This isn't good. 

I wasn't expecting for that to happen, I wasn't prepared for it and now I don't know what to do.

Well, I guess this is partly my fault as well for getting so close to him but I never meant for it to end up like that. That day, after school, I remember the picture so clearly in my mind. The sun was just setting and enveloped the school in its orangey-yellow radiance. The powerful rush of wind, and him staring into the distance with that look in his eyes and that expression on his face that I still, after everything, can't identify.

Everything was meant to go smoothly, I was going to complete my assignment and ready myself for the memory removal process, but now things have changed. I don't feel the same anymore, and it's all because of him. 

If he hadn't done that then I wouldn't feel like this. It's all his fault. 

Now I just can't stop thinking about it and images of him won't leave my head. My chest, it feels so tight and it gets hard to breathe sometimes. What is this sudden feeling? I don't like it and now things I wouldn't ever dream of suddenly don't seem that bad. 

I don't have much time left, I need to wrap things up soon. I need to start the club and I need it to be officially up and running, then my work will be done. 

But. 

I don't want it to be done, he only just started to open up to me and we've been through a lot in the time we've spent together. What was that old saying? Time flies when you're having fun, it really does. To think it's already been 3 months, it feels like just yesterday I met him and he made a fool of himself in front of a teacher to get me out of trouble. I remember thinking, what a weird guy and laughing to myself.

I don't want to leave. I don't want to forget. I don't want him to forget.

What do I do? Someone, please tell me, I want to complete my mission but I don't want them to forget me or vice versa. Just up until a day ago, I wouldn't have minded if they had forgotten me, at least I would've done my job and he would have been happy. But now I'm not the same as I was, I'm selfish, and I want to be remembered though I know the consequences. The thought of being forgotten by people you care about, it hurts to more than I thought it would. Who knew it would take such a little thing to get me to realise that. 

A kiss. That one tiny thing changed everything for me, the way I feel in front of him, how I act, my thoughts, and I think I may know why. But if it's what I think it is then I'm screwed.

I can't and I won't succumb to this feeling if I do then everything's going to change. But yet I want to, I want to lose myself in this emotion, this painful yet lovely emotion that makes my chest feel tight and my heartbeat quicken. 

Someone please, save me, I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. 

Keep reading for the next chapter...

Chapter 18 - Uncertain Feelings