Polladot5024: now, as a oneshot idea, what do you think about writing the faculty and/or class 1-a's reaction to their hobo teacher and crackhead janitor getting together? bc on one hand, I see (Y/n) kicking the staff room door open like "YALL GUESS WHAT I'VE GOT SUM GAME" but on the other hand, I see Shouta and (Y/n) just... never mentioning the fact that they're dating now so now everyone else is trying to figure out what their relationship is.(bonus points if Nemuri and Hizashi are trying to get them together without realizing that they've been official for like, three months)Yeah, it's been a while. I just wasn't (rephrase, I still ain't got a clue) sure how to make of this. Hopefully, impulse writing leads me to the right way.

- - -

"Shouta, can you stop watching me like I am about to murder someone? I haven't done it yet, and I don't plan on it."

Yeah, this is how we're going to start our morning: I ran into a Karen on my way to UA this morning, and she really thought she was going to charge me for assault?

Ma'am, this is the McDonald's drive thru. We don't have time for your goddamn temper tantrum.

I considered running for a hot second, but seeing how the cops would take that as an excuse to finally arrest me, I stayed while calling my new BFF Tsukauchi. Sure, he was pissed, but he got me out of it.

That's how I was an hour later. Like, goddamn bitch, I have a life unlike you.

"You can't tell me you haven't considered it," Shouta decides to point out.

"I've thought about murdering you multiple times due to your bullshit. I don't see how this is different."

"You broke three pencils."

"They were Kayama's, so it's fine."

Kayama squawks, "What?! Is that where all my writing shit went?!"

"Yeah. They looked stealable, so I stole them."

Shouta sighs, "That's what I mean. Someone has to keep you out of jail."

"Sir, I am perfectly capable of joining a prison gang."

Shouta notices the time and stands up, "Nemuri, can you watch them?"

Kayama snaps from her stupor, "Certainly! Have fun with your students!"

He simply grumbles as he leaves.

"You got him whipped," She points out as she tries to sit in my lap, but I shove her off. She decides my table is the next best seat despite Yamada being missing and his chair being right there.

"I am not into that, ma'am."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it! Even I can't do that."

"Honey, just because you have nice boobies and ass does not mean you can get everybody."

She scoffs, "You really know how to rub a girl the wrong way."

"I believe I have the right to do that considering what you do to me."

"Hey, don't be like that."

"I am."

Kayama sighs, laying on my fucking desk when she remembers something, "Hey, Hizashi and I are going to hang out at his place tonight! You should join us!"

"Last time I came over, I was locked in room with Shouta of all people."

"You liked it."

"No, I didn't. We had to wake up every couple of hours to make sure you guys hadn't gotten arrested yet."

"Wait, I thought Sho said he didn't care if we got arrested?"

"He does if we have to deal with your bullshit."

Kayama gasps, "So rude! Anyway, there won't be any drinking, and there's free food."

"...That's fucking rude. You can't just use free food against me."

"But I just did~" She fucking sings, and I never want to hear it again.

"Fine, I'll come!"

"Yay! I'll have Hizashi pick you up! Oh, can you convince Shouta to join us?"

"Why should I? I had to give him coffee forever to get him to go last time. I ain't doing it without compensation."

"Isn't free food enough?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because Shouta is an ass, now give me something good!"

"I'll pay for a shopping trip!"

"That's a whole different ballpark, sweetie. Come back."

Kayama groans, "What the hell do you even want?!"

"Hmm...Oh, can you buy me a Crunchyroll subscription?!"

"Seriously? How much is that?"

I pull it up on my phone and show it to her, "It's a few bucks a month."

"Oh. I was expecting you to ask for something super expensive. That's cheap. Why won't you buy it yourself?"

"Because I am cheap. I worked at the grocery store before working here, remember?"

"I shouldn't be shocked. I'll get you six months, how about that?"

"Wait, seriously? I thought you would only buy a month!"

"You would have asked for more."

"Yes, but not six!"

"Do you want me to lower it?"

"Noooooo, please. I need it."

Kayama smiles at me innocently for once, "I can work with that."

She takes my phone and proceeds to buy it for me.

I can cry.

"Thank you!" I exclaim.

"No problem! Just remember our deal."

"Bring Shouta: got it!"

- - -

"What the hell did Nemuri barter with you to get you to ask me to come with you to hang out with psychopaths?" Shouta asks as soon as burst into his office and tell him to be ready for tonight.

"She got me six months of Crunchyroll!" I tell him, excited for my new adventures into anime.

He facepalms, "Of course she did."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"And I thought you loved me."

"I do. I just rather stay alive."

I sigh, "Will coffee change your mind?"

It's Shouta's turn to sigh, "Fine."

"Thank you!"

I kiss him on the cheek before running off to tell Nemuri the news.

- - -

I am ready for tonight. I consider taking shots, but decide that it is not worth getting arrested over this shit.

I don't even bother dressing up. I was supposed to relax tonight, and I am going to relax in every other way possible by just hopping into Yamada's car in PJs.

Yamada doesn't seem to notice as he smiles, "Hey, (L/N)! Glad you could join us tonight!"

"I'm getting free food over this, so no problem!" I tell him with an equally happy smile.

Yamada chuckles as he drives, "I'm not surprised."

We have casual chat in the car. Surprisingly (or not), Yamada is chill by himself.

It's just when you add fucking Kayama to the list when shit hits the fan.

So we arrive, and I hop out of the car ready to get food.

We enter to find the place fucking redecorated. Unlike before where it was modern and sleek, it's now more calm and romantic. I don't hate it.

I'm just questioning while.

"(L/N)! Glad you could make it! Come sit!" Kayama excites as she practically drags me to the table with food prepared. She shoves me into a seat across from Shouta.

I look at her confused, "Okay? What have you been drinking?"

"Oh, nothing! Would you like something to drink?"

"Water please."

"Can do! Hizashi, get (L/N) some water!" Kayama hollers to the kitchen!

Yamada responds and quickly returns with some water.

I take it, "Thank you-"

Suddenly, Kayama's phone rings and she answers it.

Then, she proceeds to talk very loudly, "Hello? Yes, this is Midnight! Oh, there's a villain attack, and you need Present Mic's and mine help to detain it?! I can certainly get him and help you guys take down that villain! Be there in five!"

Kayama hangs up and looks between Shouta and I sympathetically, "We're needed for hero duty! Come on, Hizashi! You two enjoy your meals!"

Without waiting for a response, the two rush out, leaving Shouta and I at the table.

If that ain't sus behavior, I don't know what is.

Shouta and I look at each other for a minute.

Then, I shrug as I take what would have been Kayama's and Yamada's plates, "Welp, more food for me, " I casually say.

Shouta furrows his eyebrows, "Something's wrong."

"Don't question it. There's free food, and you certainly need it considering your shit diet."

"It is not shit."

"Bitch, don't lie. You literally only have fruit pack and ramen noodles. Just eat, please."

Shouta decides not to question it anymore. We simply eat and leave when we find out that they won't be back until the morning.

- - -

For the next three months, this becomes a daily thing. Yamada and Kayama would have something planned for all of us, we would get there, and then they would ditch us for one reason or another.

I don't know why, but I'm getting free food, so I don't care.

Shouta is more concerned, but I manage to ease his nerves.

Another thing I noticed is that anytime Shouta and I and hanging around each other, people would leave the room or give us space. Teachers and students do this. I also notice how they watch us from a distance, especially the students where they will start whispering to each other.

You would think that Shouta and I being together is taboo for the reactions we are getting now.

Thankfully, neither of us care. We just let them do their thing.

We don't learn why until today.

So I may or may not have stayed up all night crying to anime.

Look, I needed to express myself, alright? Being an asshole has its downfalls, so I have to let it out somehow, thus anime. It shouldn't be surprised that I did this on a school night, so I am having to come to work looking like I'm death itself.

Since I am in one of those moods, I want cuddles and sleep. Shouta's jobs don't really allow that, which is why I was able to do it in the first place.

Anyway, ignoring all the looks I receive, I make my way to Shouta's office and knock.

"Come on," Shouta says through the door. I enter and close the door behind me. He looks up to find disaster zone me.

Instantly, he goes from grumbling to worried, "(Y/N), are you alright? Hey, come here,"

"I'm fine, Sho. Just stupid decisions," I mumble as I go around his desk to stand beside him.

"...do I want to know?"

"Sad anime all night."

Shouta sighs, "Why do I deal with you?"

"Because you love and care for me?"

Shouta just sighs louder.

I don't care as I demand, "Lap."

Shouta looks at me, "Seriously?"

"You like it too. Don't fuck with me."

Shouta doesn't say anymore as he pulls me on his lap. I then proceed to curl up, rest my head against his chest, and knock out. As I am not woken up immediately, I assume it's fine.

I don't know how long I chill there for, but I suddenly wake up to Kayama's loud voice, "Oh, Shouta! I need to borrow a pen since (L/N) keeps stealing all of mine-" I hear for door squeak open, and she suddenly shuts up.

Shouta shifts, probably grabbing a pen and offering it to her, "Here."

I don't know what's going on because I don't want to be back in this terrible world yet.

There's a minute of silence.

Then, Kayama suddenly says, "You can't tell me what you two aren't dating." What?

Shouta doesn't seem confused as he responds with, "Never said that."

Yeah, she just fumes at this point, "...What?! How long have you two been dating for?!"

"Six months. What are you talking about? We thought you knew."

"No! Literally nobody knows except maybe fucking Nezu!"

"...I'm shocked they never mentioned it." I mean, I thought he would want it private.

"Goddamn, you guys kill me! I've been trying to get you two together for months only to find out that you two are already together!"

I hear her storm out and slam the door behind her.

Oops.

Shouta sighs, "I know you're awake, (Y/N)."

I huff, "No shit, she's fucking loud."

"You never told them?"

"I never told anyone. I thought you wanted it to be private, or that you would tell your friends."

He nods, "Surprisingly considerate."

"Shut up."

I feel him press a kiss to my forehead, "We'll tell them later. Go back to sleep."

I don't need to be told twice!

- - -

Author's Note

Sorry if it's rocky and late, but I really wanted to get this done.