The return. Saturday Mid-Night.

I didn't know what was Josh going to do, but I hope nothing wrong. I stayed there while watching people come and go, and then I saw Lara going upstairs with Chris.
Since I was 12 years old, I wanted to know what it feels like to have sex. Is a thought that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable at all, like some of my friends. And I always wanted to have sex with someone really special, but, is Chris special to Lara? They just started to talk like a week ago or so. Is more like a casual thing, and my question then is: Would I be able to have it with someone just like that, out of the blue?
I wanted to lost my virginity with the librarian of some library I used to go. His name is Fabian, and he is tall, big smile, beautiful dark eyes, and some curly hair. I had this huge crush on him, but then, and for some reason, that crush just disappeared.
He was really kind with me and that made me think "well, he might treat you like a goddess while having sex", but you never really know. And besides, he was 8 years older than me, so, to him, I was more like a little sister.
Then, I wanted, but really wanted to have sex with my ex boyfriend. I loved him so much, and he was such a cutie pie with me. But it just never happened, and I am glad. I'd be completely destroyed.
Seeing Lara going upstairs with Chris was really, weird. She used to be really shy, and I was the social one. But now it seems like things had change, and I feel okay with that, but I don't want Lara to be the sexual object of somebody. If she is fine then everything is fine, but for her, I want the best.
And Chris is great, he really is, but he had a thing for a girl, who happens to be my mid-namesake: Anne Pauline. And this girl is a slut, no offense, I have some girl friends who are slut too. But this one in particular is disgusting. She had slept with half of the school and fine, she can do whatever she wants with her pussy. But, Lara, letting this guy get in her while knowing he have done so with the major slut, is kind of gross.
I decided to get a drink when my phone rang.
-Where are you?
-I'm next the bar, you?
-I think I'm behind you.
There was Joshua, smiling at me. And we went on a ride.
-Did your mom gave you permission?
For somehow, I was thrilled. It was the first time I got away from a party to be with a guy, in his car. Well, his mom's, but whatever.
-Let's say she thinks I'm still in bed. Did you have fun?
-Tons, you wouldn't understand.
-Some?
He was driving with one hand, and the other was offering me a blunt.
-I don't do drugs, Josh.
-It won't hurt you. I'm a expert in this. C'mon, take it.
I took it. And then I threw it outside the car.
-I said no. No, is no, Joshua.
He stopped the car.
-There wasn't a need to throw it! It was a perfect joint! I thought you would like it, you told me you were in favor!
-Yes, I am in favor of it and I want weed to be legalized, but it doesn't mean I want to smoke it, I certainly don't want to right now and I won't want to for the next future years. I told you no, and you asked it again.
-I just told you it wouldn't hurt you!
-Not interested. Did you take me out to have a blunt with me?
He seemed mad. And what was that? Why did I act like that?
-You know what? Why I don't get you to the party again and pretend that this never happened?
-Take me to the party, then wait for me, and take us both Lara and I to her house.
-Fine.
What if he offered me to have sex with him? And I would have say no, and he would have say, what?, "It won't hurt you, I already know how to fuck so that's why I'm telling you."
Fuckin idiot. But I overreacted tho.
-You know what, I'm sorry. You are right. You told me you don't do drugs and I should respect that. I don't pretend you being like me, I just thought it would be fun.
-It's fine, I'm not mad at you. I'm okay with you smoking it and you know that.
-Yeah, perfectly.
He turned up the stereo, and while listening to Gym Glass Heroes, he stopped at a beer store. Now, to that, I would never say no. But he asked me first, of course.
And we stayed there for a couple of hours, talking about God, how he believed, how I stopped doing it. And telling him about Richard Dawkins was hard, mostly because I felt like I was talking about Julian all over again. It sounds pathetic but, hey! I'M 16! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE PATHETIC!
-So, you are all science young lady- he said, laughing.
-I'm sorry, I just don't believe what I can't see.
-I have him in my heart. God, I mean. I really like talking to him, it makes me feel...
-Fulfilled- I said.
-Yeah.
-I used to do that, a lot. And I always beg for my parents. To be together, to be happy, to solve the problems. There is a period when you just can't anymore. I didn't feel him, no more. I stopped believing.
-But hey, your mom has gone. Maybe this is the way things have to be.
-Yeah, maybe.
-You know, if you want, you can come with me at the church, to listen, maybe learn, it's interesting.
I smiled.
-I know I'm not going to get bored there. I mean, reading and understanding the Bible is pretty hard, but is not my thing...
-It's fine. I'm not going to obligate you.
There was a silence.
-I'm sorry about the joint- I said.
-It's fine. Maybe you are with all your emotions in the air.
We laughed.
-What about you? What about your ex?
-I don't like talking about her at all.
-Okay.
And while being in quiet for a while, I checked my phone.
Jesus Christ! It was 2:45 A. M!
-Josh! We have to go! My aunt will be at the party at any moment!
Josh grabbed the keys and got in his car, and drove as fast as he could to Oscar's house.
We got there by 3:15 A. M., and there was my aunt, just arriving at the party.
-The right time- said Josh.
-You have to go too. Talk to you later?
-Deal- he said, and kissed me on the cheek.
I got off the car, and luckily my aunt didn't see me doing that, but when I pretended to get in the house, she definitely saw me.
-Darling! Where is Lara?
-Hi auntie! I saw you, so right now I was going to get her.
-Yeah but I thought you were going to be together...
I looked down.
-And we were, she just went off the kitchen a sec with Flavia and the others.
-I'll wait here- said my aunt, in front of the front door.
There were a lot of people, even more than when I left. I got upstairs, but Lara was nowhere.
Fuck it.
I called her but her phone was turned off. I called Chris, but his line was off, too.
It didn't take longer to find her in the kitchen. With Flavia.
The Visionare they call me.
-Where the hell have you been Anne?! I've been looking you!
-For what? The last 10 minutes? Let's go, your mom is here.
She grabbed her things and we got out.
-How was the party girls?
-It was amazing, food was great- said Lara.
-It was really cool- I finished.
Lara seemed to be so happy. Maybe Chris was a real nice guy.

-Wake up girls! You need to wake up!
Lara and I were really dead. Alcohol in our veins, party last night, and my day without my mom has officially started.
-BREAKFAST LADIES!- screamed my aunt downstairs.
-My God, is just 10:30. What the fuck?
Lara was still sleeping.
I checked on my phone. Joshua hasn't texted me yet. I couldn't see his profile picture or his info. As if I was blocked.
I try to not think. Maybe it's because he was sleeping and couldn't make it to the church or something.
Lara washed her face, and came into her bedroom.
-How was Chris last night?
Lara smiled.
-He is really, really lovely Anne. I'm so into him, that if right now, he asks me to marry him, I'll totally accept it.
-I can feel you sis.
And the she just realized everything.
-GIRL! DID YOU HANG OUT WITH JOSH?!
And starting to laugh. I laughed too, trying to calm her down.
-We didn't have sex if that is your question. But he offered me a blunt.
-Did you get high?
Lara was really surprised.
-Of course not, I wouldn't do it. Not right now at least.  But he is really cute, I loved to hang out with him.
-Was there a kiss at least?
I denied. She seemed really disappointed.
-THE BREAKFAST IS GETTING COLD!
We got downstairs. And then, Lara received a notification.
-Lara. You didn't even have breakfast, leave that cellphone now.
But she didn't listen. Instead, she put her phone on my face.
And I bet the breakfast wasn't as cold as that picture.
-Oh my Gosh, I'm so sorry Anne!
But I wasn't sad. I was surprised and really confused. Josh got back with her ex girlfriend. Now girlfriend, again.