A whole Louis chapter is ahead of us. He needs to clear his head and get some things off his chest. And you'll see two little scenes out of one of my already published books.

Is Harry the best thing Louis never had?

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Being inside these familiar safe walls of his family home gave Louis the feeling to be a child again. The feeling of being carefree and careless and simply free. The feeling of being light and untroubled and life being easy as long as he had his family around. That was what Louis needed more than everything right now.

The kiss; the gig; the break-up; Luke; Harry and that other guy; Uni and his nosy friends were all too much for Louis at once, so he spontaneously decided to visit his family for a day. Perks of attending Uni in your home-town. His mother hadn't asked any questions when he had shown up at the front door out of the blue. She had just let him in and went to work like every day, giving him the freedom and peace he needed so badly.

Right now, Louis was sitting on the couch in the living room and was reading, but not just any book. No, Louis was reading that stupid soulmate book Harry has been so obsessed with. The book that made him believe Josh was his soulmate just to find out he wasn't. The book that made Louis feel sick because the main characters reminded him of Harry and himself. Harley and Loucas had way too many similarities with them for it to be a coincidence but obviously, it was one. It wasn't like someone had written a book about them. No, Harry and Louis were not soulmates.

The book has almost reached its end. The chapter he was reading at the moment was called Sun And Moon and it was Harley's 18th birthday. That made Louis feel sick in less than a second. Of course, it had to be a birthday chapter. Wasn't it bad enough that the story takes place during their first year in Uni? No, a birthday had to be there and remind Louis of Harry's birthday. His 18th birthday, to be exact.

But as ironic as that was, the chapter was really cute and adorable. Right at the beginning the two boys were being all cute and Loucas couldn't stop calling Harley petnames, which ended in an adorable scene that made Louis smile.

"Stop. All those petnames make me blush" covered Harley his face with his hands.

"But they suit you and are an expression of my endearment with you" uncovered Loucas Harley's face and interlaced their fingers.

"You're endeared by me?" asked Harley surprised.

"By everything you do, Deer" confirmed Loucas fondly.

"Why a deer though?" Harley wanted to know cutely.

"Because you remind me of a new-born baby deer with those tall and lanky legs. They're as clumsy as you. Only difference is they grow out of it,you don't" explained Loucas to him softly.

"So, I'm a baby in your eyes?" hooked Harley with a pout on his lips.

"No, you're my Baby. That's an important difference. You are an independent strong individual and I was lucky enough that you fell for me out of all people. I'm gonna cherish you every second of the day, Baby" clarified Loucas endeared.

"When you say such things I never know how to respond and show you that I will do the same for you, to you" remarked Harley helplessly.

"You don't have to say anything. Words mean nothing compared to this" pointed Loucas at Harley's heart.

"And this is yours" smiled Harley down at him.

"And you have mine" caressed Loucas Harley's cheek softly.

If anyone would ever ask him about this he would never admit that the story affected him this much but he couldn't help himself. Olivia Stewart managed to write something breath-takingly wonderful and Louis was amazed. When Loucas sang his heart out to Harley at his party, Louis felt his eyes tearing up and when they went back home to Harley and Loucas handed Harley his birthday present, Louis knew this was it and he couldn't wait.

In anticipation and very careful, Harley opened the box and glanced inside. His whole face turned into pure shock but then morphed into admiration and it lit up completely. Gently, Harley took the item out of the box and traced his fingers over it. It was a silver necklace with an anchor and rope pendant. The rope was wrapped around the anchor safely. It was a symbol for the two of them and their love. This was their mark.

"Lou, it's beautiful" were Harley's eyes sparkling like a thousand of stars.

"Like you, Love. Put it on" smiled Loucas up at him in pure awe.

Immediately, Harley put the necklace on and Loucas stared at the silver item now hanging around Harley's neck, touching his chest.

"It looks good on you. Perfect" complimented Loucas him.

"Thank you so much, Love. This means so much to me. You always make me feel so special. Why are you so perfect and treat me like the most precious treasure?" thanked Harley him, not really wanting answers to his questions. But for Loucas this was the perfect moment.

"Because I love you and you deserve to be treated like a princess every day" confessed Loucas to him with one hand caressing Harley's cheek tenderly, the other placed firmly on his waist.

At Loucas' words Harley's eyes filled with tears. "I love you too. So much, Lou".

Damn it, now Louis was getting emotional and felt the tears coming. Happy tears. This was something Louis had wanted since he was a child but until now, he never had it. Maybe he was close to it. Maybe not. Who knew if he could love Luke anytime soon and their 'I love you' moment wouldn't end in total flames ...

Way too soon, the book was done and Louis closed it with a heavy sigh. Loucas and Harley had gotten their perfect happy ending with being true soulmates and marrying the love of their life. Louis' story wasn't going as smoothly although he was trying everything in his power. Thinking about the book brought Louis back to Harry and Josh and them thinking they'd be Harley and Loucas. Quickly, he reopened the book and searched for the moment the two boys met for the first time.

"Ouch" hissed Loucas at the pain in his bum and his head and pressed his palm against the hurting spot.

"Sorry. Oh God, I'm so sorry. The door jammed or I was too stupid to open it correctly. Gosh, are you hurt?" apologised that stranger in a low and raspy voice.

Wanting to snap at him for hitting a door in his face, Loucas looked up at his now roommate, but he stopped himself from saying anything as soon as he looked into those forest green eyes and felt that stupid familiar tingling on his left wrist. Inwardly, he cursed to himself and then stood up to face this curly-headed boy, that looked like he had just murdered someone.

"Well, my head throbs like crazy now but apart from that I'm breathing" replied Loucas cheekily, glancing down at his wrist.

And that was a moment Harry and Josh had had and made them believe this would be it? Well, it sounded like Harry to slam a door in someone's face or bump into a stranger and ramble weird stuff. That's definitely something Harry would do. Louis was wondering if Harry had also bumped into Jordan, that black-haired guy from the bar. Did he have another soulmate moment with a handsome guy?

Thinking about Jordan put Louis in a bad mood, so he tried to distract himself but the universe had other plans. Harry sent him a message directly in that moment and Louis only rolled his eyes at the attached picture. It was a picture of Harry, Jordan, Sean and Bailey. They were strolling through the city and made weird faces into the camera. A picture-perfect double date. At least, Sean was with Bailey and could maybe finally grow some balls and admit his feelings before it was too late and a tall and handsome black-haired guy would steal her away from him. That was actually possible.

From Haz:

"Sean is making a fool of himself but Bay doesn't seem to care. They are so cute and get along with Jordan. That's something, right? How's your mum doing? Are you back tonight? We wanted to go clubbing all together and Jordan would come along. I need your advice. Don't want the Josh thing to repeat itself".

To Haz:

"I won't be making it tonight but you don't need me there. You got this, like always. Just do what you always do and Jordan won't be able to resist you and you can have a fun night. No advice needed. You know how to get every boy and make them go crazy, Haz".

Louis cringed at his own words but decided to just leave it like this. Maybe he sounded a little bit salty or bitter but he didn't care. That Harry was already moving on from Josh like nothing ever happened between them shocked Louis a lot. He made moving on look so easy but Louis knew that wasn't always the case. He was the prime example.

(Remember, in my book Louis has two pair of twin sisters)

An hour later, his youngest twin sisters came back from school and immediately attackedhim. His mum came home only twenty minutes after them and started to prepare some lunch. When his older younger twin sisters arrived back home, they all sat down on the couch and spent some quality time together until lunch was ready. During the meal, his sisters told him and Johanna about their days and Louis just listened to them with a huge smile on his face. He had missed this a lot. Just the normal hectic everyday life.

"They missed you a lot" let Johanna him know when they took care of the dishes while the girls started their homework.

"I missed them, too. It's too silent in my flat. No one complains all the time" chuckled Louis happily.

"But that also means you have no fights and that's good, right?" looked Johanna differently at this fact.

"Huh, never thought about it like this. You're right. No fights, just talks and movie nights and studying and k ..." stopped Louis himself from exposing his ass. "Yeah, Luke is over a lot and cooks for us. He is an amazing cook and saves me from starving and bugging Zayn and Liam on a daily basis".

"That's good. He really cares about you and I'm happy about this. He does you good and only deserves the best" smiled Johanna satisfied.

"Yeah, the best of the best" sighed Louis out and walked out of the kitchen.

"Honey, what's wrong? You don't sound very happy" followed Johanna her son.

"I am happy. It's just ... Luke is really amazing and only deserves the best but I'm not sure that's me" admitted Louis honestly as he sat down on the couch.

"What do you mean? Of course, you're the best" frowned Johanna deeply at his words.

"Even if I want nothing more than Harry to kiss me again? Yes, he kissed me. After he broke up with Josh and we were all alone. It meant nothing to him, he said that, but I have to admit it meant something to me. I can't keep on lying to myself. That kiss triggered old feelings and made it even harder to move on because I got another taste of what I can never have. I shouldn't want him anymore because Luke is great and I assured him I don't want Harry anymore but that's a lie. The biggest lie of my entire life. A part of me still wants him and I really want that part to just shut up and let me love Luke because that's what he deserves" poured Louis his heart out to his mother without thinking about his words for one second. He was for once just letting it all out unfiltered.

"I didn't know you were still feeling like this, Darling. I also didn't know Harry and Josh broke up. Do you know the reason?" bypassed Johanna Louis' confession about still wanting Harry and Louis wondered why.

"He said he felt like he wasn't as much into it as Josh and yeah ... something like this. Sounds like he was bored to me but what do I know? I'm with Luke although it seems like I'm unable to let Harry go while he is out with another boy already, doing god knows what. I need to get a grip on my feelings once and for all" got Louis lost in his thoughts.

"Another guy?" knitted Johanna her eyebrows together in confusion.

"Jordan. He met him at our first gig. Don't know how and I don't wanna know. They're in town with friends and I'm not surprised. They flirted the whole night without a care in the world and now Harry even asked me for advice to get Jordan. Enough proof for me that my decision was right and Harry is out of reach" informed Louis her neutrally.

"What decision?" checked Johanna curiously.

"I decided to give Harry up and finally move on. I can't mop around because of him forever. Whatever there was it's gone. There probably never was anything anyway. It's so obvious he never wanted me. Jake, Josh and now Jordan. Damn, he has a thing for that letter, I guess. Choosing Luke was the right thing to do. He is good for me and really wants me and only me and I want him, too" let Louis her know and didn't care anymore.

"But is that enough, Sweetheart?" hooked Johanna in a gentle voice. "Is choosing him because Harry is unavailable a good enough reason? Is wanting to be with Luke enough?".

"I don't know, okay? Luke knows about Harry. I told him everything and I made clear that I really wanna be with Luke and only Luke. Isn't it enough that I know I made the best choice and just wait until my heart is free? Am I supposed to watch Harry the next years with various guys and just be single because I can't seem to forget about him? I can't get over him by simply doing nothing. Being with Luke feels good and he is perfect. Time will make me love him. One day" defended Louishimself almost snappy.

"Is learning to love someone something you want? For you and for Luke? What if you can't? What if one day is years away? What if you won't be able to ever love someone as much as you love Harry?" asked Johanna some questions and Louis wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"What do you want me to do? Suffer for the rest of my life? You're my mother. You should tell me to finally get over Harry and be happy. Instead you're questioning my will to give someone else a chance. How does that make sense?" got Louis even more defensive now.

"Of course, I want you to be happy but I don't think forcing yourself to love Luke in the future will make anyone of you happy. It looks like destiny has another plan. Maybe to fully move on you need to draw a line and get some closure" advised Johanna him mysteriously.

"What are you on about? Should I push Harry out of my life or what?" cocked Louis an eyebrow at her suspiciously.

"No, but you need to let all of this out. Hear me out first, Darling. You have bottled up so much inside your heart that you're gonna exploded any second. You need to tell Harry how it is, no matter what the outcome might be. I know he is seeing this Jordan guy but you should still tell him. Be honest and stand up for you feelings. This is not about rejection or reciprocated feelings. It's about honesty and your mental health, Buttercup. Harry won't laugh at you for telling him how it is and maybe you need some more space from time to time" explained Johanna more detailed what she meant.

"You want me to tell Harry I'm not over him yet and feel weird when I see him with someone else but I wanna move on and be with Luke, it's just not working yet?" checked Louis disbelievingly.

"Maybe not with those words but yeah. I think the both of you need that honesty. Maybe he has to tell you something as well" nodded Johanna in confirmation.

"Yeah, that he could never want me in that way and prefers literally everyone else on this planet. I mean, what kind of type does he have? Jake, Josh and Jordan have nothing in common apart from their first letter. Does he want the ship-name Jayden this much?" mused Louis out loud.

"Maybe, Darling. Maybe".

And this was the end of this conversation. His mother left him sitting there all alone and Louis tried to wrap his head around her words. She really wanted him to tell Harry everything. Some of her points were valid, so maybe he should do what she suggested. Maybe this could help him to move on for good. Maybe this could help to finally make his heart see that Harry wasn't an option.

His ringing phone tore him out of his thoughts. Immediately, he recognised the ringtone and quickly took his phone out. Suddenly nervous, he answered the call. "Hi, Luke".

"Hi, Louis. How's it going? Found the time to relax?" sounded Luke's voice over the phone.

"I did. I had the whole morning to myself. Just pure silence. It was liberating. When my sisters came home from school though the whole house was full of noise but I loved it. I really missed them" told Louis him happily.

"Understandable. You had them around you 24/7 at home and now you live alone. It must be weird to have this much privacy" chuckled Luke lightly.

"Don't think I have privacy with you and the boys always being around" replied Louis sassily.

"Just say that you don't want us in your life, Louis. We can take it" shot Luke back dramatically.

"Why is everyone this dramatic? This is my job. I'm the drama student" huffed Louis cutely.

"We all learned from you, Babe" could Louis literally hear the big grin on Luke's face. "But what I wanted to ask was if you come back tonight?".

"No, probably not. Or well, pretty late. I wanna enjoy the evening with my sisters. Why? You miss me?" asked Louis while biting down on his bottom lip.

"Always. That's my job, but um ... can we see each other tomorrow after class? I really wanna talk to you but in person" sounded Luke nervous and a bit unsure and the tone in his voice made Louis' stomach tighten in a very bad way.

"Yeah, sure. Is it something serious?" wanted Louis to know anxiously.

"Kind of, but don't worry. Everything will be good. We're okay" reassured Luke him softly. "I'm gonna leave you alone now. Enjoy your time with your family, Louis. See you tomorrow".

"Yeah, enjoy your night. Bye, Luke" ended Louis the call, feeling uneasy now. The last time someone told him they were good they weren't. What could Luke possibly want to talk about?

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Is Jay right? Should Louis tell Harry everything although he is seeing someone else and risk everything? What does Luke want to talk about? And soulmates?