Big things are coming. March, 2018

School was getting boring and it just started a month ago. How could it even be possible?
My friends of the "Just In Case" club were heading to the cafeteria, while I just sat in some sort of an old chair, that was exactly in the middle of the halls. I was all alone, and tired.
I couldn't sleep well and this problem has gone too far. It's been two months and I'm still not over Julian and the things he said to me. I just couldn't believe how there are people like that. How can they even sleep, for real?
And the worst part of all is that my mom is going to live in Spain. She got a job there and for being honest I was so happy for her. She has been through a hard divorce with my dad and having to support her only and dramatic teenage girl makes me admire her a lot. After all our dramas, she is the only one there for me and I'm gonna miss her so badly. This week is just passing too fast, faster than I'd like to.
Roxanne came up with a piece of apple pie, and told me that everything was going to be fine and that I could perfectly be alone. And inside my heart I knew that, but I felt so lost. My mom is going in two weeks and I still haven't found some fun around here.
George and Maia were talking about the new friendship that just found the surface a month ago: Jenna and Abigail's one.
-I really don't understand how can she be with her after what she did to us- I said, eating my apple pie and looking at the two girls.
-Me neither. She treated us as if we were some kind of envious guys- replied Maia.
-What I don't get it is why are you worrying so much about it. Is not like Jenna doesn't know how is Abi, and frankly, she is a grown up already. She knows who to talk to- cut us Jonathan.
I looked to Jonathan and said:
-She is a manipulative girl and Jenna is some kind of a pedantic girl with an air of superiority. We are the cable down to earth of Jenna and that Abi just gives her wings to fly high. And that will definitely hurt Jenna.
-And not only Jenna but all her relatives. Don't you see how much Abi has interfered in her relationship with Allan?- asked Maia.
-It's obvious they weren't talking just for a month. They had probably spend summer together- said George.
-Anyways, we know what kind of girl is Abi. That friendship won't take longer. And don't forget I'm friend of Charlie. We can totally count on him- said Roxanne with a little of hate in her voice, and then smiled.
Charlie was Abi's ex. And they had a real long story, where Charles always cheated on Abi. One of the girls he cheated with was Roxanne, and although he is not good looking, is something that Roxie is proud of. She totally burned Abi, she would love to make it again.
Ring bell has sound, and we had to go back to our classroom.
My best friend, who is my cousin and who I love like a sister came up to me.
-Anne Cecile, I have some big news!
-Hi Lara! What's going on? Is there some gossip around?
-The best of the best. And you will love it.
I was wondering what could it be. Maybe that someone broke up or that Abi was kicked out of the school.
-Joshua broke up with his girlfriend.
And I stared at her, my face gone white.
-WHAT? I mean, or do you mean, Joshua Stone?
She rolled her eyes.
-And what other Joshua do we have in common darling? Besides, he is the only Joshua in your heart, isn't he?
I was in panic, and then anxious, that I started to stutter.
-Guys, please go to your places, and get back to work- ordered Mr. Martínez.
-I gotta go- she murmured and winked at me with a smile.
Oh my Gosh, could it be possible?
Joshua has been hanging out with her for more than 2 years now. When I came in 9th grade, I remember how cute he was for me and how Nadia and some other friends had him as a crush while he was totally into his relationship, so I kept the silence. And now, they have broken up? But why? He seems to be a great boyfriend.
He was so different from his brother, Alex. He was kind, and smart, and sweet, and handsome. He wasn't the typical womanizer, at least I never heard anything about that. And I pretty much know a lot about him.
And he respects his relationship, a lot. Not like Alex. My head was going to explode. But what if she was the one who hurted him?
But it couldn't be, I mean, come on. She seems really nice and calm, and sometimes even funny.
For a moment, I just forgot about Julian.
Yes, Julian was my love and I was sad about him but Joshua is that crush you just can't give up on.
And what if this is my big opportunity?
But it wasn't, I mean, it's more than 2 years. It's obvious that they are going to be back together or maybe it's just a rumor, a mistake.
The guy has done many things for her, as buying her books or helping her, even changing his own religion for her family to accept him. It may sound toxic but it's kinda cute.
And then I remember how I became an atheist because of Julian.
Can't I stop thinking about him for once, dear God?

After asking again to Lara for three times if she wasn't joking, she confirmed it to me with Veronica. Of course I didn't ask how or why they broke up because nobody except the closest people to me knows how Joshua got this crush power on me. But Veronica said that she didn't know yet because Alex won't tell her until "everything is cleared".
I went to my JIC friends and broke the news. The boys of course were like "meh", but the girls were happy for me.
-Your time to shine brighter baby!- exclaimed Roxanne.
When the class were done and I went home, I was thinking about everything.
I'm worried about not getting a boyfriend ever again when the only guy I ever dated was Julian and finally my crush since 2016 was single AGAIN and I was afraid that he gets back with her. The real question here is, what if he doesn't like me because I'm not his type? What if I tried and he just sees me as, I don't know, another brunette and common girl?
What if I just leave it there and pretend like nothing happened and wait until maybe 5 years to try something new?
And what is worrying me too is my future. What am I going to do after school is over? I'm practically just studying and having drama and gossips. But none of that is mature anymore when you get to college. And that scares me a lot. I need a plan, a study plan, not a crush plan.
Besides what am I thinking? Is not that I will go right now to him. I mean come on, they just broke up. He is obviously into her yet. What a ridiculous girl I am sometimes, for real.

I went to my bedroom to take a nap after lunch. My mother wasn't home and she wasn't going to arrive until probably 7 p.m., so I planned to go to Maia's house and do homework there, but as always I got asleep while listening to Seventeen.
I wanted a love story like that when I was 15, wanting to finally be 17. Now I'm here, waiting for a guy that works on a record shop. Thank you Avril for keeping up my expectations as always.