"Ilang taon ka na?" I asked.

"Bente uno."

I chuckled, "Antanda mo na pala."

"Ikaw?"

"Eighteen. Dise-otso."

It was his turn to laugh, "Ang bata mo pa pala."

Isang linggo na ang nakakalipas mula nung umuwi si Antonio. Nagkalagnat pa siya ng higit tatlong araw because of his gunshot wound. There are times na tatayo siya at magpupumilit na pumunta sa bayan para magtrabaho o di kaya'y magtanong tungkol sa katipunan. And because of this, ilang batok ang inabot niya mula kay Aling Isay.

Dahil nga "disabled" si Antonio, I was the one who helped the old couple. They let me stay here, so yeah, I have to return their kindness. I already "canceled" my plan, the "befriend-Antonio-so-I-have-a-place-to-stay" plan. I know, that was rude of me to be taking advantage of their kindness. But, it all changed now. Kaya ginagawa ko ang lahat ng makakaya ko just to repay them.

But I think I'm not doing a good job. Well, aside from the fact that I haven't done any chores in my entire life, I came from a very rich family and we have maids to do all the household chores. That also explains why I suck at chores.

"Anong nangyari?" I asked Antonio nang makaupo kami sa isang malaking bato facing the river.

Since I was bores to death, Antonio decided to tour me around. I was hesitant at first because, y'know, I get weird feelings when I'm with him. It creeps me out but at the same time, I like it. As I've said, I was gonna die of boredom, kay sumama nalang ako sa kanya.

"Sa?"

"Dun sa unang laban niyo." I said, nonchalantly. I saw how his face turned dim. Saka ko palang narealize ang tanong ko. And now, I wanna slam my head into concrete wall. It's only been a week after the incident, the wounds inflicted in his heart haven't healed yet. And here I am, asking him what happened without even considering his feelings.

Napayyuko ako, "Pasensya na.."

"Napakarami namin," he started."Ang ilan sa mga kapwa namin na naging gwadiya sibil ay iniwan ang mga kastila at pumanig sa Katipunan." he smile, bitterly. He picked up tiny stones and threw it to the river one by one.

"Akala namin ay magwawagi kami at matatalo namin ng mga kastila, ngunit nagkamali kami." he stared at the stone the was holding, wearing a dim expression. "Nagpadala ng dagdag na kawal ang mga kastila sa Pasong tamo kung saan kami unang nagtipun-tipon. Marami sa aking kasamahan ang napatay at nahuli. Kaming kaya pang makatayo ay napilitang umatras patungong Balara."

He looked at me. I couldn't help but stare at his dark brown eyes. "At alam mo ang nakakalungkot, ang labanan ang kapwa mo Pilipino na hindi pumanig sa Katipunan."

There's too much pain in his eyes. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

"Nakita ko rin ang pagtangis ng supremo para sa nasawi naming kasamahan. Masakit din para sa amin ang hindi pagpapadala ng tulong ni Heneral Aguinaldo ng tulong na hinigi ng supremo."

Aguinaldo? Emilio Aguinaldo?

I've read in the book about his betrayal. So, it has began.

Having the knowledge of the future is pretty scary. Instead of being helpful, this knowledge id a burden. Alam mo nga ang mangyayari sa hinaharap, 'di mo naman pwedeng sabihin sa iba. You'll just stand in the corner and watch everything happen.

I sighed, "Antonio."

"Hmm?"

"Paano kung may makilala kang tao na nagmula sa hinaharap?" I asked without thinking.

He raised a brow, "Tao mula sa hinaharap? Posible ba ang ganun?'

"E-ewan. Pero, halimbawa lang. Paano kung may makilala ka? Anong gagawin mo?" I should just give this up.

"Kung ganun, tatanungin ko siya." agad naman akong napalingon sa kanya.

"Tatanungin?"

Tumango siya, "Tatanungin ko siya kung magtatagumpay ba ang himagsikan. Kung magbubunga ba ang aming paghirarap."

I gulped. Why do I have this feeling that he is asking me? I am from the future, so I know the answer.

Should I tell him that the revolution succeed? Should I tell him na naging malaya ang bansa? But there are still people that aren't yet free. There are a lot of people like me in the future.

"Malaki ang posibilidad na masawi ako sa gitna ng laban bago ko pa makita ang paglaya ng bayan."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

He's talking about death. The topic that scares me the most. I don't like talking stuff about death. Moreover, I don't like stuff about losing someone important. I'm scared of losing people I care the most.

Malaki ang posibilidad na masawi si Antonio habang nasa laban, pero sinabi ko na noon, I'm no hero. I cannot change history and save everyone here, but I will save Antonio. That is my way to repay his kindness.

"Kristin, anong klaseng pamilya ang mayroon ka?"

Nagtataka akong napalingon sa kanya, "Ba't mo naman natanong?"

He shrugged, "Wala lang. Ilang araw ka na naming kasama ngunit pangalan at edad mo lang ang aking alam."

It's true. He doesn't know me. He doesn't even know my surname or where I came from. And me, I know a lot about him. I even know the most confidential stuff about him. But still he...

"Antonio, ba't mo inamin sakin na kasapi ka ng katipunan? 'Di ka ba natatakot na.. na sabihin ko 'yun sa iba?" I asked.

It took him a while to answer, "May nagsasabi sakin na pagkatiwalaan ka."

Gut felt, huh? He trust his instinct. He trust me.

He trusts me..

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Sa sobrang lakas ay parang 'di na ako makahinga. Is this the feeling you get when someone tells you they trust you?

Napangiti ako. Para akong isang manika na first time nakaramdam ng ganitong emosyon. Nakakapanibago.

Eight years of building a wall around my heart. Eight years of making it strong, making it high and mighty. And here comes Antonio, smashing right through it without exerting any effort.

"Bakit napakalaki ata ng iyong ngiti?" agad na nawala ang ngiti sa mukha ko ng magsalita muli si Antonio.

"H-ha? W-wala."

"Sabihin mo na."

"Wala nga." I stood up at naglakad palapit sa ilog.

I can't let him see how my face heats up. Anong iisipin nun. Baka isipin nun, may gusto ako sa kanya. Oh my god. What the heck? Of course 'di ko siya gusto. I'm just feeling generous towards him.

"Kristin?"

"May kuya ako."

"Ha?"

Having someone who trust you, someone that tells you their deepest secret without any hesitation, is the best thing a person who spent all her life hiding in her comfort zone could ever have.

Diretso akong nakatingin sa ilog, "Masayahin, masipag, matalino, matulungin. Napakabait niya. At dahil sa kabutihang 'yun, 'di na niya alam na sinasamantala na pala ng ibang tao ang kabutihan niya."

Antonio trusted me. And I want him to lean on me. He may seem tough, but after seeing him mourn for his comrades, I've seen the weakest part of him. His heart. But at the same time, it's his strenght. The one that keeps him going. And I wanted to be the one that'll help him stand when he falls.

I needed someone to bring me out of the darkness of my so-called comfort zone. And, Antonio did it. I showed him the side of me that I tried to hide from others. He saw the real me. Ang totoong ako na pilit kong itinago for the past ten years. And in return, I want to save him. I don't know why Karlos sent me here, I don't know what's the purpose of me being here, but all I know is to save him.

Napabuntong-hininga ako at humarap kay Antonio habanag nakapamewang, "Hindi ko talaga maintindihan ang mga taong mababait."

Napatawa naman siya, "Masaya kaya ang maging mabait."

"Bakit? Naranasan mo na?" I teased while raising a brow. Instead of answering, he just laughed.

Darn it. Even his smile is angelic.

-

It was already dusk so we decided to head home. We stayed on that rock the whole day, talking about stuff. I told him about my family, except the "My-parents-were-business-tycoons-and-they-were-also-historians' part. 'Di ko rin sinabi sa kanya ang mga tungkol sa hinaharap. I don't want to bite my toungue again. It always happen. Everytime na madudulas 'tong dila ko o may masasabi akong tungkol sa hinaharap, palagi kong nakakagat.

"Kristin, ano nga pala iyang hawak mo?" napatingin ako sa itinuro ni Antonio. It was my phone. "Ngayon lamang ako nakakita ng ganyan."

"Ah ito ba?" I raised my phone para mas makita niya, "Smartphone ko 't-" but before I could finish my sentence, my phone slipped out of my hand. Nahulog ito and what shocked me most is that, it fucking bounced its way to the fucking river!

"Oh, God. Oh God No!" Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip pa, hinubad ko ang suot na tsinelas at lumusong sa ilog.

"Teka, Kristin!"

No. No. No. No! 'Di ko pa na-upload lahat ng photos ko with one direction sa instagram! I cannot fucking lose my phone! It's too damn important! I can buy a new phone but I can't take another picture with them! The backstage pass was more expensive than the ticket itself! And I'm sure mom won't let me go to One direction's concert again. I'm sure she'll use the time where I ditched the university's celebration of independence day as a reason to stop me from doing what I want.

"Kristin! Malalim ang ilog na iyan!"

Agad akong napahinto.

"Say what?"

Oh.

Fuck!

Pilit na inabot ng paa ko ang lupa o bato na pwede kong maapakan, but oh my freaking God! Wala ako maapakan! I can't swim! I'm rich, but attending swimming lessons doesn't interest me! And I freaking regret it!

I started moving both my hands and feet, hoping that it'd get me back to the river bank. Maybe because of adrenaline rush, nakalimutan ko na hindi pala ako marunong lumangoy. I continued struggling, but it was no use. I was sinking!

Nagulat ako nang biglang may humawak sa bewang ko at inangat ako. I looked at the person, and I could feel my heart beating fast.

Dinala niya ako pabalik sa gilid ng ilog. And I didn't expect what he did next.

"Anong pumasok sa isip mo at lumusong ka sa ilog?! Hindi ka pa marunong lumangoy!" bulyaw niya.

My eyes grew wide. It was the first time he shouted at me. I've seen him get angry, but this time, it's different. He is angry... because he is worried?

"P-pero, 'yung phone ko-"

"Mas mahalaga pa ba ang bagay na iyo kaysa sa buhay mo?! Paano kung napahamak ka?!" mahigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa magbilang braso ko. He's looking directly in my eyes. Is it just me or naiiyak siya?

Why.. why's he acting this way? Is he angry because he's worried? Did I worry him too much kaya siya nagkakaganito?

Inalis niya ang pagkakahawak sa magkabilang braso ko saka napayuko. "Huwag mo ng ulitin yun." Nagulat ako sa sunod niyang sinabi, "Huwag mo na ulit akong takutin ng ganoon, Kristin."
-

Short updaaaate. Sarreh mga bes. Busy ang iyong lingkod.
By the way, busy ako mula bukas hanggang November 1. Kaya kapit lang mga bes. Pramis, mag-uupdate ako ng mas mabilis. Rank #10 na tayo sa historical mga bes!

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