It was just a common day

When I first found you

The smile on your lips brightened the room

As you stood on the patio, reciting some unknown poem

We were just kids back then

But I knew that something more existed.

We came closer as the years flew by.

And then when we were in class five,

I challenged you in the middle of the class

To be better, as the sand trickled down in the hour glass.

A couple more years lost in vain,

We learnt to smile quietly through pain,

It was more like you taught me so

I will never regret that, though.

We sure hanged out together, having common friends,

But I never knew when this bloomed 'tween you and me.

When I started to long for your smiles,

When I started to long for you laughs,

God, I sound so sappy but I can't bring myself to care.

Then we met again in that godforsaken tuition batch,

And when the smoke from the cigar and joss stick made my throat scratch,

It was your jokes that helped to suppress my asthma from working up.

Secrets tossed into the potion,

I was of the notion

That you would be that very constant of my life,

The one what would never waver in any strife.

But alas it was all my wishful dream

Which made me scream

Worse than my worst nightmare as you let me down.

Albeit you did it slowly, but the damage was already done.

I had lost the game at the arcade, one which I never wanted to start.

Wanted to tear my heart out in the middle of the night,

Because your memories made it feel heavier than lead.

Wouldn't ask you to go easy on me,

Because a sick part of me believes I deserve it.

To love, I was an infidel,

But you christened me, without even knowing it.

A part of me yearns more for your touch, your smiles,

And the other, makes me loathe myself for doing so.

While talking to the moon, I ask it, hoping you would answer

That is this the end for us?

That you would leave for a better future.

The something that existed between us has burned me to ashes.

Will you collect them or let them fly?

I won't ask you to not leave,

All because I want the best for you.

But in the course, I am breaking myself, do you notice that?

In every heartbroken song, poem and story, I feel myself.

This angst is killing me so nicely that I feel safe.

The darkness of the night reminds me of your onyx eyes,

I find myself floating in it but this feels much better.

Maybe we'll meet sometime again but I know for a reason

I will be utterly broken by then.

I am in a dilemma – to hold you close

Or to let you go because you were my lovely forbidden fruit.

I am crazy and I know it but will you still think of me

One day after years will have passed,

Just like the way you do now?

I wonder if anything would have been different

Under other circumstances.

Would you have pulled me closer

Or thrown me away when you would have gotten your perfect forever?

I am in a dilemma and am falling

I can't stop but don't wanna to be saved.

I am scathed from life, ugly scars covering me.

So, will you still come to save me?

Or replace me with someone that fits better?

The hurt makes me feel real,

Cause pain is the only thing that lasts.

The broken shards of my heart make it difficult to breathe.

But every of your memories, the one little splinter that glowed between us,

Works like an oxygen mask in this dilemma of mine.

But I know one thing for sure,

You will never lose your place in my heart.