If you have been to school at one point or another in your life, you know that the worst time to be in school is during exam time. You have to study. You have to suffer. You have to basically throw your life away for a diploma or degree that could be so much better if the education system wasn't shit.

Not talking about you, UA. You have your own problems to deal with like, I don't know, making sure your sporting events don't have the students killing each other!

Or the villain attacks. That's another issue.

Either way, everyone has problems.

Wait, I'm supposed to be talking about the exams.

Thankfully, because I said 'F U' to the school long ago, I don't take exams anymore! However, everybody else in UA must except for the teachers.

This leads to a rather quiet building, giving me the perfect chance to bully someone. This is especially true because they have robots watch the students diligently instead of the teachers who just want to give up on life.

AKA Aizawa.

"Present Mic!" I announce as I burst into the teacher's lounge.

"Shut up, Izuku, " Aizawa growls from his little corner, but we shall ignore him.

"What's up, little listener?" Present Mic asks as I approach his desk.

"I haven't had the chance to have a proper conversation with you. How are you doing, mate?" I am especially salty because he can at least call me to keep me up on the drama! I've known him for a couple of years now due to the Mafia, so he should that. But nope!

"I'm bored! I know I'm going to be overwhelmed once I get the work to grade, but that doesn't cure me now!" I can flipping agree with that, you piece of shit.

"Then amuse me."

"How?" I check on Aizawa to see him knocked out. Yeah, his sleep schedule is trash.

"Why the fuck haven't you asked Aizawa out yet?" Present Mic's eyes bulge.

"How did you figure that out?!"

"I have my connections."

"None of your connections would be able to cover that!"

"I mean, I can look at the cameras where you and he are together, and I can clearly see you watching him like the disaster gay you are."

"Disaster bi, thank you very much!"

"I can find the pictures of you staring at his ass if you want to start an attitude with me." How do I get away with saying this shit? All the other teachers are just chilling. They look at me strangely, but that's it!

Present Mic blushes darkly, "You are as bad as Midnight- she's the one to tell you, isn't she?!" I'm impressed that he figured that out. Though, I'm not one to underestimate his intelligence. He's in the Mafia for a reason.

Present Mic is the one that brings me the juicy hero information like if a hero is a hoe or shit like that. Basically, it gives me drama to use against a hero if I ever need it. In exchange, he's protected by me.

Actually, he's one of the few that asked to join. Present Mic wanted to help, so he joined.

AND YOU GUYS THINK HAWKS IS SUSPICIOUS AF! THIS IS THE MAN YOU NEED TO GO AFTER!

I smirk, "I'll let you believe that." He should know how I work by now. To make things even juicier, Midnight just came in!

GIVE ME THE TEA, SIS!

Present Mic instantly looks at her with fury, "Nemuri! Why are you giving out my secrets?!"

Midnight purrs, "I don't know what you are talking about, dear."

"You know EXACTLY what I am talking about! That's just mean!"

"I don't, sweetie."

"Are we really about to fight about this?!"

"If you tell me, we don't have too."

"NEMURI!"

Present Mic starts chasing Midnight, and I follow with the camera out recording.

DRAMA TIME!

However, I am slightly concerned about the fact that Aizawa didn't wake up during that entire time.

...

That's his problem, not mine.

---

"Mic, you could have won."

"Seriously, Izuku?"

"YOU JUST HAD TO HOLD YOUR BREATHE FOR TWO MORE SECONDS, AND YOU WOULD HAVE WON!"

"You're just starting shit, aren't you?"

"Can you blame me?"

"No, because me. But still! Why am I the victim?!"

"Because you haven't texted or called me in a while."

"...understandable, have a nice day."

"You're lucky I brought you to the couch. I could have left your leathery ass in the dirt."

"I know." I check the time and OH SHIT! I NEED TO PICK ERI UP!

I zoom out while yelling at Present Mic, "TELL AIZAWA I'M PICKING ERI UP!"

"Gotcha!"

---

When I arrive at the daycare, Eri approaches me with an elderly man teacher behind her.

Oh shit, what happened?

I bend down to Eri, "Hey girl, how are you?"

Eri doesn't react as she wraps her little arms around me.

RED ALERT! I REPEAT, RED ALERT!

I stand up, bringing Eri with me and setting her on my hip.

I turn my attention to the teacher, "May I help you?"

The teacher says with a blunt tone, "Eri was caught fighting another student."

Hold my tea, what?

Yes, we taught Eri to fight, and she can kick ass. However, we (Aizawa and Mom) made sure that she would not attack innocents. I'm saying that someone fucked up, and they are blaming my girl.

"Do you know what happened before the incident?" I ask the teacher, rocking Eri gently. If I may be honest, Aizawa should be the one dealing with this. I'll get in trouble for this later, but that hasn't stopped me before!

"I came outside to check the kids when I saw her in the corner beating a boy up."

"At least she won. Did you get the story of what actually happened before you came out? Also, why weren't you out there with them? A teacher should always be outside watching the kids." Of course, I'm worried if she won! My baby girl better kick ass with the training she has! I guess I should be more concerned about the fact that my kid wasn't being watched over, huh?

"W-well Midoriya-"

"You know what? Don't expect me back here. I'm not going to leave Eri with someone so irresponsible. Oh, and be expecting a report. Let's leave this ass, Eri."

Okay, I did my job.

Jackass. Maybe I did assume a bit, but now I get to spend more time with Eri.

When we are a distance away, I ask, "You okay, sweets?" Eri reluctantly nods, "If it makes you feel any better, you don't have to go there anymore! They can suck my dick about it."

"Yay! But won't Sho be upset?" Sho is Aizawa for anyone wondering.

"He's always upset."

"Because you bully him!" I gasp dramatically. She did not just go there!

"I do not! I lightly tease him!"

"You called him a bottom, though!" Shit, she doesn't know what that means, does she?

"Sweetheart, what's a bottom?"

"...I don't know!" Bless!

"Well, a bottom is a supportive character that receives no credit." I mean, close enough to Aizawa, right?

"Oh...okay!" Oh, Eri is so innocent! Well, in my book, anyway.

---

I was teaching Eri how to Renegade for Tik Tok when Aizawa calls us down to get on the bus.

With the standard school exams done, it's time to do the actual UA exams: the practical exams.

Yes, I just called regular exams irrelevant. Deal with it.

So class 1-A, Eri, and I head to the field because the practicals involve fighting teachers. That's all I know, surprisingly enough. For some reason, they kept a tight lip on it.

...

I'm suspicious now.

We get to the location to reveal all the teachers, which the students didn't know about, and Aizawa explains they're pairings and who they are going to fight. The teacher they are fighting is based on their weakness.

For example, since acid girl and Pikachu are not the sharpest in the class, they got paired with Nezu, one of the smartest animals in the world.

Before you ask, yes, they are screwed. They should accept their lost now, but I have to attempt to be encouraging.

Aizawa goes through everybody, leaving one last person: fucking Bakugo.

"Bakugo and Izuku, you will be fighting-" Aizaw starts to explain when somebody suddenly crashes in front of us.

"I AM HERE!"

...it's All Might...

WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE?!

I step out with Eri beside me, "HOLD MY CROISSANT, WHAT?! WHY AM I PARTICIPATING?! I AM A TEACHER, NOT A STUDENT!"

Aizawa sighs, and I don't feel sorry one bit, " Izuku, Bakugo needed a partner, and, due to your pasts, you two are a fit."

"And what's stopping me from walking out right now?"

"Eri, come here, " Hold up, what? Eri walks over to Aizawa, and he lifts her on his hip, "If you lose, you don't get to see Eri for a week." WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS?! YOU CAN'T TAKE ERI FROM ME!

"That's bull shit!" I believe Bakugo wholeheartedly agrees with me based on the expression on his face.

"You won't follow through for any other reason, so this is what happens."

"Seriously, Aizawa? I can just steal her back, no problem."

"That's why she will go to Nezu."

"You wouldn't dare!" NOBODY SHOULD BE SENT TO NEZU! NOT EVEN MY WORST ENEMY!

Then, Nezu puts the cherry on top with a grin, "I don't see the problem, Izuku. I'm more than capable of taking care of Eri."

"By boring her to death! Fine, I'll do it!"

Eri smiles, "You can do it, Izu!"

I return the favor, but I add nothing to it.

I have no idea how I'm going to face the number one hero with my number one enemy without killing one of them. Bakugo will probably try to fight him himself, and I'll let him. Better than arguing with the idiot. However, that leaves me with All Might. I'm not physically compared to the dude. I can match him in speed for .5 seconds, but that's it. After that, I'm out.

I have to figure this shit out for Eri.

---

"Alright, Bakugo, so here's the motherfucking tea: we lose, and you have to help me get Eri back. Basically, you're dealing with me until I get Eri back."

"Hah, like I'm going to lose to All Might!"

"I'll let you win it for the both of us then!"

"You might as well!"

"I will."

Bakugo isn't going to last, but I could care less what happens to him. I just need to make sure I win.

The good news is that All Might does have some restraints to slow him down. The bad news is that All Might is still going to be fucking OP. The only advantage I have is that my field is a cityscape. That's my natural habitat

Though, because All Might is a villain, I will be surprised if he doesn't mow the whole place over. Oh, and I get lost easily...

Why is my life like this? All I have are my yo-yos, and that won't do shit against All Might! The best way to do this is to run to the gate.

Don't even get me started on how I am going to outspeed All Might. I'm hoping the author gives me a quirk that makes me better than All Might.

...not going to happen? Fuck. Fine, alright.

You know, I should really shut up and actually move because we are already on the field. Oh, and the match is about to start in less than a minute. Bakugo is going to attempt to fight him, but my confidence in him is lower than my self-esteem at the moment.

AKA, it's trash.

"Round: Start!" The robot exclaims, and Bakugo and I immediately separate. Bakugo goes down the street of the dead while I go into an alleyway to run. Maybe I can work with him for once by having him distract All Might with his anger issues.

Every second counts, mate and I am going to take that for Eri.

"WHERE ARE YOU, HERO?!" All Might yells after I hear mass destruction and bombs nearby. How pleasant! And this is what your kid is learning in school, parents! Did Bakugo get out already? If so, fuck.

I'm pretty close-

"THERE YOU ARE! ABANDONING YOUR PARTNER IS NOT VERY WISE, YOUNG MIDORIYA!"

Suddenly, a WAY too powerful punch for a training session lands on my chest, causing me to fly back through A FUCKING CEMENT WALL! DOES THIS MAN HAVE NO SELF-RESTRAINT?!

DOES ALL MIGHT EVEN STILL HAVE HIS DICK IF THIS IS HIS STRENGTH?! HE HAS TO HAVE RIPPED IT OFF BY NOW!

I'm sorry. Curiosity got the best of me. I would say I will shut up, but then you won't be getting to read my beautiful words, so I shall continue to entertain you.

Off-topic. GET BACK ON, IZUKU!

FUCK ME, THAT HURTS LIKE A BITCH! This should be fucking illegal. Thankfully, I don't think anything is broken. Yet

I get that I stab and electrocute people to death while torturing them, but they deserve it! I don't.

Remember those bracelets Aizawa has me wear while on UA campus? Welp, they're off now. At most, it will even my speed with him for five seconds.

I'LL TAKE IT!

"Midoriya, are you already down?!" All Might yells, annoying me.

"Bitch, I can hear you without you yelling!" Taking my chance, I take the nearest exit and run out to an alleyway.

I pull out my yo-yos, use the scaffold, balconies, and whatever the fuck I can use to swing myself around. If there's a corner, I'm taking it. Because of All Might's speed, he has problems turning. It will slow him down while I can keep a constant pace.

Two problems.

One: I have no idea where the fuck I am going.

Two: The last part is a straight-line, meaning All Might should have no problem getting to me.

My new plan is to throw myself high enough that I can see where the exit is. This is going to hurt.

"TEXAS SMASH!"

Wait, Texas smash? That is a punch used to send an air-blast at an opponent so why-?

OH! OH SHIT! If All Might uses enough force, he can make me let go of my yo-yos, so I can't travel that style anymore. I can work with that.

I wind the yo-yo's back to me while flying up. When the smash creates the blast, I get sent over the top of the buildings. That's one way of completing my goal.

THERE'S THE EXIT! I'M SO CLOSE!

But first, how am I going to land? Because I have no idea if my shoes can absorb the shock from this fall.

I mean, maybe? That doesn't stop my ever-rising anxiety, though!

When I hear a swish, I realize that All Might is right fucking behind me. On instinct, I use the mirror on the side of the yo-yo to blind him. Taking that chance, I swing the other at his head. It lands a solid hit! Yes!

I need to move.

I change my falling style to a dive, so I approach the ground much faster. As I approach the floor, I upright my position and land on my feet.

That ripped a few tendons, but I need to move! The exit is so close!

Closer!

CLOSER!

"GOOD RUN, YOUG MIDORIYA!"

A punch lands on my back, causing me to slam into the wall next to the exit. I crash on the ground, growling. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

FUCK ME BACK! I NEED ERI!

Wait, the glasses are still on! I have an idea! The lenses work similar to my mask, so I can hack through them. At least they should collect information for me.

"Glass, they recording sound?" The programming comes up in the lens, going through shit before it responds.

"No." Is the answer

Good. Something is working with me!

"Pushing the limits, eh, Yagi?" That's All Might's real name for anyone curious!

That stops him.

All Might watches me warily, "How do you know that name, Midoriya?"

I stand up despite my spine wanting a divorce from my body, "Connections." Great job, Izuku! Make yourself suspicious!

"I need to know."

"Uh, RED ROBIN!" I zoom off through the gate, catching him off guard.

"Hero team has won! Congratulations!"

HOLD UP, THAT SHIT WORKED?! Well, I have higher priorities.

I turn to All Might, "YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO SAY YUM! ALSO, ASK NEZU!"

With that, I head to Aizawa with a goal so strong that no pain will stop me.

I find him with the students and Eri. Without hesitation, I grab Eri and stomp off.

NOBODY TAKES ERI AWAY FROM ME!

You want to know the best part about the whole exchange?

When Eri and I were walking off, she turned around and flipped Aizawa off!

She's growing up!

I'M SO PROUD!

I'M SO EMOTIONAL!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

---

Author's Note

Just a warning: I'm losing inspiration for this story, so it might be shitty.

But I'm trying!