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Ratigan's Plan: Part 1

Several of Ratigan's thugs have tied Basil, Maria and Dawson to a mousetrap, and are now setting the trap.

Ratigan: You don't know what a delightful dilemma it was trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise.

Fidget nervously sets the switch and scampers away. Dawson flinches as the bone-breaking metal vibrates slightly. Basil was looking catatonic and was simply staring off into space.

Ratigan: (High voice) Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas I didn't know which to choose. (Normal) So, I decided...to use them all.

Ratigan gives a grand gesture to reveal a gun, a crossbow, an axe, and an anvil, all of which are aimed directly at the mousetrap.

Ratigan: Marvelous, isn't it? Oh ho... But here, let me show you how it works. Picture this.

Fidget curtsies to the record player as Ratigan explains his dastardly death trap.

Ratigan: First, a tune I've recorded especially for you. As the song plays the cord tightens, and when the song ends...

The cord was moving upward, tied to a cork which was supporting a wine glass with a metal ball inside.

Ratigan: ...the metal ball is released.

A slide constructed of wood and pipes was aimed directly at the mousetrap trigger release.

Ratigan: Rolling along its merry way until...

As Ratigan speaks, he gestures to each individual weapon, starting with the mousetrap.

Ratigan: Snap! Boom! Twang! Thunk!

Dramatic pause.

Ratigan: Splat!

Dawson and Maria winces.

Ratigan holds his hat in a form of salute.

Ratigan: (Cruelly) And so ends the short, undistinguished career of Basil of Baker Street.

Maria: You're...despicable!

Ratigan: (Snickering) Yes.

Fidget, now dressed in a British guard uniform, runs over to Ratigan.

Ratigan: Everything's ready, Fidget?

Fidget: All set, boss.

Ratigan peeks inside a large white box with a pink ribbon, and he chuckles wickedly.

Ratigan: Oh, this is wicked! So delightfully wicked.

Several thugs, dressed in British Guard uniforms as well, move the package as Ratigan walks over toHiram, who was bound by ropes, standing by Olivia's bottle, where we see that she's safe and sound...for now.

Ratigan: Mr. Flaversham, let me congratulate you on a superb piece of craftsmanship.

Ratigan knocks at the glass.

Ratigan: See what you can do with the proper motivation?

Ratigan cackles and pinches Hiram's cheek as more of his thugs, all dressed in the uniforms, climb onto Felicia's back.

Ratigan: You all know the plan.

Thugs: (Saluting) Right, Professor.

Felicia meows as she walks out.

Ratigan: It was my fond hope to stay and witness your final scene, but you were fifteen minutes late. And I do have an important engagement at...(Stresses) Buckingham Palace.

Dawson eyes him with confusion, not understanding Ratigan's plan.

Ratigan: Now, you will remember to smile for the camera, won't you?

A camera is indeed set up, ready to shoot.

Ratigan: Hmm? Say cheese!

Basil sighs.

Dawson: You fiend!

Ratigan comes to the record to start it and prepares to leave the room.

Ratigan: Sorry, chubby. You should have chosen your friends more carefully.

Record: (Ratigan singing) Goodbye so soon, and isn't this a crime We know by now that time knows how to fly

Fidget was operating a dirigible, and flies by Ratigan. The mysterious package was attached by a rope, a ladder was lowered, and Ratigan climbs on, waving.

Ratigan: Adieu, auf wiedersehen, arrivederci, farewell!

Record: So here's goodbye, so soon...

Ratigan: (Chuckles) Bye bye, Basil. (Looks at Maria) and goodbye to my dear, you shall see your baby soon enough.

Now in the dirigible, Ratigan steers it in and up through the furnace and into the night.

Record: We go our separate ways With time so short I'll say so long And go so soon Goodbye. You followed me, I followed you

Back inside, the record was slowly tightening the cable.

Record: We were like each other's Shadows for a while Now as you see This game is through So although it hurts I'll try to smile As I say...

The music continues to play as Olivia stares out of her glass prison at Basil, Maria, and Dawson, the latter of whom was obviously disbelieving.

Dawson: Wh-wh-what did he mean, an engagement in Buckingham Palace?

Basil sighs, then answers him, seemingly unconcerned.

Basil: Haven't you figured it out yet, Doctor? The Queen's in danger and the Empire's doomed.

Dawson: The Queen?!?

Maria looks at Basil sorrowfully

Maria: (Stares sadly at Basil) Basil....

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