Detective Inspector Gadget from last time sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose, "Why did you fight the woman?"

"She was asking for it, and it would be against store policy to deny her. I was giving her top quality customer service by fighting her!" I ain't someone to deliver less than satisfactory results. I don't know why I'm being criticized over this.

"(L/N), you can't fight someone just because they asked for it."

"Look: the only reason the police were called was because Karen was being a sore loser."

"Karen? Anyway, you knocked her out."

"She never set the rules for the fight."

"...if the laws were any better, I would be able to arrest you as I should. However, due to self-defense laws and the lack of quirk-use from your part, I can't."

"Out of curiosity, why should I be arrested?"

"You could have just as easily guided her out with less trouble."

"Yes, but I would still be here anyway because Karens are like that."

"I wouldn't have to fill out as much paperwork with that."

"Would you support me if you didn't have to do the paperwork?"

"No, I would still be disappointed with you, (L/N)."

"Eh, not the first disappointment. Can I leave now?" The Detective merely nods and leaves, "Bye, detective!"

I don't get a response. I'm not a rude person, so I don't understand why I am getting the silent treatment. That's a question for another day.

For now, time to return to work!

---

I got fired for 'disrupting the friendly environment' in the store.

Disrupting the friendly environment my ass. I saw how Linda and Jill were always gossiping in the corner about the customers. Those aren't their actual names to clarify; I just decided they were irrelevant enough in my life not to learn their names.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE DAILY SCREAMING IN THE BACK! I'm honestly surprised there aren't more fights than there are. Either way, the work environment is shit!

Actually, the store is shit in general. It was one of those stores that are hidden in the back alleys because they aren't exactly legal due to health protocol.

However, I got paid, so it wasn't a problem until now. Since I'm not paid, I can complain about it now. Brand loyalty is not my cup of tea, in or out of it.

Whatever. I have higher priorities like getting another job. I wonder how big the drug industry is here. Though, that's an industry I would like to avoid because we all know that I would try that shit out of curiosity.

Maybe I should become a street fighter. That sounds way more fun and enjoyable.

Either way, I need to find something, or I need to sell feet pictures. I rather not do the second one, though. That's awkward AF.

As I am going into a coffee shop, I notice a newspaper, something I didn't know existed anymore. I pick it up and read it as I'm waiting in line for my addiction.

I go straight to the jobs section to find mostly jobs that I don't care for or I don't qualify for because quirk discrimination is a bitch. Notice how I said mostly. I found one job that interests me, and it's probably for the wrong reasons.

UA, the top hero school in Japan, is looking for a janitor. I thought that they would have robot that automate that shit, but I guess not? Or maybe they do, but it can't be completely automated?

Whatever, I see tea. I honestly don't care if I get hired or not; I just want to see what this is about. I'll be surprised if I get hired.

Should I really be attempting a government job? Nope!

BUT YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, BITCHES!

Oh, damn, this is really going to be living in the moment: the interviews are today in two hours.

When I walk up to the counter and ask for my usual, I ask for my coffee order to be doubled. I'm going to need all the fire power I can get.

---

Resume? Check.

Hair done? Check.

Nice outfit? Check.

Controlled sanity? We'll figure that out!

As it turns out, everyone wants to clean up shit for a prestigious hero school because there is a line that contains AT LEAST 50 people in it.

Good thing I got fired so I have no way of spending my time anyway!

I drop on the ground and take a nap.

---

"Alright, whose next?!" An overly loud voice hollers, making me want to die internally. I look to see that I'm next.

Oh shit, how long have I been out for?!

I quickly stand up and wipe my bottom off, "That's me shit-" I forgot, Japanese, not English. I switch languages, "That's me."

I approach to find...what the fuck? Who, in their right mind, puts their hair up like that? That can't be convenient as a hero.

Wait, he is a hero, right? He's extravagant enough, so I'm going based on that. Either way, I'm concerned. I'm looking at a blonde bird, basically. He wears mostly black leather and a moustache, which would be hot if he didn't also have the hair and bright orange glasses.

3/10 on Yelp. However, if I see this man with his hair down, I will reconsider. I almost have half the nerve to ask how much gel it takes to keep his hair straight up, but I digress.

"Hi, little listener! Right this way!" ...up it to a four. His smile and attitude help him. I follow him, inspecting my surroundings, "So are you nervous, little listener?"

"Nope. I'm doing this for shit and giggles. The chances of me getting this job are lower than than my GPA in high school, and that was low."

The man looks at me with surprise before laughing, "Right to the point! I like you even if your reasoning is interesting. Every other contender has be lame. But you have no idea who you are facing, do you?"

"That's also a no. Once you go to jail once, everything else seems like nothing."

"Uh, you realize that they don't accept criminal records, right?"

"I've been arrested. I've never had a mark because of self-defense laws and laws towards quirks, especially here, being broken AF."

"Huh. By any chance, are you American?"

"Yip yip! The accent gave it away, huh?"

Surprising me, this man switches to fluent English, "Uh-huh. I teach English here, so I tend to pick up on things like that. I give you credit on your Japanese because it sounds good! Oh, and we're here! I wish you luck with your interview!" As the man is walking away, he stops, "By the way, be prepared. This is nothing compared to jail. See ya afterwards!" With that, moves on.

Alright then.

I enter the door without hesitation, and I'm introduced to this huge room with a huge desk and everything only to find a rat that probably barely reaches my knees probably sitting there with a smile.

I may be dumb, but I'm smart enough to realize that there is something wrong about him.

"Am I a mouse or a bear? That does not matter, as the most important thing is that I am the principal of UA Nezu! Pleasure to meet you, (L/N)."

I merely wave as I approach, my ability to fake confidence demonstrating itself well, "The pleasure is mine. Prod me all you want."

I swear I see excitement in his eyes like he is playing with his food. RIP me, I guess.

The questions started out pretty normal. You know, like questions you expect in an interview with a janitor.

Then, we started talking about my combat training. Due to beating multiple people on the streets and a couple of security guard jobs here and there in America, I think I have that. I'm just nearly crying that I don't have a gun or a knife yet. It would seem weird at any other job, but as this school highly values security, it makes sense.

It's about twenty minutes in when I realize something is seriously off. Nezu is asking random questions that don't seem to link back to being a janitor.

Despite being the underling, I'm obviously going to call him out, "You're up to something else. You're not looking for just a janitor, are you? Otherwise, you wouldn't be asking about my abilities to socialize and shit like that, let alone manipulation."

Nezu grins wider, "You're the first to point that out. While others seemed uncomfortable, you answered them without a problem. You're very intriguing, (L/N)."

"Alright then. Spill the tea and tell me what I am actually here for."

Nezu fucking laughs, "I am hiring someone that will cause trouble amongst the staff and students yet is able to step in and protect when necessary. Consider the role a wild card."

"What the fuck, why?"

"For entertainment!"

"...I want to say shit, but bitch, that's a me thing."

"You're not going to question it?"

"Based on your vibes, I was expecting something else. So what you are saying is that you are literally looking for an unstable person to start shit and willingly pay them for it just for entertainment?"

"Yes, and I believe you are the perfect fit based on everything I have seen."

"...you give tones that you got information on others and me through illegal methods."

"The ability to break down information as such is going to help you. Welcome to UA, (L/N)!"

"Shouldn't you look and see if there is anybody else more unstable than me?"

"I already checked the cameras. I had a feeling I would choose you." Nezu presses a button.

"I literally just slept."

"You avoid the norms, and I believe that is the most significant attributes here. Everyone else waited patiently and nervously."

"Ever thought of running your own TV show?"

"Hmm...that is a considerable idea. It would help students get used to being in the spotlight as well."

"Alright, so you're literally a sociopath if you're actually considering one of my ideas."

Nezu says nothing for a moment. Then we hear a knock at the door, "Please come in!"

The man that lead me here earlier comes in, "Yes, sir?"

"Please inform the others that they may leave, Present Mic. (L/N) has been hired." Present Mic? Alright, I'll remember that.

"Congrats, little listener! I'll go inform them right now!" With that, he heads back out.

Nezu turns his attention back to me, "Let us go ahead and talk about your position, shall we?"

Nezu is someone that should go to therapy more than me. I only have four rules.

1. Don't hurt/kill anybody.

2. Don't cause an obsessive amounts of property damage.

3. Don't do anything illegal. I would just like to say that he didn't say that directly. I can still perform illegal shit technically: I just can't get caught.

4. Nobody can know that I am the Joker. I must always refer to myself as the Janitor as I'm the only one. I don't know why this rule exists when they will see me constantly starting shit instead of working, but whatever. His rule, not mine.

Nezu and I shake hands by the end once all the paperwork gets done.

"I am excited to see the amount of chaos you create, (L/N). I shall call Present Mic to guide you out, " Nezu informs me at the end.

Honestly, I am concerned for everyone's wellbeing here.

If I had a mental breakdown when I got home trying to figure out if that was real or if I finally lost it, I will be keeping it to myself.

My life is a joke!

Um, add jazz hands for more pizazz.