Prompt: Izuku accidentally eats some pot brownies that Denki and Kirishima snuck on campus and gets high as a kite. Hilarity ensues
I would like to mention that this is technically not possible with this Izuku because he would not trust any of the students with food. Germaphobic.
However, for my own amusement, I will do this.
Discord requested this.
After writing: What happened? If you want me to redo, let me know.

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I enter the class 1-A kitchen because I am starving, and the first thing I see is brownies.

Logically, I grab the whole tray and take it to my room as class 1-A is on my salt-list for stressing me out.

I don't remember what happened after that, so Shouta, take it away!

---

Shouta's POV

I was taking a nap when I wake up to this from Izuku's room.

"Open up the fucking window! NA NA NA NA SOMETHING SOMETHING! OH FUCKING SHIT, TAKE MY ENTIRE LIFE AWAY! I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS WORLD! GOD SAYS THIS ENTIRE PLACE IS A LIE! IT'S JUST A REALITY TV SHOW, DADDY!"

What the hell? It's not clear either. All his words are slurred together. The last time he acted liked that was when he was-

Fucking hell. I quickly get up and rush to his room to see Izuku spinning around in circles nonstop until he falls. Then, he starts laughing like it's the funniest thing of the world. I quickly bend down beside him and smell his breath.

Wait, no alcohol. So why the hell is Izuku acting like this?

"Sho Sho Sho Sho Sho Sho Sho Sho-" The kid looks up at me, clearly not focused as his eyes keep dilating.

"Kid, what happened?" I ask. Surprisingly enough, Izuku kind of knows what he is doing even while like this.

"I GOT THE GOOD CUSH!" Izuku exclaims with enthusiasm as he hops up, unstable. I quickly stand up and grab him.

"What do you mean?"

"THAT SEXY CHOCOLATE ON THE COUNTER! SO SMEXY AND YUMMY! THINKY IT HAS SOME OF THE GOOD CUSH IT!" What is the 'good cush' though? I notice tray on the counter completely empty.

"Where did you find it?"

"LOUNGE LOUNGE LOUNGE OF 1A1A1A!" Damn it. I can't leave the idiot alone because now he's trying to make something. I quickly call Nemuri and Hizashi down. When I hear the door open to reveal them, I walk up to them as I don't think they can hear me over Izuku's horrible singing.

"I don't know what is up with Izuku, but I need to check with 1-A to see what happened. Can you two watch him?"

Hizashi looks at me, "What do you mean? That seems pretty- oh wait, nevermind. Izu, that's dangerous!

"IT'S ONLY DANGEROUS IF YOU CONSIDER IT DANGEROUS ZA ZA ZA! IS NEM NEM NEM HERE?!"

Nemuri looks at me, "We got him...hopefully."

With a nod, I go to class 1-A dorms and call everyone down. Once everyone comes down, I start my investigation, "Who brought the brownies in?"

Momo, thankfully, gives me the answer, " Kaminari and Kirishima, sir. Why? What's wrong?"

"Everyone else but those two can go back." I see the two tense up as their classmates leave. Once they are gone, I glare both of them down, "What's in the brownies?"

Kaminari decides to try to lie, "The usual stuff, sir." I use my quirk to threaten both of them.

"I don't recommend lying. What was in those brownies?"

Kirishima suddenly bursts out, "Weed!" God damn it.

"So they're pot brownies?"

"Y-yeah..."

"You both are in trouble. You are grounded for a month and have after school detention for two."

Kaminari tilts his head, "How'd you figure out?"

"Izuku ate the entire-" Before I can continue, I suddenly hear glass shatter behind me. I turn around to see Izuku walking through the window and glass. I motion for the students to get their dorms, and they make a run for it. Good.

I quickly run over and lift Izuku out.

"LET ME GO SHO SHO SHO SHO SHO SHO SHO SHO SHO SHO!" Izuku screams as he tries to fight against me. I see Hizashi and Nemuri running up after them.

"S-sorry, Sho...he got away from us," Hizashi says apologetically.

"It's fine. We need to keep him in his room."

Of course, the brat thinks he has a say in it, "BUTS ITS MORE BORINGZ THAN NEZU'S CLASSES!"

"You don't get a say in it."

"AOISDJFO;IEWJ SI SI SI DOE!" Izuku suddenly manages to get out of my arms, fall to the ground, and attempts to run off. I manage to capture him in my scarf. I walk over shakey as I throw him over my shoulder and carry him to his room. It's scary when Izuku gets like this because self-preservation is gone at this point.

I carry him to his dorm, and Nemuri locks the door behind me.

As I set Izuku down on his bed and get up to go get something, I feel him grab my sleeve and command, "Stay!" I look at him confused, "Cuddle me, please!"

That's new. Hizashi and Nemuri watch the scene with amusement as I sit down beside Izuku. Instantly, the kid crawls to my side and snuggles. I sigh as I wrap an arm around him, "Can you two get me food and water for him, please?"

"Sure, Sho," Hizashi says as he leaves.

Nemuri, meanwhile, stays back, "Has he ever been like this?"

I shake my head, "He's more willing to touch if he's drunk enough, but he never acts like this." I feel Izuku shove his head against my chest as he tries to replicate my breathing. As I said, he's surprisingly aware in strange ways. I slow down my breathing for him to match. He's still mumbling random shit, and it doesn't help that he's muttering the lyrics of an inappropriate song, but it is certainly better than him running around.

"Pet me pet me pet me," Izuku randomly says. I use my free hand and run it through his hair, and I feel him instantly relax.

Nemuri smirks, "You know, maybe he actually really likes this kind of thing. The only thing holding him back is his germaphobia." It's possible. That's when Hizashi comes in with crackers and water.

I shake Izuku, "Come on. You need to eat."

Once again, he's being fussy, "No, I don't. Stay."

"I'm staying. You just need to eat."

"Oh...okay."

Surprisingly enough, he ate and just remained by my side until he passed out. That doesn't stop him from clinging to me, but if it's what he needs.