Chapter 38

LEAH’S POV

As Chris and I got off the bus walking our way towards our school, I could see Laura walking towards us.

‘Hey, I just quickly wanted to say thanks for the keys.’ Chris told me.

‘Well, I figured it would be easier than always giving you set, and you’re still staying with us for awhile, so I asked Jason and he said it was a good idea.’ I said.

‘Thanks, it means a lot.’ He quickly said.

‘Hey baby!  Hey darling!’ Laura said all excited.

I laughed and rolled my eyes, she started calling me darling for some unknown reason.  Chris and Laura had gotten back together, both looked really happy and it was obvious that Chris was a lot less stressed than before.

I’m not completely sure what he told Laura about what happened and what was going on but, that was their businesses not mine.

They kissed and then Laura pulled away and turned to me.  ‘How are you?’ she asked me.

‘Fine, why?’ I asked her.

‘Do you have any plans for Friday?’ she asked me.

‘No, was going to relax at home why?’

‘We need some girl time, away from the brotherhood.’ She said, I laughed and Chris rolled his eyes.

‘What did you want to do?’ I asked her, starting to walk towards the school.

‘Movies, chitchat, gossip and pizza.’ She told me.

I laughed, she knew I couldn’t say no to pizza. ‘Sounds great, I’m sure Jason and Chris would love some one on one time with each other.’ I said looking at Chris with a big smile.

‘Bite me.’ Chris answered, Laura and I laughed.

Once inside the school I told them I’d see them at lunch and went on to first period.

……………………………………………………..  

As usual, during lunch I sat with Laura and Chris.  Jason had given me money for lunch, I didn’t like that but so much appreciated.  He told me from now on, if I needed anything, I needed to tell him instead of keeping my mouth shut hoping things would change on there own.  He was just too sweet.

Alone, walking to the bus stop to go back home to Jason, I knew Chris was going off with Laura.  He did that everyday, I was glad for both of them plus it gave Jason and I some alone time and that was just fantastic.

Getting on the bus, I found a seat and sat down.  I rested my head against the window until we were finally at my stop.  After about 10 minutes I reach the front door of the apartment.

Unlocking and opening the door I put my school bag down. Closed the door behind me and locking it.

‘Hey babe!’ I called out.  Having no answer, I walked to the living room but it was empty.  Passing in front of the bathroom but that too was empty so I made my way towards the bedroom.

‘Wow, I’m alone.’ I whispered to myself.  That hadn’t happen in a long while.

I went back to my bag and got my cell phone out.  I had missed call and a voice mail.  I could see the miss call was from Jason so I listened to the voice mail.

‘Hey baby, it’s me.  They asked me to work late tonight.  I should be home between 7-9, I’m sorry, I know that’s a big gap but if you need anything, and I’m serious anything, call me back and I’ll leave.  I know with yesterday and all, it’s not the best of times but yeah.  I love you, and I’ll see your perfect perky ass back home.  Bye baby.’  Was Jason’s message, at the end you could hear him laughing.  I shook my head and put my cell on the counter.

I had left the voicemail on my cell.  I liked to keep things from him.  When he’d leave a note, I’d put it with the others.  I couldn’t throw them out, even if it only said, “going to get coffee, stupid Chris didn’t say he did the last pot.  Love you, J.”

If I was having a bad day, I’d look at the note and they’d make me smile.

I heard the locks on the door and heard, ‘Leah, you here?’

I left the bedroom and saw Chris.  ‘What are you doing here, I thought you went to Laura’s?’ I asked him.

‘Yeah, that was the plan but Jason call, asked me to come chill out with you.’ He said while smiling at me.

‘Why?’ I asked.  I had been alone for a year before Jason came into my life, I could handle boredom pretty well.

‘Just cause.’ Was his answer.

‘Cause?!’ I said back.

‘Um, he didn’t want you to be alone?  Seriously, I told him you could handle that part but he sounded concerned so…here I am.’ He said.

‘Thanks.’ I knew what Jason was referring to, I didn’t know if Chris was aware of it or not.

‘No problem.’ He said.

I went into the living room and looked out the window.  The people walking down on the side walk.  It just helped to think of nothing.

‘Why do you always do that?’ Chris asked me.

‘It just helps.’ I said.

I heard him sit on the couch so I turned and sat on the floor.

‘You can sit next to me, I don’t bite.’ He said.

I laughed, ‘I hate that couch, and the floor is more comfortable.’  With that said, I lay down on the floor, and took a deep breath in.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Chris said.

‘What?’

‘What are your nightmares about?’ he asked.

I turned my head so I could see him but he was lying down on the couch and was looking up at the ceiling.

‘Um…my past.’ I said.

‘But what about it?’ he asked again.

I rolled my eyes, turned and looked back up at the ceiling.  I remembered I told him if he needed to ask me something to ask at the apartment, no where else.  I knew he was asking because he was curious but also, because Jason wasn’t here.

‘What do you mean?’ I tried to stall but until what or when I had no idea.

‘Your past, who do you have nightmares about, what’s going on?’ Chris asked.

“Bingo” I thought to myself.  That was the question.

‘My nightmares are about my parents.’ I answered.

‘And…what’s wrong with that?’ he asked again.

‘There’s nothing wrong about dreaming of your parents, if they are nice people, I guess it can be a nice dream.’ I said.

‘But for you, it’s a nightmare.’ He said.

‘Yes.’

‘What’s going on in your nightmares?’ he asked.

‘Um…their not nice people.’ I said.

‘Obviously, if you’re having nightmares every night but what is going on in your nightmare?’ he asked.

‘Chris…’ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

After a couple of minutes of silence, he spoke again, ‘Was it that bad?

‘Yeah, it was that bad.’ I said.

‘Do you talk about it?  I know Jason knows, he’s good with you.  But do you ever just talk about it.’ Chris asked.

‘Yeah, Jason knows, I told him about it.  No I don’t talk about it, it’s…I don’t want to.’ I said.  I felt like I was in a police station getting questioned by the cops.

‘You don’t trust me?’ he asked.

‘You’re my friend, I do trust you to a certain degree but, I just don’t want to talk about it.  I see it every night, like I go back in time, re-live every single one of those memories.  I left over a year ago and when I sleep, it’s like I never left that place.  I don’t need to talk about it because, yeah maybe it’s the past but for me, it’s still the present.’ I told him and my annoyance was very present in my voice.

‘I understand…’ he started but I cut him off and sat up on the floor and looked at him, ‘YOU understand?  Really? Well then, explain to me because I sure as hell don’t!’ I said loudly.

‘Leah, I just meant, I get why you don’t want to think or talk about it.  That’s all.’ He said.

After a couple of minutes in silence, I got up, ‘I’m going to go do my homework, in my room.’ I stated. 

I didn’t even look at him, I was angry, I knew I was acting like a child but I didn’t care.  I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my school bag and went in the bedroom.  I closed the door behind me.

I let my school bag drop and I went and lay down on the bed.  I was on Jason’s side and I just cried.  I stayed there until I didn’t have any tears left.  I knew I wasn’t angry at Chris, I was just angry.  When I was done crying, I just stayed where I was.  I was hungry but I didn’t want to see Chris right now.  I got off the bed and grabbed my school bag.  I got back on the bed and started doing my home work.

I just wanted Jason to come home soon.  My cell phone was in the kitchen and I wasn’t about to go get it.

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