"Come on, Tensei! You just need have to say yes, and our single asses can go to the strip bar to pick you up a lady! Or man. We can't judge when two of our gay squad members are dating."

"I'm being threatened by one of those gay men, Izuku. More specifically, the one who's clearly a bottom."

"We can face a fucking hobo."

"He kicked my ass in school. He can probably kick a wheelchair. He isn't one to discriminate."

"Why is Shouta threatening you?"

"He doesn't trust us together without him there to supervise us."

"We both know that even if you decline, Nem and I are going. We die together!" I hear his phone go off, " What was that?"

"Shouta sent, 'I can hear you.' How suspicious is that? However, he can do shit over the phone."

"Preach it, babe!"

"He sent, 'I know where you live.' I think we should report this to the police."

"Wait. I know the problem here. SHOUTA!" I shout, covering the receiver, so I don't make Tensei go death. I'm sitting at the dinner table in the common room, so I peer over to the couch where the bum was lying.

Shouta sits up and looks over while squinting his eyes, " What, brat?" How comforting! I put the phone on speaker. I'm not going to let Tensei miss out on this.

I give him a grin, " Would you and Zashi like to go to the strip club with us for Valentine's Day? You can finally show off your sexy moves!" Yes, it's Valentine's Day before you ask.

"No. Unlike you two, I plan on taking him to a pleasant place."

"As trash? I hate to tell you, but it isn't Halloween. Your man is probably looking his best, and you're going to dampen his light by looking like a Satanist next to a Christian! Trust me, it's not a pretty sight!"

"Come on, Sho! This isn't hard! Just put actual effort into yourself, and you're good!" Tensei adds.

"That's the fucking truth."

Shouta sighs, "You have five seconds to get off the phone before I force you off."

"Shouta!" "SHOUTA!" We whine at the same time. Shouta starts getting up. Yeah, I'm not facing him.

"I LOVE YOU, BABE! I'LL PICK YOU UP LATER!" Tensei didn't say no, so I'm going to assume that means I can take him with us.

"Love you too, darling!" With that, I hang up.

Shouta sighs and settles back down, "You're being watched by Maijima."

"He's easy to convince. He gets half the job done himself."

"Izuku."

"Why can Nem go then?" Sho didn't argue when Nem said she was going! He only became the annoying dad brother thing after I said I was going!

"Because she is an adult."

"Mentally, I am an adult. Therefore, I should be allowed to go to a stripper club. It's not like I'm going to be knocked up!"

"How can you even stand to go into one? Those places are disgusting."

"Pay extra for deep cleaning at one. Enough about me. Go get ready. You leave in an hour, right?"

" Yes. You stay out of trouble. I will not hesitate to find you if I learn that you're starting crap."

"Got it!" Don't got it! With that, Shouta goes to his dorm to clean up hopefully. As the demon cat leaves, my brain starts gathering the pieces and hot-gluing them together for a plan.

First things first, I head to Maijima's dorm and knock. It takes a moment before the door opens to reveal the man in a shirt for once! The moment he sees me, he sighs, "What, Izuku?"

"Damn, no pleasantries? Alright then. Nemuri, Tensei, maybe a couple others, and I are going to a karaoke bar. Want to come along?" I mean, a half-lie. It's more of a strip bar.

"I clearly heard you and Kayama talk about a strip bar." Oh yeah. We were vocal about it, huh? I can work with this.

"It was a lie to aggravate Sho. Coming or what? If so, I need to make sure you have something nice, so you have a chance of getting a date from there."

"Aizawa assigned me to watch over you, so I have to. How do I need to dress?" I'm surprised he agreed so readily. That makes my life easier.

"Fancy casual like button-ups and nice pants. Do you have a shirt like that?"

"I don't go around shirtless all the time, kid." I raise my hands to feign innocence.

"I never know! How trashy is your place?"

"Fine enough for me." I peer around him to peek inside. It's not clean like mine, but it is clean. I walk past him, completely ignoring the shocked look on his face.

"Where's the wardrobe?"

"In my room? Where else would it be?" I flip him off as I enter his room, "Isn't this inappropriate?"

"Shouta looks like a damn child predator, and we go into each other's rooms constantly. I think this is fine as long as you don't start touching me."

"Too much information, Izuku."

"Yada yada yada. You have barely any- oh, here's something!" I pull out a black short-sleeved button-up from his closet and set it gently on his bed, "You can figure out the rest. I need to convince one other person to come."

"When you mean convince, you mean force?" Maijima asks as he looks at the shirt.

"You know me so well! Now, toodles!" Before he can complain, I zoom out of his room, head to the next room, and knock. It takes a moment for the door to open. I don't bother to look inside because I know this man's place and clothing choices are trash. I'm saving myself time here. I get straight to the point to leave no room for argument, "You have ten minutes to get ready before I drag your ass out to shop for clothes." To prevent the debate, I slam the door on his face somehow and head to my room to get in the Shouta's brother's cover. I don't want to be recognized, after all. For clothing, I stuck with an oversized black hoodie, pants, and my typical red shoes. I hate how it looks on me, but better than being noticed.

I finished the makeup and everything before the ten-minute mark. Thankfully I didn't need to wait long for the man of the hour because he was already sitting on the couch.

"Yagi! Ready to go clothes shopping?" I ask, huffing at the hair covering my left eye. I don't know how Shouta can like this. Yagi gives me the most confused look.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" His current outfit consists of an oversized white t-shirt and large green cargo pants.

"You look like a drug dealer. I need you to look nice because we are going to a karaoke bar tonight." I mean, Yagi did offer his quirk to me like a drug, so that isn't a far off analogy.

"Shouldn't you ask someone before taking them somewhere? It's called consent, Young Midoriya." I start walking out of the building with Yagi, following me like a puppy.

"Listen. You have been a hero for all your life. Have you ever done something like this before?" Yagi shakes his head, " Because you were focused on becoming a hero. With the weight of being the number one hero off your shoulders, it's time to become a human being. You need to have fun. You're not getting any younger. You're 40 something and already look like shit-"

"Language! We are in public!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Before I was interrupted, you need to live life. Understood?" I receive a nod.

Time to go get this man something decent!

---

"I swear to fucking god that if you pick up another suit with strips, I will shove those strips down your throat and through your ass," I state to the man with the blankest look I can manage. Slowly, Yagi puts it back. I smile, "Good! Now to find some bottom material because you clearly act as a bottom!"

"Young Midoriya, what is a bottom? I hear you call Aizawa that, but I don't know what that means." Yagi asks. Wrong question to ask!

"A bottom is like a sub."

"What's a sub?" Oh boy...

"Do you know what sex is?" That makes him blush.

"N-n-nevermind!"

Clearly a bottom.

I end up with skinny blue jeans and a button-up white collar shirt. Sure, it could be better, but he is also old. I did pick him other clothes as well despite the man's complaints and paid. I'm willing to do anything to avoid that yellow-striped suit.

---

I thought you guys would not want to wait around, so I decided to skip straight to the action: Hizashi and Shouta leaving for their date.

Being the kinds of people we are, Nemuri and I made a bet on where they are going. Nemuri, for some unknown reason, thinks they are going to a random noodle shop down the road from UA. Having known Shouta, I said they would go to an actual restaurant. He may be lazy, but he respects his man enough to do that.

Hopefully, I'm not having too much faith in him.

Nemuri and I are waiting for them to come out of their dorms as we are ready to go. I still have my disguise on, but I changed my outfit from hobo to something nice: high-waist black jeans, black heels, and a button-up white collar shirt. It shows my ass and muscles well! I even have a red bowtie on to match my contacts in! Nemuri has the same outfit on, showing off her curves perfectly. The only difference is a purple bowtie instead of red.

Overall, we look damn fantastic and not like we are about to go to a strip club.

Finally, Shouta comes out, and shock probably decorates our faces. He looks amazing. I have nothing to complain about. His usually greasy hair is pulled back into a clean man-bun to show more of his face. The stubble is gone from his face, revealing the killer jawline he has. Surprising to me, even though I got it for him, he wears a button-up purple collar, black dress pants, and same coloring shoes. Shouta makes the purple work. I'm still mentally recovering right now.

And CLEAR!

"You look bloody fantastic," I state bluntly for once in my life. Nemuri nods in agreement. Shouta huffs and looks away as if to hide something.

"I was expecting an insult."

"I'm not that much of an ass!"

"You can be."

"When?!"

"The other day, you told Ashido that her skirt was too short unless she was aiming for Mineta to look up at her."

"The truth! I was being honest and saving her life!"

"You could have done it in a reasonable manner."

"I did."

"You said it in front of the class."

"Still don't see a problem." Shouta pinches the bridge of his nose.

"We will discuss this later."

"You're the one who started - " I shut my big mouth up when Hizashi comes. Hot. Damn. Everyone bow down for this boy right now.

Hizashi has his hair up in a similar fashion to Shouta's, but longer. His clothing is the same except instead of a purple top, it's a light green top that brings out his lovely green eyes. He sports these cute red rectangular glasses that give him a more innocent look.

Together, they look like the duet that needed to happen years ago.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TWO WAIT SO LONG TO GET TOGETHER? YOU LOOK FUCKING AMAZING! HALLELUJAH, BITCHES! GOD. SUCCEEDED. IN. SOMETHING. AMAZING. FOR. ONCE. IN. HIS. DAMN. LIFE!" I clap my hands after each word for emphasis. Hizashi is not responding, and Shouta is blushing for once in his damn life.

"Izuku, settle down. You're breaking our boys." Nemuri points out to me.

"Fine fine. I want a picture before you guys leave for memories." I request as I pull out my phone.

"Aw, Izu can be sentimental!"

"More like blackmail, but if you want to look at it that way, okay. Now cuddle up, you gays!" They awkwardly wrap an arm around their waist. I want to kill myself at the show, "Fuck ya'll. Three. Two. Two." I take the picture, sighing as it is on my phone now, "Fine, get out. Enjoy your date!"

Hizashi finally snaps out of it, "Will do! You and Nemi have fun. Looking great, by the way!"

Shouta snaps, "Out of trouble."

"You need sugar. Go on your date already." I snap back because I ain't taking that shit! Shouta ruffles my recently fixed hair as the two leave for their romantic date. The moment they are out, I face Nemuri, "Nemi, you owe me!"

"I'm recovering. The lazy dumbass is taking his man somewhere romantic as he deserves!" Nemuri exclaims as she pulls out the bet money and hands it to me, "So Tensei is meeting us outside of UA. Who else is coming with us?"

"Maijima and Yagi. They both think we are going to a karaoke club."

"You're going to break them. Do they even know how to dress nice?"

"See for yourself!" I open my arm to reveal the two nicely dressed men stepping out, "Looking good, gentlemen!" Yagi blushes at the praise.

"Let's get this over with," Maijima mutters.

"Don't be a sour puss. You might get laid tonight if you are lucky!" I start leading the way with a strut when Nemuri walks up beside me.

She leans down and whispers, "I might go plus ultra on them."

I scream while laughing, "OH, FUCK ME!"

They look so confused right now.

So apparently when Tensei said he as going to meet outside UA, he literally meant it. He's in his wheelchair by himself with no one around. At least he is looking mighty fine.

"Hey, babe! Ready to get a mate tonight?!" I lean over to hug him, but I whisper, "They don't know we are going to a strip club."

Tensei chokes, receiving a strange look from Maijima and Yagi. However, he takes one for the team and responds, "Yeah! How did you convince these two to come with you, though?"

"Maijima is my babysitter, and Yagi is being forced."

"Understandable, have a nice day. Looking great, everybody! It would be nice if I could spin around to show off my outfit, but you know, Stain is an ass."

"You could always get robot legs."

"Considering."

Maijima becomes impatient, "If you want robot legs, we can discuss it at the place. We need to head out before Izuku blows a fuse." Salty.

"Which one?"

"At this point, anyone can blow and cause problems."

"That's what he said!"

---

"Um, Young Midoriya, I think we are in the wrong place."

"No, we are in the right place, Yagi."

Maijima groans, "I should have known you three would have taken us to a strip bar anyway. Do none of you have ethics? You were willing to bring a- OW!" I kick him in the leg to shut him up.

I stare him down, " Don't get us kicked out. Got it?"

"You aren't supposed to be here in the first place!"

Yagi attempts to be the peacemaker, "We're just here to hang out, yes? We aren't doing that?" He points at the pole dancers.

"I mean, you have the legs for it." Oh shit, that triggered a blood attack! I'm quick to hand him a tissue.

"You think I can get a lap dance? I'm always sitting, so..." Tensei asks.

"Yes," Nemuri and I respond at the same time with a grin. THE CONNECTION IS SHOWING! Suddenly, a shout interrupts us.

"BRAT! KAYAMA! IS THAT YOU?!" Hold the phone, is that who I think it is? I look up to see exactly who I think it is.

Mitsuki Bakugo, also known as Bakugo's mom, walking up to us in a more conservative pole-dancing outfit. She has a man, after all.

Okay, before you guys start calling her a hoe, Masaru, her husband, supports this because she only pole-dances. For more comfort, she has gotten herself kicked out of here quite a few times because of men hitting on her.

Mitsuki is here to work out! Not for your drunk asses!

I remember the first time I came in here, she was able to recognize me right off that bat. At first, she screamed at me for going someplace at my age. However, she realized that it had no use, so she keeps an eye out on me while I dance. She made me wear a disguise when I do it, and I was not allowed to make overly seductive moves.

Mitsuki is the crazy aunt of the family. I haven't seen her in a while, but she looks like her son. Well, more like Bakugo looks like her. However, she still looks young as ever as her skin secrets glycerin. I need some for my own. I swear I'm gaining wrinkles from these dumbass villains that can't solve a simple murder case.

Back on the topic!

"Yip yip! I'm surprised you're here! I thought for sure you would be bang-OW, BITCH!" She just whacked me upside the head! I look up at her to see her grin at me.

"I hear worst from Katsuki on the daily. You might need to work on your insults. OH, and put on your medical mask. Your mom is here." I choke on air.

"WHAT?!" I'm quick to pull out my black emergency mask on put it on and fix my hair to cover one eye, " WHY IS MY MOTHER HERE?! Actually, why are you both here? Like, you should be with your man."

"Hey! My man happens to be out of town, and your mom needs a man."

"I think you find more valuable men on Tinder than a strip club, but whatever works. If she finds a man here, I will be proud. If not, I'm going to say, 'I told you so,' Mitsuki."

"Fair."

"Young Midoriya, who is this?" Yagi asks.

"Oh yeah! Everyone, this is Bakugo's mom!" Nemuri bursts out laughing, Tensei has a confused look, Maijima is face-palming, and Yagi shaking his head.

"More hands to help me control him, the better! I'm hoping my own brat isn't causing trouble for ya'll?"

"Angry as always!" Nemuri exclaims. Seeing as she is his only known teacher, everyone else remains quiet.

"Ain't that the truth." Wait a moment. She knew Nemuri.

"Hold the phone, you come here before, Nemy?"

"Of course! She's my dance partner!" Mitsuki replies for her. What? I came here often and not once have I seen this. I guess you learn something new every day!

"AND I HAVE NO VIDEO OF THIS?!"

"Do you really want a video of your aunt pole-dancing?"

"Yes."

"I forget you have no standards. You guys might want to take a booth before the place gets crowded. Oh, you two dancing tonight? They would love to see you two together!"

Nemuri drags me into a side hug, which causes me to stumble, "Why else would we dress the same?"

"I didn't notice! You two look great!"

I cut them off, "We can talk about this in two minutes. First, I want my seat." Without any warning, I grab Tensei start walking to the booth in the corner. Yagi and Maijima struggle to follow, but we will make it out one way or another.

"Wait, put me by the boardwalk! I might get a lap dance from one of the dancers!" Tensei cries out as I ignore his wishes and set him at the end of the booth. Mitsuki had to get ready for her routine, so it's just the five of us again. I slide in on one side with Nemuri while Yagi and Maijima take the other.

Maijima is quick to start talking, "Kid, you're kidding out the pole-dancing, right? I don't want to see one of my students on a pole ever in my life."

I chuckle, "You're fucked there. Anyway, you seem rather comfortable here, Maijima. Been around these parts before?" I'm not even lying. Tensei, Nemuri, and I make sense as we get into shit like this. Yagi is nervous as fuck. I expected Maijima to be slightly uncomfortable, but he isn't.

"When I was younger."

"Were you a fuck boy?" I have to hand a napkin to Yagi because the poor man is coughing up blood.

"Do you have no integrity?!"

Tensei raises one finger. Finally, he says something intellectual for the first time since this conversation, " This is the same boy who is the one to take you two here to a strip club. If you didn't figure it out then, you might have some issues."

"I'm using that for now on," I state.

"Copyrighted it already."

"You fucking wish."

Nemuri snaps her fingers, " You two can talk about the quote later. Right now, we need to get these two hopeless losers a lady."

"Okay, now that's damn accurate. So my idea is to get them drunk and let them figure it out on their own."

Yagi interrupts us, "I can't drink, Young Midoriya. We shouldn't be drinking anyway, especially around you."

"Oh, cry me a river. WITHOUT DRINKING, let them figure it out on their own."

Nemuri thinks a moment, "Maijima might be able to do it, but Yagi? He radiates bottom energy."

"You talk about this around your student?!" Yagi exclaims the moment after that came out of her mouth.

"Izuku isn't my student. I only had him for one day, and we can't really count that."

"That's strangely logical."

"If we wanted logical, we would have invited Shouta," I mutter under my breath.

"The truth!" Nemuri and Tensei exclaim at the same time.

"Wait, what about me?" Tensei asks.

"You can figure it out." I don't know what he needs to figure out, but if he wants some extra, he will seriously have to figure out that problem quickly with his legs disobeying him.

Mitsuki shuts our conversation down as she walks over, "You two are up in five minutes for one song. What song do you want?"

"Damn, they are cutting us short. I remember when the club used to give us three songs."

"Too many crappy dancers. If you two are good, they give more songs. Oh, and you can't do your normal songs because you're always playing them, so no Fergie or Nicki or whatever else you commonly listen to."

"Damn...wait, Nemuri," I pull her close to me, whispering a song title in her ear. She gives me a smirk and nods. I relay the song name to Mitsuki.

I'll let that be a surprise for you.

---

Nemuri and I walk down the catwalk hand in hand when the music starts. We can already hear whistling from Tensei. I can see my mom looking mighty fine in the crowd, and she doesn't recognize me, so we are great there! We bow and separate to our poles. With the bass drop, the lyrics start, and we do our thing on the pole. We even high-five while swinging because we are close enough!

I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong.

To crash the critics saying, "Is it right or is it wrong?"

If only fame had an IV, baby could I bear?

Being away from you, I found the vein, put it in here.

If you have no idea what this song is, then you need Jesus. This is "Applause" by Lady Gaga! This is THE song!

Nemuri and I hop down from our poles and stand by each other to clap on beat.

I live for the applause, applause, applause.

I live for the applause-plause, live for the applause-plause.

Live for the way that you cheer and scream for the.

The applause, applause, applause.

As the music gets dramatic, we step back, run to jump at our poles. We land and start spinning around and doing crazy shit. I make sure to risk head-injury several times.

Give me the thing that I love (Turn the lights on!)

Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (Make it real loud!)

Give me that thing that I love (Turn the lights on!)

Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (Make it real loud!)

Make it real loud

Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch

(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud!

Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch!

I just realized that Put Your Hands Up is the name of Hizashi's radio. Coincidence that it's in this song? I think not! Off-topic.

I won't go too into detail about the whole dance because I don't feel like bordering the line of having to change this book to mature. Still, I will give you a basic idea: Sexy moves, possible twerking and grinding, and smacking of Nemuri's booty when I was reaching for her leg.

Since there's a ton of shit and I am limited on words, let me summarize the rest of the night. Let me start on the most dramatic thing.

So Nemuri and I got to do multiple songs, so I was on the stage for a bit. While I was dancing, I decided to check on my mom because that's what any good son would do. My eyes bestowed upon me a rather peculiar scene; Maijima was talking to my mom.

Yeah, let that sink in for a moment.

At the time, I had no idea if Maijima knew that she was my mom or not. Later, I did learn that he didn't know, but damn. I mean, it could have been a complete stranger, and I can trust him with basic communication. I couldn't go tackle him without revealing myself, so that was frustrating! Somehow, Maijima ended up with her number by the end, but I'm pretty sure it's friendship. I will force it to be friendship. I don't want to be related to Maijima.

Tensei did get the lap dance and booty he asked for, but he did not return to the home base. He seems rather happy with his accomplishment, so I won't bring him down.

Yagi failed miserably at socialization. I swear on my soul that once everyone left him, he sat at the booth and made no effort to make friends or get a date. Like, he was known as charismatic as All Might! Yagi? Nope! That's an entirely different identity!

We returned back to UA dorms at two A.M. with no problems, surprisingly enough.

Now, I'm not going to leave you off like that. I'm going to let ya'll see how Shouta's and Hizashi's date went!

. . .

I hope it didn't go to the dumps.

---

Shouta's POV

Izuku bullied me into taking Hizashi out. And to dress nicely. Sigh. And to get him food.

It's impressive what the brat can do. If brat put that effort everywhere besides us and his stupid pranks, he would already be a world power.

Zashi and I are currently in a cat cafe that I found a couple of blocks away from UA sitting side-by-side. I know this is not what Izuku meant by taking him out. However, Zashi is more than happy to pet the cats, so I will take that as a win. Some of the brat's advice is impractical anyway.

"I'm surprised that you took me on an actual date! I was expecting you to trap us in your dorm!" Hizashi exclaims. His excitement causes the cats around us to scatter, including the black one that was sitting on my lap. I glare at him for a moment but drop it.

"Brat forced me, " I mutter out loud to him. He laughs.

"Should have known! But he would have never recommended this place. I like your choice!" He looks at me with one of his bright smiles. I have to look away from that smile to keep my reputation.

"Thank you," I say softly.

"No problem. Oh!" Then, the nerve of the man has the nerve to lean over and kiss me on the cheek. No, I am not blushing. "Aw, you're blushing! So cute! My cute little black kitten!"

I don't respond. I can't. I can't even complain when Zashi takes a picture. I just pick up a muffin to take a bite and ignore him.

By the end, I'm glad that we went out. I will never tell the problem child that, but I do. Sure, Zashi got blackmail, but I don't have to deal with the dramatic class 1-A.

The most important thing is that I got to pet some cats.

. . .

And I guess I got to spend time with my boyfriend.

---

Izuku's POV

There you have it, folks!

I hope that gave you something because I'm not allowed to look at scenes I'm not involved in for some dumb reason!

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!