Other than the first day of texting to check in, Jackson had been radio silent. I didn't want to text him and interrupt his work if he was busy. I definitely didn't want to call him out of the blue.

No matter how much it was killing me not to hear his voice.

Maybe he was having second thoughts? Maybe he wished that his mate had been less complicated. Maybe he doesn't think that I'm right for his pack. Maybe he hates me, now that he has thought it through.

I couldn't bear running through all of these thoughts. So, instead I immersed myself in pack activities. During the day I would help babysit the pack pups. They were just like any other normal human baby, toddler and child. They didn't start to develop their wolf traits until after puberty.

The first change wouldn't hit them until they were about fifteen or sixteen.

I loved being with the children and the pack ran its own daycare-like system during the day when the others were out in the world working.

When the children were all picked up by their parents, I would volunteer for anything any of the pack members needed help with – whether it be renovations on their house, running an errand or babysitting their children. I immersed myself completely, trying to keep my mind from wandering to my mate. But regardless, my cell phone remained tucked securely in my pocket everyday as a constant reminder; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my mind off of Jackson every second of everyday.

And that is why I decided to write it all down in my journal. I tucked the journal away at night under a loose floorboard hidden under the foot of my bed. Even still, I did not ever mention his name in case the journal was ever recovered by someone. I needed to get everything off of my chest, to feel like someone was listening to me. I kept track of the questions that I wanted to ask Jackson. What was his favourite colour? What did he do in his spare time? I wanted to know everything and anything there was to know about him.

But I wasn't going to break the telephone silence.

Two weeks later and I had still to receive a call or even a text from Jackson. It made my wonder if maybe he had decided that not being in contact was better for everyone. Which hurt – a lot.

I was at a pack member's house, Lynda, helping her cook and watch her four children. Lynda was having the parents of her mate over later that night for dinner and was trying to cook something special. This had proven to be a difficult task, having four little ones under foot. So, she called me and asked for some help. I was more than happy to speed over and do something with my hands. It certainly beat sulking in my room.

Once I had the little ones settled and a movie playing to distract them for a few minutes (hopefully), I went to help Lynda with my cooking.

"What's wrong, Rosemarie?" She asked as I sat down to start chopping some carrots.

"What do you mean?"

Lynda thought for a moment before sitting down at the table with me.

"You just seem like you have a lot on your mind recently. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Lynda seemed to be the only one who had noticed. My father couldn't be happier that I have decided to take a more active role in the pack. In fact, he has suggested (on more than one occasion) that I get Brendan to come with me on some of my excursions. My father just doesn't understand why I have no interest in Brendan whatsoever.

I sighed a little and sat down the knife in my hand, carefully formatted the question I had in my mind.

"How did you and George meet?" I asked finally.

Lynda smiled brilliantly. It was clear that she was remembering when she and her mate had met for the first time and she was remembering it fondly.

"Well, George and I met in a park," she said. "I wasn't a member of this pack at the time, but I was in the city for a week or two. We were both runners and it was very early in the morning. There was a full moon that night, so I guess we both had the same idea to take a morning run to blow off some excess energy."

I nodded. The day of the full moon the whole pack, even the pups, seemed energized. We were given an absorbent amount of energy, which I always assumed was because the change took so much energy and then we would be running as a pack nearly the entire night. It always seemed to give all of us a weird case of attention deficit for the day and almost nothing got done.

"I wasn't paying attention, big surprise there." Lynda laughed. "And I actually managed to run right into him and knocked us both flat on our backsides."

"How did you know he was the one?" I asked eagerly. Maybe everyone experienced the mating pull differently?

"It felt... it felt like my whole sense of gravity had changed," she explained. "Like everything in the world suddenly pulled me to George – like he was the Sun. That was just from a touch, before he marked me later that day."

"Later that day?" I asked, shocked.

It's not unheard of to mark immediately, but most couples now wait a few days to get used to each other and talk a little before they mark and especially before they mate.

"It had to be that day; we really had no other option. There was a full moon that night."

"I don't understand what the full moon had to do with it though."

Lynda looked at me a bit startled. She opened her mouth once before shutting it again.

"Do you mean no one has explained the mating ritual to you?"

I furrowed my brows. This was a bit like the "sex talk" that I supposed normal parents had with their human children.

"Well, I know that when you meet your mate there is an irresistible force that pulls you together. Then, in order to finish the mating process you have to bite each other and - and you know..."

She laughed a little at the last part before turning serious again.

"That is true, Rosemarie. But what you failed to mention is this: once two mates find each other they have to mark one another before the next full moon. Then they have to mate before the full moon following that to complete the ritual."

My eyes widened. How had anyone failed to mention this to me in my twenty-one years of life?

"What if they don't? I mean, what if the two mates fail to mark each other before the first full moon after they meet?" I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.

"I haven't seen it for myself, because the draw for the mates is so strong they usually don't wait long. In fact, I don't ever want to see it for myself. All I know about it is what I have heard."

"What have you heard?" I asked, terrified.

"Well, I have heard that that one or both of the mates die. Usually the female comes down with a fever as the day of the full moon approaches. By the time the sun rises the next day she is suffering from delusions. The female either goes crazy or dies. Sometimes she does both. Then the male usually follows his mate into death. Not many can stand the death of their mate."

I closed my eyes weakly and counted the days to the next full moon. Seven days. I had one week to come down with a fever before slipping into and suffering from delusions. Did Jackson know about what could happen if we don't mate? He must have. He did say he was the Alpha – someone had to have told him about it at some point. Did he not care if I died? What about himself at least?

"Don't worry about it Rosemarie," Lynda patted my arm. "You do have a mate out there somewhere. And, when you find him he will be totally unable to resist your personality and charm. You don't have to worry about the full moon thing."

I nodded weakly, wishing that was the case. Then, the DVD in the living room froze, enticing a screaming match from Lynda's children. I smiled at Lynda as I got up to go and fix it, absentmindedly touching my cell phone in my pocket on the way.

------------------------------------

By the time I left Lynda's it was pretty late. The darkness didn't scare me. I was a she-wolf and daughter of the alpha. There was nothing to fear in the dark of my pack's community.

I still hadn't decided what to do about Jackson. I was certain I didn't want to die, that was for sure. I did want to be with Jackson, I knew that as well. But I didn't know what Jackson wanted.

I didn't know what to do about the packs either. I was sure that they would be furious. The Cardaver pack because they would be losing their Alpha's daughter and the Merphate pack because they would be forced to take me on.

There was no place in the world that I would belong, it seemed. At least right here, right now, I could still pretend that my heart lies within the Cardaver pack. Would it be better to die with them?

I took out my cell phone and scrolled down my contacts, stopping at "Romeo". I stared at it for a few minutes wondering, again, if Jackson knew the fate that would befall us (or rather, me) in a mere week's time.

I heard footsteps behind me and hastily shoved my cell phone back into my pocket and whipped around. Brendan was jogging towards me in a pair of sweats and t-shirt.

"What are you doing out so late, Rosemarie?" He asked, jogging up beside me.

"I could ask you the same question," I reasoned. "I was helping Lynda with the pups."

"I just saw you walking by and figured you might want some company on the walk home," he smiled at me good naturedly.

In all honesty, the last thing on the planet that I wanted was someone to keep me company on the walk home. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and figure out how I was going to make it through the next full moon. But instead I thanked him and invited him along. I did quicken my pace from my meander to more of a speed walk though. He easily kept up with me.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"Busy." I replied in a joking manner.

"I have seen that. Do you ever have a spare minute in a day anymore?"

Not if I can help it, I thought.

"I am trying to take a more active role in the pack." I used the same line I used on everyone else who decided to ask me about it.

"So I've heard," said Brendan, staring directly at my face. I didn't slow my pace. "Are you sure there isn't anything you want to talk to me about? I'm your friend."

I paused and looked over at him. His earnest eyes were looking into mine and I couldn't help wishing for a moment that Brendan had been my mate. How easy that would have been for everyone? He was in my own pack, my father loved him and my mother doted on him.

But then I thought of Jackson and my heart ached and pulled like I was getting open heart surgery. Even from this distance I could feel the pull of Jackson and had to fight everyday for the past two weeks not to race toward it.

I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath.

"I think I might just be a little stressed from all the extra work that I have taken on," I lied.

"Well, maybe you should start taking it easy a bit. No one expects you to be superwoman, Rosemarie."

I nodded and we continued on our way back to my house in a comfortable silence. I thanked him for walking me home before entering the house and heading back up to my room, locking the door behind me. This was a habit I had only recently picked up after the incident after my birthday party.

I changed into my pyjamas and sat on my bed, my cell phone in hand. I opened my contacts list once more and scrolled down to the name I had been scrolling down to for the past two weeks. This time I pressed it.

We need to talk.

I pressed the send button.

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