Chapter 43

JASON’S POV

Work had been good today, long but good.  We had done two houses and so I was tired.  Leah’s nightmare hadn’t woken me up, I woke up without her next to me and it was before 5am.  Seeing her starting at the wall, I walked up to her and sat beside her and held her hand.

The day went by slowly but, being busy helped.  Being on the bus getting home, I knew I was going to sleep a bit when I’d get home and hit the bed.  Since Leah now knew that I’d sleep a bit before she got home, I was less worried. 

Getting off the bus and walking to our apartment felt so difficult.  I just wanted to lay down and if I could do it on the side walk I would.

Finally getting into the apartment, I closed and locked the front door and went to the bedroom.  After taking off my pants and sock, leaving me in my t-shirt and boxers I got under the covers and passed out.

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I could feel someone slowly touching my hand, like fingers going over my knuckles.  Slowly waking up and finally opening my eyes, I made eye contact with Leah.  I smiled at her and she smiled back.

‘Hi’ she said.

‘Hey baby.  How long have you been here?’ I asked her.

‘Half an hour.’ She said.

‘Shit, I’m sorry.’ I said sitting up in the bed.

‘You don’t have to be sorry.’ She said then added, ‘you’re cute when you sleep, and I never had the chance to see that yet.’ She said with a smirk.

‘You wake up before me sometimes.’ I stated.

‘Yeah, I know, but I never just stayed in bed, I always get up.  I guess I never thought about it before.’ She told me.

‘Is Chris here?’ I asked, hoping she’d say no.

‘Yeah, he’s in the living room.  He bused home with me.’ She said.

I rolled my eyes, wishing he wasn’t here yet.  I wanted to be with her, and the only time we had was really when he wasn’t here or in the shower.

‘Want to take a shower?’ I asked her, being hopeful.

She laughed, got closer to me and kissed me slowly.

‘Later’ she said.

‘Later?’

She laughed again, ‘Yeah, you still want to go for a walk in the park, right?’ she asked.

I knew she loved that place and I nodded my head to say yes.  She smiled and I could tell she was excited to go.

‘After our walked, we can shower.’ She said with a smirk on her face. ‘Promise’ she added.

I laughed, ‘Good.’ I said.

‘Are you hungry?’ I asked her.

‘Not that much, you?’ she asked me back.

 ‘I can wait…so walk, shower than food.  That ok?’ I asked.

‘That sounds great.’ She smiled at me.

I got up and changed clothes, and we got ready to leave.

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We entered the park, it was beautiful, all the trees and the paths taking us in different places.  It’s wasn’t a huge park, being in Toronto and all, but it was perfect.  Just a place Leah and I both loved. 

I was holding her hand and I could tell how she loved this place.  Her head kept moving around, like she was looking at everything and trying to remember every single thing.  She kept smiling and I stopped walking and looked at her.  If I wouldn’t have been holding her hand she wouldn’t have noticed but when she felt her arm being pulled back, I finally got her attention. 

‘What are you doing?’ she asked me.

‘I wanted your attention.’ I told her.

‘Oh yeah?’ she said getting closer to me and letting go of my hand.  She places her hands on my lower back. ‘How come?’ she finished saying.

I looked at her face, I could tell she was happy, but the vibe I got from her was a bit different.

‘Are you ok?’ I asked her, being serious.

Her smile faded and she wrapped her arms tighter around me and she put her head against my chest.  I then knew I hadn’t imagined it, the vibe I got was real.

‘Leah?’ I asked.

‘I’m still scarred, but there’s nothing I or anyone can do.’ She whispered to me.

‘Did you see him or anyone from your past?’ I asked, praying she’d say no.

‘No, no one.  It’s just a feeling in my gut.  I try to pretend it’s nothing but then sometimes, mostly in the morning when I wake-up and you’re not up yet, my head keeps thinking.  Mostly about all the, what ifs…’ she continued.

‘Well, I was thinking, next week there’s about 10 days left until next month.  We start looking for a new place.’ I asked her.

She lifted her head to look at me, searching my face, ‘I don’t have the money, I don’t work, how that would be even possible.  Yes, I have thought of it but…money wise, I’m screwed.’ She said.

‘I have a job babe, we’d be tight on money but if we bring in Chris, which I’m pretty sure he’d say yes, we could get a two bedroom.  He’d have to get a job to help out but, we’d be fine.’ I told her.

‘It’s not fair if the two of you are working and I just sit on my ass and do nothing.’ She said.

‘If you want a job that would be your decision.  Could you even get a job with the papers your aunt gave you?’ I asked her.

‘Honestly I’m not sure.’ Was her response.

‘Well, let’s take it a step at a time.  We’ll start looking at apartments and go from there.’ I said to her.

‘You’d do that for me?’ she asked, again searching my face.

‘If I could, I’d do more, in a second.  I love you, you’re my number one.’ I told her looking into her beautiful green eyes.

She smiled and I brought my head down and kissed her.

She broke the kiss and said, ‘I love you too, I’d never thought I would say that to anyone…you made me see things differently, made it possible for me to trust you.  My life changed because of you.  You have no idea what effect you had on me.  Thanks Jason.’ She said.

I looked at her, confused, worried.  Was she saying goodbye?

‘Why are you saying that?’ I asked her.

‘Because it’s true…if anything would happen, I want you to know how much I love you, and that it will never change.’ She told me.

‘Don’t give up.’ I commanded.

‘I’m not…no one knows what tomorrow will be like.  I needed you to know.’ She said.

I didn’t know what to say, so I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.  I didn’t want to let go but I knew I had to.  Pulling back a little I kissed her, letting my lips find hers, when she opened her lips to let me in, I slowly let my tongue touch hers.  I felt her arms go around the back of my neck.  Our lips moving together and our tongues caressing each others, I knew I couldn’t hold back for much longer.

She broke the kiss and I heard her say, ‘I love you.’

‘And I love you.’ I said back to her.

She let her hands go and grabbed my hands from behind her back and started walking again in the park.

We walked around for about half an hour.  Staying close to each other, and always touching, either holding hands or an arm on our backs.  I kept my eyes on her, letting everything about her sink in into my memory.  I knew she was doing the same, the way she was looking at me.

She came closer to me, and whispered, ‘Take me home.’

I smiled at her, and nodded my head.

We both knew, the next thing on the list was shower.  I loved making love to her in the shower.  Her moaning into my mouth and the way she looked. 

Great, with that thought, I made myself excited.  Leah noticed, smirked at me and shook her head.

‘It’s not funny, we have to walk back.’ I said.

‘Hey, I didn’t say anything to get you in this situation.’ She said, still smirking at me.

‘You didn’t have to I was just thinking.’ I whispered to her.

‘What were you thinking about?’ she asked, holding in her laughter.

‘Our previous showers.’ I said.

She laughed, ‘Do you want me to try and help?’ she smirked.

‘NO! You never help, you make it worse.’ I said a little louder, remembering all the other times.

‘No, honestly, I could help, I’d make you think of something else.’ She offered.

‘Like?’ I said.

‘Um…’ she was thinking, ‘oh I got it, you’re brothers butt.’ She said with a huge smile on her face.

‘Seriously?  You want me to think of my brother’s ass?’ I asked her.

‘I don’t know…but is it helping your situation.’ She said, looking at my pants.

I looked down and noticed that I was back to “normal”.  I guess my brother’s ass is that disgusting and helped.

I nodded at Leah and she was just smiling at me.  I walked closer to her and said, ‘Never bring my brother’s ass into any conversation in the future.’

She laughed, ‘But it did help.’ She said.

‘Yeah it did but now, that’s what I’m thinking about.  It’s very disturbing.’ I said.

‘I could say something else.’ She said.

‘No!’ I said a little too loud again.

She laughed, she found this so amusing.

‘Then let’s go home.’ She said with a smirk.

I kissed her and we got out of the park and walked towards our apartment building.

While walking back, my arm was behind her back and her arm was behind mine with her hand in the back of my jean pocked.  One of her fingers kept moving from side to side.

Barely able to hear her, but I could, her laughter as she passed her finger over my ass cheek.  Damn this girl was a tease.  I couldn’t wait until our shower so I could repay her and to see how much she liked it.

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