold, something Izuku hates. Everything is turned off, giving an eerie feeling to the entire room.

What kind of joke is the Problem Child playing now?

"Izuku, come out. We're not going through with this joke today," I sigh.

Except there is no response.

"Izuku?" I look around his dorm to find that he isn't here at all.

When I return to his kitchen to look at his calendar on the fridge, I find it gone replaced with a note.

Dear Whoever Reads This,

If this is not Shouta, Nemuri, Hizashi, or Mom, please bring this to one of them and don't read it. This is meant for them only. If you are one of them, you can continue.

I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired and fed-up with everything. There's a lot I haven't shared with you, but I won't be doing that even now because I know you guys will just blame yourselves when you shouldn't. This is my fault. I didn't want to stress y'all out, and it's unfair to you guys anyway. Well, it's been unfair for a while considering you had to put up with this quirkless piece of shit.

As of today, I will no longer be part of your lives. I decided that I need to stop striving for the impossible. I need to stop making everybody's lives worse by striving for an impossible dream. I'm just making everything worse not just for y'all but for quirkless and everybody.

It's shocking how blind I was to other's trouble, but I realize that now. I'm fixing it, no worries. You never have to see me again. I don't care what you do to my shit. It doesn't matter. All I ask is that you don't try to come and find me. That's my one request regarding to me.

I love you guys, and thank you for the amazing time at UA. It's why I was able to stay around for so long. Without you guys and UA, I would have given up a long time ago, though that's probably a bad thing, to be honest. I should have given up earlier.

Please be happy for me. You don't need me around. You're all amazing without me. Better than me. Live your best lives please. You only live once, after all.

I will miss you.

Love you all,

Izuku Midoriya

I didn't realize I had stopped breathing until I greedily took a breathe in.

With the paper at hand, I pull out my phone and call Izuku. He has to be messing with me.

It only rings once before an automatic voice tells me that the line has been disconnected.

Izuku has to be joking. He wouldn't leave just like that, right???

With the letter at hand, I run out to go see if he as somewhere else on campus.

"Shouta, what's going on?!" Hizashi yells, and I hear Nemuri close behind me. They must have followed me out.

"Izuku's gone! I don't know if he is joking or what, but he's not in his room and I haven't seen him all day!" I holler back.

Suddenly, I have grabbed by the wrist to stop me, and Nemuri's voice is in the air, "Calm down. Freaking out is not going to find Izuku. Have you checked his GPS?"

I should have thought of that. I pull out my phone to check it only to find that it is disconnected there as well. I show it to Nemuri and Hizashi, who has just shown up.

Nemuri runs a hand through her hair, "Okay. Have you seen him at all today?"

"I seen him this morning, but that's it," I explain.

"Did he leave you anything saying where he went?"

I shove the letter at them, "This is all he left."

I give them a moment to read, and I can't help but pace as I try to think of any places he could have gone.

Hizashi is the first to finish, looking up at me, "Did he seem okay this morning?"

I take a moment to remember, "He seemed happier than usual, to be honest." And it's true. He had his usual smile on and bothered me how he does. Hizashi's face paled.

"Shit. He planned this."

"What do you mean he planned this? " I bite out.

"He planned to run away. Shouta, we need to talk to Nezu and have him track Izuku down. I have a bad feeling about this- hey, wait up!"

I don't even bother to continue listening to Hizashi as I started running towards Nezu's office. The faster we move, the quicker we will find Izuku.

I don't even bother to knock as I burst into Nezu's office, "I need you to track Izuku!" I demand.

Nezu looks at me with his usual smile before doing as I asked, "May I ask what may be the problem?"

I am about to explain when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Looking over, I find Hizashi, clearly trying to calm me down.

Nemuri explains instead, "Izuku left a note about how he is leaving forever and to not find him. This isn't a joke either."

Nezu's paws go faster, "I see. He left UA this morning and left town by foot. He took the route towards the mountains, which is odd considering there is nothing that way."

Hizashi's hand grips my shoulder tighter, "You have no way of finding his exact location?"

Nezu shakes his head, "He turned off the emergency tracker. He clearly doesn't want to be found. Can you hand me the letter? I can look over it for extra clues while you three head in that direction. Take the car."

Nemuri hands the letter to Nezu while stating, "I'm driving."

I don't bother to argue with it as we move quickly, get in the car, and drive.

- - -

It's been a couple of hours, and we haven't found Izuku yet. We are currently driving the main road through the mountain, hoping to find a single clue of where Izuku is.

It's like Izuku covered his tracks.

"Maybe he went further in?" Nemuri questions from the front.

"No. Izuku would stick to the road since he gets lost to easily," Hizashi responds with a tired tone.

I haven't been able to speak at all. I just need to find Izuku. I have been shaking, think of every possibility of what could happen to Izuku.

He could have been kidnapped.

He could have been tortured.

He could have been killed.

And with that mindset...

Izuku wouldn't do it, right?

He would call me if he was even considering it...

I barely notice something important since I am stuck in my head, but I do, "Nemuri, stop the car!"

The car slams to a stop, but I ignore it as I jump at of the car and go to see what I found.

Red shoes.

Izuku's shoes.

"Shouta wait- SHOUTA!" Hizashi yells with Nemuri not to o far behind him as I jump the cliff, using my scarf to get me down safetly.

"Izuku!" I holler, hoping to get a response.

Nothing.

When I reach the bottom, I pale.

Izuku is laying at the bottom, his body mangled and covered in blood.

He isn't moving.

"IZUKU!"

I skid to his side and check for a pulse.

None.

Nothing else is on my mind as I start chest compressions, doing anything to wake him up.

Why isn't he moving?!

"Izuku, this joke isn't funny anymore! Wake up! WAKE UP! PLEASE!"

No matter what I do, he's not responding, but I keep trying. He has to wake up eventually. Maybe he's just overworked. He just wants a break. He wanted a break away from the world. That's okay.

He just needs to come back!

Suddenly, I am pull abruptly from Izuku, "LET ME GO!"

Whoever has me doesn't. Instead, they pull me into their trembling arms and sob, "I'm sorry, Sho, but he's gone. Izuku is dead."

Hizashi.

I try to break from his grip, "Izuku is not dead-"

"YES HE IS, SHOUTA!" Hizashi suddenly screams, and I look at him to see tears in his eyes, "IZUKU IS DEAD! I'M SORRY, BUT WE CAN'T SAVE HIM ANYMORE! THE IMPACT KILLED HIM!"

Reality settles on my shoulders like a brick. My heart feels heavy.

Izuku is gone. He's no longer with us.

My vision is blurry with tears as I feel presumably Hizashi pull me into a tight hug, his words sounding fuzzy to me.

Izuku is gone.

I can't breathe.

How am I supposed to tell his friends about this? The teachers? The world that is already ready to crumble?

How are we supposed to do what Izuku could do?

Everything fades into darkness before I can start to think of a way.

- - -

Author's Notes

Sorry if it is a bit crappy, but I tried my best. The reason I didn't do an aftermath is because I wasn't sure how I wanted to write it. Maybe in another oneshot, but I thought this was plenty of pain for now.

If y'all are interested in a oneshot where Shouta is able to save Izuku or where Izuku gets a second chance, let me know.

For now, be careful and later.