Prompt: Saphira_Sparkle - AO3 - Ok so I want angst and this chapter gave me an idea. What if Izuku started drinking again and Aizawas reaction? Thx for the story!
Should I be doing angst at this moment? No.
Am I going to do it anyway? Fuck yea!
Oh, and missing arm as this would likely take place after the fact.
Warnings: Alcoholism, Angst and Fluff, Self-Deprecation

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I fucking hate myself. I really do.

You would think that a genius who knows the consequences and has already been through this once would know to avoid the shit by now. Heck, as someone who is constantly slammed with cases, I lack the free time to get it.

Yet, my anxiety crumbled to the point of leading me here again.

I am drinking again. No, I am not an alcoholic yet, but I know I can manage that if I keep this up.

Sure, I can ask for help. But hey, let's make my life difficult so I struggle to ask for it in the first place because I'm afraid to face the music.

Shouta.

Look, I'm VERY well aware that if Shouta finds this out, he would have my neck and not trust me by myself.

Yet, I don't have the balls to tell him nor do I have the balls to drop the habit.

So here is where I stand.

Surprisingly enough, it's easy sneaking alcohol through. Then, as I want it constantly by my side, I can do vodka as it's clear as water. I just have to make sure that I don't make an expression when tasting the bitter shit.

That's probably not helping me, huh?

Whatever.

As I am working on a new case, I decided to fill me a glass of vodka because this is just stressing me out. I HAVE TOLD THEM WHAT TO DO MULTIPLE TIMES, BUT THE DUMB FUCKS WON'T FOLLOW THROUGH! I rather go in there myself and do it. However, luck is further away from me than Antarctica as I am still on leave due to a missing arm.

Not that I consider it a big deal, but it's a huge deal for the Hero Commission. They don't want to be in charge of a quirkless kid is the main thing even though I don't have insurance or anything, but that doesn't stop the media from attacking them.

Either way, I am fucked!

I don't even know what time it is when I hear my door click open. I look up to see Shouta, and while I can school a neutral face, my stomach is doing flips.

Usually, Shouta only comes every couple of days in the morning to make sure I get some sleep as my sleep schedule is more beautiful in Kacchan. AKA, it's super ugly. Anyway, on the days Shouta visits, I at least clean shit up to guarantee not to get caught.

Shouta just came yesterday! Why is he here today?!

I just threw a vodka bottle in the trash too! If he looks in there, I am screwed.

FUCK!

I have to act normal, " What a surprise! I assume you need something? Did a case pop up?"

Shouta shakes his head as he closes the door behind him, "No. This is about you." My heart skips a beat. He hasn't figured it out, has he?

"Did I finally get a pass on Japan's Got Talent?!"

Shouta sighs as he approaches me, "No. I noticed earlier that you were tugging on your hair, and I only see you do that if you're stressed out. You okay, kid?" I was? Usually, I can catch myself doing that and stop myself. I guess it got that bad.

"I'm still alive, so yip yip!" Shouta glances me over.

"I mean mentally."

"I'm not in a facility yet, so it's still a yip yip!" Shouta should be resting himself, the damn man. He doesn't need this. I resist grabbing the glass.

"Izuku..." Shouta comes to my desk and bends down to match my height, " I haven't seen you relax in a while, and not sleeping isn't going to help you. Rest tonight, alright?"

Slowly, I nod. He's close enough that he could smell the alcohol.

When I don't say a vocal response, he gets suspicious, "Kid, are you okay?"

The alcohol seems to not be affecting me anymore as my heart is pounding and my hearing is buzzing.

"Izuku," Two firm hands grip my shoulders to anchor me, "What's going on? I need you to breathe and talk to me."

I need to tell Shouta. He's going to be pissed off either way, and he's going to figure it out. I need to get it over with.

Guilt crawls into my stomach as I clearly state, "I'm sorry, Sho..."

"Izuku, what are you-" So he can't smell it? Maybe his sniffer is going out. Harshly, I grab his sweater, pull him close, and breathe.

The moment he smells the alcohol, Shouta jerks back.

The first thing Shouta does is slap me across the face hard. Then, he screams, "WHAT THE HELL, IZUKU MIDORIYA?! You've been clean for almost two years, and you threw that away for what?! You didn't have to turn to this! I am here for you so you don't turn to this! What the fuck was running through your head when you decided this?!"

I have no response. It takes everything not to curl in on myself. I know I deserve this.

It doesn't make it hurt any less.

Shouta stomps away from me before facing me "Where is it all?!"

"Under my bed."

"Show me!"

Shaky, I stand up as I go to my room. I bend down and pull out a drawer of my bed to reveal a couple of bottles of vodka.

Shouta quickly snatches from as he makes his way to the bathroom, "Come here!"

I follow quickly. When he notices me behind him, he throws both bottles in the shower, filling the air with alcohol.

Shouta grabs my left bicep roughly as he pulls me out of the bathroom and drags me back into my room. He shoves me on the bed before facing away. I can hear heavy breaths of Shouta trying to calm down.

The silence is suffocating.

Eventually, Shouta speaks up, this time calmly, "How long?"

I don't waste time answer, "A week."

Another deep breath from Shouta, "What was running through your head? I'm trying to understand. Do you not trust me?"

"I wasn't thinking. The whole thing was impulsive. I was desperate, Shouta." I try to keep my voice steady, but I am as pissed with myself as he is with me.

Shouta faces me, "You could have called me if I wasn't there. Izuku, I will drop everything to make sure you're alright, and I know you would do the same with me. This is exactly what I was worried about."

"It's constant."

"What do you mean 'it's constant?'"

"The anxiety, Sho. I can't bother you with that. I needed a way to settle it down, and I found my solution."

That angers Shouta, " THAT'S NOT A SOLUTION, IZUKU! It may work at first, but it will become deadweight! You know this!"

I can't help but explode this time, "It's better than crumbling under it! It gives me time to get used to it! I would have dropped it!"

Shouta suddenly faces me, "Izuku, if that work is overwhelming you, I have the right to stop them from sending them."

I freak, "No, it's fine-"

"No, it's not. This isn't something you should have to adapt to. You will break yourself, kid."

"Plus-ultra?"

Shouta sighs, "I'm pulling you back from your work-"

"You can't do that!"

"I can and I will. There is more to you than your cases. They can handle it. From what I have seen, you're doing cases they can do. They are just choosing you because you don't get paid for it."

I nod because I am aware of this. It doesn't stop me, though.

"Izuku, is there any more alcohol in here?"

"Glass on my desk. That's it." Shouta leaves for a moment, and I hear it being spilled down the sink before he comes back.

Shouta runs a hand through his hair, obviously stressed, "I'm not letting you out of my sight for a week. This doesn't include the detox process. You aren't allowed to keep food or drinks in your dorm anymore. You must come out into the public kitchen to get it and write what you grab. I'm also putting a limit on how many cases you can accept, but you're still taking a break from it. Finally, you have to talk to Hound Dog. I'm not negotiating any of this. Do you understand?"

Oh, how much I want to argue this. However, I simply nod.

Shouta takes another deep breath as he approaches.

Then, he wraps his arms around me for a gentle hug, "We'll get you out of this, kid. I just need you to speak up if you need help. I don't care if it's constant; I would rather be there for you than you destroy yourself."

As I am still on the bed, I lay my head against Shouta's chest. I'll take the comfort.

I don't have anything to say.

I really don't deserve Shouta as a brother.

I softly say, "Sorry for all this..."

Shouta sighs as he pulls back and bends down so he is at eye-level with me again, "This isn't okay, Izuku. You can't be turning to shit like this. Just talk to me if you feel like you're going to turn to it, alright? It doesn't even have to be. It can be anyone you trust. I just don't want you on that route again. Got it?"

"Alright, Shouta."