As my debate coach would say, "I will stuff you into that filing cabin-"
*checks notes*
Oops wrong one
Anyway, I have now leveled up in our debate academy and I am in L3 now!!! Yall are lucky because there is somehow even more chaos in this one. Apparently, they also have a doc with quotes from past classes, so I will put some interesting ones here along with some from last class. In addition, disregard the numbers for students from previous chapters as we are dealing with a new class.
Enjoy :D
-Lin

Instructor: Rebuttal is when you dunk on your opponent and call them a dumb donkey.

Instructor: If I told you to pick from "I drop kick you into the sun right now" or in an hour, what would you choose?

Instructor: [student], please stop reading fanfiction in class.

Student: That's the flattest M I've seen.
Instructor: You're the flattest M I've seen.

Instructor: If your opponent throws a chair at you, dodge little kiddos. Use those dodging skills!

Instructor: All right, squids, we're back!

Instructor: I'm gonna kick all of you into the sun.

Instructor: Now it's time for a little section I like to call "Mom, where does plastic come from and where does it go after it dies?"

Instructor: [student], you're a circle.

Instructor: Me debating in nice mode is throwing punches while being nice.

Instructor: There are like a bunch of educator courses. Like finding out which students have like emotional problems, which is more for parents. That takes like 10 minutes. BUT, THE LONGEST COURSE IS ABOUT HOW STUDENTS SHOULDN'T EAT HAND SANITIZER, AND THAT TAKES LIKE AN HOUR.

Instructor: You all are emo today.

Instructor: [student], if you draw on the board, this isn't just going to be the end of your debate career, it's going to be the end of your LIFE.

S1: I am the sun.

S2: LOL is such a pleb word. LMAO is better.

S3: the emo hath reformed me.

S3: ME WHEN THE ECONOMY GOES UP... BUT THE ENVIRONMENT GOES DOWN!!! A/N this became a meme in the PF debate Slack channel lol

S1, S4, and S5: DEFENESTRATE THE PHONE!!!!

Instructor: what is this article about?
S3: Nerd emoji.

S2: ENGAYBLE HIM

S2: I'm gonna eat you [S5] 👹👹👹
S5: ...not if I eat you first

S3: Inflation be like... BREAD!!!! 10 BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!

S4: [S3] can't be smoking because he's an emo cat and cats can't vape!

S4: I'll stab you if you stab me!

S1: Tide Pods are actually healthy!

S3: Can I preorder [S6]?

S1: What if I very specifically talk to them in Spanish?

S4: Whatever the WeChat says goes. A/N btw WeChat is kinda like Asian Facebook

S4: Ya can't spell manslaughter without laughter!!!!!

Instructor: Hey hey hey you can kill each other but it has to be in the parking lot, okay?

Instructor: Because when we're talking about single use, what we're not talking about is like individual uses. It's not like [S5] has a straw for her drink and she drinks out of her straw and then throws it away and that's what makes it single use, because if [S5] gave her drink to [S1] and [S1] also drank out of that straw, other than being gross, that would not make it a double use plastic, it's still a single use plastic, that use being a straw.

Instructor: gold is a good example-
S4: Can we meet your girlfriend yet?
Everyone: ALDBFBABALSKAHAHAJFPNW
Instructor: she's technically my wife and also yeah she's gonna come over and hang out with us on Saturday for Cal
S4: YAY!
S5: Is she pretty?
S1: You want her to come over so you can steal her, don't you? I know you want to
S4: text your girlfriend- text your wife and tell her we wanna meet her!

Instructor: so theoretically you have two choices of what to do with it, right-
S3: EAT IT.
Instructor: well, okay I guess we can call it three then

Instructor: ...or you think about a barbecue and how no barbecues now have that hood thing because that adds a furnace element which like makes the thing hotter and more consistent- yes?
S3: I cook my food in Minecraft in furnaces.
Instructor: ...thank you

S7: What do you get when you burn it?
Instructor: You get cancer.