I haven't really liked to talk about suicide because my past but.... I really have to talk about it and hope it makes me feel better to talk about this toutchy subject.

Suicide is one of the leading deaths in teens.... I'm not a teen yet but it makes me want to badly.
I have had 3 that did and almost 2 friends try it...

If the 2 friends are successful then I will follow them no matter what.
I hate my life
I hate my shitty family (IRL)
I just hate that so many people care about someone like me...
Your just waisting your precious time on me..
I will try again...
I will try multiple times..
...
I know I promised you guys that I wouldn't but I can't be strong anymore
....
I've been strong for a few years now....I can't continue anymore

I can't cut which pisses me off more...

I can't be strong which pisses me off

I can't stop being ashamed of my body which pisses me off a lot

I am so fuckung suicidal yet I have people who love me
Which confuses me why

I made so many dumb decisions in my life
Yet no one cares...

I've drank bleach more than once..
Yet I'm still here..

I've cried so many tears...
Yet I still do

I cut so many times...
Yet I want to do it again..

I want to suffer because of how much pain I'm in...

I want to see taco again..
I want to see Spain again..
I want to see Elizabeth again..

Why do people that mean the world to me die...

Why can't I make you guys feel the same...

I can't because I live you guys...

Some note than friends

Others like family

And friends

...

I don't like it when people make fun of suicide or bring it up near me...

I just leave or start crying...

Like rn....

I'm crying writing this