Ugh...fuck me with a chainsaw because I feel like SHIT.

What happened? Am I in hell?

If so, I hate this place and request a refund, please and thank you.

Taking a deep breathe, I open my eyes to be nearly blinded by the light, "Damn, hell is bright."

"Language, " An old lady voice says sternly. I can faintly hear laughter, but I guess it's being held back.

"Hell and Dam is a location, not a language."

She sighs, "You weren't kidding when you were saying that they were something."

Yamada's voice fills the air, though it sounds like he is on the other side of the room, "You know we don't lie to you, RG!"

Oh shit, so this is Recovery Girl. I have heard some hellish things about her. This is close enough to hell, I guess.

"They are definitely an interesting inclusion to the staff."

"A lovely inclusion," Kayama purrs- fuck, she's here, and she's beside me. Great.

I interrupt, "Can you please turn off the light? I want to see where I am."

I hear a click, and I can finally see that I am in the Nurse's office on a bed. On one side of me is the old lady Recovery Girl, who is checking out my vitals. On the other side, Kayama sadly makes place. When I look around, that's when my eyes land on the other bed.

The bed holds Aizawa, who is completely covered in bandages. Yamada stands by his side.

"What happened to him?" I ask.

Like that, I can feel weight of the room increase as I see their worried looks toward me.

Kayama clears her throat, "What do you remember, sweetie?"

"I have a feeling something major happened. Just give me something to work with and I should remember."

"USJ."

I go silent when all the memories hit me. Oh shit.

I take a moment before asking, "Hold up, that actually happened? I went through that?"

"Yeah. You remember now?"

"Uh, duh. My God. I'm surprised he's fucking alive. He looked like shit."

Recovery Girl doesn't say anything about my language this time, but she slams down something much harder, "You were closer to death than he was, dear. That neck injury would have killed you if it went any further."

"...pleasant!" I have no idea how I am supposed to react to that. Imagine them having to explain that to my family. That would be a hell of a story.

"Definitely something." Recovery Girl mutters.

Finally, I look down at myself to check out the damage. On my left hand, there is scar tissue all around my hand, making it difficult to move (not that I'm trying. I hurt enough as is). On my right, the scar tissue decorates my wrist. Finally, with my right hand, I reach for my neck and feel the new rough skin.

I don't know how to feel about that either.

Recovery Girl notices my exploration, "I'm sorry I couldn't save your skin, but it was far too damaged. You will need to be careful with your left hand and your neck. You need to get some lotions specifically for scar tissue to start taking care of it."

I click my tongue, "My fault for being reckless. Does Aizawa have a similar issue? And while I'm at it, how's Thirteen and the students?"

"Aizawa has some damage on his arm similar to yours, but that's it. Thirteen will be find, and the students have received a couple days off to recover mentally and for the school to increase its defenses. However, you should be more worried about yourself. You have permanent damage, dear. You suffered the most from the attack, and you're not even a hero." I'm glad my sacrifice was for something, then.

"I swore to protect those students. I didn't realize I would literally have to do it, but I digress. It shows that I definitely need to improve, though."

"That's not what you were supposed to take out of it."

"Then we have two different mindsets, ma'am."

"You're not even a hero, and you're self-sacrificing."

"Oh, you should see the dumb stuff I do-!"

"I don't want to hear about it! I healed you the best I can so you need to rest now!" Recovery Girl then proceeds to leave me with Yamada and Kayama. I guess I made her salty.

"Alright then. Y'all, be honest with me: is this a look?"

Yamada covers his mouth to keep from chuckling in my presence.

Kayama, meanwhile, considers it, "It doesn't turn me away, dear. It gives you a more powerful appeal."

"I'm not dating you. Where's a mirror? I don't trust you."

"So mean!"

"I think that since I almost died, I have obtained the right to be mean."

"That's not how that works, sweetie."

"Mirror."

Kayama grumbles as she hands me her phone with the front view camera on.

Oh boy. That mark on my neck almost looks like a hand. How am I supposed to tell my family 'no, I'm not into BDSM?'

I don't bother to look anywhere else because I know my hair is going to look like shit and my face ain't pretty anyway! I consider throwing the phone back at Kayama, but I decide to be a normal person and just hand it over.

"How many days have I been here, and can I get out?"

Yamada answers this one, "I remember her saying that as soon as you woke up, you can leave. I don't know if that is still true or not, but I do know that she can't heal you anymore. As for how long, a day."

"Welp, I am out, and I'm going to go consider my life choices at home while taking as much pain medication as possible," I say as I stand up- oh damn, I didn't even notice the bitemark on my leg!

I wonder if I can cover these scars with tattoos? I'll ask Recovery Girl once she seems to hate me less even though I have done nothing wrong.

Kayama offers me a bag, "I went to your place and gathered your clothes. It looks nice! However, you have no nice clothes. We're going shopping when we get the chance." Time to change the lock!

"Bitch, I come to work everyday in sweatpants and a t-shirt. You really think I have something else? Also, fuck shopping. I rather die." I really do hate shopping, though.

"So boring!"

"Whatever. Where's the bathroom?"

"Right through here! Do you need help?"

"No because I'm self-conscious!" And I don't want to share a bathroom with Kayama at all. I rather suffer in pain.

"Are you sure?" Is that worry I hear? Good. Suffer, bitch.

"Yip yip!"

Without hesitation, I stand up with much regret due to pain, limp to the bathroom, slam the door on her and manage to get dress without too many hiccups. It's painful, but if I think of Aizawa, I'm in paradise compared to him.

We are completely ignoring the fact that I was closer to death than him. And that I have more permanent damage apparently.

Unfortunately, these clothes are scratching as the scars, so I'll definitely need to pick up some softer stuff. I'm totally taking it as an excuse to wear even lower standards of clothing.

I come out, "Welp, I'm out, losers. See you later."

"So rude!" Yamada huffs as he wipes away fake tears.

Kayama puts her hands on her hips, "First off, rude. Second, you need to go to Nezu first. He has something for you."

"Bleh, can't it wait?" I just want to hide away for a year. Is this too much to ask?

"You can, but he'll just come over to your place and tell you anyway."

"Honestly, that sounds like the better option."

"He hides your pay if he has to do that."

"Nevermind then. I would never find it."

Let's see what this rat wants.

- - -

I knock on the door, and I hear Nezu call, "Come in, (L/N)!"

I'm not even going to ask how he knew it was me. Though, he has cameras. I shouldn't be surprised.

I enter to find him at his desk, looking over paperwork.

Nezu checks his watch before look up at me with his usual, "You're up earlier than expected, but that is good! Please sit. I have alot to discuss with you!"

I sit down in the chair in front of him, "Well, hurry it up. I have shit to do at home."

"Ah, yes. You have that new anime to finish up, right?"

"Yes. It's very important. Keeping up on our conversations, eh?"

"Of course. I like to be informed about my staff as they are under my care."

"...bitch, you just want tea."

"That is possibly it, but I will not confirm it."

"Alright then."

"Anyway, let us face the topic at hand, shall me?" Suddenly, I swear the vibes in the office turn sour. Well, not sour. More like sad. Nezu continues, "I first would like to thank you for what you did for class 1-A and UA. Without you, who knows what would have happened. You performed a great sacrifice, and I apologize for that. It was not in your job description, and I understand if you would like to quit. I can compensate for your injuries and any payments until you find a new job."

"Uh, I would have done it anyway even if I didn't know anybody. Besides, you pay me alot. Getting injured is totally worth it."

Nezu smiles, "I had a feeling you would stay. Still, you should not have to sacrifice yourself when you are not a professional hero."

"Oh well, shit happens. Anything else."

"Well, yes. I need your help with something, but you can deny it if you want. However, I promise to compensate for it."

"Alright? What is it?"

"As you are well-aware, Aizawa is stubborn. He will most likely come to school the first day it opens again."

"That's stupidity, not stubborn."

"I suppose you are right, but there is nothing I can do to stop him nor his friends. He also lives alone, so he has nobody to help him with anything. Usually, Present Mic and/or Midnight would take care of him, but you should know that they are both busy a lot of the time. They have work, after all."

"So you want me to take care of him?"

"Yes. I also need you to be his teacher assistant and prevent him from going on patrol."

"Uh, sir, this is the Wendy's drive thru."

"You can do whatever you want besides that as long as it is legal."

"I still don't think that's worth it. How long is it?"

"Two weeks. He should be fully healed after the Sports Festival."

"Oh. That's shorter than I thought."

"We have Recovery Girl, remember? The only reason she can not heal him all at once is due to his exhaustion."

"Not surprising. Am I allowed to give him up at any point?"

"Yes."

"...you know what? I have nothing else to do. Fine."

Nezu claps, smiling brightly, "Excellent! I shall leave you be to get ready for him!"

"Is it too much to ask for you to set some money aside for my funeral costs?"

"Already have!"

"Thank you. Now later!"

"Bye, (L/N)!"

I stand up, walk out, and close the door behind me.

What the fuck did I just get myself into?