Song - The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage.

Artist - Panic! At the Disco

As the next day of school rolled around so did my job as Victoria's Monitor. I had decided to wait until after class to meet up with her, but that idea went out the window when I heard a "Josh!" From behind me as I was about to walk into the building, it was Victoria. She was wearing a grey skirt that came way above her knees; her tie was done loosely and as a result threatened to slip off her neck and get carried by the wind. One of her shoe laces was undone, and her hair was left hanging messily by her sides, she was running up to me panting and out of breath.

"Oh hey, Victoria!" I shouted from across the field.

"Hi! I didn't know you would be here-aah!" Suddenly as she was running, she stepped on her untied shoelace. She lost her balance as she started to wobble from side to side in an attempt to stand up straight. She failed. Her whole body moved the wrong way, and she lunged forward unexpectedly. She tripped and practically somersaulted through the air before banging into me. I had no time to process what was happening before we both fell to the floor with a loud crash.

A few chuckles could be heard across the playground as we both just lay there for a while. I opened my eyes which I hadn't noticed I had clamped shut, blinked a few times before realising I hadn't just been attacked. I tried to sit up but when I did I felt this huge weight on my stomach, and that's when I noticed Victoria sprawled across my lap.

"Are you OK? Oh, I'm such a klutz, sorry Josh." I heard Victoria say as she desperately tried to scramble up off of me.

"If by OK you mean I think you may have just broken my ribs then, yeah I'm totally OK." I groaned as I got up, rubbing my butt which was still sore from the impact. After the pain had subsided a little I lent a helping hand to Victoria, who was still on the floor. As I got up, the wind blew, and I shivered, the collision had almost made me forget it was like minus two freaking degrees, and all I had was my blazer.

"Yeah sorry about that, I should have been looking where I was going," she replied, scratching her head.

"No biggie, just be more careful next time otherwise you're gonna end up killing someone." I laughed nervously while my teeth chattered.

"Yeah." She smiled back, blushing a little bit.

No one said anything for a while; there was a horrible awkward silence as the field soon emptied. We were the only ones left standing, facing each other, not knowing what to say. The no speaking thing was killing me, but I didn't want to say anything. Luckily I didn't have to because Victoria eventually spoke up.

"Um, Josh shouldn't we get to class?" She muttered

"Oh, crap class!" I cried as I looked at the time, 8: 32, and class began 8:35. " Oh God, we're gonna be late!" I panicked "Come on Victoria lets go before a teacher finds us!" I said hurriedly; I had been too busy doing nothing I just lost track of time. My first day as a monitor and I was going to make us both late for class.

Great work there buddy I thought to myself and without waiting for a reply from her I grabbed her hand and started running.

"Are we late then or?" Victoria panted as we dashed our way through the rows of people also desperately trying to get to class on time.

"Not yet, but we will be if you slow down!" I answered back.

Luckily for us, the class wasn't that far away, we turned the corner, ran straight down the corridor, other corner and into class. We quickly sat down just on the bell; we had just about made it. Talk about cutting it close I thought. I then turned to Victoria, who seemed equally out of breath sitting about one row behind me. I gave her and apologetic look but she's just smiled at me and then class began.

***

After class, I waited for Victoria so that I could walk her to the second lesson. We were strolling down the corridor, which usually should have been crowded. It always got like that in the hallways after every class. The rush we called it, and if you managed to get into an especially busy area it, was advised to keep to the walls. Some people found it so funny to barge purposely through the crowd while expecting people just to move aside like they were flipping royalty, which usually just ended up with a massive human pile up in the middle of the path.

But today was calm, there always used to be at least one tower of toppled people in the corridor somewhere, but there wasn't one in sight. I took advantage of this somewhat quiet and started making small talk to lighten things up.

"I'm sorry about falling on you, did I make you look bad?" Victoria apologized out of the blue just as we were passing the lockers.

I had noticed she had been doing that a lot, saying sorry for things that weren't her fault. Or taking the blame for things that she didn't need to. I don't know why but that kind of bugged me, not that it was irritating or anything, it just didn't sit right with me.

"No, it's fine, it could've happened to anyone," I smiled.

"Did you get hurt anywhere?" She asked sheepishly.

"No don't worry, you only broke my right rib, so it's all good." I laughed.

"Oh god, I'm sorry it must have been painful! You should have told me and I would have got you to see the school nurse. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She was flustered.

I looked down at her flushed, panicked face and figured I needed to do something to get her to loosen up a little. So without warning, I flicked her hard in the middle of her forehead.

"I- Ow! What was that for?" She whined.

"Look you need to stop saying sorry for every little thing that you do wrong, because sometimes it isn't your fault. Relax, I was joking, you didn't break anything I'm all right, see." I thumped my hand hard against my chest to prove it. "Ribs still intact. So don't apologize, it will make you an easy target for the bullies."

She stopped flailing her arms around and gave an attempt at an angry look. "Well, you could have told me that sooner before I said all that stuff. I felt terrible." She puffed up her cheeks a little annoyed. "Well whatever, you seem like a nice person anyway. I don't get why you're always isolated. What happen to your friends?" She asked.

I felt my heart sink to my stomach. Great, this topic I thought.

Family always brought back dark memories I'd rather forget, so I refrained from telling people about it as much as possible. I had already made that mistake once, and it didn't turn out so well. The sad thing is, when you're a child from a messed up family, everyone feels the need to treat as if you are crazy as well. People shun you, you get laughed at, you get labeled as a psycho. I had already had to deal with that shit in the last few years of primary and wasn't about to let it happen again. But another thing, no matter how hard I tried to conceal it, the truth always found its way out in the end, and so the cycled continued all the way up to high school. Sad I know but, I got used to it eventually. In that kind of situation, there's no room to show weakness; you have to act tough, build up a wall in front of others that people can't get through.

Had this been any other person and I probably would have changed the subject by now, but for some reason, I felt comfortable around Victoria. She didn't seem like the kind of girl to judge a person because of their background and despite only knowing her a few days, I felt like I could trust her with family issues.

"Well you know, I'm not very good at talking and stuff. You know with people, I was never good at socializing with others, well because of my situation at home people never really understood me and my problems..." I refused to say anymore after that.

"I understand, I won't bring it up again." She hung her head as she twiddled her thumbs.

"No it's fine," I reassured her, "it's just no one had ever wanted to get to know me because of how my life is," I said dismissing it by waving my hand as if it didn't phase me in the slightest.

"Well that's stupid in my opinion, you can't just make generalizations about someone unless you've met them first, and you genuinely seem like a nice guy," Victoria said folding her arms.

I stared at her for a moment. I hadn't expected that type of reaction from her, all the people I had ever told had either distanced themselves from me or spread the gossip to their friends. I didn't know what I was expecting her to say, and I didn't know why I was even telling her all that stuff seeing as where speaking about it got me the last times.

I smiled to myself as I looked at her. "Well sadly not everyone thinks like you. It'd be good if people did, though." I sighed, relaxing a bit now that was out in the open.

"Yeah, but the world isn't like that..." Her voice changing from it's usually cheerful tone to one of slight sadness. Her facial expression changed from smiling to a frown. The whole thing lasted just a little more than two seconds, short but very precise.

I looked at her, slightly concerned. Thoughts were buzzing in my mind as to what had happened. I rubbed my eyes a few times wondering if the face I saw her pull was just a trick of the mind. I looked at her, but I could find not a trace of sorrow or despair, it must have been my imagination. She must have noticed her sudden mood swing because she soon after went back to her usual self.

"Oh I'm sorry, ignore me I'm babbling again it was nothing forget it please," She said. Though I agreed, I couldn't help but picture that face at the back of my mind and wonder.

"Anyway, Josh you said you found it hard to make friends and talk to people and stuff, but you made friends with me pretty easily." She smiled sweetly again, changing the topic.

I thought about it for a while, and I couldn't figure out why I was so comfortable around her. I guessed my body had just got so used to seeing her. "That's true, but I suppose it comes down to the fact that, you took the time to speak to me, and you don't treat me like the rest of the school, and generally you're a good person," I said without thinking.

Victoria blushed, and didn't say anything for a while until she eventually found the courage to speak up again and replied with a meek "thanks."

As we continued to stroll, I noticed the hall was beginning to fill up a bit more. More people started showing up, and it got loud quite quickly. In my school, it was pretty easy to figure out the categories as was it equally as easy to fit into one. Like your average run of the mill school, we had your popular's, emos, nerds, normals, weirdos, and lone wolfs. It was always easy to guess which category a person belonged to, by what they wore, how they spoke and their attitude.

Oh, and if you happen to be wondering where I fitted into all of those well, I didn't belong to any. I was in an entirely different category of my own which if I'm honest didn't bother me at all. I was never on board with the whole finding your place thing, I mean just because I didn't speak to people that much didn't mean I had to sit with the lone wolfs, I just didn't see the point.

We sped up our pace a little as the crowd started getting bigger but as we did, I realised we were nearing the notice board. Despite the people rushing about us, I thought it was a good time to test my tour guide skills, and lighten the mood while I was at it.

"This here is our wonderful school notice board in its natural habitat; now I would advise all passengers to keep their arms and legs inside the cart at all times as this creature is armed with sharp thumbtacks and if you have to, approach with caution," I said faking a serious tone.

Victoria giggled softly, "You're so weird."

"Thank you I try. But all joking aside this is our school notice board if you couldn't clearly read the sign above it. If there's anything new going on in school, it will definitely be on here somewhere." I said in my best tour guide voice.

"So I guess I should let you look at it. Maybe you'll find something you like, though no one ever really does." I said just about ready to move on, but I when I turned round I was surprised to see Victoria eagerly looking and reading all the pieces of paper up there. She looked as if she was searching for something and I was about to ask her when she suddenly came to a stop on this particular poster.

"Hmm, what you looking at?" I said leaning over her shoulder.

"This." She pointed at a poster that read, 'Start your own club' and I raised an eyebrow.

"If you're interested and passionate about one of your hobbies, why not make it into a club? Just visit the student council room at break or lunch to fill in a form. You must have a description of what your club does and what the name is, for it to be put on the notice board. Also, your club must have five or more members to qualify for a chance at becoming one of the school's official clubs. The rest of the details will be provided after the form is submitted." Victoria read aloud as her eyes lit up with excitement.

"Josh, this is great," she said.

"Huh, what do you mean?" I said not listening; I didn't get what she was all hyped up about it was just a poster, the same as almost every other one up on the wall.

"This!" She pointed at the sign like it was supposed to explain something while getting more excited. Was I was just missing something, or maybe she just had a weird poster obsession?

"Colour me confused," I replied wanting to know what all the fuss was about.

"Never mind what I said before." She began, then cleared her throat as if she was getting ready to give a very important speech. "Ahem, Josh you're gonna help me start a club!" She declared loudly as lots of pairs of eyes turned to face us some confused other amused by the sudden announcement.

"What!" I shouted, then covered my hand with my mouth because I realised we were in the middle of the hallway. I almost fell off the wall I was leaning on. "But, what! Why!?" I half screamed.

I was surprised, to say the least, I mean what had happened to that sweet, shy always apologizing little girl? And why was she forcing me to make a club? The more I thought about it, since when did English schools even allow their student to create their own clubs? It sounded more like a Japanese anime than real life. Besides, I was pretty sure that had to be against some policy or something.

"Think about it; it would be a good way to make friends and boost your popularity in school. " She started counting on her finger all the reason why that was a supposed "good idea" Meanwhile; I was listing all the possible reasons it was a terrible idea!

"Wait you mean... Oh no, no no no." I replied.

"But why not?" She moaned, giving me the sad puppy face. "I'm just trying to help you regarding popularity. Do you actually like being alone?"

"There is like a million reasons why not!" I whisper-shouted back. "And for the record I'm completely fine, thank you!"

"O.K name one." She folded her arms.

"Where are you going to find five people, even if you count you and me that's still three other people you have to try and find to join a club which you don't even know what's its activities are yet." I didn't care if we were making a scene, I shouted nonetheless. I just didn't understand why she was fixated on making a club. I mean, it was a freaking club! Not a bloody invitation to meet the Queen!

"But there are tonnes of people in the school; I'm sure at least three of them will be interested. Also, stop saying you cause you're helping too you know." She said as if it was settled.

"Since when!?" I shouted getting more frustrated by the second.

"Since now," she replied calmly.

Lord Jesus give me strength. I face palmed running my hand through my hair. "I think I liked you better when you were apologizing all the time. And why can't you just do it yourself? Why am I involved!?" I cried.

"Because I want to, and you're my monitor," she replied. She was acting as if this was just a walk in the park. Did she even know that making a club involved a lot of effort? It takes time, planning, club discussions, schedules and so much more that I didn't have a chance to do. OK, maybe I did have time, but I had enough on my plate to deal with already.

"But that doesn't mean I have to do it with you!" I was about five seconds away from losing it and screaming in her face.

"Calm down; you're getting all worked up over nothing. You haven't even tried it yet." She said. "I have my reasons and besides haven't you ever wanted to start a club?" She asked.

"Um let me think about it, NO and just because you want to do it doesn't mean you have to drag me into it!"

"Yeah but this is for your own good, you can't just sit in the shadows your whole life, you have to like exist or something. And besides, I don't want to do this all on my own. I don't see anyone else you have to hang about with, and this would be a good way to finally get you some friends." She explained being a bit more firm in her decision.

"You're kidding," I said.

"Nope. Plus I've already made up my mind, and when I'm stuck on something I'll only bug you even more until you say yes so you might as well just give up. Oh and in case you hadn't noticed your not allowed to leave my side until I know this school inside out, so your stuck with it I'm afraid." She smiled all sweet and innocent, the cunning devil!

"But..." I said again really getting tired of going back and forth.

"Come on, please? Let's try at least the club thing, and if it doesn't work out then I won't mention it again, I swear." Victoria was making a sad puppy face at me again "For me, the naive little new student?" She continued, making her hand into a praying motion.

"Victoria..." but I was cut off.

"Pleeeeease?" She came even closer to me.

I sighed in frustration; she wasn't going to let up until I agreed. I didn't know what she was planning to get out of making a club or why she wanted me to help her, or why she was so fixated on it. It bugged the hell out of me, but I was tired of playing games, and I figured there was no harm in going along with her plan, so I sadly admitted defeat.

"Fine whatever, just stop acting like a little kid will you?" I said using my hand to push her face away.

"Yes!" She punched the air.

I sighed God; I must be the biggest chump ever I thought.

"I'm sorry Josh, but when this is all over you'll thank me I know it, and there's an excellent reason for all this," Victoria said.

"Oh really, cause I'd love to hear it," I said slightly irritated.

Victoria stood in front of me with her finger on her lips. "Its a secret," she whispered then laughed as she carried on walking.

I groaned "I need to learn how to say no to stuff." Man, I could total smack talk the three princes (fuckboys), but I couldn't say no to one measly girl, who had only been at the school for less than a week! I really was sad.

"Hey come on, trust me, have I ever let you down before?" She laughed going back to her shy cute self and happy that she had gotten her way in the end.

"Well. considering I've never even trusted you before today then n-"

"Exactly!" She said determinedly while cutting me off. I sighed at her and hung my head.

"Whatever, It'll work, you'll see," she said smiling.

At the time, I was pretty much convinced that the whole thing was a waste of time and was going to fail, so I figured there was no harm in humoring her a while.

"Sure it will, come on we have a class to get to you know," I grumbled

"But really, I know you won't regret this," she said.

"Yeah yeah..." I replied as we continued to walk down the corridor, wondering how I had been dragged into all that in less than five minutes.

.............Keep reading for the next chapter.

Chapter 5: Confusion.

A/N I'm not 100% happy with how this turned out and it's a key event in the book, but I tried. What do you think about the relationship between Josh and Vic? Why do you like/not like them?

Thanks to all who voted and commented on it, you don't understand how much this motivates me!

-Ollie Also know as O.L Starbirth