now that we are over i have to forget all that i have memorised:
the things you hated about me,
the things that you loved.
i have to unlearn everything i know about you, and learn again
what i was.

i will wear the lipstick you hate
to stain the white walls of your bedroom;
i will kiss our memories into the paint until my lips are chapped,
dull and dry.
i will talk about the things that made you feel uncomfortable.
you always seemed scared of the things
i could do with my words.
i will free my vocabulary now – no more chain to bind me.

a part of me hopes this poem makes you hurt.

i will take things slow with my new love
because all you wanted was to go fast.
i will love him with a slow, burning flame -
not with the wildfire that we had.

i will quit doing the things that you love
no more is the girl from our past.

i am picking the scab in the shape of you;
i am removing your scars from my skin.
i am removing you from within me;
i refuse to let this looming darkness win.

i am shedding the skin you wanted to see.

i am forcing myself to unlearn you
to remember the girl
i was.