I'm sorry for being annoying when I want to talk, needy because I miss you, emotional when I care & insecure because I'm afraid to lose you. 

Maybe I'm scared because you mean more to me than any other person. You are everything I think about, everything I need, everything I want. I miss our conversations, I miss how we used to talk every minute of everyday and how I was able to tell you everything that was on my mind. 

I'm sorry, that I mess things up, I'm sorry that I have a bad attitude, I'm sorry I'm a waste of space. I'm sorry I'm such a burden, I'm sorry I'm a huge fuck up, I'm sorry I can't do anything right, I'm sorry I'm so complicated. 

I'm sorry for being clingy. Emotional. Needy. Annoying, A Waste of Space, Stressful, Weird, Quiet, Distant, Ugly, Imperfect, Strange, Different, Unlovable, Useless, Worthless, Lonely, Depressed, Boring, Sad, Helpless, A Lost Cause, broken, Defeated. Me.

 I feel so ashamed that I showed my worst side to the best thing that ever happened to me, I'm sorry...

"Never forget the nine important words of any relationship/family: I Love You, You Are Beautiful, Please Forgive me." 

You see that girl? She looks happy, right? Telling jokes,smiling,having a great time and...dying inside. She's hurt. And tired. Tired of all the drama. Tired of not being good enough. Tired of life. But she doesn't want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything is perfect but she cries at night, so everybody thinks she's the happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is is perfect, if they knew the truth...if you see the tears in her eyes, I beg you to feel the pain in her heart....

I push people away when all I really want is for someone to hug me and say it's okay

I'm sorry I'm not perfect, I'm sorry I want to cut. I'm sorry I want to give up. I'm sorry I want to die. I'm sorry I want to kill myself. I'm sorry I hide my emotions. I'm sorry I lie and say 'I'm Fine' I'm sorry I pushed you away. 

I'm sorry for always being depressed, I didn't want to be this way, I didn't ask for depression, I don't always to constantly feel dead inside, and just breathing, like I'm always bleeding but can't find the wound. Like I'm drowning and everyone is watching.

If you guys can't tell, I'm badly depressed, and now that me and Sayra aren't together, it's gotten worse. I've been feeling suicidal, cutsy and just have been crying all the time, I have -Shyology- trying to cheer me up, but it's not working. I'll rant on my rants book on how I feel but, just know, I need friends, I need support, and I need someone to help me....

~a stupid, worthless, fucked up, piece of shit, useless. Becca~