She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee, her dress has got a tear

She waltzes on her way to mass and whistles on the stairs

And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair

I've even heard her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel but her penitence is real

She's always late for everything except for every meal

I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel

Maria's not an asset to the abbey

I'd like to say a word in her behalf then say it Sister Margaretta

Maria makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do you find the word that means Maria?

A flibbertigibbet, a willow the wisp, a clown

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say

How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused

And I never know exactly where I am

Unpredictable as weather, she's as flighty as a feather

She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb

She'll out pester any pest, drive a hornet from it's nest

She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl

She is gentle, she is wild, she's a riddle, she's a child

She's a headache, she's an angel, she's a girl

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do you find the word that means Maria?

A flibbertigibbet, a willow the wisp, a clown

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say?

How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand ?