"Where the fuck are we going, Karlos?" naiirita kong tanong habang naglalakad kami sa mapunong lugar na 'to.

I looked around. The towering trees seemed like they will swallow us the moment the moon turns its back. The sound of crickets was the only thing you'll hear. It's already night time. Madilim na ang paligid. But thankfully, the moon was lighting our way.

"Basta." he answered.

This kid. Doesn't he know that it's not good for kids to be outside, in the woods, at this time of the night?

Napayakap ako sa sarili ko when the cold breeze kissed my skin. "Baka mag-alala sina Aling Isay. I think we should go back, Karlos."

Umiling siya, "No. I decided to help you. Just this once. Inamin mo na kasing may feelings ka para kay Antonio."

"Should I be thankful?" I said, rolling my eyes heavenward.

"You should. Malaki ang maitutulong ko sa'yo ngayon." he said, confidently.

Nagtaka naman ako sa sinabi niya. "Ano ba 'yun?"

Instead of answering, mas binilisan niya ang paglalakad. Huminto siya sa tapat ng isang malaking bato. At saka naupo na para bang nasa likod ng batong 'yun ang taong pinagtataguan niya.

I stomped my feet at sumunod sa kanya.

Hindi ko alam ang tumatakbo sa utak ng batang 'to. Ganun ba talaga kapag mga nasa one thousand na ang edad? Geez. Maniniwala pa ba ako sa batang 'to?

Nang makalapit ay namewang ako at tinignan siya ng masama, "What the hell are you-"

He pressed his index finger against his lips telling me to shut my mouth. Then he motioned me to sit down.

"Ano bang meron?" I asked under my breath.

"Up ahead is the house of a spanish friar." he answered saka muling sumilip.

"What?"

"We'll be spies." he answered with a playful grin on his face. Wala akong nagawa kundi ang mapairap. I faced the huge rock at inangat ng kaunti ang sarili para makita kung ano ang tinitignan ni Karlos.

A few meters away from us is a huge colonial mansion. Its walls are made of bricks and the windows are made from wood. Madilim na ang first floor ng bahay tanging ang mga lamp post lang ang nagbibigay ng liwanag sa baba. Sa itaas naman ay isang silid lang ang may ilaw.

Napansin ko din ang mga lalaking nagbabantay sa paligid. Most of them are filipinos but they are wearing the uniforms that the spanish guards have.

"Hold my hand, Kristin." naibalik ko ang tingin kay Karlos.

"What?"

Mas lalong lumawak ang ngisi sa mukha nito, "Pupunta tayo dun."

My eyes grew wide, "Are you nuts? We're gonna get ourselves killed! For pete's sake, Karlos!" 'Di na niya ako pinatapos na magsalita at hinawakan na ang kamay ko.

Hinila ko pa ito pero, sa 'di malamang dahilan, anlakas ng batang 'to. Maliit ang kamay pero ang lakas kung makakapit.

"Karlos! If you want to die, die on your own!" pag-angal ko. But Karlos doesn't seem to hear me. He was just looking at the mansion with a devilish grin plastered on his face.

This is my first time seeing him like this. Para bang may pinaplano siyang masama. And it makes me nervous. I could feel the pounding of my heart. Karlos has an angelic face, but what I'm seeing right now is the total opposite.

And I don't like it.

"K-karlos-" 'di ko na naman natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil sa isang iglap, huminto ang lahat.

Falling leaves were suspended mid-air. Tree branches stopped swaying. The crickets went silent. Everything stopped. Even the air stopped.

I was in a total shock that I lost my voice. I couldn't utter a word. All I could hear was the fast beating of my heart.

I turned my head to look at Karlos. But before I could get a glimpse of his face, a blinding light swallowed us.

* * *

"Open your eyes. We're here."

Unti-unti kong minulat ang aking mata nang maramdaman may tumapik sa balikat ko. Pero agad ko itong naipikit dahil sa liwanag ng paligid.

I slowly opened my eyes, adjusting my vision.

"W-what the hell." I murmured.

We're under a.. table? We're under a wooden table pero 'di kami kita because of the white table clothe. I could hear people talking.

I looked at Karlos, "Where are we?" pabulong na tanong ko.

The expression he was wearing a while ago was gone. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Parang ibang Karlos ang Karlos na nakita ko kanina.

Angels are supposed to be nice, pure. Pero 'yung kanina, parang demonyo ata 'yun.

I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff. We're under a fucking table inside the enemy's fucking territory.

"I told you, magi-ispiya tayo." he answered.

"And how is it gonna help me? You just put my life in danger." I hissed.I tried my best to lower my voice, if we get caught it'll be the end of us.

"Just shush. Listen." Napakunot ang noo ko, magtatanong pa sana ako but I decided not to. Napapairap nalang ako.

Seriously, this kid. He's got a lot of things up in his sleeves.

"Ang barrio malapit sa bayan, sa may paanan ng bundok, may nakapagbigay ng impormasyon sa amin na karamihan sa mga tao roon ay kasapi ng rebeldeng samahan." the voice came from an old man.

"Maraming barrio sa palagid ng bayan. Aling barrio?" a man with a younger man answered. Sa paraan ng pagsasalita niya, mukhang isa itong kastila.

"Ang barrio San Isidro." I stiffened when I heard the name of the place where I was staying. "Nagpadala na kami ng mga tauhan upang dakpin ang mga taong kahina-hinalaan roon. Ang papalag ay papatayin."

I gasped pero agad kong tinakpan ang bibig ko. Barrio San Isidro is Antonio's barrio. They're in danger.

I looked at Karlos. Fear and worry is rising inside me. "Karlos, we should go back."

Without looking at me, he nodded. And in just a snap, we were back in the place beside a huge rock outside the mansion.

Is this the help he was talking about? Did he bring me here para malaman ko ang plano ng mga Kastila? Para mailigtas ko sila?

I stood up, I should thank him later. I started running, running back to the place where we came from.

"Kristin! Where are you going?" Karlos yelled but I didn't bother to look back. I don't have time to be answering questions. Antonio and the others are in danger. I have to go and warn them. That's the only thing I can do.

I stopped on my tracks when Karlos grabbed my wrist. I glared at him, "Let me go! I have to warn Antonio!"

"Do you think you they'll believe you?" he hissed. "You haven't fully earned their trust!"

"Antonio trusts me!"

"And you think it's enough?" I could feel my heart pounding. I'm not thinking straight, nilalamon ako ng kaba at takot. I could feel my eyes water. "Even if you have Antonio's trust, what about the others?"

"I-I only have to save Antonio and his family, th-they-"

"Snap out of it, Kristin! They're not the only ones who are in danger. I brought you here for you to save all of them!" Tinabig ko ang kamay ni Karlos na mahigpit na nakahawak sa pulsuhan ko.

"I don't care! I don't fucking care!" I shouted, tears kept rolling down my cheeks. I'm feeling it again. The feeling of losing someone, the feeling that you can't do a thing. I hate this feeling. I hate it. "I don't know why you brought me here. I don't know what's my purpose here. But all I know is, I have to save Antonio, I'll save him-"

I winced in pain when Karlos kick my knee.

"Fuck-" I cursed.

"You're starting to become like the government you hate." Natigilan ako sa sinabi nito. I looked at Karlos, he was wearing a serious expression on his face. "You disregard the lives of many just to save a person important to you. Just like your government, they are willing to sacrifice your brother's life para lang mapabango ang mga pangalan nila."

My eyes widened. I am? Nagiging tulad na ba ako sa mga taong 'yun? I hated those people, but I'm starting to be like them?

" 'Di mo 'to napapansin, but I can see it. 'Pag pinagpatuloy mo 'to, Kristin, you're no different from them them."

But. I'm no hero.

I balled my fist and clenche my teeth, "I'm different from them." I said as I wipe my tears. "I will never be like them Karlos. I maybe selfish, but, He made me realize lots of things. I've got someone precious to me. I've got someone to protect. At 'di ko hahayaang mangyari ulit ang nangyari sa kuya ko, na wala akong nagawa. I won't let history repeat itself." And with that, I turned around.

Hindi ako tulad ng mga tao sa gobyerno. I'm not doing this to impress people. I'm doing this for Antonio. For Aling Isay and Mang Nestor. And I'm doing this for myself.

"Stop being selfish, Kristin!"

I am selfish. That helps me survive.

Without turning back, I started running into the woods. I avoided all the stones, roots, branches. But I still got a plenty of scratches. But I didn't mind. The adrenaline rush made me numb to feel the pain. 'Di ko na rin maramdaman ang takot na naramdaman ko kanina habang papunta kami sa mansyong 'yun. The whole place doesn't scare me anymore.

Ang nasa isip ko lang habang tinatahak ang daan pabalik sa barrio ay ang mga taong tumulong sakin habang nananatili ako sa lugar na 'to.

I was running out of breath when I arrived at the barrio. But it seems like I won't have time to breathe. Halos manlumo ako sa nadatnan. The Spanish Civil guards were already there. And ilan sa kanila ay hinuhuli ang mga kalalakihan, kahit na matanda hindi pinalampas. Habang ang mga babae ay nasa gilid, nakaupo at walang magawa. Most of them are crying.

I hid behind a huge tree habang inililibot ang tingin sa paligid. Some of the houses were burning. Other civil guards were taking the goods from the barrio. Lahat. The crops, the grains that all the people harvested together. They took it.

I balled my fist when I saw a man being dragged by a civil guard. He was screaming, begging. Pilit siyang kumakawala sa hawak nito, but the spanish punched him in his stomach dahilan upang mapahiga ito sa sahig.

I covered my mouth nang itutok ng kastila ang baril niya sa lalaki.

"Bastardo!" the spanish shouted in anger then he pulled the trigger.

Umalingawngaw sa buong lugar ang pagputok ng baril. The man lay on the ground, lifeless, bathing in his own blood.

Fear started to build up inside me again.

What if's started to fill my mind. What if they were taken away? What if Antonio and the others were shot dead? What if they died? 'Di sana ako umalis. I should've stayed there.

I shook my head to clear these thoughts. No. You haven't seen them yet. They might be alive. They might be hiding somewhere. Antonio is smart. I know they'll survive this.

I breathed in and out bago nag-umpisang tumakbo. Halos takbo-tago ang ginawa ko. Afraid that I might get spotted by a civil guard.

'Di rin nagtagal ay narating ko na ang bahay nila Aling Isay. Pero halos matumba ako ng madatnan ko ang bahay. The house was on fire. It was made from light materials kaya mabilis na kumalat ang apoy. Gustuhin ko mang pumasok at i-check kung nandun sila, ay 'di ko magawa. The entrance was blocked. Halos gumuho na ang buong bahay dahil wala na ang malalaking kahoy na sumusuporta dito.

I felt my feet wooble. Tears were streaming down my face. Pakiramdam ko nawalan na ako ng lakas.

I sobbed at the thought of my elder brother.

What was I thinking? I thought. I can't do anything. Even if I'm from the future, even if I know what will happen, I still couldn't a thing. I'm still incapable of protecting those who are precious to me.

I'm too weak.

* * *

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