FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I ain't fighting blue hulk ever again. That's the dumbest thing I have done this year besides getting a nipple piercing.

Where the fuck am I?

Actually, rewind time, what was the last thing that happened? Wait, it's the blue hulk thing. Man, I'm done. Obviously, I lost that fight because I don't have All Might's strength that the beast was made for. I barely matched it in speed, and I'm considered one of the fastest vigilantes! If I didn't stop, I estimate five more minutes before I was out.

I give zero fucks about that right now. Currently, I'm hungry.

Opening my eyes, I am given a dark room, AKA, I am not in heaven yet. YAY, I DIDN'T DIE TO THAT THING! Dying is not on the to-do list until Eri is an elder. Her children are screwed, but Eri is on the safe-list.

I really need to stop getting distracted.

I sit up only for some pain to knock in my spine and say, 'bitch, stay down.'

"Fuck." I curse as I lay down.

An elderly woman voice fills the room, "Language, Izuku!" Hold the phone?

"Grandma Chiyo is that you?! Did the squad kidnap you again?" I exclaim. Carefully, I turn my head to see my lord and savior.

Grandma Chiyo. However, most of you probably know her as the Youthful (Pfft) Heroine: Recovery Girl!

We have a history.

Recovery Girl is a short elderly nurse that really should retire, but she hasn't and probably never will. Recovery Girl's quirk Heal allows her to use the person's energy to heal themselves quickly. This makes her an excellent nurse if you can get past her rage over you hurting yourself in the first place. People avoid her for a reason. She's one of the top nurses in Japan for a reason!

Well, in my early years, I got injured severely because of a massive fight with someone. I won, but still. I was in vigilante hospital, and they weren't sure if I was going to make it. My squad learned about Chiyo, kidnapped her, and begged for her to heal me. Surprisingly, she didn't resist. In fact, she was happy to treat me. Apparently, she kind of supports me. She doesn't support the killing, but she does everything else just about.

From there, whenever we need Chiyo, she allows us to kidnap her, and she will heal us. Of course, I started feeling bad because we were kidnapping her only to heal us. That's when I captured her for Christmas. From there, we became a family!

Yes, she is in the Mafia

It doesn't mean we don't get beat up for it, though. She has a nasty swing.

With that explanation, let's continue.

"Of course, dear. It has been a while since you got hurt, let alone this badly. How are you feeling?" Chiyo asks as she checks over everything.

"Lots of pain. I can't tell you where. What's the damage?"

"I should have known that you require such a high dosage. Broken arm, a few broken ribs, a couple of cracked ribs, snapped spine that somehow didn't paralyze you, and a concussion. At least you are speaking fine." I watch her change the pain medication bag to something more substantial.

"My luck."

"You're lucky you need to be careful; otherwise, I would hit you. What were you thinking when you faced that thing?!"

"Distraction until my team arrives. I might have been experimenting a little bit. What happened anyway?"

"Mr. Compress put you in a marble, grabbed me, and took you home. As for your group, they ran because the heroes came. All Might took care of the Nomu, but the boy and the mist escaped after announcing that they are the 'League of Villains?'"

"Alright... Wait, how long am I expected to be in this position?"

"With your energy, a couple of days. Fully healed is a couple more days."

"Fricking fudge. How am I suppose to slip that past Aizawa?"

"Who at UA is in the Mafia?"

"It's only you and Present Mic. As for who knows, Nezu knows I am Virus, obviously." You'll meet Present Mic eventually.

"You should probably tell him, deary. He already knows it is you. You just need to confirm it."

"Then Aizawa has an excuse to arrest my as- behind."

"You know he doesn't arrest vigilantes, so why would he arrest you?" Chiyo should be a therapist.

"I think you forgot that I killed people."

"For how innocent you look, yes. However, heroes are allowed to go on gut institution. If Aizawa wanted to arrest you, he would have already. He's not trying for that. At the moment, you're making his life harder. The only reason he looks to try is because he's on the case."

"...and how was I suppose to know that?"

"Asking like a normal person goes a long way, demon heart."

"Was I suppose to ask you?" Chiyo nods, "Alright then, Grandma. Where is everybody?"

"It's two in the morning."

"That explains a whole lot. Since you seem so smart, how should I do this?" Chiyo flicks my nose, forcing me to glare at her.

"Don't be so arrogant, child! You just happen to have no social skills!"

"God had to take something away from me!"

"Oh, boy...Lord, give me strength." Chiyo throws an unsolved Rubix cube at me and leaves the room.

Absolutely boring because I solved it within a minute.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

---

"Izu, you have to talk to Ai-chan eventually," Mom says, who just came in. Currently, it's midday, and we are trying to come up with a game plan. Chiyo is now napping, so Mom is in charge of looking out for me. Everybody else is being illegal.

"I want to be moved home first before he sees me. I don't want to reveal the base."

"Your chances of that happening are very slim. I'm pretty sure he knows where the base is."

"What? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"He followed me here."

"...fine." Mom leaves the room for only a moment, and comes back in with Eraser, "You seriously let him in? Where's Eri?"

Aizawa says, "She is being babysat by one of the other members of your 'Mafia.' Heck, kid, you look terrible." At least Eri doesn't have to see me like this.

"Damn, that's a thing to say to someone who just threw his life on the line for your class."

"Except you shouldn't be doing that. Any of this. Izuku, you're fifteen, yet you are the most wanted vigilante in Japan. You have killed. How can that not bother you?"

"Someone has to take it, Eraser."

"Aizawa. I won't call you Virus unless you are in costume. However, I will say this. Virus, thank you for putting your life on the line for my class." HOLY SHIT, HE IS BOWING!

"I'm just doing my job. Straighten up. Hate that." Aizawa sighs, shaking his head as he does that.

"I have to ask: where is Recovery Girl?"

Before I can respond, Chiyo enters with a smile, " Don't worry; I'm safe here, Aizawa-kun. I'm apart of this."

Aizawa looks between her and me, "Kid, how many people are in this?"

I chuckle, "A lot."

"Any of them threatened?"

"If they are previous villains, yes. Other than that, no. They came in on free-will." There is quiet until Aizawa breaks it.

"I want in. However, I have a condition for you." Hold up, really?

"Depends, what is it?"

"Get therapy." Oh boy.

"You promise not to spread this place around? Otherwise, I will kill you." I watch Aizawa stiffen up before nodding, "Alright then! If you want someone to talk to about it, Recovery Girl and Present Mic are in the Mafia."

"...are you serious?"

"About?"

"Present Mic?"

"Your boyfriend? Of course! He's one of my most valuable members!" Aizawa sputters for a moment but recovers quickly.

"You know what? I see what you do in an investigation. I'm not even going to ask. What am I doing here?"

"Mostly information gathering. This is a rather impulsive decision for someone like you."

"Never had the chance to ask as you would be doing something." Wait a moment.

"This is for Eri, huh? She does know, by the way."

"Partially. It's still in an attempt to protect you while gaining information."

"Alright, then."

That conversation ends for a moment. With a sigh, Aizawa sits in the chair beside the bed.

"How long are you here for?" Aizawa asks as he leans back.

I sigh in sadness, "A couple of more days, why?" I won't survive, but still.

"I need you to fight my class." OH, THANK GOD I DIDN'T HAVE WATER IN MY MOUTH!

"What?! You want me to kill them?!"

"No. I want you to fight them as Izuku. Since you're a toned-down version of Virus and I know you can defeat them, I need you to show them that their quirk isn't everything. I don't think they understand fully. Maybe you can tell them about some of the cases you have covered as well. Bring them the reality of being a hero."

"When I am a detective?"

"One of the top detectives. I know you have seen and done sh-stuff, so you're the person to do it."

"It gives me an excuse to beat them up. Sure!"

Chiyo interrupts, "Without injuring them! I don't need more students in my office because of you! You better hold back, or you will be bald the next day!"

"Excuse me, but it's not my fault that I decide to say screw self-control."

Both Aizawa and Chiyo shake their heads.

Suddenly, the door swings open and Eri appears in my lap carefully. I look up to see Himiko and Dabi at the door.

"Sorry, but we couldn't stop her." Dabi groans.

I smile at Eri, "It's fine. I was trying to prevent you from seeing this, sweets."

I think I have been around Eri too long. Want to know why?

SHE PUNCHES ME IN THE FRICKING NOSE HARD!

"THAT'S FOR HIDING FROM ME!" Eri screams. Then, she flops on my lap. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close.

"Dang, Eri, I'm sorry!"

"It better not happen again!"

"Of course, it will! You can punch me every time I do it. Deal?"

"...okay!"

Damn, why can't I be this easy to satisfy?

From there, Aizawa has to head to work, and the Fuckers, Mom, Chiyo, Eri, and I all chill in this horrible room.

I mean, at least I have people to annoy for the time being.