So this is a thing, yes this book is a place where I tell the truth about my feelings and how I honestly feel instead of sugarcoating every little damn thing I say, so if you can't handle depression you should go somewhere else. So as of the past, oh I don't know, 3 months, I've been feeling: emotionless, like a waste of space, a disappointment, a bad person, like I have to be good enough for everyone, like I have to cover up how I really feel on the inside. I feel like nobody is there for me, and I already know from the start that someone is gonna come on here and bitch at me for my 'lying' well guess what sweeties? That me is so done, if you guys want me to tell the bitch ass truth, fine. I'm tired of feeling like I can't do jack shit right to anyone, I'm tired of feeling like a waste of space, I'm tired of people pushing me away when I need them most, I'm tired of being me. Being the girl that fakes the smiles, that wants to cut constantly, and no Sayra I know you're gonna read this, none of this is because of you, it's for other people, other people who don't give a fuck and actually enjoy making me feel like shit. I'm tired of people who are my fake friends and that they don't need me, so if you don't need me, stop fucking talking to me! I'm tired of people dragging me around and expecting me to be like the kind of friend who changes everything about me, no I'm not that friend. I'm the friend who is there to lean on and support when people need someone to talk to, I'm the person who puts my happiness aside to please others, and yes Sayra I am very, very happy with you, you're the only light in my world so don't think that you don't make me happy, because you do. Whenever I read sad and depressing quotes all I think is: "Wow, that sounds like my life everyday." People say they want to help me, but they leave whenever I ask for help. What kind of friend is that? The kind of friends who say they're there and they're not, it's called fake friends, and these past 10 months, I've met a lot of those. I have now realized I've hit over 400 words, so I'll end my rant here, I'm sorry again for being a fuck up.