Why is it so hard for me to understand that some people do care....that some people do love me?? Its because they have all lied to me so many times that I can't understand nor believe anyone....

What I don't understand is why people always think that I'll be there just to save them from depression if they have lied and broken me many times. Like so many people on here that I have helped haven't even tried to save me from my depression which just made my life even worse. Why does no one see  how much pain and suffering I'm going through....like yes I might be 12 and yes people say that I'm only 12 and that they have had worse things happen to them. For most people I do believe them for some I don't. I just hate how people try to help me when they even know that I mostly avoid getting help.

Everyone that knows me knows tahtbtrying to get into my life is hard....because I usually hide and push people away from me and my life. I have only told a handful of people about my life..... It sucks ass because all I do is sit here on wattpad hoping so much that someone would text me and ask for help with a problem because I'm on 24/7 because most my friends are on here....and also because it let's me escape my life....

Almost everyone knows that I'm living in hell.... Or a hell hole yet they still the to save me....they know that I want to be saved but after a while of them trying....they finally give up and leave me like everyone does......everyone knows how bad and shitty my life is....a few people know my whole past...some barely know the top of it....most of them don't........ I'm sorry that I'm like this.....

Most the time all of you think I'm happy when I text you but really....I'm crying and hoping really hard that I don't go and get the knife...or the pills.... Because I want to commit suicide really badly....a lot of people know that....

I just live how within the first few months of me being here I was a nice happy ish child....Now....I've only had this app for 2 years....and I'm depressed..... And helping others on here so they don't commit suicide

IF YOU EVER NEED ME IM ALWAYS ON EVEN IF YOU DONT THINK I AM

Anyway....have an amazing day....or night

Temmie out~