Amal's pov

i woke up to see the bed empty i looked around to see if he was there
my whole body ached i looked at the time it was 12:00 clock may be he left

i laid back again
it pained a lot he always slapped me or pulled my hair, but... yesterday i have no words how much each belt hurted.
every other belt hurted more than the last one
remembering it i started crying
i decided to get a hot shower may be it will help to ease the pain i struggled to get up having the support of the wall

walking in i looked at my reflection
messy hairs..dark circle..finger marks on cheek..blood stain on lip...belt marks on chest stomach and rest of the body i looked myself in the eyes and broke down starting the shower i just sat on the floor crying and letting the water pour on me,
everything flashing in my mind like a broken record
pulling my hair i yelled, sobbed and started throwing stuff

"wwhhyyyyyyy???!!!" i yelled...sobbing loudly letting everything that i bottled inside me explode

"aaaaaagghhhh!!!!....allllaahhh why allah why!!" i started sobbing

i cried and yelled till i had no more energy to yell and no more tears to shed

wearing my bathrobe i stepped out of the bathroom i dried my hair while tears just flowed one after another from my eyes.
crying felt normal thing to me now,
i cried so much in past 2 weeks that it feels normal, the flowing tears on my cheeks didnt felt odd on my skin now like they normally do to human beings

i wore my clothes and walked downstairs
walking towards the kitchen i said to the maid
"vacuum my bedroom and do the dusting"
i looked at fatema bee and she looked at me with concerned eyes.
i know that they heard my yelling i could see it with their expression but i dont care at this point

i smiled at her pretending to be normal
i walked to the laundry room and started doing the laundry since this freak of a man wants me to do house chores that are related to him
i put the dirty clothes in the washer and took the washed clothes to the iron table to press them as i was ironing this stupid mans stupid shirt i saw fatema bee looking at me with sympathy
i sighed
i dont want any sympathy

i looked at her and asked
"do u need something fatema bee?"

"no i just..."

"do you want to ask why i was yelling?" i said it before she could ask it

she nodded in a no

"i wanted to ask if you are okay... i saw the bruises when you were sleeping upstairs, i came to wake you up for breakfast after arham left but looking at your state i didn't"
she said looking at me with sad eyes

"please dont look at me like that i dont want anyones sympathy"

"i cant help you amal.....but i can be there for you just like your mother"
i looked down my tears falling on the shirt
she came and hugged me

and i let myself burst out in sobs
it felt so good to share this with someone and i just sobbed in her arms after i calmed down a bit i told her thr whole story

"oh dear....looking at you no one can guess even one bit that you are going through this much, you are a strong girl amal i meet you daily from past two weeks but you were always so happy no one could have understand that it was a lie"

"i dont know what to do i dont see a way out fatema bee" i said to her in a breaking voice like a little child who just got injured

"i cant give you a solution but i can be here with you supporting you consoling you"

i hugged her "thank you so much fatema bee i was on the verge of insanity i was so lonely in all this chaos it feels good to atleast be able to share it with someone"

she kissed my fore head

"come on now lets eat i cooked your favourite pasta"

i nodded
"umm...i didnt prepare dinner he will get angry"

"don't worry you need to rest he wont say anything i will tell him you were sick"
i nodded

few hours later....

arham came home and sat beside me on the sofa
"my love" he said kissing me
i started shivering after yesterday i dont know what it was but i am scared of him so much that even looking at him makes me shiver.

i got up he held my wrist
"where are you going?...sit"

"the food" i said pointing towards dining table

"oh i will eat later i missed you sit here"
i sat down as soon as i rested my back on the sofa i hissed

"does it still aches"

"a little" i said in a barely audible voice

i sat there in his arms uncomfortably looking down

"then why do you do such things....its your fault you shouldnt have stepped out"

i sighed...i know its my fault its always my fault but it doesnt justifies your action it doesnt makes it right to beat me into a pulp you psycho

"okay....I'll freshen up you serve the dinner"

huff thank god he left i hate it when he acts like a lovey dovey husband who cares a lot
because CLEARLY....he doesnt!!

as we were eating i decided to ask him about the college and admission
"umm...its been ten days since we came here...." he interrupted before i could complete

"oh yeah..yeah i will take you out this weekend"

"no no i wasnt talking about going out"

"then?"

"i was asking about when will you start my admission process"

he stopped eating and his body language changed he became stiff all of a sudden

"why do you want to study?"

and i instantly got defensive i know where this is going i just freaking know it
i looked at him trying to come up with a answer
"when will you take me to the college?"
i asked unable to answer his question

"well....you see i earn well and its not like i will allow you to do any sort of job so...its waste of time and money both"

and i forgot the fear that i had instantly, no one messes up my dream.... no one

"its not about job arham i worked so hard to earn this degree..
I KNOW!!..,I REMEMBER!!, you practically BOUGHT me, you OWN me but this isn't just right you are killing me bit by bit its wrong i have my right to education"

i ended saying everything in one breath

"you are not studying....end of discussion" he got up

"you dont understand!!!" i said exasperated

"its not fair" i added walking behind him

turning around he glared at me
"lower your voice...and i said you twice that I'll not allow you to study now shut up because i am trying to let you get healed and you are making it impossible"

he was just an inch apart now

"please....dont snatch my dream from me"
i whispered pleadingly since i was so scared by the way he was glaring me i couldnt get my voice out but i had to make him agree

he kissed me roughly and my lips started bleeding i pushed him back
"aahhhh!!"
i kept my hand at the bleeding spot hissing i took a tissue and dabbed it i looked at him with angry eyes

"now come on dont spoil my mood,
dont talk about studying again...understood?"

i looked at him teary eyed
how could he do this....

he started kissing me again
between kisses he kept saying i love you

he took to me to the sofa laid there, he made me sit on him and again started kissing me.....then he came above me and started kissing my neck he again kept repeating i love you, i love you

i felt like getting up and punching him
this is not love...THIS IS NOT LOVEEE!!!!!

after few hours..

i got up from the sofa and wore my clothes
i looked at him he laid there on the sofa resting his head on the armrest his hand under his head he looked at me with unreadable expression

"wear you clothes arham... this is living room"
i got up and walked to the kitchen to do the dishes

when i walked to the bedroom he was sitting in the balcony working on his laptop

i decided to talk to him again

i went and sat beside him
"arham..."
"hmmm???" he hummed
"i...you...about..."
"what amal?" he asked irritated
great he is already irritated

" nothing i was saying....do you want tea?"

"no.....but i want you"

"huh?" i looked at him questioningly before i could ask him anything else

he picked me up and placed on his lap

i try to get up
"what are you doing?"

he nuzzled my neck
"arham......we just did it half hour ago..."

"i know"

i decided to use this opportunity to talk to him
"arham..."

"hmmmm" he said without moving his face from my neck

"please let me study"

he stopped and looked up to me
"what did i say few hours ago?"

i just looked at him with hope
his grip on my waist tightened and i hissed in pain because yesterdays bruises hurted because of his grip
i tried to remove his hand

"didnt i said you that there will be no discussion on this" he said in a low voice gritting his teeth

"izzat raaz nahi aa rahi hai?"

i just looked down

"aakhri baar pyar se samjha raha hu amal... is baat ko yahi khatam kardo ek aur baar aakar ye baat ki na mujhse bura koi nahi hoga"

i mentally rolled my eyes.
we all know my answer to this
tumse bura koi hai bhi nahi

"samajh aayi?".
i nodded
"good"

i got up and went inside the washroom
i sat down resting my back on the door
all the memories of college life, my projects, the happiness i felt when i designed, everything was flashing in my mind and i let the tears slip from my eyes

i miss samad i know i am a married woman and i shouldnt think about anyone else but my fate is so rotten that i realised i love him after arham forced himself in my life, i realised i love him a day before my engagement
i remember how he helped me with my designs,
how he gave me honest opinions,
how he took me to this lavish places for case studies,
he was so supportive i miss him.

                           .................