Prompt: Izuku But as Salem (From Sabrina The Teenage Witch)

This was requested by a close friend of mine, and I love and hate that he gave me this idea. I love the idea, but now I'm going to write it instead of setting it aside. 

So for those who don't know who Salem is, he is a sassy cat that was originally human. However, he was forced to become a cat for 500 years due to trying to take over the world.

Yes, a villain cat. 

Let's do this!

Quick Notes: Izuku is 12 in the beginning, and he is already a cat. Imagine him as a dark green almost black cat.

Warning: Self-Depreciation (Don't ask me how I managed that with this prompt.)

((Shhh, I updated this on 12/23/2021. I was reading back and noticed the errors, so I went back and fixed them. You're welcome.))

- - -

Age 12

You know, when I was accidently turned into a cat two years ago, I thought I would transform back rather quickly. Sure, I didn't, and I still don't, know the prerequisites to turn back into a human, but I was confident.

Yeah, I'm still a fucking cat. And you know what? Any movies that make life as a cat paradise clearly haven't had the experience.

IT

FUCKING

SUCKS!

Actually, let me explain it to everyone.

I'm not going to say that my life before was paradise. It was far from it. I was a quirkless kid who didn't know how to chill out and was bullied. All that still applies even though I am a cat. Being a cat did get rid of the bullying, but not in the way you think.

The bullying stopped because I had to switch to online school due to my paws. At that point, I just tested out of elementary, middle, and highschool. It took too long to do the work unless I had Mom to help me.

If I had the knowledge, why should I burden her with useless shit?

From there, I tried to do SOMETHING. Anything!

But I can't. I can't do anything without hands. I'm a fidgety person, I'll admit. I love building shit. I love hacking. I love fighting.

I love doing anything a human can do, but I can't. I can't do any of that. Heck, I can't take care of myself without Mom's help!

How pathetic is that?! I can manage some things, but not everything!

I tried to get a job and everything with no success. Ain't nobody is willing to accept a cat. To make that situation worse, I can't say my quirk is cat since it's a quirk effect. I have to put fucking quirkless, which is the absolute worst.

So I'm a spectator. I watch people perform their lives while I'm trapped in a cat body.

You may be wondering: what kind of prerequisite are you expected to do?

Well, as previously said, I don't know what it is. The person who used their quirk on me on accident (an elderly man freaking out during a villain attack) told me that they typically revolve around self-improvement. He gave me the example of a college student who was transformed. Once he finished college, he became a human again.

Considering I have finished school, I don't think that's me.

At this point, I don't know what to do. I'm wasting away at this point.

I get why some cats run away and never return. They want to do something.

I decided to take a note from the cat book and escape through my bedroom window one night, and I found it relieving. I get to wander around and get into shit like villain deals! Not directly, of course, but I get to hear them.

Thus, why I do it every night. Since I'm a cat, I don't attract attention besides cats lovers and other cats. That just takes a bite, and they never bother me again.

(Yeah, it took a while to get over my germaphobia to deal with cat shit, but I had to)

Tonight is one of those nights.

I want to jump rooftops tonight, so I use an emergency exit to climb on top and get to running.

Then, I slow down when I notice a person peering down an alleyway. I approach quietly to get a closer look when I realize who this is.

Eraserhead. Damn, he looks as trashy as I heard. All black besides for his white scarf and yellow goggles. Honestly, that's the only thing that looks to be in good shape. The rest of his clothes looks old.

If I was human, I would be walking away. As a cat, I come up and sit beside him to look down. Being around the neighborhood often, I hear some things and see others. Obviously, I recognize most of them down there. I know how they work and shit like that.

Eraserhead quickly notices me and huffs with a small smile, "What are you doing here, little guy?" I keep my eyes down there. One of the guys is particularly impulsive and won't hesitate to kill a bitch. Eraserhead notices my gaze, seeming interested, "Do you know something I don't?"

Sometimes (alot), I forget that cats aren't supposed to talk. I will just talk without any prewarning.

This is one of my times.

"Depends, what do you know?" I respond casually, still looking down there.

In the corner of my vision, I see his shocked expression for a moment, but it disappears quickly, "Not allowed to say."

"Well, here's what I can tell you: the guy in the dark blue suit? He won't hesitate to kill. His quirk allows him to inject poison into his victim. It only takes a little bit for paralysis but a lot for death. That can happen within a minute if someone doesn't save that person."

"Do you know how he does it?"

"His nails. He just needs to break skin to do it."

"Do you know anything that he is involved in?"

"Some. He's pretty notorious for controlling the clubs around here. Can't keep his dick in his pants, I heard."

"Can you tell me about the others?"

From there, I explain every member to him with as much depth as possible. I can't tell what he is thinking, but I hope I am helping somewhere.

After five minutes, I finally shut up.

"That is a lot more than what I was offered. Thank you. Is there any way that I can bring you into the station to testify?"

"I mean, not like I have anything else to do." Literally and figuratively.

"Mind staying around? I'll get you some food for it."

"I don't need your food but go off I guess. You might want to jump in. The guy is starting to show signs of doing his thing."

Eraserhead nods and immediately gets to action, and I can't help but watch in awe. It's impressive how he is handling everything despite being by himself.

Eventually, that gets finished, and the police arrive. Eraserhead starts to climb up the stairs, presumably to grab me; however, I decide to jump off the building and land with no issues.

Eraserhead glares down at me, "Just because you can do that doesn't mean you should."

I huff, "Damn, you sound like my mom. I'm a cat. I do this shit."

"Whatever. Mind if I carry you to make things easier?"

"No. Hold still, " Without hesitation, I jump and land on his shoulder. I then proudly sit with a grin.

Eraserhead seems amused, but he doesn't show it well.

He walks over to the detective (who I recognize as the True Man due to his inspector gadget uniform), "This is my witness."

The True Man looks at him like he has lost it, "Please tell me you are kidding and my quirk is wrong."

"No."

"...you know they don't accept animals even with quirks."

I decide this is the time to interrupt them, "Actually, I was born human. You can look me up in your data base. Izuku Midoriya."

The guy jumps from my voice, but he goes to his car and quickly confirms it, watching me suspiciously, "He isn't lying. Come on."

Eraserhead doesn't seem to question it.

I wasn't planning on being in an interview room at a police station, but here we are.

The True Man turns on his recorder, "The questioning has started. Can you please give me your name, age, and quirk status?"

"I'm Izuku Midoriya, 12, and quirkless." The man must have searched me up because you aren't supposed to question a minor without an adult unless they are quirkless. I don't know why, but you can do whatever with quirkless. Behind him, Eraserhead stands shocked.

"That is true. Due to your situation, can you quickly explain why your quirk is not cat?"

"I was born human and quirkless. Two years ago, I got hit with a quirk that changes me into a cat and will only allow me to change back once I fill a prerequisite that I don't know about."

"True. Now, let's talk about the people themselves-"

This takes about an hour, but it does eventually finish.

"Thank you for your help. Now, I believe Eraserhead has a few sound words to tell you."

This man leaves me with the hobo, who looks stressed AF.

Eraserhead sighs, "What are you doing out at this time? You can get injured!"

"Because I'm bored at home? You can't do much as a cat, believe it or not."

"Can't you do it during the day?"

"I am either at Mom's side or at home because a talking cat is kinda weird, yo?"

Eraserhead pinches the bridge of his nose, "That's something you need to talk to her about."

"Nah."

"Midoriya-"

"I go by Izuku."

"Izuku, this is serious."

"I am serious! Even if you bring me back, I'm still going to find a way out. I'm not stupid. I tested out of highschool with a brain, not out of cheating."

"...fine. But you have to meet with me once a week."

"Why should I?"

"So I know that you are alive. Besides, you seem to have information about people that many don't. That's significantly useful."

"I feel like it's more of the second reason."

"It's the first. I only included the second to help you see logic."

"Alright, alright! Salty man."

"Watch the attitude."

"You're the one wanting to deal with me, not the other way around!"

Eraserhead sighs.

- - -

Age 15

That deal was kept up. Once a week, we would meet up, and I would spill the tea on whatever the hell he wants and more.

I don't know how, but overtime, we became close to the point of using given names (though I let them use my given name anyway sooooo).

It was nice.

Then, one day, Shouta tells me that Nezu, the principal of UA, was interested in meeting me.

Obviously, I went.

I came in and left with a job as a teacher's assistant somehow even though I am a fucking cat. My job is to help instruct students on class material or quirks due to my intelligence and overall having freetime.

Is it weird for the students to be taught by a 13 or 14 year old kid in a cat body? Yeah.

Did they fucking deal with? Eventually, yeah. Otherwise, they would have been expelled by Shouta.

Honestly, the job gives me a meaning to life. I'm still a cat, but I don't feel as useless anymore. Sometimes, I do feel like drowning myself due to the amount of bullshit I deal with, but I don't.

Today makes my third year of teaching at UA, and I am more excited than usual.

I am currently sitting on Shouta's desk in front of two of my besties, Hizashi and Nemuri. I need their fashion advice.

"Okay, does this bowtie look weird on me?" I ask.

"No, honey, you look good!" Nemuri says as she reaches her hand over to pet me only for me to hiss.

"Don't worry so much!" Hizashi adds.

I stand up and strut across the desk, "Alright, I better be fucking slaying whenever I find a mirror. If I'm not, bitches are going to suffer!"

The two of them laugh hesitantly. They know what I can do despite being a cat.

I have blackmail, after all.

I check the time on Shouta's computer only to realize that I am late!

I hop off the desk and zoom, "Gotta blast, later!"

Thankfully, by the time I arrive, I find Shouta still sleeping on the floor outside of the classroom in his sleeping bag. Hearing that they are still talking inside, I guess I can't blame him.

I sit in front of him, flicking my tail.

Shouta sighs, "They're not going to shut up, are they?"

"Nope!"

Shouta shakes his head, wiggling his way to the front door, "If you're here to make friends, pack up and leave."

The girl that was at the girl screams, and I can hear all the students scrambling to their seats.

"It took 8 seconds for you to shut up. That's not going to work, " Shouta explains with a harsh tone as he steps in. I quickly jump on his shoulder before he leaves me behind, "I'm Aizawa Shouta. Your teacher."

The whole class looks freaked out.

However, one student seems to have his concerns in the wrong place, "Aizawa-sensei, sir! You shouldn't have a pet on school property! It is against the rules!"

Well, that's a first. I look at Shouta for permission to burn his ass, and a single look tells me all.

When I look at the boy who speaks, I recognize him as an Iida. That doesn't stop me from being harsh.

"Assumptions are bold and stupid. You don't know whether or not I was someone with a cat quirk or if I was a support animal. Mark on you already. Tsk tsk tsk."

All the students look further freaked out.

"Oh, my apologies-" Iida starts to apologize, but he is cut off by the one reason I am more excited than usual.

"DEKU?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" My elementary school bully screams at me. Yeah, he's here. He's still abrasive as ever I see. What a pity.

Gives me time to play with him.

I pull out my grin, which is creepy as hell as a cat, and say, "Hello, motherfucker!" The anger I see on his face is completely worth it.

Iida does not take kindly to this, "You should not be cursing on school property-"

Shouta has had enough as he freaks them out by using his quirk, having the students near shitting their pants, "Enough!" He looks over the class before continuing, "This is my TA Izuku Midoriya. He is the same age as you guys, and he has been here for three years. He is notorious for his language and harsh tone, so if that is something you can not handle, I recommend you leave. He will always be around. Now, if we can stop with the interruptions, your uniforms are on my desk. Grab them and meet me on the field."

Shouta doesn't bother to look back as he leads us out.

"That wasn't good," Is the first thing I say when we are far enough from the students.

Shouta simply sighs, "I get your vendetta with Bakugo, but can you push it aside for teaching purposes?"

"If he treats me like shit, no."

"I wasn't asking you to in that case."

"Good."

"This is going to be a handful year."

"Yeah, but we'll survive like the past two!"

"Just try not to provoke them."

"I will!"

He just sighs louder, clearly done with my shit already.