Amal's pov

its been a month and arham is not back at home since he said he is going because a so called consignment of weapons is coming

one month ago

i was waken up from my sleep
"please ma'am its time for your medicines you can sleep back after taking this"

groaning i opened my eyes
"stop calling me ma'am rose"

"okay... amal... please take this medicines i am trying to wake you up since ten minutes" she said irritated

i sat up and took the medicines gulping them i looked around

"arham left?"

"no he didnt came at all" rose replied

"thats good otherwise i would have gotten bored since he didnt allow me to talk to anybody"

rose nodded smiling
as i was talking to rose fatema bee walked inside
"arham is on the call"

"call??" i asked surprised

why did he call?
is he not coming home?
the thought made my heart flutter

i took the phone and brought it closer to my ear excitedly

"hello??"

"amal?...listen carefully, there is a war between my gang and italian mafia i will not be back for many days"

i stayed silent not able to digest the fact that he just casually informed me that he is going to a war

"dont you dare pull any stunt,
dont think that you can do whatever you want since i am not there,
i have my eye on your every movement"

i stayed silent
"ANSWER FOR GODS SAKE YOU STUPID WOMAN!!"

i jumped from my seat
"yes...yes" i answered breathlessly

Present day

i sat there looking outside the window,
rose also left because i am healed, there is nothing she could do now.
she became my good freind since arham was not here i talked to her freely without any fear.

i talked to my parents 10 days ago with a phone that arham sent me but it stays with eric it is only given to me when arham wants, he calls at any hour and orders me to talk,
i dont have much to talk with him,
i start of with have you eaten,
what you ate etc, etc.
when i run out of such topics i stay silent, then he starts yelling and threatening then i start blabbering nonsesnse.

20 days ago....

a knock rapped on my bedroom door
i got out of the bed and opened the door
to see the lady guard standing with phone

"what!!" i snapped at her
"eric told us to give this to you mr arham will call you"

sighing heavily i took the phone and shut the door loudly at her face

i hate them i just hate them i am stuck here because of them i would have run away before arham confessed me that he is mafia but i couldnt because of this guards

i sat on the bed and looked at the time it was 3 o clock
great....just great!! i am sleepy because of the medicines

i took out a sweatshirt from the cupboard and walked to the balcony.
it was chilly outside but in a pleasant way, who knows when i will step out of this house and enjoy new york.

i sat on the chair hugging my knees looking at the stars and my phone started ringing
i picked up
"hello?"

"ahh my kitten i missed your voice"
i rolled my eyes at the pet name

"as salam alaikum" i said

"wa alaikum as salam...how are you?"

"i am fine alhamdulillah....why did you call is everything okay?"

"what do you mean why you called?" he snapped

"n..no...i meant its late here so i asked?"

"talk" he said in a stern voice

"what?"i asked confused

"talk i said like other wives do to their husband"

i exhaled frustratedly running a hand through my hair
we are not normal couple what does he expect from me
i felt my chest tightening with annoyance
i talked about everything that i could i asked him twice if i should hang up since i am sleepy but he didnt let me so i kept talking to him sleepily till he decided to hang up

present day

i rubbed my chest hoping that the strange suffocating tightness will go away but it didnt i got up and walked downstairs

sitting on the couch i looked around
i am all alone fatema bee left after her shift, rose left,
i am all alone,
i cant call, i cant do anything.

i sat there holding my head in my hands
breathing heavily i felt frustration gripping my throat making it harder for me to breathe.
i let myself fall on the sofa hugging my self i brought my knees closer to my chest i laid there and fell asleep.

when i woke up it was already dark outside i looked at the clock it was 12:30

i heated some food and sat on the couch watching tv
a strange anxiety surrounding me

i couldnt finish my food,

i stood there in the middle of the living room my hands hanging by my side lifelessy
i feel lonely, sad, upset any word i can come up wih i felt it all.

i turned around and looked at the female bodyguards and i got more frustrated

"STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND IN THE DAMN HOUSE I AM NOT RUNNING ANYWHERE!!!!" i yelled gripping my hair so tightly that it pained

i looked at them and they stared at me with no emotion.

"aghhhhh" i yelled throwing the vase near me on the wall

"I.AM.DONE!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE"

i turned around and ran into my room
i closed the door and sat on the floor sobbing loudly.

i walked to the dressing table and sat on the stool
"i cant do this anymore" i said looking at myself my chin quivering

"i cant" i said breaking down

i rested my head on the dressing table
"i feel lonely....i am sick of being scared and helpless all the time"

"i am sick of being treated like this"

"i lost everything,
my dream,
my dignity,
my pride,
my freedom....everything"

"i am sick of the fact that he does whatever he wants and there is no one who can stop him"

i looked up at the ceiling
"why do you do this allah miya"

"WHY!!!!!" i yelled loudly
"why do you ignore my pleas" i sobbed loudly
"why am i stuck here with this monster"

i am tired of all this
i walked to the bed and snuggled into the blanket
i let the tears fall from my eyes effortlessly

there were days i was strong,
i was independent,
i had dreams,
i had my voice,
my opinions

what am i now?
a toy?
a trophy?

after few minutes my temple started throbbing i ignored it the pain increased and i sat up straight clutching my head massaging my temple
i felt my chest tightening and my lungs burning i clutched my t shirt around my chest
and gasped loudly
i stood up and limped to the door
as soon as i opened the door i fell down
and everything went black.

this chapter is to fill in about how all of this is affecting amal mentally
and how she feels midst all of this
she is not just being abused physically but mentally too