I am a firm believer that every single person in life deals with a personal or emotional struggle that no one may not even know about. Life has knocked me down (emotionally) so many times, especially in this past year. My therapist, Alicia says I'm so stubborn because no matter what happens to me I try to find the good in bad situations. I used to be the opposite and I would always try to always find the bad in good situations. I would say I have mastered this skill because I have trained myself, with help from my two counselors, to change the way I think and feel. I have learned to control my emotions. EMDR therapy has been challenging in many ways for me, but mostly because of the the pressure that I put on myself to get through it. I look forward to every one of my appointments that I have with Alicia, she is amazing! It's August of 2016, and my life has drastically changed in just eight long months.

Before I get into the "bad" and stressful events that have happened to me this past month, I would love to start off with good news. I started college! I am studying at a two year community college to earn my associates degree in Social and Behavior Science. After that, I plan on going to a university. I love my classes and my teachers are great! I am going full time and so far my stress has been low, but anxiety high! It's also only been the second week of school. I have intro to psychology, intro to sociology, how to thrive in college, and English composition. Of course my favorite class already is psychology, and I can officially say college is way better than high school was.

I turned 18 years old on August 28th, and I had a fantastic birthday weekend. I don't enjoy complementing myself, but my confidence has been through the roof! I am not so scared to do little things anymore, and I actually feel good about myself. I am finally on track to becoming successful, and to be able to live my life without constant depression. Although I have recently started a low dosage of anxiety medications, because it has not been getting better. Besides that, I am feeling motivated and determined to have a better life. I love having these constant happy days, going out with my friends and enjoying time with others. I hate that girl that I used to be, I would never leave my room and most days I was too depressed to leave my house. I am feeling great change, and have my family and my therapists to thank for that. I have been working extremely hard and it's not easy one bit. Self- conflict is such a powerful, yet invisible struggle. Everyday you have to give it your all and sway the negative emotions away and replace them with good, happy, and better thoughts. If you settle for less than you receive less. Even when you feel "stuck" you have to remember that these negative emotions are only temporary. Always remind yourself that better days are ahead, and then you will be on the path to actually having those better days.

This month has been insane for me. A lot of change is happening and it seems like it's happening all at once. Beginning of the month I spent applying for college and getting ready for that.